letter writing

[elessar]

I just had a question and a request concerning letter writing?

How long does it generally take to get respnses from the ladies that
you write?

Also any helpful hints on letter writing would be appreciated.  I am
not very good at cold letter writing.

The letters I have written so far contain a general description of
myself, with a picture included.  It also has some basic information
about me, likes and dislikes.  I also ask some things about them.

Any help would be appreciated.

[jediknight]

... in response to letter writing, posted by elessar on Jul 14, 2001

On the long end, it took about one month after sending the letters to get responses. I sent the letters through the postal service which generally takes 3-6 weeks to get to colombia and included my email address in the introduction letter. on the short end, when I bought the addresses, a couple included email addresses so I actually got a response from one of these women quickly, a few days.
The woman who I am currently devoting my time to get to know further after having written to, spoken to over the phone and recently met in cartagena told me what it was about my letters that put me above the other guys that were writing to her. I wrote about things that were important to me and it happens to have been things that were important to her too...family. Other than writing about myself, I wrote about my mom, brother, sister, neices, nephews, my relationship with all of them, what was going on in their lives and what impact they've had on me and vice versa. I emialed pictures of my family all the time, birthdays, get togethers, when we were kids, etc. She told me how guys would send pictures of their houses, cars, boats, yada yada, and she was not impressed at all. i showed her what was in my heart and not in my wallet, this killed her because she, like many colombianas, have a close and important relationship with their families, this is key. hope this helps
steve

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: letter writing, posted by jediknight on Jul 15, 2001

I've lost track of how many times I've heard ladies complain about the men who try to impress them with their financial status.  It comes off as arrogance.  If you want to find a gold-digger, writing letters and sending photos of you in your BMW in front of the big house is a great way to filter out the good ones and attract the ones who are out for the best financial catch possible.

Being financially secure can be a plus, but when you use it trying to get a better response from the ladies, it's going to backfire.  That apparently doesn't stop a lot of men from trying though.  It's got to be the number one complaint I hear from ladies.

[Houndog]

... in response to A very common complaint, posted by Patrick on Jul 15, 2001

You are so right. Actually one of the things that appealled to me most about looking south was the fact I could leave 'materialism' out of the picture. In my letters for example I simply stated I was a mechanic and had a small shop...never did I utter a word about what types of cars I worked on, how much I made nothing but the basics. I wanted to fikter out GCS's and had to many experiences with GDB's from right at home.

I saw going south as a perfect venue to find a woman that would love me for me...and accept me more or less on the what you see is what you get basis...and it worked like a charm for me. I couldn't be happier with how things are going.

HD

[Houndog]

... in response to letter writing, posted by elessar on Jul 14, 2001

I was able to find a very wonderful lady thru letter writing.

Like some others I ordered a number of address's. I then wrote a informal introduction letter and included some phot's of myself.

I think there are advatages in both ways. For me, some of the advantages were, letter writing requires 'effort' so it filters out women that are too busy, taken, just shopping, insincere, or wasn't looking for someone like me.  Because it requires effort and expense on their part the majority that write back will consider you a prospect to some degree. They either like what you said, what you look like, maybe both. As you continue to write their sincerity level can be determined along with things both find out about each other thru questioning. Letter writing also allows one to put himself in a position to "have a good one pick him' this time around. One that is smart enough to choose a guy like you.It also allows a situation to develop where the woman can build an emotional investment in you.

Of course everything requires honesty and filtering to work well for the LT.

Regards, HD

[JunFan68]

... in response to letter writing, posted by elessar on Jul 14, 2001

Elessar,
I highly reccommend that you engage in a little letter writing before you go down there.  It is really not that expensive when you weigh the benefits that are possible.  In my case, I wrote letters but never used an agency.  I bought about 50 or so of them and used a WORD document that was sort of a form letter than I could customize a little for each lady, maybe include reference to her town for instance.  Being the control freak that I am, I was definately more in control of my own destiny. I was able to call, email before hand which gave me the opportunity to experience the Colombiana a little bit.  After a period of about 5 mos., I was able to decide that I wanted to go to Cartagena and meet up with a girl from BQ.  I feel that it was a definate advante for both of us to be able to write back and forth, exchange pictures, and talk on the phone.  I am sure that by doing this, we both definately reduced the 'surprise' factor (ie being surprised what the girl looks like relative to your preconception).

Later,
Mike

http://www.sparhard.com/colombia.htm

[elessar]

... in response to Re: letter writing, posted by JunFan68 on Jul 14, 2001

Well, I have started a letter writing campaign.  So far I
have sent out 40 letters with 20 more going out soon.  One
thing I had been wondering was how long it might take to get
responses.  Which through posts I have learned can be as
short as a couple weeks or could be longer.  It has been
about 2 and a half weeks since I sent out my first letters.
The thing is that I had been planning a possible vacation
to Colombia in November, though it isn't definite at this
time, and was hoping to have at least some correspondence
with some of the ladies I am writing to.  I appreciate all
the advice that has been offered, but I had no intention of
just jumping in and marrying the first Colombiana that
caught my fancy.  I am looking for a long term relationship
and will put as much energy and effort into it as is
necessary, and unless fate has it otherwise I expect it will
take at least a year to truly make a decision.

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: letter writing, posted by elessar on Jul 16, 2001

The letters can typicaly take 3 weeks to get to the lady in the beggining. A week or so while they read it and think about replying and 2 1/2 -3 weeks to get back to you total for first letters round trip 6-8 weeks.  However if you included an e-mail address in your letters sometimes the really interested will e-mail you after they recieve your letter. The key is patience and not getting discouraged.

