Green Card Sharks? Here's your REAL concern.

[humabdos]

... in response to 99% is..., posted by shadow on Apr 23, 2001

Yep larry lets see what they say when it happends to them! Not that I would wish that on anyone!  Humabdos

[Ray]

... in response to Re: 99% is..., posted by humabdos on Apr 23, 2001

You say you wouldn't wish that on anyone, but you sure seem to use that same line a lot: "lets see what they say when it happends to them!"

So, you think you're the only ones around here who have been dumped by a Filipina? Wrong! My first wife (Filipina) walked out on me so I've been there also. Which one of your two categories would you place my ex-wife into? Gold Digger or Green Card Shark? She left after 23 years of marriage, approximately 20 years after she got her US citizenship, and she sure didn't take any bags of gold with her :-)

I was just curious Hum. Approximately how many days after she got her permanent green card did YOUR wife walk out? If she was a Green Card Shark, then I guess the answer would be a few days or less, right? Or was she in the Gold Digger category, holding out for that 24ct solid-gold vacuum cleaner? (ROFL)

My whole point is that marriages fail for a wide variety of reasons. If you want to continue to wallow in self-pity and blame you’re failed marriage on the Green Card Sharks and Gold Diggers, that’s fine with me. Some of us have chosen to learn from the past and then get on with our lives, instead of wishing doom and failure on others who choose this route in life. But, to each his own. I think you’ll get over it with time. Took me almost 3 years.

This foreign marriage thing is definitely not for everyone and I cringe sometimes when I read some of the posts from newcomers. Some of them sound like they’re shopping for a car or something. I think everyone needs to be very careful when getting into this game, but you can go too far also with this paranoid attitude that some have. It’s always good to warn the new guys about the dangers involved, but you  (not you specifically) really don’t need to insult those that have a more positive approach.

Ray

[shadow]

... in response to When it happens to them..., posted by Ray on Apr 24, 2001

I agree with much of what you have posted here recently. However, if you cringe when you read some of the posts by the newbies, then why would you make a statement that 99% are not green card sharks? Is that sending the message to them to be careful? Seems to me that would be sending the message to them that there is nothing to look out for, or beware of. That is not the case here. Quite the contrary.

Obviously, someone who divorces after 23 years of marriage doesn't fall into the category of green card shark nor gold digger. You are right on the point that marriages (and other relationships) fail for a variety of reasons. Usually no ONE person is to blame. When one goes into a relationship for the purpose mainly being financial gain, or to gain residency of another country, then a good portion of the blame will shift to that person for the reason they will usually lie and deceive to accomplish their goal.

To me, the most important things in ANY relationship are honesty and trust. Lack of honesty destroys the trust. Without these two elements, what do you have?

[may10]

... in response to Ray., posted by shadow on Apr 24, 2001

I am glad that you have started the healing process....*s*

Now (!)...don't you frown......(!)...*s*...your words give you away.  

Welcome back, Larry.  *s*

[Carl]

... in response to Ray., posted by shadow on Apr 24, 2001

I agree. honesty, trust, creates Respect. With mutual
respect, is the core of real love. If not there, then what do we have? an empty path or as some might say, a path full of trash.
Carl

[humabdos]

... in response to More on Green Card Sharks, posted by Ray on Apr 23, 2001

That sounds like something Steve B would say. I guess he got that 1%  If what you say is true why does the INS make it so hard???   Well when I ask this down at the embassy they said the PI is responsible for 60,000 fraudulent cases a year entering the us more than half of those marriages. No I don't have that in writing but he wasn't joking when he said it. Ray You have been around this board and Mag anak long enough to know it happends. Most of these guy drop out of sight and are never heard from again.  Over on mag anak they just cover it up telling lies "that all is ok"  well ok if thats what you want to think.... I am not here to say that there aren't the bad kano's who want a slave or a maid or just to controll someone its also all to common I have seen this more than the gold digger or card shark problema. YES thats what I said I have seen more filipinas end up with a bad kano than bad filipinas with a good kano.  

Many times its some big fat bald smelly guy in his 50's who has no social skills whatsoever who marries some 20 year old fox expecting her to be happy. Well guess what it rarely works for more than 3 to 5 years if that.  Sorry all you over weight bald guys! Please don't blast me for that! Fat bald guys deserve love too! But why would you pick a 19 year old beauty queen ? how about picking a thirty year old maybe slightly over weight too she would make an excelent wife  and probley never leave you.  Once you get that beauty queen here and she sees all these young studs with money and nice cars hovering around her telling her she is beautful how long do you figure she will stay around?  o well I have been rambeling on  blab blab blab   Bahala na

 sorry if I offended any over weight bald guys! It was not my intension, and my spelling  yeiks! lol   Humabdos

[SteveY]

... in response to More on Green Card Sharks, posted by Ray on Apr 23, 2001

I don't post that often but agree totally with what you have said. I trust my wife and I know she trust me and we will do everything in our power to make our relationship work. I know things will be so different than the Philippines and we have talked about this often. I have tried to prepare her the best that I could and once she is here I will be there for her to comfort and guide her through the good and bad times that may come. I just want to add that there are others out there that feel the way I do.

[Carl]

... in response to Re: More on Green Card Sharks, posted by SteveY on Apr 23, 2001

n/t

[Carrisse]

... in response to More on Green Card Sharks, posted by Ray on Apr 23, 2001

I've been dying to say what you just did, I just didn't know how to say the words together. Thank you, my sentiments exactly.

[cc]

... in response to Green Card Sharks? Here's your REAL conc..., posted by Jeff S on Apr 23, 2001

Very good comments, Jeff! I personally know couples who have moved back to the Philippines for their retirement years. There are two points to this: for one, as you say foreigners (especially from poor Countries) have no good concept about what life in the US actually is like, and how could they!? Second (and equally important), most Americans have no concept about foreign life styles either and believe that the US is "the greatest Country in the World" and that everyone else has no desires but to come here. Wrong - it's always a "mixed bag"! Plus homesickness is VERY real!

[nealtl]

... in response to Green Card Sharks? Here's your REAL conc..., posted by Jeff S on Apr 23, 2001

u

[DavidT]

... in response to Green Card Sharks? Here's your REAL conc..., posted by Jeff S on Apr 23, 2001

.

[humabdos]

... in response to Green Card Sharks? Here's your REAL conc..., posted by Jeff S on Apr 23, 2001

Jeff I think the green card thing is far less common for Japanese than filipinos or russian brides. You can belive what you want but its not that uncommon. I have seen it first hand. How do you think Filipinos got that stigma? I will admit GI JOE helped things along by marring bar girls from AC or subic bay (no i didn't say all filipinas who met ther husbands in those places are hookers!) I can tell you that  these card sharks are very very hard to spot. Now a gold digger is easy to spot because she always has dirt under her finger nails ;-)

Btw Jeff most Japanese women would only marry someone with a good job like a degreed engineer ;-) You woundn't find many(if any) who would marry a Karpintero like myself. The mother & father would never stand for it!  

As for the latinas its so easy for them to get here they just need to know how to swim !

Your right about the adjustment time it will take at least three years.

I have decided to look for a rich filipina so I can move to the Philippines and have her support me and my scuba diving habit and work on my tan. I wont rule out a rich Japanese lady do you know of any you can recommend?   Humabdos