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Author Topic: Found this while doing a search  (Read 7962 times)
AmBrazilian
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« on: July 04, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

http://expatriate-life.blogspot.com/

How many hear think this is somewhat on topic on how to have a relationship with a Pinay?

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Bear
Guest
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Found this while doing a search, posted by AmBrazilian on Jul 4, 2005

the way to have a relationship with a Filipina - definitely not my way, but I do think it supports my belief that Filipinas have no respect for wimps and will use any man at every opportunity as if it was that man's own fault and it was due them for being so stupid.

The stuff about his American woman sounded just like my "ex".  I still remember to this day the shocked look she had on her face when I walked out. She really thought my attitude was one of obedience to her rather than one of making my childrens life as good as I could by staying with the evil bbiittcchh.  I used to tell her "better do these things with me and for me out of love or you'll do them by yourself for yourself later in loneliness".  I'm really suprised she didn't believe me?

Now my "ex" has taken to turning my daughter against me so that she won't allow me to be a part of my grandchildrens lives.  My son-in-law is so stupid.  Hes supporting their actions.  Doesn't realize his mother-in-law swore to me and my mother that she would destroy that marriage on their wedding day.  His turn is coming.

I think being a caring but firm and "being" the decission maker is the right way and "will" get you the love and loyalty of a good Filipina.  Being a wimp will make the "Amerikunt" seem like the sweetest thing that will ever happen in your life once you get a Filipina.

The Bear Family

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AmBrazilian
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« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to I don't know if its..., posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2005

Hello Bear, I know what you mean about the relationship thing. The blogger says if she needs discipline spank her, that is just wrong, she is your wife. I was thinking more of the way he explains customs of the family. How many men are weak and get taken advantage of  by the family?

I have my own life like occurances of the American women many of my friends are divorced and paying support because they found their backbone and would not give in anymore. What stinks is how the courts take whatever pride you have left and agree for the women almost everytime costing you more in the end.

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Bear
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« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: I don't know if its..., posted by AmBrazilian on Jul 4, 2005

I am not sure if its "men get weak".  I think its more men are afraid that they'll be persecuted if they defend themselves.   Ya know "big evil man is abusive to weak innocent woman" type attacks.  You would not believe how many times I was told by bosses, friends, ministers, etc. that I was wrong and needed to give it more time; later they all, 'without exception', told me they were surprised I stayed with her so long.  She'd act so sweet and innocent when we were arounbd others, then throw the biggest hissie fit you ever seen ten minutes after we left their presence.
 
I put up with her because I knew exactly what would occur.  I'd be put into debt and never get to see my children while my "ex" made me out to be an evil bum.  That is not finding a backbone, that's suicide.
 
It was much more satisfying to see her face when I walked out.  The utter shock when she saw how prepared I was to be able to tie up all our properties and funds until she signed the divorce papers.  Even more when I remarried and had more children (which she made a point of knowing it was she refused me my desire for more children).  Knowing that right now she is ALONE and I'm not.  You don't win by getting backbone, you win by winning.

I just don't understand anyone who thinks that "spanking their wife" is proper.  At the most its some kind of sexual thing or power thing, but its totally unnescessary in a true loving relationship.  Picking the right girl and communicating is the way.  Hitting is admitting you lost control of something you never controlled.  And hitting someone weaker than you and calling it discipline is a fool setting himself up for a big fall.  Telling her that to it my way or the highway might be reality for her but it won't endear her to him either.  I'd rather die loved than in control with the most toys.

The Bear Family

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Luther
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« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: I don't know if its..., posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2005

"And hitting someone weaker than you and calling it discipline is a fool setting himself up for a big fall."
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senior citizen
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« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: I don't know if its..., posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2005

Some women like to be spanked. Sexual submissiveness. Hitting to enforce discipline is generally a mistake. I knew a man who married a (Caucasian American) woman who liked to be slapped around occasionally. She felt if he wouldn't pop her when she got out of line that he didn't care about her. She would keep at him, getting worse and worse until he'd slap her across the chops (not too hard) or turn her over his knee (fairly hard). Afterwards she was happy as a lark, singing while she did her housework and making sure she was dressed provocatively when he got home the next evening and having torrid sex. I remember thinking it takes all kinds and I was happy they never had children. Heaven knows how such a home life would have messed up the kids. Abuse equals love? Yuck.

I was never married to an AW. Honey was my first and only wife. But you can bet I saw a ton of ruined marriages in 20 years the service. Mostly AW, but quite a few who had married Koreans who became Jehova's Witnesses (Korean branches all over the US). It was the old "give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile" thing. As soon as the women got knocked up they knew they had their husbands by the cojones.

I wouldn't know how NOT to be head of the household. And I have never raised a hand to even threaten her. Didn't have to. A hard look or a drop of about a half an octave in my voice always did the trick. And it was not a threat, even then. I have never used verbal abuse or anything of the sort. She knew when I was annoyed and made sure she didn't keep it up. She gets her way in most things by buttering me up, not screaming. It is sort of like a 1950's Donna Reed TV marriage. Daddy makes the money, daddy makes the decisions, daddy is the master of the castle. She liked it that way.

Honey has never given me anything but respect as HoH, and made sure the children did, too. Maybe it was because of our age difference.  Dunno the reason but she has never been shrewish at all. She was even a good little trooper when she was pregnant. I bring home the bacon, she cooks it. Simple. For as young as she was she settled into domesticity like a woman who had been married fifteen years. She was actually quite happy, by all signs, to be the wife and mother. Sort of like a big game of playing house, but for keepsies. She always made sure supper was on the table on time and that she looked good when I came through the front door. Makeup (not much) and a dress or blouse and skirt. It really is something nice when you know your wife makes herself look good for you - just because you came home from work. We settled the jealousy issue early on. There was a flare-up when the younger child left for college, and when she turned 30, then 40, but those were minor flashes, shooting blanks, as it were.

Having read the horror stories here and seen too many broken marriages in the Corps, I realize just how lucky I am. I married late but I married well. I am a very lucky man.

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doombug
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« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I don't know if its..., posted by senior citizen on Jul 5, 2005

Great read.
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