HD

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Re: letter writing, posted by elessar on Jul 16, 2001

One guy on the Russian board uses what he calls, "The Rambo Approach" that is first, plan the trip to a certain city or area, THEN start writing letters. He claims a much higher response rate because he starts the letters with: "I'm planning to be in your city November XX through XX..." I've heard that many of these women get lots of letters but only a very small percentage ever actually shows up to meet them and the women get discouraged. If they KNOW you'll be there, they're far more likely to show interest. Particularly if they've been listed a year or more, written lots of letters, and still not met anyone at all. Just something to think about. It also shows a decisiveness that women tend to find attractive.
-- Jeff S.

[Red Clay]

... in response to letter writing, posted by elessar on Jul 14, 2001

Letter writing might seem like a waste of time for those who are seeking instant gratification. For those of us who don't leap before we look, it is time well spent, downright enjoyable as Sol has said. Read the post below by H2OH for an example of someone who didn't have the patience to write.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: letter writing, posted by Red Clay on Jul 14, 2001

H2-oh is a good friend of mine and yes,the last thing I can immagine him doing is writting letters.He,like myself,just doesn't have the patience for that.But we are both doing pretty good and have had a good time in the process.Its been quite an adventure.There are many approaches,and I think we may have 2 of the 3 successfull letter writters(that I know of)here in this thread.Actually,as long as you follow up and actually go letter writting only is a limitation if you let it limit the choices of who you meet when you go.

Pete

Pete

[JunFan68]

... in response to Re: Re: letter writing, posted by Pete E on Jul 15, 2001

Pete,
I disagree that you are limiting yourself. I bet I looked at 1000 photos and descriptions while I was buying the 50 or so that I wrote to.  That took a whole lot of time to do. I doubt most guys that just show up at an agency don't have time to look at that many, even if the agency had that many.  So, I feel I actually got to review more options this way.  The net result was that when I went down there, I was able to shoot with a rifle rather than a shotgun if you know what I mean....

Mike

[Pete E]

... in response to Limitations, posted by JunFan68 on Jul 15, 2001

Mike,
What I ment by limiting you was to get too focused on the one you have been writting and not meet any others.I guess if the girl you have been writting seems like a perfect match go for it.But if she just seems OK you might want to really explore the territory a little.
I looked at probably over a thousand web site pictures.I looked at over several hundred in the agency where I stayed,then interviewed 15 or so.The impression in person was always different,usually better because the sweetness factor came through.The choice was based on looks but also desires.I didn't want a girl that wanted more babies,and it seemed like that was 90% of them.I was open to accepting a child older than an infant and wound up with a 33 year old with a 8 year old son.I knew right away she was a very good person and that has proven to be true.I think that would have been tougher to decern in a letter.
Actually whatever works or appeals to you do it.I just worry about guys getting into the paralysis of analysis and
limiting or postponing their adventure  writting letters.  

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to letter writing, posted by elessar on Jul 14, 2001

Why write letters when you can go to Colombia and meet as many Colombiana's as you can handle before you would ever get a letter back?Why go to your mailbox looking for snail mail when you can be having the adventure of a lifetime?
Writing letters,regular mail or E-mail is just a fantasy untill you meet the person.Depending on where you live you could go for 10 days for $1500 or so,less if you are a penny pincher.You can fly from Florida for $400.Add $100-300 depending on where you live.You can stay at Norms for $40 a day.There is nothing like meeting these girls in person.Often  a guy can  communicate with a girl for months and then know in 5 miniutes she's not the one when he meets her.I saw a recent example of this(again) with disapointment all around and alot of wasted time.
You need to take vacations,take one here.If you do get serious with a correspondent you have to go down anyway,so why not just go down?You really have to experience it to believe it.You have no idea what is availiable untill you look.You will be amazed.
Of course it costs little to write letters.Are you serious about wanted your dream woman in your life?Unless you have really  bad credit you can get a credit card.My wife got one and she doesn't even have a job.
I assume you have reasons you think you can't go.In life you either have what you want or alot of reasons why not.
I don't mean to be hard on you,it just seems so obvoius to me after going.I presume this will bring up the debate again,with people coming in on both sides.

Pete

[Sol]

... in response to Re: think airport, posted by Pete E on Jul 14, 2001

Hi Pete,

I think there can be a balance between letter writing and traveling. Given my personality and how I like to get to know ladies I've been appreciating the value I get from
the letter writing process. I get to ask some pointed questions, screen out the ones who aren't a match, find out who's interested in me and see if there's sustained interest for a month or two of letter writing.

I'm about to go off to Bogota to meet a lady that I've been writing to for a little bit over a month. She's pretty (but not arm candy) and seems to have lots of things in common with me. I did learn from my first crash and burn experience that once the signals are clear enough that there's a good chance of she and I being a match that I need to get my butt over to see her before my fantasy of who she is consumes and blinds me.

I've not been all that interested in the agency scene and I have a VERY hard time opening my heart to more than one lady. So, I'd find it confusing to meet a number of women, find several of them interesting, and make more trips down to whittle down the set.

I'm willing to take the risk of writing for a couple of months, burning $1K+ to see the lady briefly then coming back to spend more time with her. Vacation time has greater value than money right now.

We'll have to see how this strategy works for me, though. I'll let you know.

Sol

p.s. One thing that I've been considering lately, though, is that the woman I want to meet is not necessarily one that would be doing lots of email. I am aware that by doing the email first route I'm selecting the women who are comfortable with computers and selecting out the ones who would be wonderful partners but just have no interest in computers. For roughly $12 an hour, though, one can do phone screening of those without email although I'd want to see a picture of her pretty early on.