Traveling Dilemma....what would you do?

[Romello]

Hello Gentlemen of the Forum.  I've done it.  I've met a beautiful woman from the Philippines on Cherry blossoms three years ago .  We've corresponded week after week for the whole time.  I know this is a good woman and I know she is someone I want to be with.  I've been a player since I was 20.  Now at 40, I know a good woman when i come across one.  I'm going to PI in December.  She lives in Manila alone.  My dilemma is this, in wanting to keep with my budget, I have enough for a two week stay in Manila.  However, I want to be the man and at least meet the family in Balatan .  However this will add to the cost with flying to Legazpi Airport and taking a Jeepy for an hour's ride to her families home .  Staying at a hotel there for a few days before traveling back to Manila.  She had no information to give to me about the Hotels there because she has not been there in 6 years, and I can't find any on the web.  So I thought to bring my dilemma to the forum.  What would you do?

[Dave H]

Hi Romello,

Congratulations! Sometimes you can get 2 for 1 airfare specials. You might check to see if a ferry goes from Manila to Balatan (or nearby). Get a stateroom...probably cheaper than flying. Her family will probably offer to have you stay with them. If so, I would accept! It is a great way to get to know her family, enjoy Filipino hospitality, learn the culture, and save money. Some of the money you save should be used to buy food and necessities. Perhaps they need a gas burner (or new one) to cook on. The hotels in the provinces are usually much cheaper, but you will still save money by staying with them. The more time out of Manila, the more you will save!

Dave

[Romello]

Thanks Dave,

I was thinking of spending the whole two weeks in the Provence, but I don't know what's really out there to do.  She really has not visited her dad much.  Not since her mother past away.  It was I who made the suggestion to go to the Provence to see the family.  She is grateful for the attention I want to give to her family, but I think she really wanted to show me off to her cousin and aunt instead.  You know how women can be.  She love the idea of showing off her "Big Buffed American".

[Dave H]

Hey Romello,

I personally love the provinces and have little desire to stay in Manila, except for visiting some historic sites. You will definitely be 'Movie Star' material (especially in the provinces), so get ready for all of the attention! 

Dave

[Dave H]

Hey Romello,

I never been to the Bicol region, but my family will be spending the afternoon tomorrow with a friend from there. I will ask her questions. You would definately want to check out the Mt. Mayon volcano! I have heard that the beaches are very nice...a great place for your lady to show off her "Big Buffed American"! 

Dave

[Ray]

If she hasn’t been home in 6 years and doesn’t see her father much, then they probably aren’t that close.

You offered to go with her to her province, now let her decide. Just follow her lead on where to go. You may want to hand over the bulk of your money to her when you arrive so she can budget for your stay and handle all money transactions. Most Filipinas are very good with money and it’s a great way to build trust between you.

If the plane is beyond your budget, you can take a bus. I did a quickie check and it looks like about $15-20 one way from Manila to Naga City and about 8 hours. Eight hours on a bus may not sound like fun, but it really is, and it’s a great way to see the countryside (if you go during daylight) and bond with your girl.

If you were thinking of asking dad for permission to marry her, let her make that decision to ask him or not. If they aren’t very close for some reason, the oldest brother, if there is one (or sister), may a good alternative. Sometimes they are raised by other relatives or are closer to other family members, so again, just follow her lead.

Like Dave said, the way to see the real Philippines is by spending some time in the provinces and most everything is cheaper outside of Metro Manila. If you are invited to stay with her family, go ahead and accept at least for a couple of days. It’s a great adventure and you’ll learn a lot, I guarantee you.

Travel to the Philippines is usually most expensive in December, but Christmas time over there is awesome if that’s when you be there. The Christmas season actually runs from about September into January.

Have a great trip!

Ray

[Romello]

  Guys this advice is really great, and I could use it all.  You are right, she is not very close with her father.  I just get the feeling she wants to show me off, and I'm good with that, because that is what I plan to do when she gets here.   "I'm going to be like---IN YOUR FACE!!" .  No but really I've been really into this woman for the past three years (it will be 3 years on Dec 5th). 

I've been in the Marines, I've been a Deputy Sheriff, I've been with the good an the bad, and most certainly the ugly when it comes to women from all over the world.  I've been from Japan to the Middle East, from Germany to Great Britain, and from the US to South America and the Caribbean.  I've dated them married, single, in jail, in custody, and even in the hospital.  TRUST ME BROTHERS, I know a bad woman.

When I made up my mind to stop and settle down I was the proud father of only one child and he lives with me here in Houston.  Since he was 10 I have not had one date in my own home, just close friends who have sons.  He is now 16 and to be honest, I want more kids. 
 
