decisions HELP!!!!!!!!

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Me too and with you! (n/t), posted by imi on Aug 28, 2001

Hi Imi,

Sorry about all of the mixup. Welcome to Planet-Love to both you and your cousin Deon.  As Ray said, whats the hurry? Why not go to meet your fiance first and spend some time with him, visiting his family and country? Check on the US State Department website for travel warnings and important information.  http://travel.state.gov/syria.html
I would see how you both feel during your visit  before commiting to marriage. Even if you are in love, sometimes families don't approve. I don't know the customs there. What is your ethnicity, if you don't mind my asking? I am not very familiar with Syria, other than it is an conservative Islamic Arab  Republic. From perusing the State Department website, it doesn't appear that Americans (not sure of your nationality) are always welcome.

Both the K-1 and K-3 petitions usually have to be filed in the US by the sponsoring fiance/ee or spouse.

Good Luck!

Dave H.

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Me too and with you! (n/t), posted by imi on Aug 28, 2001

N/T

[Ray]

... in response to decisions HELP!!!!!!!!, posted by IMI on Aug 27, 2001

Don’t you think you should meet first before you decide which way to go? The K-3 visa for spouses “should” be faster, but nobody knows for sure yet until they process some of the first applicants. A lot depends on which INS Service Center you use. Some service centers might be faster with a K-1 fiancée visa. Which state do you live in?

Personally, I think the choice that is the fastest is not necessarily the best one. First priority should be getting to know each other really well. When you are both 100% sure that you want to get married, then leave the choice of a wedding overseas or a fiancée visa up to the woman. If she has her heart set on a wedding over there with her family and friends present, then I would recommend that route, regardless of how long it will take for her to come over.

Ray

[imi]

... in response to What's the hurry?, posted by Ray on Aug 27, 2001

hehehehh RAY i am the WOMAN and I expect to have two weddings. one for his family there one for mine here. BUt the legal paper work.. will be filed.. Well that will depend on where or when we get married. If we marry there then the paper work might as welll be filed at the consult there right? as if we marry here, under the K3 visa the paper work will still need to be filed at the consult there anyway?? And yes, when we meet we will decide which way to go.. as we've been talking and writing to each other for months I think i know him as well as i know myself.. and vise versa.  also to everyone I like the discussions you all seem like a big family.. that is nice.  and thank you all for your welcomes.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: What's the hurry?, posted by imi on Aug 28, 2001

Well IMI, you fooled me. You and Deon not only post from the same exact IP address, but you go to school together, you know each other, you're both looking for information on fiancée visas, you’re cousins, and you even use the same unique grammatical style. What a weird coincidence.

Anyway, assuming that you are serious about this, you both have a lot to learn about marrying a foreigner and the visa application process. First, all fiancé visa applications have to be filed in the US at the designated INS center. Same goes for the K-3 petition. If you marry overseas, some US consulates will let you file the spousal visa petition directly with the consulate in that country, so you need to check with the overseas consulate for their particular policies.

I would recommend that you start reading everything that you can find about these visa procedures. You can start with the INS at:

http://www.ins.usdoj.gov/graphics/index.htm

Then, click on “Immigration” on the left side of your screen from this site and follow the links. There’s enough information there to keep you busy for a while. Then feel free to ask any questions you have.

Just remember that marriage to a foreign national and the subsequent paperwork drill to get your spouse over here is neither easy nor inexpensive. I wish you luck.

Oh, and say hi to Deon when you see him.

Ray

[Howard]

... in response to Re: What's the hurry?, posted by imi on Aug 28, 2001

IMI,

First of all, welcome to P/L :c)

I have to agree with Ray and I speak from personal expirience, unfortunately.  I would've bet my LIFE on the fact that I knew my wife from letter writing, talking on the phone, meeting in the Phils, etc... and I would be dead right now!  OUCH!  I don't mean to be melodramatic... but while my wife admits that everything here is almost exactly how I said it would be, almost nothing is how I thought it would be.  I was open and honest--very open and VERY honest--and felt my wife was as well, yet almost nothing is how I thought it would be and I had very realistic expectations, ask anyone.  I feel that my wife was honest, she just didn't think to mention certain traits in her personality that are making our relationship difficult.  I'm sure that there are things that surprised her about me, once we began living together.  I had doubts before the wedding, but chalked 'em up to nothing more than cold feet.  I did consider trying to postpone the wedding, so that we could get to know each other better, but she was here on a K-1 and we only had 90 days.  Plus, I had spent so much time and money on the wedding that I let that be my motivating factor to proceed, at that time, rather than the fact that I want to be with my wife forever, which is also true :c)  Also, I was afraid of what my family would think, afraid of what my friends would think... these were all bad reasons to continue when I had doubts.

I'm sure you feel you've been honest with your man.  I'm sure he feels he's been honest with you, but you don't know someone until you are WITH them and years of letter writing, a few weeks together in the Philippines and months of the K-1--or K-3 in your case--STILL do not count as being 'with' them.

