Dominican Disaster!!

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: This lady is no child, political..., posted by HappyInBrazil on Mar 29, 2002

I don't really disagree except for calling the laison rape and treating it with penalties similar to murder.Actually I could raise my age for sex with some penalties to 16 in some circumstances maybe even 17,as long as we don't equate it with rape and the murder like penalties.
Yes I think there is a big imbalence between a 44 year old guy and a 16 year old girl and I certainly don't recomend it,especially for marriage.
In the case of Bobs girl friend,a 16 year old who initially passed herself off as 22,she is old enough for sex without penalties or guilt,even if its not smart.I'm just glad it ended before Bob got himself in deeper.Actually the age thing would have protected him,she wouldn't have been able to get a fiance or spousal visa.
Here in San Jose there is an article in the paper this morning about a high Tech executive that was arrested before leaving the country to get together with a 13 year old Vietnamese girl.Apparently he was going to try to bring her here and basically bought her from her family for $150,000.Now I don't approve of ehat hewas doing but I still don't quite equate it with rape.What is scary is this same law,traveling to have sex with a minor could be used against a guy like Bob and his 16.5 year old or someone with a girl 17 years 11 months.One of my friends was engaged to a 18 year old Colombiana.Its hard to belive if she was a few months younger and they had sex he could get in big trouble.
I think US laws should only apply to conduct within this country,otherwise we started applying our strait laced and restrictive laws to what people do in other countries,where age is looked at entirely differently.
And again,17 years 11 months is not a child and consential sex with her should not in any way be considered any form of rape.
This law was being used recently here against an 18 year old mexican guy and his 17 year old girl friend.She had a kid by him,they were living together and planning to marry.
This should not be illegal let alone be in any way equated with rape,where a person is forcefully a violently forced to have sex.
I think they dropped the charge.It was ridiculous.

Pete

[HappyInBrazil]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: This lady is no child, polit..., posted by Pete E on Apr 1, 2002

I think your example of the 17yr old woman and her 18yr old husband is a good example of the intent of the law getting lost.

I think we can both agree it is an arbitrary line that has been drawn, and also agree that some protections are needed as well.

Strange story about the exec, but if you're going to fix things, how about fixing the way people that marry foriegn spouses are treated by our government!

Anyway, thanks for the good discussion on this topic.

[Cali vet]

... in response to quite an exageration from what said..., posted by Bob101 on Mar 28, 2002

Here! here!, good post. Nothing ventured nothing gained! Who wants to be on his deathbed saying "I wish I had..." However I must comment that a taxi driver who took me to Los Charamicos once (near Puerta Plata) told me that 95% of the women in that town were prostitutes. In fact to anyone who goes to RP you'll find a huge proportion of the women there are "pros". It's just the way it is.

[Hoda]

... in response to Yes., posted by HappyInBrazil on Mar 28, 2002


n/t

[Colonialjd]

... in response to Dominican Disaster!!, posted by Bob101 on Mar 26, 2002

Look on the bright side, you could have got her pregnant.

Saludos,

Colonial

[Hoda]

... in response to Dominican Disaster!!, posted by Bob101 on Mar 26, 2002


CHOMP, CHOMP, RIP, SNAP!!!! 23 to 18 to can't even buy beer. She was afraid to tell you her age? Going down to D.R. every 15 days? GAT DAAYYUUM!!!! Fess up right now, you didn't fall in love, you fell for the punanni!!!! The age difference between you two, didn't have a dayyuum thing to do with this breakup. This wasn't a "heartbreak", this was a "walletbreak"!

Beauty is only skin deep, but being dumb is to the bone..LOL

[Tai]

... in response to Dominican Disaster!!, posted by Bob101 on Mar 26, 2002

Bob,

That story is a flapping red flag if I ever heard one. You need to just take that one the chin...accept that THAT disaster was about your bad judgement...you can't pawn that one off on "Latinas".

You say that the reason she said she lied was because she was afraid that you'd leave? -She was not in love when she first met you, and she was lying from the word "go".

First she is 23, then 18, but really 16.5?... She did not need to be THAT good of an actress, because it appears you were all too ready to believe her.

