What ever happened to Luther?

[Luther]

 HOWARD: I don't in anyway want to portray Jovie in a negative light.  She is a sweet, sweet lady and I care about her very much.  What you have to understand is that Jovie was in her mid-thirties at the time.  She was just about comfortable with the fact that she might never marry.  She took comfort in her family and showered her nephews, nieces and siblings with affection.  Jovie also had an excellent job with the City of Panabo in the city hall.  She made great money and was a major provider for her family.  She was a warm, wonderful, happy person who always had a treat for the kids and a little something when the family needed it for emergencies, or family gatherings, holidays, you get the picture.
  ME: Why do you want to see my wife as all good and me as all bad? Do you have any inkling that people have a public face? Have you considered that a social butterfly like my wife is not giving you the whole picture when you meet her a couple times on your vacation? You have spent exactly how much time with your wife's family here in the Philippines? Exactly how much time have you spent with any of them in real life, outside of visiting and vacationing? My wife was 41 when I met her, and had been working for City Hall for 16 years, and was bringing home about $160 a month. Great job my lily white ass, but one of the biggest lies that has been spread about me is that I told her to quit the job. I told her to do what she felt was the right thing. It's a long flippin story that you have dispensed with in a couple of well aimed pokes at someone you don't know.
 
 HOWARD: Luther hadn't even married Jovie yet and was causing upheaval.  Way to get off on the right foot, Unc!  Somewhere right around that time he made some inappropriate political comments here on PL and started a heated discussion with a few of the regulars.  Aghast at his in ability to realize what was appropriate public conversation and what wasn't…
 ME: My nephew, what are you smoking? Are you aware of the swill coming out of your own mouth? What are you saying about a total stranger here on the world wide web and what is appropriate about it?
 HOWARD: I kinda slipped into the background and let the guys he was arguing with beat on him. 
 ME: That you did! And when you think I'm good and gone you join in the flogging! Is that what your mama taught you, big boy? It proves you are no Filipino, you call me Unc with a sneer, but Filipinos don't just DO family loyalty, they FEEL IT. They truly do respect their elders, no question about it. Being only my nephew in law, and a republican, I absolve you for not looking up to me. But I am surrounded on all sides by nieces and nephews who have heard the same gossip you have heard--although maybe with less venom, since your wife is the primary grudgeholder in all this despite having barely met me--I am treated with respect by all of my nieces and nephews here and they actually live here, they see what I have done for this huge family, and they know that the very few people who hold serious grudges against me for disagreements we have had are covering up gaps in their own social abilities. One of the things that's hard for a shy Filipino about living in close quarters with a foreigner is that one must continually acknowledge someone you are intimidated by. You don't share much ability to speak, you don't understand why the big white guy had to marry your sister and then turned out to be poor white hick trash with no big income, and being a shy Filipino, resentment builds because your favorite sister used to give you her Christmas bonus from work, and now she says her white-ass husband made her quit her job (look up "little white lie" in Culture Shock)…If you're a shy Filipino forced into close quarters with someone you don't understand, don't you think you are going to eventually lash out at the vaguest excuse and put the death blow to the relationship so you can never speak to the white creep again? Since in Howard's mind Filipinos are perfect, of course none of this would ever happen, but I say to you without guile: bigotry is caused by fear, and it is aimed at someone who makes you uncomfortable because they are different. The one brother who actively dislikes me is one person. The one niece who spits blood everytime she thinks about me, well she is the person who will have your balls on a spit and roasting before you get half done ever trying to say anything nice about me. Be a man, nephew, get a grip, and do not trash folk you when you have no personal knowledge of the situation.
What is the purpose of accumulating points against me, and how much of your information cam firsthand? Zero? Right!
 

[Luther]

 HOWARD: Then I find out that he is pissed at me for not sticking up for him as a family member and is bad mouthing me to Gerlie's Aunts and Cousins who he had contact with via the internet. 
 ME: No, your wife has internet contact with her aunts and cousins, I LIVE WITH THEM. This is an extended community here and we gain nothing by badmouthing each other. Someone has trashtalk going on, upon the internet, that would be the only person on the internet who hates the ground I walk on, do I have to say her name? If you believe everything she tells you, then you must be VERY HAPPY!!! Congratulations and yup yup yo, may you remain so happily naive the rest of your days! Did I call her a liar? No, I called her a Pinay; if she starts trashtalking me, then her relatives will just nod in agreement because they are more related to her than to me and that's how it works. I have to accept that because this is my home. You can be oblivious to how your wife's family functions because it is just a novelty to you. You MUST deal with exactly one foreigner. I must deal with that angry young lady's badmouthing me from here till the end of my days, to MANY foreigners who I actually live with.
 HOWARD: He never bothered to contact me directly, nor did it seem to bother him that I didn't share his sentiments.  I was just supposed to stick up for him because he was marrying my Aunt.  He's spouting some anti-government crap “cashing that government check each month" making an idiot out of himself in front of my friends and I am supposed to take his side?  He obviously didn't know me very well   Luckily for me, the ones he was slamming me to also knew me pretty well and didn't want to hear it, but I'm pretty sure it caused some damage with Auntie Nene, which is a shame.
 
 ME: I used to email you regularly but you stopped responding. If I'm not entitled to my own political viewpoints because you and your friends disagree, then majority rules. You waited till my back was turned to start throwing stones, you have never criticized me to my face.
 HOWARD: …Auntie Nene continued to work while Luther settled in.  There were several conflicts with various family members “ my in-laws included " that were usually the product of Luther's lack of tact and/or courtesy.
 ME: You were not here, you can start taking it all back now. If you're big enough.
 
