Da Trip Page 25 Last phooowa

[Peter Lee]

... in response to ROFLMAOCUMLTNTPIMP!, posted by Ray on Sep 21, 2003

Well Peter, I got your analogy! But I don’t want to know anymore about that hang-up between 3rd & 4th gears (ROFLMAO!). Sounds like maybe you did need that Viagra after all? I guess as long as the young lady was fully aware that this was a “test drive” only at first, then I won’t shoot you just yet :-)

Well Ray you know how candid I am, I have to say I never had to use my Viagra.  It was a good feeling to have it just in case but there was never a time that I had to use it.  They cost me $20 per blue pill a year ago from the internet.  I was curious to see what they would do and to tell you the truth it was quite uncomfortable but that was an experiment with myself a year ago.  I did tell her about the Viagra and she said that it could be bad for me and her father had a heart attack when he was young.  She didn’t want me to ever use it coz she thought it was bad for my heart.  We left it at that and had a great tour and vacation.  3rd and 4th gear was more adjusting the clutch [ROFEMLNUS]
As far as your wife staying with her folks and raising pigs, well, that’s sounds all nice and homey and all,
 
Well Ray, I only thought it was a good idea to keep her busy coz I thought the papers would take over 8 months.  She doesn’t have a clue so she just didn’t want to sit around doing nothing.  She has a gf who is married to an Australian and is still waiting for her visa a year later.  I thought at least if paperwork gets her busy her parents can finish what she started.  It was my thinking to get the parents some extra spending money coz so far they are not asking me for anything.  She mentioned that her parents do not want to interfere in her personal affairs and that she should ask me for any decisions.   She did get the ok from her Dad coz it is his place the pigs are going to be at.      
but just what is your plan anyway?
Are you trying to get her visa so she can come here or not???

Yes, I want to get her over here as soon as possible.

If you file the papers for her visa today, she could very possibly have her visa in hand by the time you arrive there in February.

Well, that is good news if it is really true.   I do not have the information you have.  I was under the understanding that it would take over 8 months TO A YEAR to get her here.  So if what you say is true a new plan of action with your help is due.  My visit in February was my idea of meeting her half way in the paperwork process.  

Raising pigs is a relatively inexpensive business venture to get into,
but how in the hell is she going to work on her papers while she’s isolated in the middle of Moslem Mindanao with no outside communications.
What is she going to do, ride the bike to the top of Mt. Apo every time she wants to talk to you?
How do you contact her, Western Union? Carrier pidgeon?

Ha, Ha !  Well, she climbed Mt. Apo as you call it and called me from the Philippines for the first time on her cell phone, used up a lot of load, over 500.   We have been chatting on Yahoo every 3 or 4 days.   So we are working on a set time to chat, but every time we make a set date something comes up.  Like in my last report she hurt her knee when she slipped in the mud getting water from the underground spring 15 minute walk from her house.  

If you are going to be working seriously on this visa stuff, then she should be working on her passport, CFO seminar, getting all her NSO documents in order, obtaining NBI clearances, etc., etc., etc....

Now Ray, for sure I need you to clear some thing up for me.  I thought to get her passport she needs papers from Home Security or that package they send for the interview.   I remember I wanted to get her a passport before and she was told that she needed paperwork that shows she has a reason to get one.  If she is going to work overseas for example they get paperwork to apply for the passport.  What exactly does she need to get her passport?   I was told to wait till we got married so her passport will show her new name Maricel Lee.  That is another reason why we waited.   She also has certified copies of her marriage certificate.  She has gone to the CFO seminar but no passport?  All her NSO documents should be in order she has her NSO birth certificate.  She has her NBI clearance and ID card from last January.

She can’t do that while she’s raising pigs in the boondocks Peter! All that stuff can much better be accomplished from Cebu or Manila.

I wanted her to stay with her Aunt in Cebu.  But she is the Cinderella of the family there and she was glad to leave.  But any paperwork will be sent there to her Aunt’s house in Cebu.  The Aunt will notify her if any thing arrives.   Maricel’s older sister has a land line and the Aunt will be able to contact her.

Have you started working on the I-130 and I-129F petitions yet?

Yes Ray, Monday I will sign the papers they are all filled out I will send them them off.
I was expecting an answer 2 to 3 months from now for the next step from the Homeland Security.

Did you bring back signed G-325A’s (2) and ADIT photos?
Yes Ray, I brought back 6 copies of the G-325A’s each one signed with her new name and none carbon copy signatures.  Got 4 INS photos with negatives so I can make more if I have to.  Got passport photos also just in case.  

