After reading some of Mike's posts, I have come to the conclusion that he's making sweeping generalizations about Colombian women without even have travelled there to meet any of them.

He's coming across very obnoxiously, and I question whether or not if he has the maturity it takes to be successful with this pursuit.

Mike, if you are offended by this message, go and cry to your girl in Mexico (that's if she is real and not some type of fantasy that you created while surfing the web).

Guys,
Excuse my arrogance, but I'm tired of simpletons.

Mike, Let me share one experience I had with a girl from Cartagena. From this girl, I had learned that earning potential and financial status is not the only important thing.

I had the chance to correspond with a girl from Cartagena who should be 26 now, during 1999 to 2000. This girl was very intelligent. She had a bachelor's degree in Psychology. She didn't come from a poor family. I know that because her brother and sister attended The University of the Andes in Bogota, which is a prestigous private university. Her brother was a medical doctor, and sister was a bacteriologist.

Anyway, this girl was aware that I'm educated, and that I come from a decent upper middle class family (I'm not trying to boast here). D

During our correspondence, she tested my intentions.

She told me in the beginning that she was writing four other guys. I said fine, not a problem. As our friendship grew, she told me that one of the guys she was writing with was a janitor. She said that she had been writing that guy for about a year. He was 10 years older than her. She said that he was a nice guy, and that she liked corresponding with him because she improved her english allot from the correspondence. Then she told me that he was planning to visit her for the first time in Cartagena, and that she and her family were going to receive him in their home.

Immediately when she told me that, I had got jealous. Because by that time, I had started liking her. I would call her regulary and we would write each other. Well, out of jealousy I told her that the other guy could never provide for her like the way that I could. I said he was just a janitor, and that I'll be finished with school making big money in about a year or two. I tried to explain to her that I was the best candidate for a relationship because I would be earning more, and I would be able to provide more for her. (BASICALLY, I WAS AN ASSH*LE FOR SAYING AND BELIEVING THAT. LUCKILY I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON, AND I DON'T THINK LIKE THAT ANYMORE, AND I DON'T SAY THOSE TYPE OF THINGS.)

At that minute, she said "WHAT A MINUTE AARON...you are not considering my feelings about the other guy." After that we finished the phone call. The next day she wrote me a message. She told me the truth of the story.

Actually, the truth was that there was not any other guy...no janitor. The truth was that her father had lost his job in Cartagena, and that to make an income he had to work two jobs. One as a salesman during the day, and one as a janitor during the night.

She told me that she didn't think I had the level of sensitivity and compassion that she was looking for in a man, and that she and I should only be friends.

After that, I felt like a fool. I was hurt because I really did start to like her allot. But, I was too immature, egotistical, and shallow of a person to express my feelings the right way. But, one thing I learned was not to be shallow and judge people by their financial status. And that was a great lesson I had learned from a sweet girl in Cartagena, Colombia.  

Aaron

Thank you very much. You are truly a gentleman.

Not to be a religious fanatic, but the Apostle Paul in the New Testament said that even himself was the chief of sinners, and that all sinners need grace.

Can I get an Amen!!!

Aaron

That was a great post. Thanks for posting something that was a little embarrassing for you.

My best lessons have usually been painful, humiliating and sometimes with a feeling of shame.

That was one smart lady you were writing to.  I hope you are still friends.

I do believe that this foriegn bride quest does attract some individuals that have very few lady and relationship skills.  That is why some of them look outside the country.  They are failing in this country because of their own development in this area.  After being married to a Russian lady for a few years, and being around this whole process, I worry more for the ladies, then the guys.  I hear so much about the scammers and all the stories about what the women have done to the guys.  If the ladies had a board discussing the American men, I'm sure it would be shocking to find out how alot of guys have behaved in this process.

There are definately some insensitive comments flying around such as calling Colombian girls "air heads".  These attitudes toward women, surely don't lead to happy marriages in the future.

Just my .02
Wayne

Aaron

Disagree,  a smart girl who knows how to study will hit the streets running and have a much better chance at adapting.

Let me throw your words right back at you to show you how shallow your are:

"All I am trying to explain is the reality of a marriage. Also a girl with a psychology degree is basically useless in the United States. I have friends with psychology degrees working at Burger King" (Mike, 2001).

Mike, I have one question for you. Are your friends useless?
You can't judge a person's worth, feelings, and intentions just on the type of degree he or she has. And I wouldn't use the type of degree a person has as a parameter to decide whether or not they should be a potential spouse. Take my advice. I'm working on a Ph.D. in psychology. I've been in school for 9 years straight. There are plenty of professors around my univerity, from all fields, that are total jack-offs.

As for having a bachelor's in psychology; hey it's a start. A bachelor's in psychology will definitly lead to further opportunities if the person decides to go to graduate school. A lady friend of mine from Bucaramanga, who has just finished her Ph.D. at my university in Educational Theory and Policy, will be bringing her nephew to the USA to visit graduate schools. He has a degree in psychology from a small private university in Bucaramanga, Colombia. Another reason why I respect this lady is because of this. Even though her and her husband can come to the USA to find high paying jobs in their fields, they have both decided to stay in Colombia. They don't want to leave their country just to chase a dream here. They believe that Colombia as a nation will never solve it's problems as long as the people keep fleeing the country. I really respect their attitudes.
BTW, my friend's husband has a Ph.D. in Civil Engineering from an American university.

As far as my pursuit and marital status is concerned, let me shed a little more light on you. If you continue this process, you'll come to find that to be successful, it takes time. Years, not months. Basically, I was 25 when I started searching. I was looking for a serious relationship that would lead to marriage. I didn't, and I still don't, want to get married until I finish school. I have other things going on in my life that I consider as equally important as finding a wife, for example my career. Right now, I don't want to set aside or delay my career goals for any woman. So, for the time being, I have laid off in the search. I'm 27 now.

Mike, you have allot to learn. Which is expected. You are still very young. Actually, it's good that you started posting on this board because you can learn from other peoples experiences, and gain some wisdom. If you learn from this process, you wont be like some others who make the same mistakes over and over again, picking the wrong type of women, and then one or two years later being divorced with pain in your hurt, and holding a grudge against all Latinos.

I'm not trying to boast, nor be an elitist. I'm just trying to help you, and anyone else, see things in another perspective.

Aaron