 

[Luther]

 HOWARD: When asked to kick in, if he does at all, it's the least amount possible.  I know of at least one instance where he agreed to pay for something for a family gathering "they all pitch in for their big parties, emergencies, family needs as a whole--their tradition"--and just never did.  To be fair, i'm sure Luther has been hit up from time to time for this or that, but it's part of being part of the family.  He just doesn't seem to get this.
 ME: Tinuod man? On whose authority? You've never met me, haven't been here in almost ten years, your wife has never had a more than half-assed conversation with me but has screamed in my face over the phone and thinks I don't have the right to put the phone down and cancel any future phone calls from her, and what is it that I JUST DON'T GET?
This is the part where I explain the passive-aggressive personality, nationalized or culturalized. When it is taboo to criticize anyone because it might create conflict, stuff builds up in people, there is little opportunity to vent, and complaining has to be done just so or it is frowned upon. Read Culture Shock about "running amok". Example: my bro-in-law doesn't speak to me for five years except for "Hawa!" ("Get out of the way!") and he walks around with a big thorny stick up his fine perfect ass and no way to vent about life's little disappointments. He waits and waits and the first time I screw up and open my big mouth to criticize somebody's abysmal behavior, kerboom! He's threatening me with a machete, a beer bottle in each hand, picking up a chair to threaten me with…why? Because people who have no allowable way to vent anger have a physical need for a scapegoat. It is with a great rush of adrenalin that my wife's favorite brother gleefully vents on me because he needs to, and because he can. He has more rapport with everyone here than I do, so he can get away with what I have never done. I have never threatened him in any way. I tell my wife all the time, Go talk to your brother the way you talk to me…she never has an answer to that.
 They. Do. Not. Criticize. Each. Other. Passive aggressive culture. It's not their fault, I am sure that the Catholic priests taught them with a whip to keep their complaints to themselves 400 years ago. This is what they have left, the only culture they have, their religion and alphabet erased by white people, their tribal ways and handmade goods replaced by mass media, factory crap from China, and corrupt centralized government, I don't expect them to be perfect and I live next door to a bro-in-law who despises me for reasons he doesn't even understan, over a FEW petty disagreements. Now YOU get out of my face and apologize, and never speak about me in this way again, my nephew.

[Luther]

 HOWARD: Long after the first year was over…
 ME: This myth you keep bringing up that I was only planning to live here for a year…get over it. It's a lie.
 HOWARD: Jovie and Luther decided to try for a child. 
 ME: What is your point, and where are you getting your facts? We decided to try for a child before we ever met, silly boy! If you are going to start attacking me as a father now, first ask yourself how you would like someone to do that to you. But it's too late, you already did it…
 HOWARD: During the process Jovie got very ill and was diagnosed with cysts on her ovaries.  The doctor said that she needed to have the cysts removed or risk serious complications, but that removing the cysts would just about guarantee that she couldn't bear children and highly recommended a hysterectomy to avoid future cysts.  When Luther was told that she wouldn't be able to bear a child, he suggested that she wait a while so they could continue trying.  During that time the cysts got so bad that she was rushed to the hospital, bleeding so badly that they were fearful of the worst, but she still wouldn't get the operation without her husband's approval.  Gerlie lost her mind when told of this!  I'm not sure how she decided to deal with the cysts, but I know she eventually did and that they began looking to adopt.
 ME: This is where I could call a lawyer and start becoming the new owner of your home and your business, however I don't do court, I do life. Here are the facts. My wife got pregnant once on our honeymoon and had a miscarriage before I moved to the Phils. She got pregnant a second time during the first year and had another miscarriage. The mayuma or uterine growths were large and benign. She did not have a health problem at any time, but the growths drew lifeblood away from the fetus which had no chance of survival. She had severe depression as any woman would and this takes its toll physically but she was never sick. She used her Christmas bonus from work do get the hysterectomy done AGAINST the doctor's recommendation since she had nothing wrong with her health. She was afraid the growths would turn into cancer. I did NOT suggest she "wait a while" so I could get her pregnant again, I kept my feelings to myself and let her decide what she wanted to do, and when she did it, she must have told everyone I had forced her to do this and that, quit her job and told everyone I made her, etc. Oddly enough I have no control over this, just because I'm her husband doesn't make me lord of anything. She is an extremely independent person who everyone is afraid to mess with, no one tells her what to do, but I come closer than other people do to trying…because guess what? I have to live with her. I don't get the social face, I get the palaluod (that's continual "tampo"if you prefer Tagalog), in fact her nickname as a small child was TAMPOKA, my nephew. So get off your high horse and say you're sorry for the things you have publicly accused me of, on the world wide web, behind my back.
 There was NO rushing to the hospital, NO bleeding at all, no sudden crisis, no crisis at all. She waited months for her Christmas bonus to come, scheduled the surgery, and got it done. Pretty much against my better judgement and the doctor's. Don't believe it? Tough crackers, Polly Perfect, I was there, bub. You have made many very creepy and extremely wrong accusations here in this public forum.
 
 HOWARD: …they found a brother whose wife was pregnant and convinced them to let them adopt the baby once it was born.  I know that that went through because they have been raising this kid for a few years now as their own, but can't legally adopt him.
 ME: OK, you aren't my nephew, I had it all wrong. Here's what happened. I had no part of this. A couple people tried to sell us babies and we didn't want to go that way. You know, the "euphemism" kind of thing you read about in Culture Shock, where someone says you're "reimbursing them" for all the expenses they've had since the pregnancy began, but really they're trying to sell you their baby. In fact my wife's favorite brother, yes, the one who hates me and doesn't speak to me because I have had to stand up for what's right a FEW times, he was accused of selling us his baby by one of his sisters-in-law, and he threw a big tantrum, tossed his drinking glass on the cement…the sort of behavior I would not be forgiven for, but who cares? I would never throw a drinking glass on the ground. Though I did smash a little plastic trash basket to smithereens one day when someone bulldozed my garden.
 Anyhow, one glorious day that I will never forget, my wife said to me out of the blue that my bayaw (spouse's sibling) and his wife my bilas (wife's bro's spouse) had gotten themselves pregnant and were offering us their child because they knew we wanted one. THAT is what happened, and I didn't argue for a moment, and have never regretted it. What you call "this kid" and "it" will, if you ever put in an appearance here, walk up to you with a big grin and "amin" you by grabbing your outstretched hand and touching it lightly to his forehead. He LOVES your beautiful little boy, worships the ground he walks on, and if you ever come here to visit, he will have no idea whatsoever that you hate his father and badmouth him on the world wide web, because in my world we don't help a situation by spreading filth about people to our children. To my cherished offspring, who might as well have grown INSIDE ME for how I feel about him, you are his uncle, and you get the same respect as all his other uncles. So by all means, drop by any time, and I'll simply inform my child, in his native tongue, that you and I don't speak the same kind of English, and that's why we have nothing to say to each other. It's all about euphemism, family loyalty, and letting others save face when they fall short of perfection. Now you get that straight on your own because I don't have the ability to force you to rescind your inexcusable attitude toward me.
 I have paid every penny for my son's welfare since 8 months before he was born, starting 8 months before he was born. And when his little brother was born to my bayaw and bilaw, with poop in his lungs, I put money in their hand to help save their baby. And when their teenage cousin down the street was dying in the hallway of the hospital from  typhoid because her parents couldn't pay for a room, I forced money into the hands of the girl's mother, who was too shy to ask for it.
 Every child under the age of 35 in this wonderful NON-PARADISE that I love calls me Buddy. Yeah, forget Luther, Filipinos love nicknames. One day my one-year old tried calling me Honey, like me and my wife call each other, because he was always hearing "Honey this," and "honey that." We laughed and without thinking I suggested he call me Buddy, because that's what I call him, and he surprised me. I only said it once, and I wasn't even serious. But he has called me Buddy ever since, never called me Papa again, and for years now, every kid within five kilometers of here, even some who are now grown up, they all call me Buddy. They come upstairs to where I work, and play around my feet all day, I let them watch movies on my TV when I'm trying to write, I spent three days recovering my wife's billiard table for them, the list goes on. I am a good dad and I bet you are too. Now what is wrong with that, and who on God's green earth would want to portray another person as a bad person when they have no information personally and have never met him?