My advice is slow down!  Do the K-1 and heed your instincts.  Don't let your heart cloud your judgement.  If it was meant to be, it WILL!  Just don't ignore doubts, discuss them, discount them, etc... but do NOT ignore them.  I'm sure you don't have any doubts, but neither did I and now that's all I have.  Read the archive and don't ignore the negative possibilities.  Everything seems great now, but sooner or later real life will take over!  When I came on this board, almost no one had anything negative to say, now there are several of us that ran when we should've tip-toed and are having--or have had--difficulties and many have not and are deleriously happy :c)  

Only time will tell whether or not i did everything right.  Maybe it will all work out in the end for my wife and I, I sure hope it does! and I know that everyone here hopes that for us, but a little caution could've prevented a mountain of heartache and indecision, at least for my wife and I.

I wish you all the best that life has to offer!  I hope you guys make the decision that makes you BOTH the happiest :c)

Keep the Faith

H

[Carl]

... in response to Re: What's the hurry?, posted by imi on Aug 28, 2001

We had been talking and writing for over a year. Did not meet until she arrived in the states. Neither of us were surprised at all. Married 2 and half days later. We are both very happy after married for a year and a half. It can happen. God be with you and hope you truely love each other.  Carl

[Bear]

... in response to decisions HELP!!!!!!!!, posted by IMI on Aug 27, 2001

I am the only one here I think that has files for the K-3.  Now that it is in effect it should be much faster than any other method.  I think 3 months tops.

1) Simply take several G-325A with you and have her fill them out.  

2) Get copies of the marriage certificte and make sure you have any divorce papers with you.  

3) Get a bout a half-dozen each *rightside* passport photos of her and you.  

4) When you get home obtain and file I-130 ($110) and I-864 ($120 - this one speeds up the immigration process when the I-130 is complete).  

5) You will receive your 1st NOA within a week or two.  

6) When you get that 1st NOA you copy it and send the copy along with the I-129F form ($95) to the *Chicago* immigration.  

7) You should recieve a DS2033 form in about 30-60 days asking what address you want the process info to use.  return it with the requested info.

Once they recieve that they will send you wife the I-693 form where she will have to get a physical, immunizations and interview with the embaasssy.  

9) the visa is sent to your wife in about 2 weeks

Note: If your wife lives in the R.P. then uring all this she should be obtaining NSO copies of...
a) her birth certificate,
b) marriage certificate
c) and police clearance,
d) and take the CFO class in either Cebu or Manila (I recommend Manila from what I have heard).  
These documents can be very difficult and time consuming to obtain.  So waste no time in doing so.

I am sure I made a few errors in all of that startingf with the word "simply".  Someone will correct me if I did.

[imi]

... in response to Re: decisions HELP!!!!!!!!, posted by Bear on Aug 27, 2001

Hi bear thank you for all the advice and pointers.. as you wrote you were the only one who applied for the k3 you must have recently applied.. as i think the visa only just became available. have you gotten any replies as yet.. and did it take a long time? Sounds like the US has really just come up with a new way of getting more money out of those who dare to love someone from another country.. as I havea friends whose husband has a  H1 visas they got married last spring, but he was able to bring his wife  back within the month?? ONe would think that the US citizen would be extended such good treatment.... though i do understand why we aren't? as its to protect us.. but...... just seems a little unequal treatment in this case the foriegn national is getting the better treatment.

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: decisions HELP!!!!!!!!, posted by imi on Aug 28, 2001

Actually I applied on Jun 24th in expectation of the K-3 becoming effective.  It was almost 8 weels after that I recieved NOA on it.  From what people are telling me I am the 1st they have heard thats received NOA although I have met one other.

I don't think that unless your spouse is a business owner in the USA that you can get away with coming right way.  Oh and the rich who can grease a few palms.  Its always been about money and not the people.  There is very little money in it thats why it takes so long.

Bear

[imi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: decisions HELP!!!!!!!!, posted by Bear on Aug 28, 2001

hi Bear....
what is NOA? I'm afraid being new to this i've seen many abbreviations and are unsure what most of them are..
and I wasn't referring to my spouse coming right away.. i know that is impossible.. I was saying that those that are hear on the H1 are allowed to bring there spouses here immediatley.. as my friend had been married to her husband for two weeks and arrive in the US exactly 16days after her marriage, and this isn't the only case.. i know of.. at all.. the H1 or even the F1 visa holders are able to do this.. its the citizen, and PR that get the hard time.. my friend and her husband are now applying for the PR through his job, they have been here now for two years. He could've applied before the marriage but said its harder to get the partner over here after applying for the PR. and neither he nor any of the other people I know are business owners. most are either workers and students.
So now that you have the NOA what is next for you.. she now has to file that paper work or is that the last of the papers? how soon are you expecting to haver her here???