Since we spent about 8 weeks non-stop in Colombia together, there really haven't been any surprises now that she is here.  We have settled into the typical life in Southern California.  Sailing, running on the beach, going to the gym, mountain biking, and hanging out with my friends.  She goes to English class 3 hours a day, 5 days a week.  She seems to be enjoying English now, but wouldn't have anything to do with it while we were in Colombia.  She said that I would be in Colombia for a short time, and that would be a good time for me to practice my Spanish.

Her character in general is easy going and she is a hard worker.  Since she supported herself and has worked since she was 14, she is definately not spoiled.  In general, we take care of each other nicely and everything is really great.

Since I had a Russian wife previously, I have been enjoying the knowledge that I gained the 1st time around.  I'm not making so many of the stupid mistakes that caused so much grief with my Russian wife.  The main thing I have learned is patience.  For you guys without patience, good luck.  Life just moves really slow with a wife who speaks little English and is new to this country.  You just have to sit back and take it easy, and not put pressure on them.  And also, just turn the keys to the house over to them and let them reorganize as they please.  I like a clean house, but my wife is a fanatic about cleanliness.

About homesickness, my wife misses her friends some but she wasn't close to her family, so that hasn't been a problem.  She is able to e-mail her best friend each day, so that has helped her some.

When she was in Colombia, she was worried about missing her Colombian favorite foods.  Well, she actually likes the food better here now and she has been pleasantly surprized.  I like to cook, and she is still getting used to an hombre in the cocina.  She said that she never met a Colombian hombre who would cook for a women.  Since these girls are spoiled by the fantastic juices in Colombia, it's easier to make juices and smoothies at home, then to try to find them in a restaraunt.  Also natural juices in restaraunts in the states are mui costoso compared to Colombia.

The cold has been an issue, and she wears alot of sweaters.  When she's whining about the cold, I tell her that she's lucky we live in Southern California and not New Hampshire like my friend and his Colombian Esposa.  I will add that when you take your new wives to the Embassy in Bogota, dress them warmly because it is really cold there.  Gloves, sweaters and hot drinks.  Sitting around for hours and hours waiting for that grass to grow can get pretty cold.

So that's my report.
Not very exciting, but it's reality...

Wayne

-- Jeff S. (from Huntington Beach)

-- Jeff S.

I would like to know details about your marrage in Cali. My girlfriend wants us to get marred by a notary and I think what they charging to marry an american is out of this world. I want to get marred by the church in cali and then have a civel marrge here in Los Angeles. what was your cost?

I'm not sure if there is much value in comparing one women to one women, Russian VS Colombian.  Obviously they are all individuals and every women is going to be different in her own way.  My opinion comes from my own experience as well as my friends with Russian and Latino wives.

1st many Russian women communicate terrible.  And I'm not talking about English problems.  Culturally they just don't share what is on their mind, and when there is a problem, they stuff it all inside and start the crap tab running.  Marriage is a long time and we all screw up.  If the women is not willing to forgive and forget, and remembers every mistake you make, the pot is going to get real full, and she is going to be real unhappy down the road.  This is typical Russian women behaviour and all of my friends with Russian wives have struggled with this one.  For a relationship to be healthy, both people have to be willing to let go of the other's screw ups.  My Russian wife remembered every mistake I made, and I forgot and forgave her for hers.  Not real healthy down the road.  Russian women are more stoic and don't share their feelings like Latino women.  Just depends on what type of women you want in your life.  I personally like a women who is more emotional and communicates better.  My RW spoke almost perfect English and we were never able to communicate as well as my Colombian wife...and she speaks almost no English.  I believe the family ties and the friendships are more loyal in Latin America.  Russian women seem to have less trouble severing ties with friends and family to benefit their future.  If they think it will benefit them to sever your marriage for a leg up somewhere else, they will.  

So like I said, these generalizations are probably worthless and all you need is one good women.  I'm sure you can find her in Latin America, or Russia.  After 2 months in Colombia, I just laugh at the idea of going to Russia.

Just my 2 pesos worth,
Wayne

Without naming you, I did post your "new-marriage" advice on the russian board.

I also made slight changes to protect your identity.

I just thought that it was such good advice that it ought to have a wider audience... hope that was OK..

For those of us, who serious about our quest. Your early accounts are what serious guys are hoping to achieve. I live in NYC & keep telling my lady about the "Real seasons" she'll experience, once whe gets here...lol! Wayne, when you have time, could you explain some of the mistakes (if not too personal) you mentioned, about your first time around. I'm sure guys would love to know, so that they won't make them.

BTW....
"And also, just turn the keys to the house over to them and let them reorganize as they please. I like a clean house, but my wife is a fanatic about cleanliness."

- This is the stone cold truth fellas. Every account, that I have been informed of, concerning these ladies & cleanliness, HAS BEEN TRUE!!! Just let 'em do their thing. If you've ever lived with a woman in the same home, you plan on sharing with your new lady. You better "De-*itch" the house before your new latin lady arrives...lol! IMPORTANT...get rid of that OLD mattress! Your lady won't have anything to do with it...LOL!

I had a fiancee from Bogota who reacted badly to a momentary fit of anger. We were driving around Miami & I got frustrated after missing a couple of freeway exits. I directed a few loud expletives toward the Florida Highway Dept. and slapped the steering wheel with my palm.

Later, when she broke up with me, she mentioned this episode, among several other unrelated reasons. She said the men in her family never behaved this way, and that she was scared that I might someday hit her.

I never have, & never would hit a woman. I consider my temper average for an AM. But some Latinas, especially the quiet, conservative ones, are much more sensitive to this sort of thing than an AW.

I wish I'd known that then. Again, good advice, Wayne.