Opinions on my trip/thought process please?

[zoomastermo]

Alrighty then.  Let me start with the basics.  I'm 38, 5'10" and weigh 185 lbs.  Not skinny, not fat.  I have not had any problems dating AW of a wide age bracket.  Well, that's not completely true, or else I wouldn't be here.  Going out with them has not been an issue, the insanity I've found has.  I am, unfortunately, a magnet for women that, well, somewhat scare most of the general population.  I've been married twice (9 1/2 yrs the first time, 6 yrs the second) and have been uncerimonially tossed to the side both times.  After reading up on the culture of LW I decided to go that route.  Things that impressed/stood out to me were:  more traditional values, passionate, attractive, appreciative, as well as more that I won't go into detail.  All things that I have missed in my life. 

So, here's my trip plan (somehow the word 'plan' just doesn't sound right, it sounds more like something covert, but it's the only word that is currently coming to mind).  I beginning/attempting to make contact with a few women in Cali (my destination.  i'll be staying at CaliCharm from the 21st to the 29th), then when I get there meet and go out with just a few women (i'm shooting for no more than 3).  While I know that isn't a huge number, it allows for more time to be spent with each one.  Quality over quantity.  I'm a bit of a people-watcher, so hopefully that will serve me well.  I would love to be down there longer, but this is just my first trip and, unfortunately, I do have to go back to work.  Got to make sure of that, since it's financing my trips!    

So, any thoughts?  All are welcome (flashback to the movie 'Poltergeist'!).  Oh, and another question.  I have a rather, uh, shall we say 'offbeat' sense of humor.  So far I haven't covered any of that in my Spanish lessons, but I know that it will come out at some point.  How does humor relate to their culture?  Maybe this is a strange question, but I have been accused of overanalyzing things, so perhaps this is just a wandering thread in my mind that I don't need there.

Thanks in advance and I'll be intrigued to hear what you all think!

zoomastermo

[utopiacowboy]

The only tip that I can offer in the way of humor is they are not fond of sarcasm.

[michaelb]

Rest assured, there are plenty of crazy women liberally scattered through out Latin America also. Speaking a language other than English does not guarantee a person's sanity. (Hey, I'm just saying, since you mentioned that is the kind of woman you usually attract.)

[fathertime]

So, here's my trip plan (somehow the word 'plan' just doesn't sound right, it sounds more like something covert, but it's the only word that is currently coming to mind).  I beginning/attempting to make contact with a few women in Cali (my destination.  i'll be staying at CaliCharm from the 21st to the 29th), then when I get there meet and go out with just a few women (i'm shooting for no more than 3).  While I know that isn't a huge number, it allows for more time to be spent with each one.  Quality over quantity.

Hey Zoomaster,  I think "Visiting" with 3 women is not enough for a first trip, IMHO!  You may find that 1-2 flakes out, or you may find out that there is zero "chemistry" after 10 minutes with 1 or 2 of them.  If that occurs you could be stuck with nothing but your hand!  I realize you could get very lucky and 1 of those 3 women could be "Mrs Zoomaster" but I still would plan on meeting more than 3. You may also consider writing/emailing in advance to a few women and seeing what comes of that.  You said you are going from the 21st-29th, but of what month?

, and another question.  I have a rather, uh, shall we say 'offbeat' sense of humor.  So far I haven't covered any of that in my Spanish lessons, but I know that it will come out at some point.  How does humor relate to their culture?

Common language often allows humor to come out.  I enjoy being awful silly with the ladies sometimes involving language & sometimes not.  Clearly it depends on the individual woman if humor is to go over well.  If you like to be humorous, just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.  My woman can't stop giggling, when we are together and she seems to like the humor more than almost anything else about me (except for my body, face, intelligence, status, etc..)     All in all, if you are a humorous person, that bodes well for you, so use it!

So, any thoughts?  All are welcome (flashback to the movie 'Poltergeist'

In closing I would like to say, "This house is clean"

Fathertime!

[bp]

Zoomaster,

I'm a sociologist doing research on cross-national relationships. While I can't speak to this particular situation (yet), I certainly can speak to dating in general (which is a lot of my other research). The biggest tip I could offer is that Father Time is right, three is just not that much, especially if you're going to be there for more than a week. It doesn't matter what country you're in, dating is a numbers game. 90%+ of the women out there probably aren't going to be someone you want to take past the first date (and vice versa). In fact, there are some people (though not all) that you'll just know which way you want to go within five minutes. If you're there for 8 days, I'd set up 8 dates. Then, if you want to follow up, you can do a lunch date on a subsequent day.

