In Medellin Now

[Hector_Lavoe]

Medellin is a city of nearly 3,000,000 including the small cities on the north and south ends of the city. It is located in a long narrow valley that runs north and south. The prevailing winds are from the NNE but because of the configuration of mountains on both sides of the Aburrá Valley the wind tends to rise over the city rather than blow through it as it does in Cali. Thus, the exhaust from millions of gas and diesel engines tends to hang in a layer over the city. You can see it best when you drive down the mountain from Rionegro. Sort of the same way you see the smog as you fly into LAX.
I lived in Medellin for two months and one of the main reasons I left was because the air irritated my throat and lungs.

Thanks for the explanation Andy. Yes, I am all too familiar with the sort of geography that can trap smog inside a city surrounded by mountains. 

[the_ace33]

well hector I thought the other girl back home was out of the picture then right before my trip she sent a message to me through her friend that she wants another chance in more dramatic words...  yeah tread carefully I hear you bro but what is a guy to do in this situation,  they are both adorable?

[fathertime]

.  I was treated so well that I am ready to get engaged but when I talk to her about coming to the states she doesn't sound ready yet,
Turns out that indeed I only needed one good girl to make this trip worth while, I don't have any complaints...  I had a ring ready but I get the impression that she wants to wait,  She has no idea however that I have a latin girl back home that is knocking on my door,  That kind of leaves me with a decision to make so that's the drama===

Hey Ace! 


sounds like a real fun trip...i'd wouldn't hold it against your med gal if she wants to give it some more time...it is not unreasonable of her....if one of my daughters asked me what my advise would be...it would be to wait a little longer...test the man's devotion and meddle somewhat...as a dad, I would say to my daughter if the guy starts to get flaky or sulk, then move on...but hey that is just me, she may not have a father around, or may not ask him his opinions, and his opinion might be different anyway....


you seem pretty free so if that is the case you can go back again soon and see how things progress...

well hector I thought the other girl back home was out of the picture then right before my trip she sent a message to me through her friend that she wants another chance in more dramatic words...  yeah tread carefully I hear you bro but what is a guy to do in this situation,  they are both adorable?

well i guess if you feel the need to investigate this lady, she is probably closer to home and will give you better opportunity to get to know her a little more thoroughly...it would be hard to believe she is as cute as the med gal though...It is good for you that you get to make some choices and you got time, so enjoy!


Good luck!


Fathertime! 

[Kiltboy1]

Thanks for the explanation Andy. Yes, I am all too familiar with the sort of geography that can trap smog inside a city surrounded by mountains.

Quito is the same
Think inverted bowl and 3 million people and cars and over 9000 feet altitude and you get lots of smog.I have to do oxygen treatments if I visit during the NC allergy season.

[AndyLee]

well hector I thought the other girl back home was out of the picture then right before my trip she sent a message to me through her friend that she wants another chance in more dramatic words...  yeah tread carefully I hear you bro but what is a guy to do in this situation,  they are both adorable?

These are excellent opportunities to test your attachment to your girl in Medellin while at the same time you can  learn more about your Latina in the US and look for the ways she may have become partly or wholly Americanized. Personally I think a man and a woman should date as many people as they can before they choose one to settle down with. It's more than just sowing wild oats, it's also part of the learning process where you are learning more about yourself and what you are looking for and what you have to offer.

[Elexpatriado]

As long as thier over 18 years of age....
 
 

These are excellent opportunities to test your attachment to your girl in Medellin while at the same time you can  learn more about your Latina in the US and look for the ways she may have become partly or wholly Americanized. Personally I think a man and a woman should date as many people as they can before they choose one to settle down with. It's more than just sowing wild oats, it's also part of the learning process where you are learning more about yourself and what you are looking for and what you have to offer.

[robert angel]

Personally I think a man and a woman should date as many people as they can before they choose one to settle down with. It's more than just sowing wild oats, it's also part of the learning process where you are learning more about yourself and what you are looking for and what you have to offer.

I agree. Perhaps it sounds odd, but I was for all intents and purposes,  the first guy my wife had a serious romantic relationship with. She's honest and open that sometimes she wonders what it would have been like had she experienced 'single life' and actively dating. More valentines day cards, flowers, fighting and making up--all that and a lot of growing up in that area. But she was always very serious about school, family and then went to working pretty much six days a week, 12 hours a day.

