This is a followup to the "take charge man" post below, and thanks
everyone, very much for the response posts.
Many of the responses seemed to follow the line of logic that,
if the man or woman wants sex and the other does not, then the one
who does not should give in, Hmmm, Since the man usually wants it
more often than the woman, me being a man, I would not necessecarily
disagree, .....Honey, get ready, here i come,,,,,but in reality,
having been in that situation, I am not sure the results would be worth the effort unless the unwilling partner is a good actress/actor.
I usually like to think my partner is at least somewhat interested,
otherwise why bother, but thats a side issue here.
The main thing i wanted to discuss now is the replys to my post seem
to follow the line of reasoning that the man is the household, according to filipinas should be "in charge" when it comes to major
household decisions that benefit both parties, in other words,
his word is the final word in mutually beneficial decisions, Sounds
good on paper, But, the question I have is, What happens when his
definition of mutually beneficial, is not shared by his wife,
For example the wife wants to have filipina friends, the man
thinks that is a bad idea, since they might poison her mind with
americanized ideas, or "oprah" type thinking, This is certainly a major major household topic, which could seriously affect the wifes
self esteem and happiness. The question is, the man here thinks it
is a good thing for the wife to not have pinay friends, and he thinks
it is best for the household harmony, and according to the pinays
on the board, his word is final on major household decisions like this. In this case, lets assume the wife is adamantly opposed to that
decision,
Personally I dont agree with the man, and here, his wife does not either, But in his mind, it is for the benefit of his household harmony. Whether he is correct or not, is not the issue,
The question is, Should the wife agree and accept his decision and
"obey " him, If she does, what harm will this cause to the marriage
potentially. What other household decisions will he impose selfishly
on her if she does agree, and how does this situation conflict with
the whole "take charge man".
The point i am trying to make, is that, what is to the benefit of
the household is not necessarily such a clear thing to see, and
his opinion and hers will not always match, and if he is selfish
or controlling person, he will try to make her think that its not
him but HER, who is selfish by not seeing things his way,
The whole issue of "take charge man" to me is more complicated than
some of us want to admit.
