Talking vs Actions in Relationships 'make a case'

[Traveler]

... in response to Talking vs Actions in Relationships 'mak..., posted by Houndog on Jun 16, 2001

you know, you really got to make a better effort with regards to spelling.  its rather pitiful.

now, the criteria for "success" is my own, not yours.  but essentially they are "how being able to speak Spanish fluently landed me a girlfriend"

circa 1996:  new arrival to PR.  was there about 3 months, no car, not much  money.  got my hair cut by a pretty young lady in San Juan.  initiated conversation (she spoke no English) got her number, went out.  she would come and pick me up and drive me around until I finally bought a car!!  girlfriend for 1.5 years.  

1999:  San Juan again.  went to a Sushi bar with a friend in San Juan.  he was meeting some of his friends (a couple).  there was this hot as hell black puerto rican girl alone at the bar.  I kept checking her out.  my friend wanted to go sit by the couple he knew at the table but I didn't want to leave the bar, but I went reluctantly.  I kept checking her out and thought she was looking my way as well.  there was a band playing there and they took a break.  two of the dudes from the band started hitting on her but I noticed she didn't seem too interested.
I decided I had to do something so got up from the table under the pretense of getting another beer.  I walked over where she was and ordered. I said hello to her, in Spanish, cutting off another dude at the moment he was going to make a move on her.  I asked why she was all alone and she said it was her birthday and wanted a drink.  I wished her a happy birthday and offered to buy a drink.  she accepted and we talked for awhile.  (no english)  I got her number and she was my gf 6 months.

I had two other longer term girlfriends in PR that spoke English, but we would always speak Spanish.  

when I would travel to the DR and Venezuela, I always met girls.  and Spanish was an absolute necessity for both meeting girls and traveling around the countries.  

[Houndog]

... in response to Talking vs Actions in Relationships 'mak..., posted by Houndog on Jun 16, 2001

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[Traveler]

... in response to Talking vs Actions in Relationships 'mak..., posted by Houndog on Jun 16, 2001

90%, at least, of Latin women are married to Spanish speaking men.  there you go.  

we are not talking about same language here.  99% of American men marry women who speak English.  OK

we are talking about you and your spouse sharing a common language.  

[Ralph]

... in response to Talking vs Actions in Relationships 'mak..., posted by Houndog on Jun 16, 2001

You just don't get it. Who says learning Spanish is an alternative to "actions", "true compatibility", "real love" etc etc etc.

Learning Spanish can be done in ADDITION to not INSTEAD OF.

Here is the real question.

If two guys are equal in the "actions" and "love" areas, but one speaks Spanish while the other doesn't, who will be more successful? Who will be able to help their wives duting the "transition" and "homesick" periods better?

It is BETTER for the women if you speak their language. Obviously you don't care.

In all the posts I've ever seen, only one person doesn't think learning Spanish is important.

[Lone Eagle]

... in response to black and white, posted by Ralph on Jun 16, 2001

Ralph: I've known people who can't speak at all yet get along good with people. If a guy has a knack for learning languages then he can easily pick up Spanish. I believe this is important only if he's going to live in her country. If a Latina comes to the U.S., then she has a responsibilty to learn the dominant language. But I agree with the previous poster who said common activity is more important than common language.

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: black and white, posted by Lone Eagle on Jun 16, 2001

...thanks...

Yes common activities and love far outwiegh other categories.

Regards, Houndog

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: black and white, posted by Lone Eagle on Jun 16, 2001

Learning the language is a good idea whether you plan to live in Latin America or not. The women will be lonely, they will miss their friends and family. They will feel isolated if there is nobody to speak to in their language.

Many times it will be a long time until they can visit home etc. Having at least their spouse speak their language is a good thing.

I recently went to my wife's country. She couldn't go yet. My being able to visit the family, show them photos and video, plus taking photos and video of them, was a great way to make them all feel more "together".

Speaking the language, helps a great deal when communicating with your in laws. I enjoy the fact that I can converse with my wife's family. They enjoy it as well. They can get to know me. Hiring a translator or using a  dictionary are a little less personal than speaking with them personally.

Do you not think, my knowing "OK" Spanish helps my wife learn English faster? I can help teach her better, because I can communicate with her.

I am far from fluent. I know enough for us to communicate on any subject. My grammar is far from  perfect, but to me communication is a very important part of a relationship.

I married my wife, not an electronic translator;-) She's more fun to talk to!

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: black and white, posted by Ralph on Jun 16, 2001

According to you and your buddies the couple must "speak"

 SOOOOOO how do Deaf Mutes find love...or Blind People or what about a Blind Deaf person..??

you idiot
HD

[Traveler]

... in response to Re: So tell us...!, posted by Houndog on Jun 17, 2001

deaf mutes communicate in their own language!!!!  also the signs from country to country vary.

when I worked at a service station in college a couple of times deaf people would come in.  they would WRITE on a piece of paper what they wanted.  the written language was our common language so we were able to communicate.  I would not be able to understand otherwise.

[Traveler]

... in response to Talking vs Actions in Relationships 'mak..., posted by Houndog on Jun 16, 2001

dfdd

[Houndog]

... in response to sure its a deal, but later.  I'm going t..., posted by Traveler on Jun 16, 2001

...LOL...I was going to use you as proof positive speaking espanol is the lowest common denominator...LOL..

HD