In the media, she sees all the dramas, in the magazines, on TV all the make up and break up stuff and it seems alien. She doesn't harp on it, but being open and honest, she has told me that it is a part of most people's lives she never had and she feels she missed out. I kind of feel a little bad, but I feel very lucky some guy just didn't sweep her off her feet before me. That's just how it worked out. I knew her for 4 years before we got real serious and we both had 'options'--people she met on-line, etc. That's just how it went and I hope it doesn't come back to bite me.

[Dan Las Vegas]

I wasn't aware Medellin had a smog problem? I know Bogota has a real bad smog problem. How bad is it in Medellin?

I can tell you that the exhaust would burn my throat each day when I was walking around Medellin, but after a time, I got used to it, but the apt I rented was further up the hills near the intercontinental hotel, so the smog was not as noticeable as it was on Ave Poblado.  I am more bothered by the smog in Medellin than in Bogota.

Dan LV

[Researcher]

These are excellent opportunities to test your attachment to your girl in Medellin while at the same time you can  learn more about your Latina in the US and look for the ways she may have become partly or wholly Americanized. Personally I think a man and a woman should date as many people as they can before they choose one to settle down with. It's more than just sowing wild oats, it's also part of the learning process where you are learning more about yourself and what you are looking for and what you have to offer.

I agree. I learned alot about what worked and didn't work in relationships I had been in. I think it does take some dating around and varying degrees of commitment to find out what works for a person. My past relationships had alot to do with what I looked for in a woman when I was dating and ultimately met my wife.

[Elexpatriado]

 
Yeah..sweet and innocent... probably a virgin..

sounds good buddy, she looks real sweet and innocent.... Keep us posted.


Fathertime!

[the_ace33]

A virgin?  HAHA!!
Maybe not that but she seems more mature and reliable compared to the home girl...

[robert angel]

A virgin?  HAHA!!
Maybe not that but she seems more mature and reliable compared to the home girl...

Wonder how happy she'd be knowing you're posting pictures of her on this site, then raising questions as to her virginity.....

[pchip]

Wonder how happy she'd be knowing you're posting pictures of her on this site, then raising questions as to her virginity.....

Agree again!!! Seems on an immature move by the_Ace33.


Also, if you've tested the waters, then went back home to the arms of another girl, well in her mind you'll be no better than the men she's trying to avoid.  So think of her when you do make your decisions.  You many not be comprometidos yet, but if you were ready to engage, you might as well be so,  IMHO

[AndyLee]

Wonder how happy she'd be knowing you're posting pictures of her on this site, then raising questions as to her virginity.....

I didn't read ace's comment as derogatory and I don't think he's cheating by maintaining a friendship with a girl back home……I think he was just making a polite response to a certain jaded poster who keeps interjecting subtle flames into his posts probably trying to stir up a pissing contest just for kicks, like the other couple of trolls on this forum.
None of us are under any illusion that any of these girls past the age of 18 are virgins, especially in Colombia where the age of consent, (for Colombians not gringos), is 14.  Ace has been making straight up posts and I hope he continues to keep the board up to date with his progress.

[Hector_Lavoe]

I agree with Andy. Ace was merely responding to another poster's very unnecessary comment.

[the_ace33]

thank you Andy and Hector... I see this forum as an outlet to share experiences and gain knowledge and support from fellow travelers and seekers... I would also like to say once again that I do not know if my Colombian girl is ready to be engaged to me or not and I am trying not to be pushy with her...

[Elexpatriado]

Its my fault, I started it...was feeling in a bit of a cyical mood...
 
But actually, in reality I am the type of guy who likes to keep things personal, and would not post a girl's picture on a site like this..with or without their consent, nor talk in any type of detail about our relationship. I am in no way perfect, but do my very best to  respect women I know...no matter if they are Colombians or liberated North Americans....I also like to keep my personal details personal as much as possible.Try to talk in generalities rather than specific.
 
Now if someone disrespects me, thats a different case- no holds barred..
 

Agree again!!! Seems on an immature move by the_Ace33.


Also, if you've tested the waters, then went back home to the arms of another girl, well in her mind you'll be no better than the men she's trying to avoid.  So think of her when you do make your decisions.  You many not be comprometidos yet, but if you were ready to engage, you might as well be so,  IMHO

[Awesome]

I see nothing wrong with Ace33's photo or his comments.  He seems like he is genuinely searching for a good woman to marry.


It's elexpatriado who seems to dirty up every thread talking about 18 year olds and speculating on Ace33's girl's sexual experience.

[Elexpatriado]

  No sense of humour
 

I see nothing wrong with Ace33's photo or his comments.  He seems like he is genuinely searching for a good woman to marry.