[Luther]

 HOWARD: Oh yeah! remember the great job Auntie Nene had?  When they decided to adopt their son he had her quit it to be a stay at home mother.  Never mind that he is already at home all day and her job is one to kill for in the Philippines.  He decided, she complied and is now completely dependent on him.  Brilliant!
 ME: How do they taste in your mouth, these points you arrogate to yourself, and what do you want them for? Can you spend them at the store? My wife had a terrible low-paying job with a huge Christmas bonus that made it worth it for her to keep the job. She lived on nothing her whole life so making $5 a day was a job worth keeping and I wanted her to keep it but told her to do what she wanted. She has a hard time getting anywhere on time since we live five kilometers from town, and had a terrible attendance record, especially with two miscarriages and a hysterectomy. One day she just stopped going to work, and changed her mind many months later, but a new mayor had come in and he took one look at her attendance record and said she was "too old for the job". That's face-saving euphemism, you should try it some time.
 
 HOWARD: So it's been just about 5 years now.  Luther has a wonderful wife, a child, a home, property and lives in a self described paradise. 
 ME: Did the local gossip mention that I bought an additional piece of property for my wife when I first came here? That I have planted a hundred fruit trees on it so that I will have something to leave my son when I die?
 HOWARD: Jovie, who desperately wants to visit the US can't get a visa because she doesn't have sufficient means to prove that she would return home without her job. 
ME: That job wouldn't have gotten her home from Manila. To get a vacation visa into the US you need a steady income WHILE you're in the US, that is a business up and running back home in the Phils or a fat savings account.
HOWARD: So how is Luther, you ask?  I'd say Luther is pretty darn good. Feel free to ask questions if you have any.
ME: I have a better idea. Next time someone wants to know about me, send them straight to me. Why did you go on this drawn-out rant against me when Robert Angel was asking about me and you could have given him my email address, my yahoo chat id, or kept your mouth shut? I could start counting what you might have taken from me with your attitude, besides the possible friendship of Robert Angel, but they say here that we are not supposed to count things that people take from us, only what they give us.
 Here's a story: I was at a Tom Petty concert in my last life as an Americano, in a big gymnasium. People were milling about on the gym floor, packed in pretty tight, and dancing a little. Then someone started throwing firecrackers into the crowd. Tom Petty stopped singing and motioned his band to be quiet, and he said, real soft, into the microphone, but you could hear a pin drop, "Whoever is throwing those firecrackers IS NOT MY FRIEND!"
 Take that any way you want.
 

[Luther]

 BEAR: I knew it was bad but I didn't know it was that bad.  Gee!  Takes all kinds.
ME: Bear, what you don't know I could write a book about. In fact I just did. It is 5:22 a.m. and I ain't finished informing you yet.
 RAY: Hey Howard, Wasn't Luther on SSI? According to the law, you are no longer eligible for SSI benefits after you have been out of the country for a month. What does he do for income now?
 ME: Hey Ray! No I'm not on SSI and it's none of your business, this is a public place and my financial situation doesn't concern you, like about a thousand times more than it doesn't concern Howard.
HOWARD: Ray, I believe that is his income.  I'm pretty sure he has it direct deposited to a US bank near where his family lives and uses their address for any correspondence,  He accesses it via the internet. Nice deal, eh?
ME: Howard, I believe you are mistaken and spreading falsehoods about your uncle in a public forum on the world wide web. What would you think if I put up an essay about your personal finances on a blog or something? Your sarcasm too has been duly noted.
ROBERT: Bear, Ray--and especially Howard--- I appreciate your replies to my initial query about "Whatever happened to Luther". I knew from the get go that the guy had some issues and was cynical and eccentric, but I hoped that he would find something better that would also be good or 'better' for everyone involved with him.

 …To irritate and alienate the family unit in the Philippines--all the while one that that accepts you over there, seems to me about the worst thing you could do--totally against one of the most core values over there. Jovie has always seemed to be warm, wonderful person who has sacrificed a lot for others. As I have said, I hoped for better, but was concerned. Thanks for the info, sad as it is. It was worthwhile for me to read.
 ME: How's this for cynical and eccentric. For 33 years I have been building up a body of research in my chosen field of technology and it might pan out or it might not. I am the recognized expert in my field of inquiry, worldwide, and after all this time I have finally attracted qualified technical people to my project. We are either going to succeed or we are going to fail, but if we fail it won't be for lack of good intentions, and it certainly won't be on account of any cynicism, whatever that is. Bear and Ray would be happy to inform you that I am nothing if I am not naïve, cynicism is the disease of America and the thing I miss the least about that place. What I miss the most are the purple mountain majesties, blah blah blah, I will probably never see it again, but my life has been given, maybe naively, to a good cause, toward the hopeful benefit of all people everywhere including the vast majority who don't understand me and don't want to take the effort to try. I write colorfully and descriptively, can't hold a casual conversation, that's my disability by the way, but if it seems that I am cynical, the fact is, I am expressive and I make my point. Verbally you'd have me pinned down in two seconds, it is a real disability to have no idea what to do around people and no ability to learn it. If anyone claims I am unfriendly, well they know where to find me if they want to talk to me about it.
HOWARD: To be fair…
 ME: Uh huh, right…
 HOWARD: I'm sure he was approached with a lot of 'business' ideas when he first got there and that made him more paranoid than he already was to begin with. 
 ME: "I'm sure" don't cut the mustard when you're drooling into a microphone that's blaring out over the world wide web. About someone you have never met. I am paranoid because people like me who have no up-front eyeball-meeting handshake-pushing personal charisma to charm others with (or who have a little social energy but run out quickly) are bully bait and subject to ridicule everywhere they go. Or like Howard who sensed right away that I would never fit into his clique of pretty people…they just ignore me till I'm gone and then start throwing darts at me. "You bet I'm paranoid," as the bumper sticker says.
 HOWARD: I think the biggest thing is that his wife is afraid to tell him when he is acting badly. 
 ME: Tinuod man? My wife doesn't know fear, I thought you said you knew her. She isn't afraid to hit me with chairs and flowerpots, push me down the stairs, threaten me with butcher knives and shovels. She isn't afraid to put our child on her back and walk down the road with no money and no way to care for him, threatening to abandon me. She's at it again today, or that was yesterday, she threw a tantrum over I DON'T KNOW WHAT BECAUSE SHE WON'T TELL ME before I went to bed, so finding your swaggering swill her on the InterTrumpet was quite a blow, made my whole body kinda trembly, ya know?
 Hey, but no hard feelings, nephew, I have vented and as they say here in the Phils about family failings, "It's OK," it is 6 am and I wrote non-stop all night with never a moment of not knowing what I wanted to say. I am almost sure I didn't call you any names or insult you or accuse you of anything you didn't do
HOWARD: Since he must have some kind of problem knowing what's going on around him it's compounded over there, because everyone is so accommodating. 
 ME: I won't deny that socially I don't have a clue. Since doing myself in is not an option, excuse me if I continue to strive to do what little I can with what little social intelligence I have, and do me a god-syzed favor and get your uninformed BS out of my way.
 

