New to site and looking for advice.

[evoltnvii]

Hi everyone my name is Dave and I'm new to the whole international dating thing. I live in southern cali so I actually have a lot of experience with asian girls but none that were really it for me. I have a really good filipina friend that suggested I try online dating for filipinas and see if I find a good girl. So I went to a free dating site and started looking. After a month or so I had found a very nice girl living in bulacan. I have weeded thru a hundred scammers and she has no red flags that I have found. She dosnt ever forget anything I say and I have seen her in a web cam everyday for 4 months. She has her own internet cafe and uses the pc when ever one is free to talk with me. So far she has let me video chat with 2 sisters a cousin a aunt her grandmother and her mother. She's cute but not overly attractive just girl next door looks. She has a teaching degree and is the oldest in the family. We are planning a trip in april for me to come out for 3 weeks and I'm bringing a friend with me. She had no issues with this and even suggested her sister come along to keep him company. So far she's great. I have made a point of getting her opinon on marriage children and other topics before putting in my 2 cents so I get honest answers. I'm really considering bringing her home if all goes well on the trip but I would like to hear what everyone here has to say as you all have volumes of more experience than me. Thanks in advance. 

[Jeff S]

It sounds like you found a nice girl there. The only advice I can give is to take your time. Make sure she's the right one for you. I submit that that can't be done on a two week vacation in an exotic land holding hands on the beach. It'll take more face time than that, IMO.

You do also realize you can't just meet her there and if you like her, just bring her home with you, right? You have to either get married and file for a spousal visa, or bring her here on a fiance visa good for only 90 days for you to get married or send her back home. Either will take 6 to 9 months to get done before she can walk up the entry ramp at LAX.

Welcome aboard. Good to have you here. If you have any questions, just ask away.

[Ray]

Welcome aboard Dave!

Dittos on what Jeff said.

Are you considering getting married on this trip??

Ray

[stevjulietb]

Dave, just continue on your present path, take your time and enjoy your trip.

Steveb

[evoltnvii]

no im not going to get married on the trip. what i meant by bring her home is start fiancee' visa process if i decide to ask her to marry.

[Bear]

Welcome Dave,

Seems you've a good plan and you working things out.  Does she know you are interested in marriage?  Have you talked about these issues - being married?  There are a lot of posts to newbies in the achieves on things to look for.  Look them over.  My only concern is your really moving fast but so did I.  If you have any concerns get them out now.

The Bear Family

[evoltnvii]

we have talked about marriage and everything that entials. at first she did not want to leave home but after we talked more she agreed if we had children it would be better in the united states. also i know its kind of fast but we both came into this looking for the same thing. find a good person that is looking for marriage and compatable. so far all is well and we are agreed that if the first meeting goes well we will start the K-1 process.

[jm21-2]

Based on what others on this board have experienced, common sense, and the new study that the mods of this site did, it seems like a good course to do at least two trips. Do one to get to know her in person, see if there's chemistry, etc. Knowing the in-person/real life details of her life as you perceive them and not how she explains them should allow you to have much more useful long-distance communications when you are back in the states. Then propose on a second or third trip.

Personally, I am planning my first trip to be 9-10 days or so (so I get two weekends) just to see if there's chemistry and all that. Then a longer vacation (2-3 weeks) to get to know her (if there was good chemistry on the first trip), then who knows. Don't get yourself into a deadline for marriage...the only deadline should be when you feel the decision is 100% right.

[Dave H]

we have talked about marriage and everything that entials. at first she did not want to leave home but after we talked more she agreed if we had children it would be better in the united states.

Hey Dave,

Welcome to the board! Nice name!  I agree with what the others have said. Your lady preferring to stay in the Philippines can be a positive sign. It appears that she is not just after a Green Card. My wife always wanted to stay in the Philippines as well. In fact, we will be moving there soon with our daughter and soon to be born son. I will be staying behind for a month or two to wrap things up here. There are also many positive things about living in the Philippines if you have a source of income. Good luck!

Dave