"If you're bleeding in the water, the sharks WILL come."

-Tai

[Aaron]

... in response to Dominican Disaster!!, posted by Bob101 on Mar 26, 2002

Robert,

I hope you've learned from your mistakes because you've definitely ignored the MAJOR red flags. I'm sure they were waving in the wind. No need to tell more.  

Travelling to the DR every 15 days!!!!!!!!!!

DAAAAYYYUUUUUMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!!

Aaron

[Kit]

... in response to You can't classify all Latinas as actres..., posted by Aaron on Mar 26, 2002

1/ Not all the ladies are actresses, that is for sure.

2/ And what may I ask those red flags were? Was it not the age difference by any chance? In every bad relationship first thing people reply is ... oh you ignored red flags that is why it didnt work out. As simple as that. And then what happens? A 40/50 year old goes to LA and thinks about nothing less than a teenager or low 20's. Everybody preaches relationship based on mutual respect and affection but when it comes to selecting a lady those qualities fall behind the skin-deep beauty and youth. 47-year-old woman can be affectionate too you know.

So my point is : big age gap relationship may work out but should be undertaken with great caution. The smaller the gap, the fewer red flags to spot. I think the he who says that 40 and 20 will have lots in common is simply fooling himself. Dont take my word for it. Just hang out with your daughter and see how well you mesh.

[Bob101]

... in response to Re: You can't classify all Latinas as ac..., posted by Kit on Mar 27, 2002

I thought 18 was too young, marginally...I would see her each trip down...she looked 25 y.o. (I'll be happy to send you a photo email me at drpp123@hotmail.com) and after many months, and actually a great act by her, everyone kept asking me "where did you find her? She's so nice..." She could have got the Oscar instead of Halle. She didn't pop the age on me until the final steps of a visa ap. I hung in trying to figure out how stupid I was, and how to unravel my heart. I actually ended it last Sat., and she begged me for one more chance...I caved...I left Tues., she cleaned me out Thurs. & Fri. But, I guess allot of the guys who were critical are ones on this board who have never made a mistake...or their sh#t doesn't stink. I shared my experience for educational purposes, and warnings to others.

[Cali vet]

... in response to You guts are cold..., posted by Bob101 on Mar 27, 2002

And right you were to share the experience sir. I for one find it an interesting storey. I too almost green-carded a lisome dominicana once. Just learn from it and get back on the caballo.

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: You can't classify all Latinas as ac..., posted by Kit on Mar 27, 2002

Kit,

I'm 27, never married, and without children.

In this situation, the girl lied about her age, which is a red flag. If she lied about that, just imagine what else she could lie about.

When she told the guy that she was 18, he should have dropped her. When she said 16, he should have already been long gone; but if not, he should have definitely kicked her to the curb because she is way too young for him.

Another red flag was the difference in maturity levels.

The issue with large age differences is that both people need to take precautions, and have a high degree of maturity to make the relationship work. If she was 23, mature, and the relationship was going well, then I have no right to say they shouldn't be together as long as both people are happy. It's none of my business because they have their personal preferences, even if my preferences are different, and even if I could conjure up many reasons why they shouldn't be together.

You have your personal preferences. So why don't you be happy with them, and try to find a woman that is compatible. For myself, I wouldn't go for a woman more than 3 years older or more than 10 years younger.  

I'm happy with that.

Also, don't misleadingly believe that the smaller the age gap, the fewer the red flags. That is not true. A slick woman of 30 to 40 is 1000 times slicker than a slick girl at 20. Both types are dangerous, but a slick older woman can really put a guy in misery.  

Aaron

[Wayne]

... in response to Re: Re: You can't classify all Latinas a..., posted by Aaron on Mar 27, 2002

Aarion,

I agree with you!

That 16 year old was way too mature for him....LOL

Wayne

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: You can't classify all Latinas a..., posted by Aaron on Mar 27, 2002

.

[digital1942]

... in response to Dominican Disaster!!, posted by Bob101 on Mar 26, 2002

I am sorry to hear about your situation.  You have my sympathy.  It would be useful to us if you could describe some of her specific actress behaviors she used to seduce you and also some red flags which in hindsight you now realize you missed.  Thanks