K1 or Spousal how do they stack up ???

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: At a loss for words, posted by Anony Mouse on Jul 29, 2001

Hmmmmm...let's see ...a PC warm and fuzzy way of saying you appear to be doing what your critasizeing Jim for...Hmmmm...**ie:Yours is truly a sad story. **

I've always wondered if the cut was really different the sharper the blade ??  Always seemed to me intent took precedence over how deep the cut went.

HD

[Anony Mouse]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: At a loss for words, posted by Houndog on Jul 29, 2001

Houndog

This thread is getting old and it's almost time to let it fall into the archives.  But before it goes I'll try to respond to your comment.
I'm no better than Jim.  I jumped on Jim because he uses personal attacks to play holier than thou with the others on this board.  He criticizes our lack of commitment in choosing to petition for a K-1 and then, by the way, it turns out he lived with a Colombiana and didn't marry her.
So I wanted to know if he left her because she was unfaithful.  I was gathering information before I accused him of hypocrisy.  I didn't want to level my accusation and then have him say that he caught her in bed with the Colombian national football team.  But even if he did, he lived with her before marrying her.  That's what most of us do with a K-1.
I think Jim's got an important message.  I just think he needs to deliver it without the personal attacks.  I believe he can change more minds and behavior if he doesn't alienate the reader first.  Jim seems like a reasonable man.  After he gets through defending himself by attacking me he may rethink his approach.  (My letter's are starting to sound like epistles from Apostle Paul.)

Mr. Mouse

[jim c]

... in response to Second verse, same as the first, posted by Anony Mouse on Jul 30, 2001

Dear Mighty Mouse

  How are things in Metropolis. Now that you have registered your new identity, I am glad your intent is to save the helpless and undernourished on this forum from bad guys like me.  I just have a little problem with you hiding your real identity and sniping from the dark.

    I believe that posting under two identities allows one to fulfill fantasys and be less than honest with  portrayals of who you really are.  Your excuse of gathering info about my relationship before attacking me is just so many droppings. I would prefer that you stand up for what you believe and decide if you are a man or a mouse.

     I will be polite with you this time because you appear to be sensitive to sarcasm.

    You keep going back to living with someone in Colombia vs the US that was never the point. The point was the K1 visa places a foreign woman in a economic and socially dangereous position and should not be taken lightly.  To return with out a home or a job in Colombia is veritable suicide and once in the US often the woman is trapped. I could care less about who lives with who or where. My concern is why and has anyone bothered to think if those ninety days are really going to indicate the lifelong success of a relationship. Another question is how many women would choose the K1.

As to a new and more compassionate jim c forget it. You just keep writing those epistles to your apostles.

[jim c]

... in response to Second verse, same as the first, posted by Anony Mouse on Jul 30, 2001

Dear Mighty Mouse

  How are things in Metropolis. You have registered your new identity. I am glad your intent is to save the helpless and undernourished on this forum from bad guys like me.  I just have a little problem with you hiding your real identity and sniping from the dark.

     I believe that posting under two identities allows one to fulfill fantasys and be less than honest with your portrayals of who you really are.  Your excuse of gathering info about my relationship before attacking me is just so many droppings. I prefer that you be honest,stand up for what you believe and indicate if you are a man or a mouse. I will be polite with you this time because you appear to be sensitive to sarcasm.

    You keep going back to living with someone in Colombia vs the US. That was never the point. The point was the K1 visa places a foreign woman in a economic and socially dangereous position, this should not be taken lightly.  To return with out a home or a job to Colombia is veritable suicide and once she is in the US she is trapped. I could care less about who lives with who or where. My concern is why and has anyone bothered to think if those ninety days are really going to indicate the lifelong success of a relationship. Lets be honest here its a screwed up system and full of people who want love and are not willing to wait for it. So they take risks and often damage anothers life. I just feel some on this list need to think about the gravity of displacing a woman to be sure they love her.

As far as a new and more compassionate jim c, forget it, just import Larry G if you have the need.

[Houndog]

... in response to Second verse, same as the first, posted by Anony Mouse on Jul 30, 2001

My point was...and I think you got it...we all act/react in less than ideal ways at times. You both have a message and relivant points of view . You went fishing, he refused the bait...oh well.

As far as teaching...there are many "theories" on the best way. High Schools have their theory..the Marines have their theory...life has it's theory...they are all relivant and viable. Now learning...that's another story....some learn from any and every oppurtunity and type of lesson....others seemingly don't, no matter how the lesson is layed out.

So...IMO...we throw all the ways we can out into the mix...and let those that want to learn take from where and what they need and want. The rest? Who knows ? or cares.

HD

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: At a loss for words, posted by Anony Mouse on Jul 29, 2001


""""Back to the theme of this thread, I don't believe it makes any difference whether you live with the woman here or there. If you were living with her there, she still told you "You leave me with no dignity"."""""