[Luther]

 HOWARD: I'm not even sure he knows how it gets sometimes because he doesn't or didn't speak the language.

 ME: The first three years I lived here I stopped my other research project and took up a study of the language 24/7. I posted my 300 page book on the internet about the Visayan language five years ago and went back to my first love, researching a certain little-understood aspect of one branch of engineering certain physical phenomena. My understanding of the Visayan grammar is excellent, my book is better than any available, but I suffer from a relatively scanty vocabulary, have a hard time processing sounds of speech at natural conversational speed, and have the same lack of conversational ability that always made me stand out from the crowd in the US. Since I can hardly talk, it's a good thing I can write or my head would have exploded a long time ago. My dad and grandpa were the same way, none of us could hold down our end of a conversation verbally, and it does make certain types of people want to sling stuff. It is instinctive alpha male behavior, like baboons. Or in the case of your wife, alpha female since she is the oldest of 32 nieces and nephews and because of that she doesn't know what it's like to not be top dog among her family peers. Her ma is the oldest of 12 siblings and is in the same boat.
 

[Ray]

BEAR: I knew it was bad but I didn't know it was that bad.  Gee!  Takes all kinds.
ME: Bear, what you don't know I could write a book about. In fact I just did. It is 5:22 a.m. and I ain't finished informing you yet.
RAY: Hey Howard, Wasn't Luther on SSI? According to the law, you are no longer eligible for SSI benefits after you have been out of the country for a month. What does he do for income now?
 ME: Hey Ray! No I'm not on SSI and it's none of your business, this is a public place and my financial situation doesn't concern you, like about a thousand times more than it doesn't concern Howard.
HOWARD: Ray, I believe that is his income.  I'm pretty sure he has it direct deposited to a US bank near where his family lives and uses their address for any correspondence,  He accesses it via the internet. Nice deal, eh?
ME: Howard, I believe you are mistaken and spreading falsehoods about your uncle in a public forum on the world wide web. What would you think if I put up an essay about your personal finances on a blog or something? Your sarcasm too has been duly noted.
ROBERT: Bear, Ray--and especially Howard--- I appreciate your replies to my initial query about "Whatever happened to Luther". I knew from the get go that the guy had some issues and was cynical and eccentric, but I hoped that he would find something better that would also be good or 'better' for everyone involved with him.

 …To irritate and alienate the family unit in the Philippines--all the while one that that accepts you over there, seems to me about the worst thing you could do--totally against one of the most core values over there. Jovie has always seemed to be warm, wonderful person who has sacrificed a lot for others. As I have said, I hoped for better, but was concerned. Thanks for the info, sad as it is. It was worthwhile for me to read.
 ME: How's this for cynical and eccentric. For 33 years I have been building up a body of research in my chosen field of technology and it might pan out or it might not. I am the recognized expert in my field of inquiry, worldwide, and after all this time I have finally attracted qualified technical people to my project. We are either going to succeed or we are going to fail, but if we fail it won't be for lack of good intentions, and it certainly won't be on account of any cynicism, whatever that is. Bear and Ray would be happy to inform you that I am nothing if I am not naïve, cynicism is the disease of America and the thing I miss the least about that place. What I miss the most are the purple mountain majesties, blah blah blah, I will probably never see it again, but my life has been given, maybe naively, to a good cause, toward the hopeful benefit of all people everywhere including the vast majority who don't understand me and don't want to take the effort to try. I write colorfully and descriptively, can't hold a casual conversation, that's my disability by the way, but if it seems that I am cynical, the fact is, I am expressive and I make my point. Verbally you'd have me pinned down in two seconds, it is a real disability to have no idea what to do around people and no ability to learn it. If anyone claims I am unfriendly, well they know where to find me if they want to talk to me about it.
HOWARD: To be fair…
 ME: Uh huh, right…
 HOWARD: I'm sure he was approached with a lot of 'business' ideas when he first got there and that made him more paranoid than he already was to begin with. 
 ME: "I'm sure" don't cut the mustard when you're drooling into a microphone that's blaring out over the world wide web. About someone you have never met. I am paranoid because people like me who have no up-front eyeball-meeting handshake-pushing personal charisma to charm others with (or who have a little social energy but run out quickly) are bully bait and subject to ridicule everywhere they go. Or like Howard who sensed right away that I would never fit into his clique of pretty people…they just ignore me till I'm gone and then start throwing darts at me. "You bet I'm paranoid," as the bumper sticker says.
 HOWARD: I think the biggest thing is that his wife is afraid to tell him when he is acting badly. 
 ME: Tinuod man? My wife doesn't know fear, I thought you said you knew her. She isn't afraid to hit me with chairs and flowerpots, push me down the stairs, threaten me with butcher knives and shovels. She isn't afraid to put our child on her back and walk down the road with no money and no way to care for him, threatening to abandon me. She's at it again today, or that was yesterday, she threw a tantrum over I DON'T KNOW WHAT BECAUSE SHE WON'T TELL ME before I went to bed, so finding your swaggering swill her on the InterTrumpet was quite a blow, made my whole body kinda trembly, ya know?
 Hey, but no hard feelings, nephew, I have vented and as they say here in the Phils about family failings, "It's OK," it is 6 am and I wrote non-stop all night with never a moment of not knowing what I wanted to say. I am almost sure I didn't call you any names or insult you or accuse you of anything you didn't do
HOWARD: Since he must have some kind of problem knowing what's going on around him it's compounded over there, because everyone is so accommodating. 
 ME: I won't deny that socially I don't have a clue. Since doing myself in is not an option, excuse me if I continue to strive to do what little I can with what little social intelligence I have, and do me a god-syzed favor and get your uninformed BS out of my way.