Out of all the women I have known Francy, in the Philippines, is the best.  She is the most honest, nicest, and the most loving.  I've told every one I know what I am about to do.  I have heard it all, but for the most part, every one is on board.  I've even started the wedding plans, and get this, my ex wife and mother to my son is even happy.   I've even gotten two marriage proposals from women here in the US just to keep me from going.  .  I will not give up Francy, that is how sure I am about this woman.  Well that and the fact she looks like Angelina Jolie when she fixes herself up .  Yeah, I'm serious, she does.  I use to work with models on the runway .  I can tell how women look in and out of makeup.

Fellas, if you are having problems with Filipinas, do not despair.  There are some very good women there.  However, the key is they are looking for "REAL MEN" and not just the Buff Americans.  Yeah, I beat Welsy Snipes, and I got you Van Damne.  I'll think I'll settle at being a Hulk Holgan .  Sorry about that to you Young guys.  I don't know who is on TV today.

[Bear]

Romello,

I'm in Houston, East side near Pasadena.  What part are you in?

I'm not "buff" like I was in my twenties, actually quite far from it but Filipinas do like to "show off" their mates because its a type of status symbol like a cell phone.  I even pushed it for Honey when dating so that when she was with friends I'd call her so they'd all start their chikka.  I even called her at a party once and sang to her.  Her friends where radiating the envy green and it did wonders for Honey's confidence.

Small warning though, jealousy causes problems.  Her evil cousin thought she'd just show her face and I'd fall in love with her and dump Honey - even went so far as to tell Honey that to her face!?  My wife, not having much confidence, told me of the "jealousy" our relationship was causing and the fear she had that I'd do exactly what her cousin said.  So I made up my mind that if anyone out-and-out flirted with me I'd embarrass and humiliate them.  Honey really worried that I'd really do it and begged me not too.  So she told all her friends my attentions and no one did.  Her cousin tried a different track when she saw I had eyes only for Honey she did her best to split us up in the family.  Spread all kinds of lies and rumors that had our sponsor dropping out like rain drops.  I had to spend several days of my time there doing relationship repairs and stopping the rumors with the family and sponsors.  But after I the left the R.P. Honey was alone with them and they made her life a nighmare until she finally listened to me and moved into an apartment with a few close friends.  The next month she got her Visa.

Make sure you understand everything there is to know about her family problems.  With Filipinas this will be a deciding factor with her being a good or bad wife in her own mind and the attitude she approaches you and your marriage.  Don't force any issues here, if she says no then say "yes ma'am"  Seriously.  Unless your some sort of expert on her culture because he will obey you and it might cause even more problems.  Anything you intend to discuss with her father/brother/other family member, discuss it with her first.  I told Honey's father I intended to send her 10000p/mo ($200.00/mo).  I didn't know her only made about 4200p.  He quit his job the next day because his daughter was now rich.  Honey rarely ever took the money out of her account I had set up (I sent her a visa debit card)  I think twice in 50 weeks she used it all and twice not a penny and the rest of the time about $110-120/mo which included all her families bills and her and her brother's college.  Money causes problems.  Since you are engaged sending some money might be expected max $300 in Manila/Cebu and not more that $50 in the provinces; it could be devastating to the family.

I have lost of Filipino acquaintances on the North and northwest sides of town but not met many on the east if you need to develop a support base for her as well.  PM me if you have any questions.

The Bear Family

[Jeff S]

Hi Romello and welcome to the forum. I can't offer any advice about the PI, but plenty of guys here have lots of experience with Filipinas and their families. Best of luck on your trip.

- Jeff

[Romello]

Greetings to the Bear Family

A support base is exactly what I will need when she gets here, and all of you are now here by invited to the wedding to be taken place in July, If it's God's will.  As far as the jealousy part.  That is so funny you should mention that because she has told me this many times.  I am not allowed to come to the Philippines unless I call her first.  I am not allowed to surprise her.  She wants to meet me at the airport and she will not let me get anywhere close to Angeles City.  I've told here she has nothing to worry about, but hey, I like it when she is jealous.  Makes me feel she gives a hoot about me, if you know what I mean.   

     I do send her money every month.  She lives in Manila, alone and I send her money so that could join the gym.  She wanted to because she wants to work out like I do.  I have always told here, I really stay single because I could not find anyone who enjoyed the gym like I do.  So she not goes to the gym in Manila and I pick up the bill.  She has a job in Manila selling beauty products, but will take the time off for as long as I am there in PI. 

     I'm all for spending time with the family, but she has already told me will only spend about 2 days with them and then the rest of my trip will be spent with her.  I'm thinking now to spend the time near the volcano and not back in Manila.  Just as long as it's nice, have a nice night life so we can have some fun, and have something to do in the day light hours.
 

