help with my new novia

[young gun]

my novia an i met in feb, at norms place had a great time staying there. an met lots of great women i met a women s. maria    
great girl she was all i wanted in a women but as most of the women in cali she were those high heels so that hide her true height
from me an i really don't like short women. but this girl has a great smile an a good heart. i just fell in love with i would say she's
is an 8. i was told not to follow in love with the first girl i see an she was not i was in call for almost three weeks before i ask her to marry me. i should tell as far as i know an from what norms i am mostly the youngest guy to go to cali looking for a wife 26 i know that sounds young but even guys my age get tried of money hungry women in the states. now my novia is 21 had had her going to english but she got sick an fell to far behind. my plan was to have her in classes for 6 months before she came to the u.s. but now she wants to takes the classes in the u.s. an my spanish is not that good i want to make her time hear as easy as i can. so what do you think should sick to the plan make her take the classes in cali or give in. help guy i sent her k1 papers off 2 weeks ago.

[Pete E]

... in response to help with my new novia, posted by young gun on Jul 27, 2001

Its good to have her study english there,but she will do better with it here because she will have to use it also,so I wouldn't delay for this.The K-1 will give you a little insurance if knowing her so short of a time is an issue.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to help with my new novia, posted by young gun on Jul 27, 2001

Its good to have her study english there,but she will do better with it here because she will have to use it also,so I wouldn't delay for this.The K-1 will give you a little insurance if knowing her so short of a time is an issue.

Pete

[Houndog]

... in response to help with my new novia, posted by young gun on Jul 27, 2001

While we can never know by reading what others write with total certianty, it sounds like from what you're saying that she might not want to study and go to school.  It's pretty hard to make someone do something they don't want to do.

Maybe she doesn't understand how important English is to her happiness, wellbeing and FREEDOM. And you may not be able to get those points across while she is there. It will definately hit home when she gets here. Like a ton of bricks.

From hearing about my wifes friends that are here now, and didn't want to learn or didn't take it seriously, they didn't like being trapped in another world AT ALL. Some were VERY homesick to the point of crying every day because of feeling trapped, isolated and left out. Watch 'only' a Spanish TV station for a day or just a few hours and you will get a glimpse of what the isolation will feel like to her.

So what to do....depends on what type of person you are...since we can't change other people...are we capable of dealing with the coming issues is the real question IMO. Can you give her the TIME, PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING to lead her, encourage her, comfort her, and 'carry her' while she begins the process of adjusting, understanding and then adapting to her new life in a new and different world ? IMO that's the real question you should try to answer for yourself. If you think you can. Then prepare yourself to communicate with her the best you can in time remaining and deal with the issues with huge quantities of patience and understanding as they develop.

A tip....COMMUNICATING...goes far beyond mere spoken words.

Regards, HD

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: help with my new novia, posted by Houndog on Jul 27, 2001

.. and I might add, it depends on where you live. In Southern Texas, Southern California, and a few other places, knowing English to get by in everyday life is not nearly as important as if you live in outside areas with major hispanic communities. Commuicating with each other is another matter entirely and the more you can communicate and really undertand each other's personalities, needs, and desires, before you actually get married, the better.
-- Jeff S.

[Houndog]

... in response to Good advice HD, posted by Jeff S on Jul 27, 2001

Jeff, My 'tip' on communicating means that mere words are the weakest link in the communcating chain. It's deeds and actions that either negate or validate mere words.

Even though my wife and I can't communicate 100% with words yet...our deeds and actions to each other say far more than a few words or a lot of words ever could. For example, you can comfort a woman with words, however with a hug and a shoulder you can comfort and calm them. Deeds and Actions are the fullest measure of communication IMO.

Regards, HD

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Jeff..a clarification, posted by Houndog on Jul 27, 2001

So very true - and something important to point out. My wife and I were married for years before we understood everything each other said - but that didn't mean we didn't communicate well.
-- Jeff S.

[cjweir]

... in response to help with my new novia, posted by young gun on Jul 27, 2001

calm down, usually once the visa is approved you really have 6 months, once she actually arrives it is 3 months. so for example if you get a visa in january, and she doesn't leave until march for the states, when she arrives that when the 90 days begins