It's elexpatriado who seems to dirty up every thread talking about 18 year olds and speculating on Ace33's girl's sexual experience.

[Elexpatriado]

One thing I will say, is I see the OP taking the same flippant attitude to marriage and relationships as a lot of people on this site.
 
You skype her for a couple months, along with another woman, then go down and see her for 2 weeks. Then you want to get engaged, but your not surer, because there's a women back home who is interested in you.
 
Sorry, dont sound too serious to me.
 
Well if your not sure, move to Medellin for a few months and get to know here well. Or bring here to the states on a temporary visa, make sure she knows it is temporary, and compensate her for her loss earnings for the time, plusa 6 months or a  year after she gets back. Marriage is a serious thing, not to be taken lightly. Sometimes it takes years to get to know a person well.
 
Remember, you are getting advice from a lot of people who have done the same thing, and been sucsessful out of pure blind luck. They played Russian Roulette and won.
 
Do you wanna take your chances and play Russian Roulette, or do you want to take your time, relax, get to know someone real well before making a serious, well-thoughty out decision?Your young and have the time to do it.
 
It's only my opinion. I know I am going to get flack from the others- but it is my opinion. And I am nit being humourous , flippant or cynical this time.

[beulah]

Expat, does being serious and getting married have to go together? I'm not serious and will disclose that to a lady, but I might still get married again or am I not allowed to?  It was nice of ace to share his pictures with us so we probably shouldn't remark unpleasently about him or his girlfriend.

[Elexpatriado]

Expat, does being serious and getting married have to go together? I'm not serious and will disclose that to a lady, but I might still get married again or am I not allowed to?  It was nice of ace to share his pictures with us so we probably shouldn't remark unpleasently about him or his girlfriend.

I wasnt being unpleasant- at least inthe last post- I was and am just stating my opinion. If you dont take marriage seriously-than thats your problem. I am not saying you have to take everything in  life 100% seriously and not have fun- but this thing should be taken very seriously.
 
I know an old guy here in Medellin who's been married 6 times- marries them and divorces them. Ace Is a young guy, he has lots of time, he doesnt have to pay these silly old man's games.
 
If people have this type of attitude, why get married in the first place? It's all for the womans advantage financially, and whether you believe it or not , divorce [snip]S UP the kids.
 
This is a serious thing.Taking a woman you hardly know  out of her environment into a foreign country away from her family and not taking it as serious issue is not fair to her, and very risky financially to you, risky emocionally to both of you, and as far as I am concerned, flippant and iresponsible, and much worse than any snide comments I am posting here.
 
This is a human being, with hopes , dreams and aspirations, not some "Portable R & R" or something like that.
 
All I am saying, is he should take a lot more time getting to know her before thinking about marriage. You should spend as much time as you would with a woman in your own country.
 
Like I said, it's only my opinion-and I have already gotten flak for it- but who gives a [snip] anyway. You dont have to agree with me if you dont want to.

[beulah]

I don't think it has to be important for a guy who has been there done that.  Disclose fully and enjoy.  Some ladys feel the same, maybe you haven't met many of those. 
 Younger people yes, take it seriously. 

[robert angel]

If you've got the time, money for repeated trips to distant nations where you can get by speaking the language, along with a fast internet connection, it can get real easy to take this internet dating thing casually. You just go on-line and every day there's photos of new babes, some cuter than the day before. Window shopping from the comfort of your own home or wherever your smart phone might be.


Sure there are players on both sides and to some extent or another, we're all players. But we can get pretty jaded and callous about these women, some who like some of the guys, have hopes and dreams they hold pretty high and dear, only to see them dashed.


I've let some down and I've been let down myself. I guess we can just hope to try and make it as humane as possible. It takes more courage to explain the 'why' you stopped calling, e mailing or taking calls, than to just totally stop corresponding.

The way I see it, people just seem to care less about each other as individuals as international correspondence has become so easy.

[Elexpatriado]

Personally, I cant see how someone can get so wrapped up with a person they only have viewed through an 18" X 12" screen, and they havent met in person, dont even know if they like each others phermones....
 
Then when they finally meet, they hit it off, and date for a couple weeks, and someone proposes marriage...come on already, is this reality? Or is it just lonliness,I feel real good now, and if it doesnt work out, hopefully she just goes back home and doesnt bother me...
 
I know dating back home is rough, life can get lonely, but you have to use a little common sense before you get really "serious", and maybe think a bit more with the big head than with the little one...