 
  Wow!
　
Congratulations Luther, that has to set a forum record for the longest psychotic rant ever. Robert is surely jealous now… LOL!
　
Luther, the only reason that I brought up the subject of SSI payments is because YOU previously brought it up right here on this forum. Yes, you did voluntarily discuss your financial problems and tell the world that you were drawing a monthly Social Security Disability (SSI) check from the government for a mental disability. You even discussed living in the Philippines on your monthly government check.
　
Now you may be correct that your current financial situation is none of my business, BUT, since you are the one who decided to post your financial problems here on the forum, those past issues are fair game for discussion.
　
And IF you are or have been drawing illegal SSI benefits while living abroad, then it most certainly IS my freaking business since you are ripping off myself and all the other taxpayers in the US.
　
So Luther, to clear this matter up for the record, have you ever drawn a Social Security Disability payment while you were living out of the country?
　
Hey, YOU are the one now bringing up all of your past and present problems here on the forum, so all this bluster about suing and owning somebody’s house for some perceived slander is just nonsense. YOU chose to discuss in some depth your personal financial and mental problems, so as far as we know, those issues are true, correct?
　
Ray
　 

[Luther]

Yes, you did voluntarily discuss your financial problems and tell the world that you were drawing a monthly Social Security Disability (SSI) check from the government for a mental disability.

SSI is for people who can't get social security because they haven't paid into it. It means Supplemental Security Income and it's a form of welfare based on need; the SS doesn't stand for social security. Social security disability insurance is bought and paid for by involuntary withholdings taken from our paychecks. I held 35 jobs before I went on social security disability but as you say, my financial details are not any of your business. In order to get the advice I wanted, at one time I gave out limited info about myself on this site, and that was not meant to be a license for you to trash my reputation. I paid into it for 32 years. Even Ayn Rand the famous arch-conservative collected social security.

　
Now you may be correct that your current financial situation is none of my business...
　

See, I knew we'd agree on something sooner or later if we kept on talking long enough.

...for a mental disability.

I have a severe social disability that I covered up with great effort as I worked through 35 odd jobs and attempts to start piano tuning businesses over the course of 32 years. I don't have a mental disability such as neurotic or psychotic or just plain stupid etc. I have no social center in my brain. Our brains are divided up into different areas, one of which handles social ability which includes casual conversation. That part of my brain doesn't function. There's a name for this but this also is none of your business. I am only responding, as usual, to wrong statements about me, and to do this I think I have to give out more information, all of which intrudes on my privacy. I think defending myself at all might even demonstrate a lack of social understanding on my part, but at age 57 I still don't know, I am always just guessing at what might be the right thing to do when interacting with others. This isn't made worse by living in the Philippines, just different. But I like it better here maybe because what I am like in person has often been mistaken for shyness. I am not shy but being considered shy in the Philippines is completely acceptable, except for someone who is aping the westerner on a career track. In the US, being shy makes you bully bait. I think it's all that hormone-fed beef we eat.

And IF you are or have been drawing illegal SSI benefits...

Case in point. I am here to defend myself against blatantly and grievously false accusations, and now that I've done that, the accusations keep coming, starting from malicious gossip, assumptions, misinformation, and misunderstandings and growing into wrongful insinuations and libel. I am helping you by giving you the facts. Because the owner of this forum doesn't want to get sued for allowing libel to take place in his establishment. It's actually against the rules of every forum on the internet to libel someone. You haven't libeled me yet but Howard has. Your insinuations about illegally receiving benefits are separated from being libelous only by careful wording on your part. Which makes them libelous in spirit.

So Luther, to clear this matter up for the record, have you ever drawn a Social Security Disability payment while you were living out of the country?

You are the one who loves to study the law. So get your butt to the social security website and you will learn that I can receive my benefits any place on earth. If I want, SSA will deposit directly to my Philippines bank. They have my address, I told them where I was going before I left the US and cleared everything. So are you actually interested in clearing up this matter? Prove it. Retract your insinuations as publicly as you extended them.

...so all this bluster about suing and owning somebody’s house for some perceived slander is just nonsense.

Let me clarify, in the wake of another possible insinuation, that I didn't threaten to sue my nephew. I told him that his behavior could get him sued by someone who was into suing people. He can pass on any kind of untrue, unverified trashtalk he wants, and I will never sue him for it. He is family, I have to let it slide to some extent. But not to the extent of tacitly allowing it by saying and doing absolutely nothing. What would you do it someone said ugly mean things about you on the internet? You'd be all over them. You might even think about suing them.

[Bob_S]

So get your butt to the social security website and you will learn that I can receive my benefits any place on earth.

Almost.  There are a few places off limits (such as N. Korea and Cuba), but for the most part that seems correct according the the SSA web site.

If I want, SSA will deposit directly to my Philippines bank.

Um, no, according the the SSA site.  There are certain countries that are approved for transfer but the Phils is not on that list.  But if they have a U.S. branch you use as your main bank, that could be a work-around.

Thanks for coming back to tell your side of the story.  And I hope your spleen feels better now that it has been thoroughly vented.

[Ray]

Almost.  There are a few places off limits (such as N. Korea and Cuba), but for the most part that seems correct according the the SSA web site.
Um, no, according the the SSA site.  There are certain countries that are approved for transfer but the Phils is not on that list.  But if they have a U.S. branch you use as your main bank, that could be a work-around.

 
Bob,
 
What you are reading on the SSA site is about SS Rretirement benefits.
 
SSI disability benefits is a seperate issue. I previously linked to the applicable SSA rule on non-eligibility for SSI benfits when you leave the country for 30 days or more.
 

Ray
 
 

[Luther]

Requests and demands to have this thread deleted are being ignored. I was even temporarily banned for reporting posts, for using a tool provided by the forum. I have sent the following letter to the person who I believe was the forum moderator last time I was active on the forum:

re: http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?topic=4857.msg55467#msg55467

...I am feeling very helpless here because I have been libeled on the forum in numerous posts within a single thread. Deleting a single thread would be easy and no one would miss the thread. This is the easy way to solve the problem and get me back off the forum where I want to be. When I demanded that this be done, I was banned for a day or two. That was the wrong move, as I have not lashed out maliciously or said anything insulting to anyone, I have not tried to get back at anyone. I am frantically trying to get this bad mistake corrected before any more damage is done to my reputation. Forget whether you like me or my attitude and do what's right as a human being. What if someone took a dislike to you and said these kinds of things about you? Has anyone on this forum ever heard of the Golden Rule? Do unto others...

