Please, Please Help this Newbie!!

[BM]

... in response to Welcome to the board BM, posted by Jimbo on Mar 14, 2004

Hi Jim,

You make some really good points. With the way the sites for this kind of thing has grown so much in past few years, I am a little leary that there could be people on the other end trying to scam or take advantage of us, and well I guess I just have to be more on guard for that kind of thing.

I think I got some homework to do, on really trying to identify the key things I’m looking for in a woman. I can only be honest about what I know I want, and well some things I still am uncertain about.

Good to see you also had success at Cherry Blossoms, did you also try others while you subscribed there, and if so how were they in comparison?
Thanks so much,
BM

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Welcome to the board BM, posted by BM on Mar 16, 2004

Hi BM,

I only bought addresses from two sites; the other was Hearts of Asia or something like that.  Ten dollars, six addresses at each I think.  I was very selective and ended up writing to only four ladies.  Three of them I visited after five months of writing, which is pretty quick by most people's standards.

The hardest part was meeting a lady in Manila who was very nice but I felt no spark, no connection in the conversation.  I was honest with her, said goodbye and headed off to Cebu to do some diving.  It was very sad because I also spent a day with her family.  But the thought of that other lady in Hong Kong who I just previously met stayed gentle on my mind.  She was cheerful and kind, caring and talkative, and somewhat of a mystery to me.  Five years later it's still the same.  I solve one piece of the mystery and another piece emerges.  It's a good mystery because today I feel blessed with a serenity which I've never known before.

Jim

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Please, Please Help this Newbie!!, posted by BM on Mar 14, 2004

BM

Thanks for the interesting introduction,  your situation sure puts a new spin on things being a liberal muslim Canadian of distant Indian decent now living in East Africa.  I don't know exactly what you  are  looking for for a spouse so you might want to focus more on figuring this out for yourself.  If you want to focus on Muslim Asians there are many malaysians, indonesians, southern phillipinas and others to choose from.  If you are looking for christians, buddhists  or non religious asians to start a future with there are also many to choose from.  But I recommend you  access what values are important to you and pinpoint what traits you  are intersted in a future mate before before you start your searching.  Doing this will save you from going through alot of ads from women who are totoally wrong for you.

If you are looking for a nice genuine woman who loves you first for who you are rather than a green card Shark  I  would keep your business  and financial matters to yourself for a while until you feel really comfortable with a woman.  Just downplay your business for a while.  I think that you  are at an advantage to avoid green card shark women  because even though you are a Canadian you  certainly are living off the beaten path in East Africa.  I think most superficially materialistic women  would think long and hard about immigrating to East Africa.  So It would be my opinion that you are more apt to meet a genuine woman who truely loves you and is intersted in you for who you are rather than where you are living.

I met my fiance through an internet Dating agency Asianeuro.com which is based out of australia.  We both spent the additional money to buy a higher membership than the free Standard membership and this indicated to both of us that  we were serious in looking for someone to be our appropriate match.

Good Luck

windmill Boy

[BM]

... in response to Re: Please, Please Help this Newbie!!, posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 14, 2004

Hey Windmill boy,

Thanks for your post,
I think you are right about really being clear on what it is I want in a woman, and I think it might not be a bad idea for me to put some of those thoughts to paper one of these days just to sort things out.

When it comes to religion however, I am not necessarily looking for muslim women, in fact really all that interests me is the values and morals of that person, as long as they believe in something and have a great amount of tolerance and acceptance for others who may believe differently. I think all of us are really trying to get to the same destination, we are just driving different cars.

About mentioning business and financial matters, I guess I mention that only to try and get across an idea of the kind of lifestyle I could offer someone by living in E.Africa. You know a lot of people get misconceptions, of what it must be like to live here, and unless perhaps those people are well traveled or know a lot about E.Africa, they may have a hard time appreciating the fact that one can really make a nice life for themselves out here. But I think it’s best as you said, that once I start communicating with prospective partners I don’t reveal much right off the bat. I just don’t want people to be scared off because I am living in Africa. I certainly don’t want to attract the shallow materialistic types, and I never thought of it that way, but perhaps living here sort of automatically filters those prospects out.

Did you try other services besides Asianeuro, and any thoughts on how those compared?
Take care,
BM

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Re: Re: Please, Please Help this Newbie!..., posted by BM on Mar 16, 2004

BM

If you are open to anyone as long as they have a good heart and attract your interest  that certainly opens the field of Women for you to look from.  I  think then it should be pretty difficult for you not to find a whole slew of women who are interested in you.

I see your point about being able to prove financial ability / stability  but onthe other hand I still stick to the idea of not broadcasting this information so loud in the beginning.

Besides meeting my Chinese girl on asianeuro.com  the thing I like is that they asign you a number and you can see all of the women who are new and join after you do for a fresh suppy of newcomers. I was also a member of Match.com -  based in america for the most part but they also have international entries. my responce rate from Match.com for asian women was horrible.  every day I  received a listing of 10 women but none of them intersted me.  The ones I did bother to write never responded.   I  also tried DreamMates.com  where you pay $20 and you can contact like 10 women in half a year.  but my success rate was dismal here also.

Before going to china a few weeks ago I went to japan last year.  I met many pen pals on the trip and I have had good luck meeting nice and interesting Japanese women on AOL's international message board.  i highly recommend meeting friends this way and you have a good chance of developing a romance this way also.

All the Best

Windy

[nealt]

... in response to Please, Please Help this Newbie!!, posted by BM on Mar 14, 2004

you need to go to the phils they speak very good english shy at first but when they no you they talk 100 miles per hour

[BM]

... in response to Re: Please, Please Help this Newbie!!, posted by nealt on Mar 14, 2004

Hi nealt,

Thanks for the tip, but what do you think would be the best way to start communicating to some Phillipina women from where I am now, before I actually go down there? Or should I just make a trip for the purpose of meeting people to correspond with?

I'm of the opinion that even though both parties are probably serious about getting to find a spouse, we'd still need to devote some serious time in trying to find out what each other are all about, especially through the rough times. I think a year or so would be about right, all though I'd like it to be sooner than that.

What's your situation, are you married, engaged, searching to or for a Philipina woman? How's it been.

You've probably discussed it before, but I am quite new to the board and still trying to piece together everyones backgrounds. Thanks again.

Take care,
BM

[nealt]

... in response to Re: Re: Please, Please Help this Newbie!..., posted by BM on Mar 14, 2004

i have been married to a women from cebu pi for 6 years now she is everything i wanted in a women and then some,i just went there and met her by accident she was 27 me 47 and yes she was a virgin there are plenty of guys here that can give you names of all the women you would ever want to wright to
tneal

[BM]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Please, Please Help this New..., posted by nealt on Mar 15, 2004

Hi NealT

Congratulations on your marriage!

Is it common that most of the Phillipine women remain virgins until marriage? Not that is a sticking point with me, although I certainly respect and admire any women who would do so.

As for names and people to write to, I am certainly open to that, thanks.

Take care,
BM