Affection - what's normal?

Sol

Guest

« on: April 21, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

Ok, I've got a tough question. I realize this question doesn't have a cookie cutter answer so I'd be interested in your personal experiences.

I'm a very affectionate person. I like to touch casually when I talk with women, I like to hug, I enjoy a kiss on the lips, I like stroking a lady's hair. All this of course after I've gotten to know her and she's gotten to know me and we feel comfortable with each other. I understand that the Colombian culture is fairly conservative and that women are individual in their desire/interest in physical contact and while I enjoy sex and expect to experience it with a potential wife before commiting I certainly am in no hurry to move in that direction with any lady I'm not intent on marrying and not without some time to develop trust and intimacy.

So, my question is, what's been your experience in terms of time and number of dates/visits for your lady to have felt comfortable with affectionate touch that's not platonic. The lady I visited in Medellin was VERY uncomfortable with anything but holding hands and that was after 9 days of being together and after three months of what I thought were some very intimate email and telephone conversations.

How conservative are these women? If one is that conservative how do I know that she will ever be affectionate towards me? The reality is that she and I have a number of fundamental differences and are not compatible anyway but I'm interested to know, physically, what your experienceces have been with her pace and with yours.

As always, thanks for sharing your experiences.

Sol


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Traveler

Guest

latin passion; no real answer

« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Affection - what's normal?, posted by Sol on Apr 21, 2001

latin people are generally more gregarious than Americans. Displays of affection are normal and expected; thus the famous kiss on the cheek salutation and farewell.

despite legalized prostitution, sex tourism and general seediness in many latin countries; latin america is still much more conservative than the US. The people appear to be more dedicated to religion and definitely to family. I think it is a fair bet that many more latin women are virgins when they get married than in the states percentage wise.

I dated a 22 year old girl in Puerto Rico, I was 29 at the time. She would hold hands and liked being with me but it took two months before I even could kiss her on the lips. She was not a very good kisser, no practice. she got better though. Anyway she told me she was a virgin and didn't think sex was appropriate until marriage. I didn't think she was worth the wait. The relationship lasted but 3 months.

On the other hand, I dated another one for 1.5 years and we made love on the first date. I guess you can see where my priorities lie.

lets be honest, when American men travel to latin america obviously they are looking to score whether with a regular girl picked up in a bar or an escort, or even a MOB. most men, unless they live there, would not have the patience let alone the time to charm and seduce a conservative girl. The MOB industry appeals to the impatient American life stye. You meet her you marry her. Marriage is the expected result

I think latin women are wise to foreign men. They know what you are after. Therefore, they may be extremely hesitant to give it up to someone they may never see again, even though they may really like you.

now you said you enjoy sex and want to experience it with your future wife before taking any vows. therefore, you may find yourself in a dilemma. you may have found one of those truly pure, no sex until marriage girls and therefore you will have to decide whether the wait is worth it.

On the other hand, she may not really be interested in you and you are wasting your time. Do you think she likes you?? what kind of signs are you getting??

however, as you mentioned, each woman has her own idiosyncrasies that affect her attitudes and behavior regarding sex.

P.S. be wary of evangelical girls. they tend to be more fanatical and conservative than the Catholic girls.


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chao

Guest

No kisses until the 10th date

« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to latin passion; no real answer, posted by Traveler on Apr 22, 2001

I used to work with a young lady of Mexican-American heritage who is married to a gringo. She told me that when they first went out on dates, she wouldn't let him kiss her until they had gone out 10 times.