I have an online business, I live a large part of my life online, my major life goals are being carried out via the internet, everything I do is riding on the internet and therefore this thread is a serious threat to my reputation, thus to my developing business and future income. I am generally known as Luther in real life as well as all over the internet, and Howard (who has never met me) is publicly making many false charges against me based on hearsay, third- or fourth-hand vile and wrong gossip. As an outsider here I am apparently being toyed with, my demand (yes, pushy me, I demanded) to have the thread deleted is being ignored, I was insulted by being banned, and "because you can," you or whoever is moderating the forum is going to leave this trash talk online to offend me and continue to hurt my reputation.

People tend to believe what they read in print, and Howard presents his assertions about me "with authority", in other words, he always sounds like he knows what he's talking about. I, on the other hand, go to extremes in my communications, always sound frantic, always say too much, and as a result I am not popular on this particular forum. This is not a reason to leave Howard's lies online. Just to watch me twitch.

I was surprised to find myself banned from the forum for using tools that are there. The "report this post" button is on every POST, and I was banned for reporting the same THREAD several times. I reported only the offending POSTS, and banning me because I used what the forum offered was insulting.

But the main point, and the only thing I care to pursue, is that the whole thread should just disappear. It is named after me (the nickname I use every day at home), contains my address (Howard has drawn the whole world a map to my house) and my wife's real name, real nickname and family name. What more inducement do you need to push the button, make the thread disappear, and dissolve this problem like it never existed? Am I being punished for being demanding and insistent? Why not take into account that I am right, I have been wronged by vicious and nasty gossip by someone who has never met me, I have every reason to be angry about it, and when the thread disappears, so do I.

I am a forum owner, I know you can delete the thread with a simple push of a button. It's my thread, because it is about me, it has my name on it. I say delete it. That is the easy way. There are other ways and I WILL GET THIS THREAD OFF THE FORUM NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES, so get it gone, do yourself a big favor. If any costs are incurred getting it done, the owner of this forum will pay them.

Thanks for your prompt attention to this matter.

Luther

[Luther]

from "Rules and Agreements": User Policies

International Relations strongly believes in the freedom of expression as long as legal or morally accepted standards of expression are not violated. In this website and through the sites that International Relations operates, we offer several services and products that may expand your communication with the general public.

We trust that you will use these facilities to promote the flowing exchange of information and exercise your freedom of expression in accordance with International Relations' Terms of Service Policy. User violation of this Policy may result among other things in the suspension or cancellation of the user's access to International Relations' services. International Relations reserves the right to remove any materials it becomes aware of that are, in our sole discretion, potentially illegal, could subject International Relations to liability, violate this Terms of Service Policy ("Policy") or otherwise inappropriate.

[Luther]

Here's a photo of my family and I. I've only been to the US once since moving here, I love the Philippines!

http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?action=gallery;sa=view;pic=345

[Ray]

 
 

 
 

[thekfc]

I do not want to get involve with what is going on but I have one observation that I would like to point out.

What all that have been said in this thread and the request for it to be deleted, why are you (now) posting a picture of you and your family (on an open / public forum) for everyone to see?

[Ray]

...why are you (now) posting a picture of you and your family (on an open / public forum) for everyone to see?

 

 
 

[Ray]

But the main point, and the only thing I care to pursue, is that the whole thread should just disappear. It is named after me (the nickname I use every day at home), contains my address (Howard has drawn the whole world a map to my house) and my wife's real name, real nickname and family name. What more inducement do you need to push the button, make the thread disappear, and dissolve this problem like it never existed?

Luther

 
Luther,
 
WTF are you talking about?
 
You think Howard 'outed' you by posting personal information here about your identity? What is this so-called map to your house and address that he posted in this thread? I guess I missed that one.
 
I guess your memory is pretty bad too, because it was actually YOU who posted that personal info on this forum.
 
Yes, YOU decided to use the handle "Luther" when you came first came here and you're still using it today, so why are you whining about the use of your "name" on this forum?
 
And yes it was YOU who posted your wife's name on the forum, and it was YOU who told us that your wife is related to Howard's wife.
 
And yes, it was YOU who posted the name of the baranggay (sitio) where the house is located, along with the name of the municipality wherein it resides.
 
And you posted personal info here about your financial situation (which you now claim is none of our business), and you also voluntarily provided details about your mental condition, including the fact that it causes you to think that people are out to get you, which likely explains most of the motive in your whining now.
 
Yes, all of that stuff is still here in the archives where YOU posted it if you don't believe me. You want the link?
 
Luther, nobody busted your balls when you posted all that personal stuff before and nobody is out to get you and ruin your life now. But your continued whining and revisiting of this long-forgotten thread, along with threats of legal action, is what, if anything, is making you look bad now. Do yourself a favor and drop it...
 
 
Ray
 
 
 

[Luther]

 

...why are you (now) posting a picture of you and your family (on an open / public forum) for everyone to see?

 The moderator, administrator, and forum owner are ignoring the forum rules and my letters to them by allowing the thread to stay up. I even got banned for a day or two for reporting posts that were purposely smearing me. It looks like the thread is here to stay. In that case, so am I. No one is taking my part so it's my responsibility, as long as I'm able to respond, to dilute the lies being publicly splashed all over this wall by presenting the facts. A bad impression is being perpetrated and I am trying to counter that impression, and a photo of myself and my family gives people a better idea of who is doing the talking and who is being damaged by this thread. Yes, Howard, you are damaging my wife and child and therefore your wife's family, by publishing slander about your wife's uncle.
 
 My life here in the Philippines has not been perfect, but Howard has never met me, has not visited his wife's family in the Phils in the 8 years I've lived here, and Gerlie left the Phils before I arrived. So she also has not been around me much except in passing, when vacationing here. She is possibly the source of all the rumors that Howard is repeating, and they both know I can't afford a lawsuit, so the smear campaign can go on with impunity.
 
 When I first lived here, Howard's father-in-law was set up to be my best friend because he is sensitive and educated and speaks unusually good English. I have since learned that he is somewhat aloof from the family, but that is common when someone is related only by marriage. He and I share several personality traits including the need to speak one's mind.
 