I'm a bit of a people-watcher, so hopefully that will serve me well.

Not really. "People watcher" does not equate to "people dater". Furthermore, the places where it's appropriate to people watch, as opposed to meet people are usually pretty different.

The only tip that I can offer in the way of humor is they are not fond of sarcasm.

UC, I'm glad you mentioned that. Sarcasm is one of my specialties, but I'll make sure to take it off the menu when I go to SA. 

[soltero]

Since this is your first trip, going to see 3 women would be a mistake and one commonly made by people that figure they have to show immediate results. You should be meeting as many women as possible so that you can get a feel for who may best work with you. You have no idea what quality is yet, so you will need quantity to figure that out. Also, meeting more women since you will be there a short time will give you more insight into the personalities versus culture conundrum newbies tend to debate on.

If you have an offbeat sense of humor, you need to leave it at home until you learn the language. Humor is the most difficult thing to convey in a different language (unless you are a mime or a prop guy). As UC pointed out, sarcasm, which some people find funny, does not go over well at all in SA. The petty things we might gripe about will look very off putting to many Colombians.

Lastly, if you are highly analytical, you will appear strange. Colombians think from day to day and if you find one that thinks out as far as next week you are fortunate. They do not waste much time contemplating stuff nor planning. Good luck!

[sean126]

zoomastermo,

I'm quite sure your magnetism will follow you were ever you go until you first get your self straightened out.  If your attracting nutts here, then you will attract them anywhere you go.  The thing is....you don't think they're nutts at the time or else you wouldn't have married them or dated them in the first place.  At least I hope not.  It's not the women, dude...it's you.  Until you get your head straight and start to make different choices and decisions, as far as relationships are concerned...your going to keep repeating the same mistakes with the same types of women.  It took me about 3 to 4 years of being alone and not dating anyone.  It could take other people more or less time...but you owe it to yourself and anyone you date to get that part of your life straightened out first.  I mean...it's not like you can tell her to get out after she's only been here a few months or so.  That would be cold blooded.  If anything, you have a bigger reason now to get your head right if you plan on uprooting a woman from her country and bringing her to another planet, so to speak.

Researching and reading up on the culture, language, social issues, ect...in another country is all well and good...but get the important stuff done first.  If the women are insane, then how much more insane are you for dating them or marrying them in the first place?

I agree with the rest of the guys...3 women is a big gamble.  I'd line up at least 10 if your going to be there for a week or more.   

[daytrader]

Going out with them has not been an issue, the insanity I've found has.  I am, unfortunately, a magnet for women that, well, somewhat scare most of the general population. 

 i'll be staying at CaliCharm from the 21st to the 29th), then when I get there meet and go out with just a few women (i'm shooting for no more than 3).  While I know that isn't a huge number, it allows for more time to be spent with each one.  Quality over quantity.  I'm a bit of a people-watcher, so hopefully that will serve me well.

 Maybe this is a strange question, but I have been accused of overanalyzing things, so perhaps this is just a wandering thread in my mind that I don't need there.
zoomastermo

--- it is realistic to focus on 3 women during the week that you are down there...try to get 3 dates (over 3 different days) of the women that really interest you.  By the 3rd date you will have a good indication of the possibilities.  Also, finding a woman that has a computer, high speed internet is helpful, that way communication can be often and fruitful (yahoo or skype chat/voice/webcam).  I am also a IT person, and I want a woman that has access to technology to facilitate communication while I am away.  I met as many as ten women a day when at an agency in Cali then focused on who I was interested in the rest of the week. 

-- staying at CaliCharm there will be at least 3 walkins every day, so you should meet each of them, that's at least 24 new women + the ones that you find interesting at the website.   Walter (who owns the agency) will give you good tips.  When meeting a woman, don't be shy about asking if they have a 'sister'.....ask them in the initial meeting to tell you about their family members that live nearby....it doubles your networking!  Check out the large supermarkets in Cali to see a good cross section of women, their habits and culture just for fun and relaxation. 

-- if you are a people watcher you will enjoy your trip to Cali...just relax and have a good time.  Ask Walter about customs among the latinas, a kiss on their cheek (at the initial greeting or before parting) is normal if there is any type of chemistry between the two of you. 

-- being a gentleman will score you mucho points, don't be a fool, don't flash money and don't give loans to any woman (there are many sob stories, you are not American Foreign Aid).  don't talk about your wealth, what you own or brag...focus on what you want in a woman and what her expectations are and why she is motivated to meet an American.  Bring photos of your life, relatives, recent vacations, home & automobile you drive to give them a frame of reference.  Ask a few leading questions to find out where she is emotionally and what her long term goals are. 