[Romello]

  thanks for the well wishes Jeff

[Dave H]

Hi Romello,

I spoke with my friends today. She is from Albay, quite close to the volcano. They had planned to move there next year, but after seeing the devastation from minor eruptions in 2006, her husband decided against it. The main things to do there are see the volcano, visit family, and enjoy the scenery...country and beaches. I also agree with Ray in that you offered, let her decide! If your fiancee wants to go there, you can go by airconditioned bus, as Ray mentioned. You can also rent a car in Manila but they told me that there was a clause in the contract against driving cars at least into Albay and any area around the volcano. I would personally take the bus and relax and not deal with the crazy drivers...except the one driving the bus! 

Dave

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJY1c3I0k-k&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5o2HLJxo_A&feature=related

[Dave H]

Video around Albay. I enjoyed the old Philippine song 'Sarung Banggi' performed reggae style by Mudflow (A Bicol group).
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGM5St9ZOyQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj8haa5prbc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xN4NEpQ_Lk

[Dave H]

A little trivia...Potenciano Gregorio, often referred to as Potenciano Gregorio, Sr. (May 19, 1880 to February 12, 1939) was a Bicolano musician. He was the composer of Sarung Banggi (One Evening), the most famous song in the Bikol language.

Dave

[Bear]

A support base is exactly what I will need when she gets here, and all of you are now here by invited to the wedding to be taken place in July, If it's God's will.  As far as the jealousy part.  That is so funny you should mention that because she has told me this many times.  I am not allowed to come to the Philippines unless I call her first.  I am not allowed to surprise her.  She wants to meet me at the airport and she will not let me get anywhere close to Angeles City.  I've told here she has nothing to worry about, but hey, I like it when she is jealous.  Makes me feel she gives a hoot about me, if you know what I mean.   

Surprise her anyway.  Seriously.

     I do send her money every month.  She lives in Manila, alone and I send her money so that could join the gym.  She wanted to because she wants to work out like I do.  I have always told here, I really stay single because I could not find anyone who enjoyed the gym like I do.  So she not goes to the gym in Manila and I pick up the bill.  She has a job in Manila selling beauty products, but will take the time off for as long as I am there in PI. 

Just out of curiosity what are you sending her monthly.  I'm sure there are gyms there but on both of my two trips there I didn't see one.  Gyms are like lingerie, most Filipinos can't see the purpose in them and consider them a big waste of money.

Not trying to scare you but I'm seeing a few red flags.  The Philippines are not like America, the reasons for doing things are very different that for doing them here.  Just trying to help you make sure this is the right thing for you.  If someone there told me not to come and surprise them and they were using money I sent them for body building when 40% of the people there are impoverished I'd really wonder.  Thats way, way off normal for the Philippines.  Look up the gym she says she's going to on the internet.

[Romello]

Greetings all,

     I've seen the first video Dave.  I was told by Francy that the trip would take 24 hours and it would be very uncomfortable.  Well, judging by the second video, I'll think about taking the plane.  The last time I was in Japan I was in a bus accident.  The bus rolled down a hill.  I hate any big vehicle that I am not in control over.  As for a plane...well I have no choice....I don't know how to fly a plane.  However, I would not drive a car in the Philippines.  So I guess I will see about the flight.  It's cool though.  I may only be about to stay a week, so my budget just increased. 

     I'm going to be starting a new career and planning with some friends on starting a business.  I want to tell my current job where to go, but I want that Christmas bonus before I do that.  Therefor I must be here for Christmas.  Nevertheless, a week in one woman's arms is just fine by me.  One woman's arms vs the hundreds I have had until now.  I would rather spend this week then live through the past 16 years.

Now, now Mr. Bear....I love the gym, I live the gym.  Francy only wants to have muscles to show to me.  I have always said..."I could not love a woman who does not love the things I love."  It is selfish, but it is me.  I send only 5000php a month to pay for Internet time, hair stylist, gym, phone cards, and whatever more she may want to do with it.  In the three years we have known each other, she has never asked for one cent.  I just started sending the money in August of this year.

     I've met Filipinos who would ask for money the first day we meet.  Francy always tells me the stories of women she knows that does this.  I trust Francy....I really do, I don't believe that my giving her money would change anything.  I just wish she take the money off the card as soon as I send it, but she holds on to it.  She will pay the gym and get some food, but for the most part, she doesn't spend much of it.  I like it when a woman goes to the stylist, but it is a trial to get her to go.  However, she does and I like the outcome.

[Dave H]

 
I love the gym, I live the gym. 

Hey Romello,

I envy your love of the gym! Your dedication certainly shows! I need to get motivated and back there. 

Gyms are becoming quite popular and 'social' for ladies in Philippines, though few are able to afford them. Many gyms have badminton courts which are very popular. We were asked by a gay relative to ship a couple rackets from the US. It turns out it is much easier to find and cheaper to buy better quality rackets over there. Those Philippines gyms just might be a little too dangerous for straight guys!