 I was using their computer to do my online business and banking once a week, and paying by bringing a roast chicken each time (lechon manok). Howard was paying for their dial-up connection, what a sweetheart. I think I was also paying 1000 pesos a month to reserve every Thursday, or something like that. Can't remember exactly but the chicken wasn't the extent of it, unfortunately. I ended up paying more or less with my life.
 
 Howard's father-in-law would regularly ask me for money, each time saying that his daughter Gerlie, Howard's wife, had sent him to me. He always paid me back, no problem, he is a very reliable true blue person. Also very shy, so it was hard for him to ask.
 
 Then something changed. He asked me for money a third time in a single month, and he had overcome his shyness! He was now "assuming the sale" and speaking with confidence, with the sure knowledge that my hand would leap to my wallet as always. And again, he said Gerlie had suggested that he come to me.
 
This time I was getting alarm bells. I didn't like to see him come to me, for money, the third time in one month, with confidence. In fact, he didn't know and I didn't tell him, but he was asking to borrow my last 1000 pesos. It appeared that Gerlie was the real perpetrator, from everything he had told me.
 
I had read in Culture Shock: Philippines that one does not confront people directly. In fact, people will say "yes", to an invitation for example, to be polite, but then not show up, because it is rude to say no. Also when asking for directions and in many other circumstances, I have found that Filipinos would rather make something up, tell you what you want to hear, anything but say no, or "I don't know". Gerlie's father is also the oldest person of our generation, married to the effective head of the family, my wife's oldest sibling. So I didn't say no, but I needed to. Remember that Gerlie's father is the only person I can talk to in detailed English, except for one brother-in-law who is always busy. Gerlie's father and I had hit it off well, and I was aware that he was a very sensitive person. I didn't know what to do, so I grumbled something about having to go to the atm, hoped he'd get the hint, and changed the subject. I was afraid that a straight-out "no" would embarrass him permanently, because I had noticed that he was a very emotionally sensitive person. But I was pissed. Hey guess what, I needed to do or say something so this would stop happening with such frequency. So I immediately got on the computer, and sent Howard an email asking him to talk with Gerlie, and try to get her to stop sending her father to me for money. I was not rude or demanding to Howard, and his response to me did not indicate any amount of disapproval whatsoever.
 
Well this PETTY situation ruined my life.
 
Or, I should say, Gerlie ruined my life for no reason except spite.
 
Howard said sure, no problem, I'll talk to her, but that night our cell phone rang. I said hello and Gerlie immediately started screaming and swearing at me. By the way, when we first met in person, Gerlie had introduced herself to me as "a Bi-otch", I guess that's urban pop trash talk for "don't mess with me". Odd since I always liked her and Howard and didn't know why she would introduce herself to me that way. I assumed that she was trying to ape the cynical modern American, since her whole life was about getting to America, that is how her parents raised her, to get a degree and go to America. Also, during our first few meetings, she confronted me about some comment I made about fat people, so I said, I don't care if you want to be fat, but it's not for me. Also, she said I had chosen a stupid name for my child. No other Filipina has been this confrontive with me, by a long shot. So while she was here I avoided her a little, though not conspicuously, since she seemed to be one of these people who spot me as bully bait, take a GLEEFUL dislike to me, and try to maintain this verbal sparring thing with me instead of just keeping distance and ignoring our differences. All in all, I'd say that America, not the Philippines, is the right place for someone with this kind of cynical streak and love of confrontation.
 
So here I am with a cell phone to my ear, and someone who has just learned all the bad American slang is screaming at me in foul language, but funny because it's such an extreme reaction to a petty circumstance. My wife can hear her screaming ten feet away, without the speakerphone on. I used the same technique that I use with telemarketers. Instead of hanging up, I quietly set the phone down and walked away. I let her scream for five or ten minutes and didn't hear a word she said. My wife thought this was hilarious! And let me assure you, my wife never takes my side. This was an exception, she told me to just forget about it. She would have had a similar personal turmoil if her oldest brother-in-law had come to her for money with such frequency.
 
Next time I saw Gerlie's father, he took me aside and tried to chew me out, accused me of "trying to drown him", tried to tell me how to speak English, so that was the end of that friendship for a long time since he shunned me for years. I am now "presumed guilty" of everything at all times. Gerlie knew how to set that up, had the access to the key family members who could do the detail work, and thereby used her clout with the family to get me shunned by several family members and pushed off into a corner, treated like an interloper. Except when someone needs money, they suddenly get more friendly. Or send their wife.
 
Now having said that, I will say this: I have never given up, never turned up my nose at this family, still treat all with respect. I try to base my behavior on what is right, not on the worst emotions that happen to exist in a situation.
 
So that's what is really going on here. A grudge long nursed by a virtual stranger, a collection of imagined injustices inflamed by zealous imagination, the physical need for a scapegoat because of being an aggressive person in a passive society, and poisonous lies passed on to a doting husband so he can spread the poison within his sphere also. Everyone who has read this thread either suspects that I am right (the things Howard said about me are 90% untrue) or they KNOW I am right.
 
Luther
 

[Luther]

Ray,

I'm here only to get this thread deleted, no other reason. The thread is certainly not long forgotten, www stands for WORLD WIDE web. It's clearcut libel and it has to go.

[thekfc]

Luther, please stop for a minute and think before you do any more posting.

According to your posts, one of the main reasons why you want this thread deleted is because (as per you) "false" personal info about you has been spread/put out in the open for everyone to read.

Now, you are doing the same thing that you accused Howard of doing?

You are giving out more personal info for the world to read and not just your info but info concerning/about Howard, his wife and her family. Instead of trying to extinguish the fire - you are throwing fuel on the fire.

What should be the next course of action concerning this thread? No, not for it to be deleted as you requested but for Howard or Gerlie to come and defend themselves.

[Ray]

Now, you are doing the same thing that you accused Howard of doing?

 
Yes, exactly.
 
But the real reason why Luther is gossiping like a girl and publicly insulting Howard's wife and family goes beyond petty revenge. He thinks this stupid ploy will get the thread deleted. And then he wonders why he has so many enemies?
 
Luther, acting like an a-hole on a public forum will do more damage to your reputation than anything anyone else says about you. Do yourself a favor and get some professional help...
 
I think this thread should stay up forever to show the world what kind of person you really are.
 
 
Ray
 

[bcc_1_2]

luther is a pretty common name. personal info would include your last name, phone number, email address, home address... possibly your hometown if it was population 50 people or something. If that kind of information is there I would think a forum mod would censor that tiny bit for you. If that info isn't out there you should be good to go.

[Luther]

Now, you are doing the same thing that you accused Howard of doing?

This thread was started by someone trying to be friendly: "Hey, what happened to Luther, we got along OK..."