-- I met a guy on my second trip to Cali that did overanalyze situations...he had no clue how he was being played in a relationship.  He was a computer geek.  Hopefully you are not myopic or too geekish....if so, you'll likely waste your trip(s) and several thousand dollars. 

-- analyze why your past relationships have failed, and what you are going to do to avoid making future mistakes.  If you can't honestly do this, don't go down there, IMO. 

Enjoy your first trip, get your feet wet and takes notes for your second trip.  Have fun & good luck! Knowing some spanish is absolutely huge!  Have some phrases down pat and have a crib sheet of frequent phrases you will use - a good woman will see that you are trying and might be motivated to chase you.  Having them chase you is always the best of both worlds, IMO. 


DayTrader

[zoomastermo]

Wow!  I am very impressed with the feedback I've gotten. 

Utopiacowboy, thanks for the tip.  I'm rather adept with sarcasm, so that part is going to have to be left back in the states.  You may have saved my posterior with that one!

Fathertime, as the first one to comment that 3 is not a large enough number I thank you first.  Wow, that was ever so creative!  As far as the hand goes, I have two of them so I'm set with that!    However, you and others make a fine point.  I am going in March (neglected to mention the month), and I've begun the writing/emailing stage.  Interestingly enough, there hasn't been much response from the ladies at Calicharm to this point.  I will have to broaden my circle now.  Also, I neglected to mention that I'm staying rather realistic (IMO) with my search in terms of age.  I'm trying to work with an age parameter of 28 to 42. 

bp, thanks to you as well for commenting about the numbers.  As far as people-watching goes, I should mention that I notice tell-tale signs individually as well.  I'm more adept at watching others interract rather than when they interract with me.  I think personal thoughts get in the way there.

soltero, excellent insight!  My humor goes well beyond sarcasm, however I can reign it in without much difficulty.  In addition, your comment about the 'personalities vs. culture' is wonderful.  A big thank you here.

daytrader, I can't even begin to thank you for your comments.  I don't overanalyze as much as I used to, which has actually helped me out in the dating world.  I haven't made the same mistakes as in the past, well, not all of them, and the ones I have are magnified to such a degree that the lesson from it is learned.  My main focus is to go and have a fun time, and the more women I meet (as suggested by all of you) will only further that cause. 

sean126, I saved your comments for last as they were the most difficult to respond to.  First, I appreciate the meaning and intent of your comments.  From all the comments I've read on the boards you are a very sincere person.  However, in this instance your comments are, well, a bit overzealous.  No offense, and the intention is good, but harsh is the word that comes to mind.  Yes, I've made some bad choices in life and relationships, and like anyone else I have my eccentricities.  However, without truly knowing me or the women that I've spoken about your words are a bit off.  And, if I were to take the view that women are insane (which, to a degree I believe we all are, in our own way) then I wouldn't date or marry.  I rather think we all look for the good insanity that fits each of our personalities.  Actually, it is because I have worked at and gotten my head on straight (well, pretty close.  I can still see a little farther to the side than I'd like!  ) that I can now spot the insanity, or even potential signs of it that I watch for.  Interestingly, I have a friend (female, just a friend) that has had the same kind of experiences with men.  We have helped each other out greatly with our personal experiences and insight into each other.   Some time I'll just have to share some of my experiences with you.  I'll be nice and make sure it isn't in the middle of the night, with a full moon, on a Friday the 13th or such!     I do appreciate your sincerity and concern not just for me but for any woman I meet.  Thank you.

A big thanks to everyone!

[sean126]

zoomastermo,

I've never been one to sugar coat anything.   I'm blunt most of the time, but well meaning.  Most appreciate it, while many do not.  Some just get severely irritated that they have to look in the mirror instead of passing the fault on to something or someone else.  Hey, I'm the same way at times if I don't agree or don't want to hear something. 

If you look at your own comments at the start of this and then look at my response....One doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out.  I just went by what you said. 

Going out with them has not been an issue, the insanity I've found has.  I am, unfortunately, a magnet for women that, well, somewhat scare most of the general population.  I've been married twice (9 1/2 yrs the first time, 6 yrs the second) and have been uncerimonially tossed to the side both times.

I never said "women" are insane...I said "if the women are insane", meaning the women you've dated or married.   I was going by your exact words...."the insanity I've found has" and " I am, unfortunately, a magnet for women that, well, somewhat scare most of the general population."  Which I took as you thought these women that you dated were acting insane.  At least the way you phrased it...that's what it sounds like to me.  If you meant something totally different by your statements, then I didn't catch it.   

