My story part 3

[H2-Oh]

It's been about a month since I last wrote the continuation of my story.
After Bud told me to marry Sandra and I told him he was smoking something, he proceeded to tell me why I should consider marrying her. I thought about what he said for a few days and decided that maybe this could work if she was as great a girl as Bud and his wife Adrianna said. Over the next few weeks me and my personal assistant worked with Gary Bala to get all my papers together and Adrianna worked with Sandra in Cali to get her papers together. On April 28th, 2000 I flew to Cali and checked into the Pacifico Royal Hotel. The next day I met Sandra at one in the afternoon and asked her to marry me. Guess what?! she said yes. Surprise. We planned the Wedding for 4 or 5 days later to give time to prepare. The next day I found out that the Colombian boyfriend that my novia had left was now looking for her all over Cali and he was a bad guy, if you know what I mean. So we decided to get married the next day at the hotel. When I told my good friend John Bradshaw that afternoon that I was getting married he was in shock. I will never forget his face. Talk about deer in the headlights look!! So on Sunday Sandra and I sat at a table with her family and an attorney and signed documents in about 6 or 8 places and I was married to a girl that I had known for about a total of 20 hrs.and had never even kissed. OK, I know this was not the smartest move...........so it was probably the stupidest thing I'd ever done. Well I was married. Who was this new wife I had, I hadn't spend any time alone with her and tonight was suppose to be our wedding night!! I was confused.... what to do......call Bud. OK genius now you've got me into this, what do I do tonight??Bud just said," be gentle". Great. I won't go into the details but it was an early nights sleep for me and I'm sure a night of fear for Sandra. Anyways we got throught that and where off to Bogota to the embassy to get the spousal visa started. We went to the embassy and they told us to come back in 10 working days to have the interview and get the visa. so we went on a honeymoon to San Andreas and Cartegna. we came back a few days early to Bogota to get afew loose end taken care of and off to the interview. The day of the interview we arrived late to the gate at the entrance of the embassy. I had to fight with the rent a cop to get in, then go to our embassy personel to get my wife in the door. We got in and gave our papers to the interviewer at the windows. Then the wait......... what was the interview going to be like? I had heard so many stories about how hard it was to get through the interview. We practiced my mothers name, my fathers name and all my family. What kind of questions,was he or she going to be in a bad mood today?? The moment of truth finally arrived about 1:30pm. We went to the window and a interviewer with a smile on his face spoke to me first through the bullet proof window. He asked his first question," What do you do"? I told him, his second question" Where do you live"? I told him and he said he had a friend from my city and we talked for about another 2 minutes about his friend and my city. Then he looked at me and with a smile on his face he said have a nice life with your wife and come get your visa at 4:00 pm, your approved!!!!! Not one question for my scared little wife, not one!!! We made it through. After 3 weeks in Colombia I was going home.......with someone I hardly knew.....fear.
to be continued.....the states with Sandra

[DallasSteve]

... in response to My story part 3, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 13, 2001

I think this story is a good argument for getting a K-1 visa instead of DCF (getting married in her country).  It doesn't hurt to know the woman for a few months before you marry her (and have to sign the 10-plus year support agreement).  The DCF is so fast now that you can swept away with a beautiful woman.  

I hope this works out well for H2-oh and his wife.  Sounds a little like Abraham and Sarah.  That one worked out OK, I guess.

Steve

[JunFanTX]

... in response to Re: My story part 3, posted by DallasSteve on Jul 16, 2001

I agree.  The K-1 serves as a 'cooling off' period.  It forces you to think about it while here in the United States before you file for it.  It sure does help to be able to take a step back and make sure it is the way you wanna go.

Later,
Mike

[TG]

... in response to My story part 3, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 13, 2001

.

[JunFan68]

... in response to My story part 3, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 13, 2001

this is unreal. You otta be bent over and spanked like a red-headed stepchild. I don't want to break it off in you, but what in the h*ll did you do down there? It seems some guys on this board have spent more time selecting a dog than they would selecting a wife.  Your story reminds me of how it went when I got my tattoo.  It all happened so fast and then I when I realized it was permanent, I was calling my friend who I got it with seeking reassurance...lol.  A WIFE, ya know...the person you will be living with until you die or are divorced!

I think the newbies have an opportunity to learn alot from this experience.  Before you go, you must really get comfortable with your expectations given the resources that you have.  You cannot go down there desperate, on the rebound, drunk or whatever and expect to be able to make good decisions. In other words, don't go down there 1/2 cocked.

unbelievable!!

Mike

www.sparhard.com/colombia.htm

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: My story part 3, posted by JunFan68 on Jul 14, 2001

I know H2-OH well and I can tell you he didn't go down drunk or desperate.But he is the kind of a guy who if he finds just what he is looking for will just go for it.I know this sounds crazy,but sometimes you can just sense the quality of the person and you just go for it.
If you are into being carefull and logical I guess it sounds pretty crazy.I have an advantage here,I know where this story is going,ands its pretty interesting.

Pete

[JunFan68]

... in response to Re: Re: My story part 3, posted by Pete E on Jul 15, 2001

Pete,
Didn't go down there desperate or drunk huh?  Then what was it?  He very may not have been, but the result is much the same.  But however he went down there, he made poor decisions from the start.  You have to have a clear mind when you go to Colombia like that, it's just too much.  The culture, the sounds, the food, the beautiful women, the beer, etc...it's sensory overload, especially if you are not used to that kind of attention.  It is imperative that you make good decisions downthere given how overwhelming that place can be.  Sometimes it feels kinda surreal when I'm down there, like it's a whole other world (which it is...lol) in Colombia.