Howard volunteered to step in and vilify me instead, and in fact extended an open invitation to anyone who wanted more "information" about me. I am not saying false things about Howard, I am correcting his statements. I have said nothing insulting about him, just spoke with authority on things I know about from personal experience, while he was speaking with assumed, arrogated authority on something he has no experience with, and that would be me, my wife, my life, my circumstances.

This thread is up to stay? Good. It's my thread now, it has my name on it, and I will continue posting till the thread disappears. You all can consider this thread my  assumed personal property, and I will do anything I want with it.

What should be the next course of action concerning this thread? No, not for it to be deleted as you requested but for Howard or Gerlie to come and defend themselves.

They have nothing to defend, because I have not attacked them. I hold no grudge for their wrong-headed attacks against me, and I'm willing to forget all and be friends. See how naive and harmless I am?

For those who stumble in, let me explain more background that might not be obvious. When Howard, Gerlie, and my fiancee encouraged me to join this forum in about 2005, I took it as a friendly gesture and joined. I was new to the internet, it was my first online group and as anyone can tell, I am naive and walk into things with an open heart, open mind, and open mouth. I even think my jokes are funny, and silly me, I think people are going to have a sense of humor resonating with my own. As soon as I let it slip that I was not a conservative Republican, I came under vicious and unrelenting attack by Bear, Ray and others. Howard stopped speaking to me, as he indicated above. From then on, anything I have had to say on any topic has not been considered on its merit, but automatically rejected because this is Ray's clique; if he says, "Luther is a creep," then Luther is a creep. The evidence is not a part of it; this is a matter of decree. Majority rules, and it will always rules against me here because people who think like me skedaddle out of here right quick, as I did many years ago. I only came back to defend myself against lies.

Ray is the heart and soul of this forum because he researches immigration law, so fills a need here and a lot of people would be lost without him. If not for this contribution, his belligerent, sneering attitude on every topic except for immigration law would have got him thrown off the forum without a backward glance many years ago. Almost everything he says to me reeks with, "C'mon, I dare ya...come and get me..." Well I happen to think that bullies are latent homosexuals, but that doesn't bother me, many of my friends are gay.

It's like the baboon pack, with the meanest, most aggressive male in charge and everyone else submissive to him. Males who won't fight him are marginalized, don't get to reproduce. In fact, the alpha male will mount the submissive males as a way of letting them know that they are part of the group, like the women.

In my opinion, the aggressors are committing mass suicide in this world, because the way they get their way by bullying everyone else is destroying the heart of human society. What's left after the final conflagration will either be a supersized baboon pack with one central government or a new way of life where baboon-like behavior will not be tolerated. The notion that bullies would ever be marginalized...well I can always hope!

Cheers, my brothers, welcome to my thread, make yourselves to home.

[Luther]

 RE: Howard's purposeful attempt to besmirch my reputation and hurt me, by combining true facts about who I am and where I live, with lies to make me look bad.
 
I don't blame anyone for not wanting to sift through Howard's lengthy posts to find the "map to my house" that I said he has drawn on the WWW (that means World Wide Web). However, anyone who did happen to be motivated to damage me or find me for any other reason, good or bad, can collect plenty of data from Howard's posts.
 
As Ray has helpfully pointed out, I gave out information about myself back in 2005 or 2006 when I was new here and didn't know anything about forums. I saw Howard using his real name and figured what the heck, I'm among friends here. It would take me time I don't have to go back through all our respective posts to figure out who was the first person to say this or that. I'm sure it would give everybody a good belly laugh to see me going to that much trouble, when I could more easily say that my "map to house" statement was colorful if not somewhat exaggerated. No doubt it was a toned-down version of what I actually wanted to say. I was on an UNPRECEDENTED adrenalin surge when I wrote my original responses to Howard in this thread, from 11 pm to 6 am. Apparently his brave Defendors have not spent ten seconds wondering what they would be going through if anyone had purposefully set out to destroy their reputation with lies on an internet forum. In 2009. And then cynically not told you about it, so the "info" has been online for almost four years, so anyone but I can read it and become "informed."
 
This "map to house" is a tangential topic being used by anonymous forum users to distract attention from the only reason I am here, and that is to get Howard's statements removed from the world wide web. Until that is done, I am here pro-actively performing damage control at a cost to myself that someone might have to reimburse me for someday. Never mind if I'm doing it all wrong, you can take this to the bank: I have officially changed my mind about not suing my so-called nephew. I just can't do it now. But he'd better go ahead and finish destroying me, because If I Ever Can, I am going to wipe that superior smirk off his face in a court of law. No libel judge on the face of the earth would take his side. I have a clearcut libel case and anyone who wants to take his side can join him in court too. I can subpoena the real identities of anyone who thinks it's cool to take the side of a slanderer. It won't happen right away, but when I can do it, I will do it.
 
By the way, I'm getting an ulcer over this, so you all can start counting medical costs too.
 
All so the Big H doesn't have to go to the forum owner with hat in hand and ask that the thread be removed?
 
I have a high profile on the internet and a big investment in my online persona. In spite of the fact that I am a long-term owner of a website and a forum owner, I don't mind everyone on earth knowing that I am some kind of off-center weirdo, that I don't fit in anywhere socially, etc. In spite of the brazen bully's assumptions, being an oddball doesn't negate my rights under the law. Ray's repeated jabs in that formerly soft spot are putting me to sleep. What I won't tolerate, because it would be stupid of me to take a soft stance on it, is people lieing about me online. Call me names, from this forum I expect it. Gang up on me, I expect that from Ray's henchmen. Ignore my logical and reasonable notions, requests, and demands, expected. Accept without question everything said in opposition to me, why not? Automatically side with the alpha dog, what harm could there be in that?
 
But lie about me with Howard's accustomed tone of authority, which people here accept without the slightest grain of salt? No. The most devious form of treachery is to start a problem and walk away from it, sitting at a distance laughing and not taking the slightest bit of responsibility. This is the act of a coward or a sociopath who lacks human emotion, so let Howard come here and explain which one of those things he is.
 
I have spent my life chipping away at something. For 34 years I have worked to establish something that could take off at any moment and do some good for me and my family. The internet is the ONLY tool I have, without it I will be an unfulfilled dreamer for the rest of my life. Anything done or said to threaten my online presence or my reputation is begging me to stand up and stand up for myself.
 
Insult me all you want, but don't stand next to someone who is telling lies about me, or I will point my finger at you and demand to know what motivates you to join in this feeding frenzy, because I have to. Is anyone else going to defend me? Then I'd better do it myself, don't you think?