Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives
July 19, 2025, 01:24:35 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: This board is a BROWSE and SEARCH only board. Please IGNORE the Registration - no registration necessary. No new posts allowed. It contains the archived posts from the Planet-Love.com website from approximately 2001 through 2005.
 
   Home   Help Search Login Register  
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
« previous next »
  Print  
Author Topic: My Story! Part IV  (Read 7817 times)
SteveB
Guest
« on: October 26, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
Please let me explain,  I am only posting this story to help others, some need to hear what happen to other people so they can learn from mistakes made.

After victoria and i return to cali from Lago Calima, we decided to get married.  I paid a notary to claim her first marriage had never been registered.  So, thru bribes and lack of paperwork,,we were able to get married in july, 1999.  I stayed a week longer in Cali, and now the brat son was even more of a pain.  The grandmother and great grandmother tried to give the boy some guidedance, but his mother treated him like the king of the castle.  He wasn't about to share that with me or anyone.  A side note..... at this time, I realize he was big problem, but then,,,,i thought i would be the father he needed.   To give you just one example....After we were married,,,,Victoria invited her best friend and husband to her casa in Cali,,,,,We sent out for chinese food and coke.  I saw the brat gulping the coke down and drinking more so no one else could have another drink.  He only thought of himself, and was very spoiled.  I understand he was only 8 years old, but, that is the time to help kids grow into adulthood.

I returned to the states at the end of July, 1999.  Next segment will talk about there arrival in sept 1999.

Steveb the dmf  according to ho duh!
Logged
Wayne
Guest
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to My Story!  Part IV, posted by SteveB on Oct 26, 2001

Pointing out the mistakes that these guys made is just plain lame.  Believe me, those of us that have made mistakes are well aware of every single one of them.  We have kicked ourselves enough and don't need it from someone else.  This is a good board and we should encourage all posts without ridicule.  Besides these stories are really fun to read.

Engaged in 3 days, married a Russian model in 3 months, divorced after 4 years, and we are friends.  Good ride, yes, painful yes,  do it again, differently maybe.

Another dmf
Logged
El Diablo
Guest
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: My Story!  Part IV  Take it easy guy..., posted by Wayne on Oct 27, 2001

I disagree with your premise.   A lot of guys and gals in this adventure make mistakes and are in total denial about their responsibility and how it affects others in the process. Human nature is such that we are likely to repeat  the same behavior again and again unless some drastic action is taken.

I think a little constructive critisicm and peer pressure could go a long way in making things better for everyone.  As someone said recently, there's not ONE way to go about this process but I do believe there are some general things we might be able to have some concensus on.  For example, one thing that drives me nuts is when gringos give money and lavish gifts to women they barely know.   This is extremely unwise for a lot of reasons and it makes it more difficult for everyone else as gifts and money bring out the sharks.

El Diablo
Logged
Wayne
Guest
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Re: My Story!  Part IV  Take it easy..., posted by El Diablo on Oct 27, 2001

Yea, I agree

But, there is a difference between constructive criticism and calling a guy a DMF.  Or, do you always speak to your friends that way?
Logged
El Diablo
Guest
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Re: Re: My Story!  Part IV  Take it ..., posted by Wayne on Oct 28, 2001


I suggest you reread the posts, what little comments were made were pretty tame by Planet - Love standards.  And btw, I never used the acronym you are suggesting I did.
Logged
Hoda
Guest
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Re: My Story!  Part IV  Take it easy..., posted by El Diablo on Oct 27, 2001

I hear ya Pete,

The sharks know the routine. They know the territory & they know their prey. Forums such as these are here to reduce the pool of prey for the sharks. Somewhere along this path, EVERYONE has had someone else to pull their coat, when it's looks like you're heading for trouble. SILENCE, in not telling guys to check themselves BEFORE & DURING there adventure is LAME. There are as many different ways as there are men, who look outside the borders of U.S.& Canada to find & be found by love. The medicine can sometimes be bitter, but we've all had to take it...

Peace...Hoda
Logged
El Diablo
Guest
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Sharks can smell blood...., posted by Hoda on Oct 28, 2001


Hey Hoda, I'm El Diablo, not Pete! (-:
Logged
Pete E
Guest
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to My Story!  Part IV, posted by SteveB on Oct 26, 2001

Steve,
Thanks for posting your story.Alot of us have been pointing out your overlooking the red flags,but guys do get caught up in this(even smart guys)and its usefull for guys getting started to see some of the pitfalls.The attention of a beautifull woman can be intoxicating.To many of us its so exciting after the way we have been treated in the US.I acted rashly myself(engaged in 5 days,married in 2 months),but I got lucky  it seems.Also spoiled and clingy step son(but a good kid),but its working out.
Question.Why did you wait untill now to post?

