1st post newbie

[dominick]

Hello. I am new to this site, and I have been trying to read through a lot of the stuff on the Latin side. I have visited Colombia 3 times now since November 2007. All because of one girl who I met on my first trip down there through LLM. A guy there told me about this forum, so I am checking it out. It's been very rewarding, but still very confusing at the same time. Me and my Novia's communication just is no where near as easy as an AW, but I think she is very special. It just takes a long time to really understand things because I do not like many assumptions. A lot of American guys I met either seem to just date and date or rush into doing paperwork. I don't fit either category, because for me love takes time. Well that's my story. Greeting to all and best of luck to all in search of love, and congratulations to those who have found what they are looking for!

[sean126]

Welcome to the site.  We are happy you joined us.  Feel free to jump into the conversations. 

Your doing a very, very smart thing by not rushing with your girlfriend.  Expensive, but smart.  Might I suggest you sending her to an English school at some point.  We have guys with women from all over Colombia who could help you find one, when the time comes.  Meeting her halfway by you learning spanish is a good idea also. 

We hope you have fun here.

sean126
moderator

[raycjs]

Dominick

Welcome to the forum sean126 is correct try and send her to English school and while she is at school you should learn Spanish this way you are both learning to speak  each others language. The pace you take is total up to you and you will have many different types of opinions on this board about that subject.... I wish you the best of luck

Ray

[dominick]

I have improved my Spanish quite a bit. I have learned that I am not a good self studier. All my books collect dust despite the best of intentions, but put me in a classroom, and I get competitive. I have not yet signed up for SPanish two at my local community college but need to. As for her, I did not know there has been a debate, but I have helped her with some school and even seen her books and workbooks on my last trip down there. AFter 3 months, I am still a bit ahead of her and she is shy to use much english, because I make great efforts to talk and write in Spanish. She is much more quiet than me, and I am learning I have to be very direct to get a direct answer. Like I said there is a new learning curve, but you are right, it is an expensive route. But hey, they say divorse in expensive too, and I sure do not want to ever go through that expense, fincancially or emotionally.

[sean126]

I'd pay attention to her progress.  If your footing the bill for the school, theres no reason in the world why she shouldn't be improving each week.  If she's not, then it's a waste of your money and you may want to rethink your commitment to her.

It wouldn't be unreasonable to lay down some rules.  She talks in English and you talk in Spanish, most of the time.  While I was learning, I'd have a book open in front of me to find words I knew I was going to use in my conversation.

[dominick]

It is really hard for me to measure progress. She writes in Spanish with a bit more English. I always write in SPanish and ENglish with the help of google translate. I usually have a few sentences just in spanish, like my greetings and initial thoughts and also my sign-offs.  There was also a signifigant life event that negatively affected progress. That sure made it MUCH harder to measure. As for ground rules, I can't say that there are any. I pay $150 a month for this, but wonder if it would be better to just pay the $495 USD for Rosetta Stone and be done with it. Because my $150 is worth less now than in December.  What do you think?

[sean126]

My own opinion is that I saw much more rapid progress when she was going to class.  She went about 2 or 3 times a week.  My wife is a very driven person, which drives me crazy at times...but helped in this instance.  When she arrived here two years ago, she would use the Rosetta Stone quite a bit...but as you say, some are more "in class" type people rather than studying on their own.  Nothing wrong with that...but if she's like you and lets it slide because she can really study on her own, you may waste money on the software.

If she's going to school about  2 or 3 times a week and is really honestly trying...you should see a big improvement in a month or so, especially if you talk every night or every other night.  I guess it all boils down to how driven she is.  If it's just a hobby, it won't mean much to her because it's free (for her).  However, you should take this into consideration because she knows your the one paying for it.  I'm not trying to put thoughts in your head....just giving you something to think about just in case.  Doesn't mean she don't love or care about you.

The Rosetta Stone is good, but the school my wife went to was pretty good.  I thought it was much better.  She went to Berlitz in Barranquilla.

[utopiacowboy]

I've asked before but no one has ever replied. How many couples actually communicate in both languages? Or start in one and switch to the other after a couple of years. My wife and I have spoken nothing but Spanish for our entire relationship which is about 5 years now. Be careful what language you start with.

[Jeff S]

My wife and I do. We switch back and forth. When we started, she knew almost no English so communicated mostly in Japanese. But she's progressed faster than I - as expected since we live in the US.

- Jeff

[sean126]

My wife has been on me about improving my spanish, so we are starting to talk in each other's language more and more.  She will talk in english and I will talk in spanish.  With my stuttering problem, I can barely speak one language...at least now I'm a bilingual stutter-er.  LOLOL 

[Researcher]

I've asked before but no one has ever replied. How many couples actually communicate in both languages? Or start in one and switch to the other after a couple of years. My wife and I have spoken nothing but Spanish for our entire relationship which is about 5 years now. Be careful what language you start with.

         
                   Hi UC, my wife and I speak in both languages.We started out in Spanish but she got really driven to learn English.I found out later that she knew alot more English than I thought she did.She was just shy about using it.

                 

[utopiacowboy]

Thanks for the replies guys. I have to say that I am surprised that there are people who have managed to switch and couples who use both languages. I guess I should make the effort to speak English but it's just a big hassle now. So much easier to continue in Spanish. Every so often I vow to start speaking English and it usually lasts anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before I break down and go back to Spanish.

[Jeff S]

It'll change over time. Eventually your wife will pick up more and more English. We started out speaking mostly Japanese, but now speak mostly English. It's nice to be able to have sidebars no one else understands.

[dominick]

Well because we are both learning it switches a lot for me. If she doesn't understand my Spanish I try English. Her English is better than she lets on, because it seems like they are embarrassed to speak bad English, especially if they are around others who know a lot of english. She understands English much better than she speaks it. I am the opposite and I speak Spanish, much better than I can comprehend what someone else is saying.

[Jeff S]

I think that's just embarrassment. My wife had the worst time using English in public at first. She's sit and stare at waiters when they'd ask if she wanted anything else, then as soon as they'd leave, she'd ask me to ask the waiter for some ketchup or something. It was really annoying. I finally pinned her down and she told me that it's very cute if a foreigner uses Japanese poorly in Japan (or Spanish in LA) but if a foreigner messes up English in America, they're looked at with disdain. It's all perception.

After this she made a friends with the wife of a business executive transfered to the US for a couple years who was extremely bold and barely spoke any English. When she saw how easily her friend used her very poor English to get what she wanted, she started becoming a lot less nervous about using English in public.