Hey Mouse,

I think it may make a difference to many families and to my novia also.  For instance, my novia's family would NEVER approve of us living together in Cali but they would approve of her coming to the States on a K-1.  This might seem like a contradiction on first thought but if you really think about it, it is not.  The reality is, is that a K-1 is a much more serious route. The parties make a proclamation to our government that they are engaged and are planning on marriage within the 90 day period.  Their are legal responsibilities attached and it involves a level of commitment that is not attained with just living together.

In my own case, if I lived with my novia prior to any real commitment, her family would very likely perceive this as a trial run.  They may accept it as my novia is an adult however they would never embrace it.  To be honest, they are not entirely comfortable with a K-1 either however there is clearly a difference in perception.  Now it should be noted that this attitude is changing among the new generation but the older generations still hold to more traditional values.  I traveled to Cali for four months last year to spend more time with my ex-novia, not because of any great virtue but rather first because I could and second because the K-1 scared me.  For me, the K-1 was a much more serious committment and quite frankly, one  I wasn't prepared to make at that point in our relationship.

El Diablo

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: At a loss for words, posted by El Diablo on Jul 29, 2001

El D, I agree that the K1 is a very serious commitment. Yes it has an escape hatch, or safety net built in, but IT'S REAL AND SERIOUS..none the less. One must be 'engaged to marry' to file for a K1 not just dating..as far as the Gov. is concerned otherwise it's visa fraud.  Now there are people that try to abuse the purpose of these visa's as we all know. But it is designed with marriage within 90 days as the outcome. And IMO...marriage in 90 is serious, not just a whim or a lark.

HD

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: At a loss for words, posted by Houndog on Jul 29, 2001

I agree Houndog, that's why I never filed a K-1.  I had a serious novia last year but I wasn't prepared to make a commitment at this level.  I was suggesting to the Mouse that in many cases I believe a K-1 could be a more serious sign of commitment then just living together.

El Diablo

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: At a loss for words, posted by jim c on Jul 27, 2001

Jim, I can assure you Anona is a different guy than below. Yea, I know how can I know...trust me on this I can tell.

Second..believe it or not, from what I'm reading you guys aren't that far apart in philosophy. From my chair I'm agreeing with both of you. This is not about morals as you stated...it's about character. Those lacking character abuse the power they may have over the women. And I agree with Anona that getting engaged and getting married is that...a complete fullfilment of ones intentions. There is no deception in doing what one says he will do. No matter the type of visa. And the truth is there are abuses using both types of visa's. It's the people involved that create the abuse not the type of visa. I assure you of that.

I think if you guys think about the roots of both of your positions you will see that you really aren't that far apart IMO.

HD

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Clarification please, posted by jim c on Jul 27, 2001


I agree grumpy guy, if a guy's going to shack up so to speak, it's more respectful to do it in her home town.  (-:  

El Diablo

[Anony mouse]

... in response to Re: Re: Clarification please, posted by El Diablo on Jul 27, 2001

You win this week's biggest laugh award.  
Muchas gracias.

Mr. Mouse

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: Clarification please, posted by El Diablo on Jul 27, 2001

Oh yea I agree. LMAO...good one El D.

HD

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: K1 or Spousal how do they stack up ?..., posted by Pete E on Jul 26, 2001

In the above post I meant to say I know the fiance visa is smart for the guy.
Pete

[Viajero]

... in response to K1 or Spousal how do they stack up , posted by Houndog on Jul 26, 2001

The fiancee visa is quicker to obtain, and if your beloved has second thoughts she can back out and go home in 90 days, no harm, no foul. Hopefully you and she have become reasonably well-acquainted before that, and 90 days together should enhance, but not replace your courtship.

I know a guy who married a Peruvian woman, and it took him over 2 years to get her here on a spouse visa. Reason? INS is aware that there are in fact some women who marry Americans and then divorce them once they are here. This is (or was) a common method for the Russian Mafia to get their prostitutes to our golden shores with minimum hassle. Thus, there is more red tape to cut through.

A fiancee visa helps alleviate problems like that, since with a fiancee visa she has to be married for 2 years after she ties the knot with you. On a spouse visa she can divorce you the day after she gets here. Not that any of us will ever have that happen to us, but it helps to be smart and avoid the big hassles associated with INS red tape.

I understand that there are some changes per the current Bush administration to allow spouse visas to be processed while the wife waits here in the US with her husband. They recognize that there has been a problem in this area, and this is a step to correct that. INS field offices should have more info, but for me the preferred method is the tried and true fiancee visa.

[TexRob]

... in response to K1 is a good idea, IMO, posted by Viajero on Jul 26, 2001

If and when I am faced with this issue I will consider nothing but a K1.  I will be happy to provide her with an apartment for this time and I will not expect free milk without buying the cow.  My concern is her having time to experience this country and truly understand what she is doing.  A woman is a more emotional than logical creature and I want her to have every opportunity to realize the full impact of being away from family and friends.  

Just my thoughts