Dave

[Romello]

I have met two Filipino Body Builders living in Manila while chatting on line.  I could not tell you if they are gay or not.  That is a big stereotype, "Body Builders are gay." 


Trust me, I can't play basketball to save my life, I hate watching sports, and I've never played football.  

It turns out getting supplements is much harder over there then it is here.  Therefor they train natural.  They also train in martial arts, so strength is popular and the gyms are being used.  They cost 1000php per month to join.

[Bear]

Well I glad you trust her but I had to point these things out.  I've seen guys crash and burn hard because they assumed that things were the same between our cultures and the people there think the same as they do.  When in fact they were being used.  The Filipinos have a term for it (in the achieves from some of my posts) but it basically means "you didn't ask, so I didn't tell, so its your fault", similar to the "whatever" term our teens use.  They also seem to have a vengeful attitude towards wimps and pretty much believe it if happened to you its your fault and there right and obligation to benefit from your stupidity because they in turn are needy and deserving and you're just an wealthy idiot not deserving of your wealth because you give it away.

I have had several friends/acquaintances who have literally sent thousands per month to these girls to find out they were married there, or had a bf waiting on them here or left them as soon as they got here or when he got there it was a guy or someone was using there picture/info and writing for them, etc., etc., etc.  Just watching out for you.

But since you know her and trust her its that's great.  Looking forward to meeting.

I used to body build in my early twenties.  Really blew it bad because the gym I used (the old Nautilus System) didn't provide instruction/instructors.  Ended up I over did it and I damaged my neck somehow that still give me problems and put stretch marks on my arms and enter thighs.  Really took the steam out of my desire and effort and I gave it up.

The Bear Family

[Romello]

During my time in the Marines, I have had 5 friends to marry Filipinas.  Three black and two white, young men in their 20's.  Today they would all be in their 40's and to my surprise...they are still married.  Since the Marines, I've met three other men who also married Filipinas.  One, his wife past away some time ago and he chose not to remarry.  He is now raising their daughter in San Antonio.  The other guy lives in Memphis with his wife and now four kids.   

Now there are some bad apples over there.  These are the ones you see.  The ones you don't see are the ones you should be looking for.  Francy found me, not the other way around.  All the woman I went for asked for cash up front, wanted to talk about sex, so on and so on. 

With my past, I wanted to see if I was getting a good woman or a bad woman.  Filipinas are not as "freaky" as many would want to believe.  The Good ones are not.  You pretty much will have to teach them everything, but they are the "good" ones.  I would ask a question, "Would you take me to Angeles City?" If I get a yes, then I put them in the "not good" pile.  Francy, threaten to cut the family jewels off if I even think about going to Angeles City.  Well, me...I love feisty women. 

[Dave H]

Hi Romello,

It sounds like you know what to look for in a Filipina. Francy sounds like a great lady! Unfortunately, a few bad apples tend to give the good ladies a bad rap.

I haven't heard of any gay Filipino Body Builders. Gays over there are usually 'full blown' (pun intended), all out, and very open about their sexuality. You may have to stay in the weight room and away from the badminton courts.  It is probably a good idea to bring your own supplements...even if available in the Philippines, it won't be the same quality and probably made somewhere in Asia. US brand names are usually inferior over there, unless 'imported' from the US which makes them much more expensive.

Dave

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5pgSTnVKkE&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=gay+filipino&um=1&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&

[Jeff S]

Hey Dave: I found out you've been hitting the gym lately too:

[Romello]

If I knew what Stalone was using....I would have it too.  I was at the gym yesterday, but I didn't say long.  I had to come home to do Dad things since my son thinks it ok to fail in school work. .  With this problem taking care of I can get back to work. 

I would never take supplement to the Philippines.  I'm not going to play games with customs.  I've heard they would not let a Chinese couple take peanut butter back to China.

[Dave H]

I would never take supplement to the Philippines.  I'm not going to play games with customs.  I've heard they would not let a Chinese couple take peanut butter back to China.

Hey Romello,

China just wants to make sure you get your fair share of melamine by eating the 'People's Peanut Butter.' The Philippines is no where near as strict as communist China or the US for that matter...I have often taken jars of homemade peanut butter into the US.  I routinely bring into the Philippines my meds, supplements, nonprescription meds and tons of chocolate.  To avoid any 'potential problems,' I would have any supplements  in the original container, unopened would be preferred. At most, they might take it from you for their own use.  Singapore is another story altogether...I don't think I would even bring in a tube of toothpaste for fear of being accused of being a drug smuggler. 

Dave

"YUM YUM...Go ahead eat Chairman Mao Peanut Butter it sooo good for you!

[Dave H]

Hey Dave: I found out you've been hitting the gym lately too:

Hey Jeff,

  How much did you pay for those spy photos? Here's a free one.

Dambo