At the risk of sounding arrogant.....I've rarely, extremely rarely, been off at analyzing people.  Of course the person who is being analyzed would disagree....but the others around them, 99% of the time tell me I'm spot on.  Only once has someone admitted I was right (after they got done screaming at me).  I don't see what's harsh about telling someone the truth without blowing smoke up their butt.  It's not like I was calling you names and brow beating you.  I guess I'm an acquired taste.  LOL  
It wasn't my intentions to get you offended or upset by my opinion.

I'm glad you took what ever time you felt like you needed to change your judgments and thinking about women. 
People can say what they want about me, but I don't think I could ever be accused of beating around the bush or blowing smoke up someone's butt with advice or opinions. 

[zoomastermo]

sean126,
There is something I say a lot.  "It's all good".  My response was my way of saying that.  Yeah, your comment irritated me.  I will go on record, without screaming at you (unless you're more comfortable with that.  then i should warn you, i'm a smoker so i won't be able to scream for very long  ) that you were on with most of your comment.  I admitted that before, and I'll do it again.  Like I said, however, there are some special cases that make my statement different.  Okay, I didn't phrase it like that but the gist was there.  And this statement was not made just by myself.  A number of individuals, including my sister (who is at least as blunt as you.  plus, she's my sister so she knows i love her no matter what she says.  and, boy, does she use that to her advantage!    have stated that I have some strange magnetic power.  Perhaps I just have bad pheromones.  Who knows?  I am a descendent of Sarah Winchester, if that tells you anything. 

And, for the record, I'd rather get a brow-beating than have smoke blown up my butt any day!  If it came to a choice, I might even say 'thank you, may i have another'.  Yup, I think the advice about leaving the sarcasm behind was great. 

So, in conclusion, "It's all good!"  Be blunt, more people (myself included) can use it.  And don't feel like you have to be defensive about it.  People will either take it and listen, or get all upset and miss out on any advice that could help them.  People will be people.  I too am an aquired taste, so I understand you there. 

Thank you for caring enough to reply.  It says a lot about you.  Now before we all start singing 'kumbaya', I'm out of here.  I have a zoo to run!

zoomastermo

[sean126]

roflmaoooo.

OK dude
 
My magnetic power is...I seem to draw p*ssed off people around me.  It can't be me and my gentle personality!!  LOLOLOLOLOLOL 

[zoomastermo]

LMAO!!!

Bravo!  Perhaps I should call you 'Gentle Sean'?  No bear hugs, however!    
Well, I'm not p*ssed off, but I think you're okay.  Make it past the lightning round, where the questions get tougher and you have less time to answer, and you might make it to 'Groovy'.  Sorry, but I openly confess that 'Army of Darkness' is my all-time favorite movie. 

[fathertime]

Fathertime, as the first one to comment that 3 is not a large enough number I thank you first.  Wow, that was ever so creative!  As far as the hand goes, I have two of them so I'm set with that!    However, you and others make a fine point.  I am going in March (neglected to mention the month), and I've begun the writing/emailing stage.  Interestingly enough, there hasn't been much response from the ladies at Calicharm to this point.  I will have to broaden my circle now.  Also, I neglected to mention that I'm staying rather realistic (IMO) with my search in terms of age.  I'm trying to work with an age parameter of 28 to 42

Ok, arriving in March...you have plenty of time to do footwork in regards to emailing, sounds like you are doing the right thing.  Your age bracket seems very reasonable.  I am surprised their hasn't been a big response but it could be the time of the year or maybe you need a better photo to share with the ladies!   When I was staying at Cali Charm, there was one guy who really was seeing a lot of women from the  hi5 website.  He seemed to be doing pretty good, and I think it is a reasonable and inexpensive option as well.  He had been writing to many women over a period of months, so you still have time to add that to your plate as well if you want additional options.  Hell, the first trip down to Colombia is just about learning and getting your feet wet, although you never know.  Good old Montrealer found his woman after the first trip...and the Cowboy did too. 


Fathertime!

[catz]

My magnetic power is...I seem to draw p*ssed off people around me.  It can't be me and my gentle personality!!

Sean, Sean, Sean... <shaking head>

[daytrader]

roflmaoooo.

OK dude
 
My magnetic power is...I seem to draw p*ssed off people around me.  It can't be me and my gentle personality!!  LOLOLOLOLOLOL 

DICTIONARY.COM
WordNet - definition of moderator

noun
1.    any substance used to slow down neutrons in nuclear reactors
2.    in the Presbyterian church, the officer who presides over a synod or general assembly
3.    someone who presides over a forum or debate
4.    someone who mediates disputes and attempts to avoid violence


yeah...Sean sets the pace in being a Global Moderator...He's living proof of definition 4.........It's Christmas & soon a New Year Sean, go easy on the new posters in 2008, ok? 

