TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my
local COSTCO buying a
large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the
Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me
asked if I had a
dog.
What
did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired
and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I
didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms..
I
told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my
story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped
off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit
us both.
I
thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack
he was laughing so
hard.
Costco won't
let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired
people. They have all the time in the world to think of
crazy things to say.