Pete
Logged
El Diablo
Guest
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Thanks for posting,mistakes and all, posted by Pete E on Oct 27, 2001


Pete,

Your post intimates at something that I have observed continually in my dealings with Colombian families and in particular my ex-novia.  And that is that little Colombian boys are babied much more in Latin culture than in our own.  I'm not sure why this is so but it really jumps out at you when you spend a bit of time in Colombia for example.

I'm not a psychologist but I wonder how the excessive babying (at least in my opinion) impacts the personality of the child as he matures.  I wonder what impact if any, this plays in the development of the machisimo attidudes of men.

El Diablo
Logged
Pete E
Guest
« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Thanks for posting,mistakes and all, posted by El Diablo on Oct 27, 2001

ED,
Yes,I think you are right.Colombians tend to not discipline their boys and it contributes to their attitude that they can do what they want.Conversely the girls are raised to be subservient,and I think both of these things contribute to the macho factor.
My step son is not an extreme case of this because he was raised by his mother and grandmother and they are both strong willed people,but we did have a big adjustment problem.
When they first came to the states I took them to Disney World.All he wanted to do is look at toys in the shops.Here I am paying $150 a day to be in the park and we can't get him to move on to the real attractions.I told him my father would have kicked my butt if I did that(ignored us) and my wife got real mad.She said her parents never hit her.I found out that was not true recently when she told me a story about her mother taking a belt to her for something she had done.
The other thing that anoyed me greatly was his whining.He has it down to an art.He has a whole tone of voice when he goes in to a whine.I have seen this in skits on spanish TV.I guess it is something cultural.
We are doing much better now and he has adjusted to me and his mother now gets on his case also.I have often thought a girl would have been much easier.
Like in the US,spoiling kids has its pros and cons.I knew a woman who would not discipline her brat because she did not want to "break his spirit."People who grow up to think the sun rises and sets on them can be a real pain in the butt,but they can also have a sense of self esteem that can be usefull in life.Conversly,being overbearing with a child can hurt their self esteem.
I can't help thinking back to my father and grandfather.There was no BS from kids in their houses.My father said if he and his 2 brothers were acting up at the diner table my grandfather could slap all three of them with one swipe of the hand.
Anyone thinking of marrying a woman with kids should take a close look at the situation and talk it over with the potential wife.

Pete
Logged
MikePastore
Guest
« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Thanks for posting,mistakes and all, posted by Pete E on Oct 27, 2001

I am continually amazed by people who have never raised children to think that they are authorities on parenting. I have two daughters and I have never, not once, ever had their behavior questioned by other, and especially single parents. I can only accept advice from someone who has walked a mile in my shoes, then they can point out a child who is considered "spoiled". My rant for the day.
Logged
Pete E
Guest
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Non-Parents Amaze Me, posted by MikePastore on Oct 27, 2001

Mike,
I do have a son of my own who is now grown.No one ever,ever would have called him spoiled.It kind of goes with my family history,the parents are in charge and the kids jump when you say jump.
I will post above under El diablo's comments in more detail.

Pete
Logged
El Diablo
Guest
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Non-Parents Amaze Me, posted by MikePastore on Oct 27, 2001


None of the people who posted either claimed to be an authority or indicated that parenting was easy. No one was giving out advice either but rather commenting on a child's behavior.  A person doesn't have to be a parent to observe the behavior of children, whether it be good or bad.  I'm not a parent but I've seen children who are well behaved and I've seen others who are little brats as others have commented.  I don't need to be a parent to understand brat like behavior!!

El Diablo
Logged
SteveB
Guest
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Non-Parents Amaze Me, posted by MikePastore on Oct 27, 2001

I probably have first hand knowledge about kids,,I have been a teacher for 23 years,,so go to a school and see for yourself!!! Kids are still good,,,but the parents have no idea what or how to discipline them.  You sound like a parent that lets the kid be in control...lots of luck!!!
Logged
DaveyRich1
Guest
« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »
... in response to Thanks for posting,mistakes and all, posted by Pete E on Oct 27, 2001

I agree with Pete You live and learn I went to Cali 4 times I thought I had it all figured out I met many beautiful women had some great relationships I said I would never meet someone and propose in a week I use to make jokes about those guys then i did the same thing I married on September 2nd she arrived on September 21 and it is great You should never say never Good luck Gringos
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
  Print  
« previous next »
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1 RC2 | SMF © 2001-2005, Lewis Media Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!