Like everything else in life...the more time we invest and the more prepared we are, the better the chances of a successful outcome. It would be great if we all had months to live in Cali or some other place in our quest to find a partner...we don't. So comes the "desperation factor" that so many men and women have in this process. Some things just can't be rushed! We don't rush the process here in our own countries so why have the stupidity to do it abroad?

There is no single answer, only different approaches. I probably met more honest women just cruising the malls, parks, clubs, and zoo in Cali than at the agencies.  Just goes to show that odds and chances are dependent upon the environments we choose to work in.

The threads are great guys and the honesty is refreshing.

Congratulations.

1. It's just as important, if not more so, to BE the right person as it is to FIND the right person. A man who is a mature, thoughtful, normal person without excess emotional baggage from past failed relationships will find MANY more suitable potential mates than someone who thinks a woman from another culture (and for that reason alone) will solve all his problems. Like attracts like.

2. I can't speak for others, but my attraction to Latin women is cultural (OK, I think they're very pretty as well), and thus I find different values in most latin women that generally do not exist in my own culture. This also increases (rather than decreases) my chances of finding a suitable mate, since I find most latin women appealing in one way or another.

3. Women in all countries, including the US, generally outnumber men, more so in countries afflicted by war. This is another factor that increases my chances by giving me a larger potential pool of candidates.

4. The more screwed-up a country is, economically, socially or politically, the more motivated people are to leave and seek a life elsewhere. This is the basis for our own pluralistic society. First to leave are wealthy businesspeople, engineers, scientists and doctors, followed by anyone else who has something of value in another society; ie: good looks and good values. I've seen it firsthand in many places like the former USSR and Bosnia. So I find that most of these women have decent motivation to come to my country, but any opportunist would also jump on this bandwagon. The number of scammers is high, but so is the number of decent women whom I have to believe outnumber the bad manzanas.

5. Don't rely solely on the agencies. In sales, you increase chances by increasing the number of calls you make. Ever thought of writing more letters and making fewer trips? I have had good success with Amigos.com and other pen-pal websites. Also, why does everyone go to Cali? You might want to branch out a bit. Try Peru, Brazil, Panama or Ecuador. I have been told that the Dominican Republic leads Latin America in the number of foreign-US marriages.

6. The better prepared you are the luckier you'll be. Learn Spanish and you will multiply by 10 the number of women you can meet, talk to, write to. You will increase the number of mothers who will introduce you to their daughters, friends who will introduce you to sisters, cousins and best friends, etc. I am no chick magnet by any stretch of the imagination, but when I travel to Latin America I generally get more attention from women than I have time for.

7. A common phrase used in Latin America is "Si Dios quiere" (if God wants). Don't abandon your search techniques, but be open to the workings of God (or Fate or whatever). In my case, I just happened to wander into mi novia's workplace one day, where we were both instantly hit by romantic sparks aplenty. No way I could have planned that, and had I been preoccupied with my own methodology I'd have missed it entirely.

Dunno if this helps - it's just my 2 cent's worth. Concentrate on the factors that work in your favor and strengthen them, and I imagine that you will have more success.

Call it fate, dumb luck or whatever. I never expected to find & be found by my novia, considering my game plane...

We're just glad it happened......Hoda

Howdy H2-OH,

I might go along with you in saying that less than 10 women in a hundred are the type that I'd consider for marriage.  However that doesn't mean my odds are 10% or less that I'd find the special one because I am not choosing or dating women randomly.  Each of us is using some kind of screening process to get down to those 5 or 10 women in a hundred that we'd be compatible with.  If a persons screening process is refined and they are willing to invest at least three or four trips to L.A., the odds of finding a good woman for marriage go way up IMO.  I'd say at least 50%.

El Diablo

Remember, remember, remember...THIS IS A TWO WAY PROCESS. You are not the only ones doing the choosing...

Peace...Hoda

Pete