First of all, welcome to Planet Love! I think everyone has come up with lots of good advice. If it's any consolation, you seem to have a lot more going in your favor than I did. But, like many of these lucky guys at PL, I also ended up with a lady that is more fantastic than any I imagined in my wildest dreams. To say that it was worth it and that I am extremely happy is an understatement. The down side for me at the moment, is that we will be separated for a few more months, until she gets her Fiancee Visa. But it is worth the wait.

As far as being viewed with contempt for looking after the welfare of your parents...I don't think so. At least by the type of woman you would want to marry. I have been raising my two sons alone for the past 6 years. Most American women looked at it as a big problem. For my Filipina fiancee, it is one of the things she admires and respects about me most. That was one of the reasons she fell in love with me. She tells me that she is very proud of me for putting my sons first and doing my best to take care of them. Family is very important to most Filipinas. My fiancee left her job to take care of her mother, who was seriously ill for the past several years. She took care of her terminally ill father before that. Her love and dedication to her family is one of the reasons I love and admire her so much.

Good Luck!

Dave H.

There are alternate strategies when choosing ladies to write to from the online catalogues.  Instead of writing only to the recent additions with great photos, being selective in other ways can yield a good response rate.  I wrote to ladies who were listed for 1 to 1 and 1/2 years, aged 30 to 33 years, and whos photos were not great.  All four that I wrote to responded (although one was a pass-along to a friend).

Remember, ladies who look like a model get bombarded with letters, and a good quality photo will make them look better than they really do while a poor photo often does not do justice to a fine looking lady.  Also, the new listings get an initial wave of responses and you're likely to get lost in the crowd.  But many of these ladies remain available after a year becase so many guys make dumb mistakes in their intro letters.

When I asked my wife why she didn't respond to so many intro letters, here are the reasons she gave:

1. "He was too proud of himself." - Good Filipinas, at least, value humility, and are turned off by guys who make a point of listing all their possessions.

2. "He had a beard." - Most asian ladies don't like beards; they can adapt but that will happen after you're married.

3. "He had a dog in his photo." - Many Filipinas are afraid of dogs and don't understand American's love of dogs.

4. "I couldn't see his face." - They like the photo to be reasonably close-up.

5. "He wrote eleven pages." - A good intro letter is short; giving stats and facts, and some personal revelations but not a bunch of baggage.

6. "He asked too many questions." - Leave the filtering to the second letter; the purpose of the first letter is to get past her filters.

Just my opinion, from my experience,

Welcome to the board,
Jim

Jeff:

Definition of Hell:
Tiny Japanese home, British cook, Chinese salary and
and an American wife!

Peaches:

What a shame!  Where is your mother from Jeff? Don't
generalize coz it doesn't happen to everyone. Maybe
mostly but not to everybody.  There are Japanese and
Filipina by blood too who are Americans.

But I've never seen a man divorce his wife because she couldn't cook!

Stephen

Bear

I spent about $5000 total from start to flying there to get married in Davao.

I met my wife chatting on mIRC, DALNET, #Davao channel.  You have to be very careful though because it is so easy to lie and when you chat with one you are ususally chatting with a gaggle.  Its also possible to get references from the guys on this board and from those on Mag-anak who know Filipinas that are lerss likely to be gold diggers or green card sharks.

Remember they are looking too (probably writing more than one man) so write at least a hundred to start and pare it down to 5-10 you want to visit.  Still once I met and prayed about Honey I stopped writing all the others.  One of the hardet parts is breaking up with someone you've spent time writing and developing a relationship with for someone you think a better choice,  Still most of them are writing more than one too.

Filipinas (feminine form of the worh Filipinos) are very family oriented from what I have seen and like old style family values.  Most expect the man to direct the family (in a loving way, of course).

When I compare AW's to Filipinas I think they only thing I can say is AW's don't have a clue on how to please a man and seemingly have no desire to do so.  You will find women in the Philippines in there 20's and 30's that have never even been kissed waiting for you to teach them.  Who knows what else.  But if you are not careful you will find women who'll use you in  a harder much less caring way that any AW ever would.  So be patient and take ur time.  Ask lots of questions and try to trip them up.  Then show true appreciation.  Can't lose in the long run.

Bear.