DayTrader

[michaelb]

Sean's a Presbyterian church officer? Oh, never mind, that's #2 and you said 4. 

[Calipro]

So, here's my trip plan (somehow the word 'plan' just doesn't sound right, it sounds more like something covert, but it's the only word that is currently coming to mind).  I beginning/attempting to make contact with a few women in Cali (my destination.  i'll be staying at CaliCharm from the 21st to the 29th), then when I get there meet and go out with just a few women (i'm shooting for no more than 3).  While I know that isn't a huge number, it allows for more time to be spent with each one.  Quality over quantity.  I'm a bit of a people-watcher, so hopefully that will serve me well.  I would love to be down there longer, but this is just my first trip and, unfortunately, I do have to go back to work.  Got to make sure of that, since it's financing my trips!    

So, any thoughts?  All are welcome (flashback to the movie 'Poltergeist'!). 

After checking out the Cali Charm website I can understand why you are only shooting for going out with no more than 3 women. I had to go thru five or six pages of profiles before I even saw one that I might actually be seen in public with.

And here she is: http://www.calicharm.com/detail-profile.php?per=511

Not much to look at but she has some potential.

If this chick was hot for me I'd take her to a beauty shop and get her hair straighted and blow dried so her hair wasn't plastered to her head which is why her face looks so pudgy.

She has good shoulders and long legs with  beautiful feet made for high heel sandals. Not a bad overall fixer upper.

[blockbuster]

 YIKES!! Not a lot of charm at Calicharm. Hopefully it's one of those situations where the girls look way better in person than the pics. Have you checked Jaime's agency?

[zoomastermo]

Ah, now this, this is entertainment that you just can't buy! 
This is just my first trip to Colombia, however I think there's a little more there (at CaliCharm) than what blockbuster and Calipro feel.  Of course, not having been to the country I can't vouch for the overall population, but this is in my opinion a good starting point.  However, I want to weigh everything into the equation.  Personality, intelligence, sense of humor (dear god please!!!!!), all of it.  I'm more the kind of guy that would prefer to watch Diane Lane in a movie rather than whatever new hot chick is around.  Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, they say.  Perhaps I will be overwhelmed and come to the same conclusion as you two gentlemen, I have no clue.  No matter what, it will be an awesome trip and a fantastic chance to get my feet wet. 
Oh, and by the way, I'm rather fond of Lili0221.  A nice face, beautiful smile (dimples included), and there's something about the way she stands.  She seems a bit uncomfortable posing (or as I perceive it), which is understandable because I absolutely hate having my picture taken.  I guess modesty is the word that comes to mind. 

I'll have to go back through posts to remember which agency Jaime owns.

[Calipro]

I guess modesty is the word that comes to mind. 

Modesty comes to mind when I read your posts. Lili0221 is 40 years old with two kids and with any luck at all she has grandchildren.

If I were you I'd date 20 or so women in Cali (not from Cali Charm) and try and come to grips with what kind of women might find me attractive before settling on grandma.

[zoomastermo]

Well, that has been the overall recommendation, to date more women.  Which is what I will do.  I am not going to settle for anyone.  It's a first trip, it's going to be a great time, and it will be interesting to see what kind of women find me attractive.  I will say, I'm not really into the young ones.  I mean, I've got a 17 yr old son.  The thought of dating someone exceptionally close to his age is, well, kind of creepy.  Perhaps that's just me, and maybe my thought process will change after actually being there.  We'll see.  One of my lessons in life has been that young and pretty without a brain doesn't work well with me.  I learned that one quite well.  I'm not real eager to do that again.

[daytrader]

If I was on the prowl, I would ask out  JACKIE  CC0681 out in a heartbeat....She puts to shame 99.9% of American Women.  Let the bottle blonde grow out, save a few highlights, that's it...she's perfect!

http://www.calicharm.com/detail-profile.php?per=765 

Do me a favor, and be sure to ask her out, ok zoomastermo ? 


DayTrader

[zoomastermo]

Actually, daytrader, she's one I have on my radar!  Nice eye!
Oh, I will be asking her out.  I'll make sure I fill you in on the details. 

[daytrader]

.... I wouldn't wait!  IMO, call Walter up today and send her something for Christmas...ask her what she's doing for New Years Eve......I'd spend a grand in airfare just to meet her.....jajaja!!!



DayTrader