For crying out loud, he even sought advice from an Agency owner, not exactly a neutral party in all this.  That's like asking your stockbroker if he's bullish.

Sure, I got engaged on my second trip. I went down there fully wanting to meet the one, but had already decided that I would not get engaged to her on the first trip.  importantly, that decision gave me another month or so before I would go back and some time to:

1)Discuss, 2)Evaluate, 3)Decide, 4)Take Action

That my friend, is how you make decisions like these.

Later,
Mike

www.sparhard.com

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: My story part 3, posted by Pete E on Jul 15, 2001

Pete I'm sorry but you're talking crazy..Muy Loco..I really didn't want to go here but you have become very aggressive in trying to justify compulsiveness. Telling guys just go..don't think..it's ok to crash and burn......haven't you learned anything in these couple of years ?

You said:I can tell you he didn't go down drunk or desperate.But he is the kind of a guy who if he finds just what he is looking for will just go for it

So he was looking for a woman that never loved him ?? He was looking for a Divorce ?? He was looking for a woman that would break his heart So he found what he was looking for Pain and Misery ?? That's friggin Nuts !!!

You Said:I know this sounds crazy,but sometimes you can just sense the quality of the person and you just go for it.

Crazy...yea it's friggin insane..."just sense the quality of a person"... the qualirty...WHAT QUALITY?.... All The Quality of a Woman That Doesn't Love You and Dreams About Her Old BF...what kind of air you breathin out there...what are you on?? Loco Weed !  

You Said:If you are into being carefull and logical I guess it sounds pretty crazy

Are You Nuts You want everyone to be reckless and Stupid To Leap Before they Look...Thats Crazy Talk !

You Said:I have an advantage here,I know where this story is going,ands its pretty interesting.

Yea wheres it going "Therapy" or Divorce ?? FYI Pete...not many guys want to buy into a nightmare of therapy to have sex with their wife...leading to a likely divorce at some point. And the sense I'm getting is there isn't much love going on here...lust combined with arrogance..with a mixture of compulsive, needy, shallow, nievity. With the topping of selfish want thrown in. If there was ever a case for standing back and looking in the mirror I'm reading them. This story doesn't have a happy ending because it's a nightmare that if lucky one can only wake up from, then what, repeat the cycle, the damage is done, there will be scars, there are serious root problems that cause compulsive behavior and I haven't seen one word of solution to the real problems. But I guess as long as you can afford to placate and enable your own compulsive behaviour ...more power to ya.

HD

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: My story part 3, posted by Houndog on Jul 15, 2001

Houndog,

I actually agree with your assesment here.  I think H2-OH despite being a good guy, has set himself up for failure in the past.  I think that not unlike most of the gringos in Cali, he has prefered the younger twenty year old types.  I think this is an extremely dangerious proposition for a whole variety of reasons which are obvious to both of us.  

But on the other hand, I think we can all help each other by talking about these important issues but in a way that does not villify a person who is an otherwise good guy.  I think it is absolutely fair to criticize constructively.  

I took exception to several of your other posts today because I felt like it went above constructive criticism and into the realm of villification.  I should have just let things go but I felt a responsibility to my friend who I have never seen act in any way but respectfully.  I don't want to turn this into a battle of the Cali guys versus the Cartagena/Barranquilla brigade, although we got you outnumbered about 10 to 1, so how bout we lower the decibel level and move forward from here.

El Diablo

[Houndog]

... in response to A peace offering of sorts, posted by El Diablo on Jul 16, 2001

James, I agree completely and this is really not about H2O as I've stated above. This well could be about most of us..maybe all of us. In fact it is about ALL of us....and developing attitudes that lend themselves to LT happy loving success. No one is here to promote failure...thats the real point...changing the odds. By going south we've changed the male/female odds in our favor...now as all these recent stories show..not just one...that attitudes are very suspect in preventing more success stories. Thus to finish the job of changing the odds, more work looks like it's neccesary. And having done more work I assure you it ain't that hard.

HD

[JunFan68]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: My story part 3, posted by Houndog on Jul 15, 2001

....is one huge banner ad for the K-1 Visa instead of going the DCF way.  Can you guys now see why a little more effort and time gives you SOOOO much more protection from this happening.  Safeguards are in place to protect you in the first 90 days, and also a review after 2 years. Sure, there are times when the DCF may be appropriate, but this case is a textbook example of where a K-1 is superior.

Later,
Mike

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: My story part 3, posted by Houndog on Jul 15, 2001

I had a long and careful screening process that started with MYSELF...first I dealt with my issues..and was engaged for over a year...haven't needed any therapy, drugs or alcohol to get my wife to love me or have very satisfying passionate sex. Because the girl I found and that found me had the purest and most romantic and relistic intentions. Just as I had.  

I was found by a lady that really is sweet...not just in my fantasies..but in the reality of fact...proven by her actions...daily.

BUT...even if I had gone wrong...which I didn't...I certianly wouldn't be advising guys to go south and make irrational compulsive choices.

HD

[H2-Oh]

... in response to Re: My story part 3, posted by JunFan68 on Jul 14, 2001

Just wait......it's gets better.

H2-Oh

[Red Clay]

... in response to My story part 3, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 13, 2001

n/t

[Red Clay]

... in response to My story part 3, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 13, 2001

n/t