What are you waiting for Peter??? The K-3 petitions have been going through very quickly recently and she should have her visa in about 4 months or so after you file the I-130. Time to shyt or get off the pot...
Ray

Well Ray, I have been told because I am a naturalized citizen with a US name change that all this needs to be documented and notarized.  My Naturalization papers have one name and my passport, birth certificate and ID’s have another.  My name change to Lee was in 1980 and the town registrar’s office had to get a copy of the court order and certify it.  That done, I was told that in my case being born in at that time a German protectorate, Czechoslovakia, raised in Germany and became an Australia citizen and Naturalized in the US I would eventually be asked for my birth certificate.   If the papers are sent back because of no birth certificate that would be asked this is a high probability.  It would be a long delay having to send everything back.   So, to prevent that from happening I was looking for my birth certificate.   I have never seen my birth certificate and didn’t know I had one.   I was prepared to have two family witnesses to testify that because of the war in Hamburg records were burned and destroyed.  But my mom un be known to me had sent for a certified copy of my birth certificate in 1951.  It was necessary then to enter the US from Australia, that is why mom had it all these years.   Amazing that through all that bombing the Germans still had the original files.  There it was with the Nazi swastika over my name Peter Valdimir Leopold.   It was torn and tattered but readable, mother unmarried, this was coz my Czechoslovakian father was not allowed to marry my mother due to racial grounds.  So I kept my mother’s family name.   Other papers showed my mother who married a Latvian who adopted me and later gave me his family name Konstants.  So I needed that paper to show my name change that is on the Naturalization papers.   All this had to be professionally interpreted to English that the immigration has a special format for.  That took about a week and it is done.  
I will send Maricel to do what ever she has too so she can get her passport with your help.   I know in order for you to help me I needed to give you as much info as I can.
Ray?  It is comforting to know that someone like you cares and has the knowledge to help me, thanks.
Peter Lee

[Ray]

... in response to Re: ROFLMAOCUMLTNTPIMP!, posted by Peter Lee on Sep 21, 2003

Peter,

Don’t worry about keeping her busy. She will have plenty to do trying to get all her documents and evidence together for the visa interview and the medical.

It should not take 8 months to a year to get her here. You can file for a K-3 and it will take about 4-5 months maybe.

She needs to be working on her papers NOW! If she has her NSO birth cert, make damn sure that there are NO errors on it. She should have 3-4 original copies because she will need them later. If her birth was late registered, then she should get a new copy of her baptismal cert just in case they ask for it.

She should get her passport now also. She needs nothing from the embassy to get a passport. She will need an NSO copy of her birth cert and an NSO copy of her marriage cert for the passport. They will probably require her to attend the CFO seminar before they issue the passport. She can get the passport and CFO done in Cebu or Manila. The passport should be in her married name following Filipino law.

The NBI clearance is only good for 1 year. She will need a new one if she got it in January.

You should have brought back 8 original pages of the G-325A, but 6 will probably be enough.

I don’t think she will be able to do all of that while living in the boondocks Peter. She will be running back and forth to Cebu and Manila and the communications is too slow where she is from what you described. She will also need more money than you are sending her now!

Ray

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Visa Paperwork Over There, posted by Ray on Sep 22, 2003

Hi Ray,
I did check there are no errors on her NSO birth certificate for sure.
She has 2 original copies and I have one here in the US
About  her late registered birth?   It shows her birth day [box 4 ] Date of birth July 3rd 1983.  It was registered on July 12th 1983.  That should be ok.  
May I ask why she needs so many certified copies of the NSO birth certificate? I think it is ok in this case not to have her baptismal cert.   But I will make sure she has it anyway I know she has it.  
We applied for passport in Jan but was advised to get the passport with her married name.   So now she has her marriage certificate and the NSO birth certificate and the NBI clearance.  I will have her go to Cebu to do it if a travel agency in Ozamis can’t.   Last time we found out that the travel agency processes the passports for a fee of 1200 peso.   The form for the passport is Department of Foreign affairs Manila so it gets mailed out, the Post Office does that here in the US.  If not she will have to go back to Cebu and do it there.  While she is at it she can get more copies of the NSO birth certificate.
She has already attended the CFO seminar and has her documentation showing that she was there.  She did this while I was back here in around April in an attempt to get her passport last time.   I guess when she gets her passport she will have to get that special stamp on the passport itself before she is allowed to leave the country.
Yes we had to wait till we had the marriage certificate for her passport, now we have it and that is the next step.
Well the NBI clearance is dated Jan 28th 2003
It is still under a year old but it only requires a long wait to get it renewed, so I will have her do that.  
You should have brought back 8 original pages of the G-325A, but 6 will probably be enough.
Well I was hoping that 6 was enough but that is 6 sets of her signature.  I think there is 8 copies in each set.   I just remember she was signing and signing for ever there were so many.  

Well Ray, I know she can’t do all that in the boondocks.  
I will send her back to Cebu to her Aunt to have her do what needs to be done.  But when she goes it should be a list of stuff she can do in one week.
I was hoping that the only time she needs to go to Manila is for her medical exam and interview after she receives her package from the Consulate.   That part  is the last step of her getting her visa, that is when she will need more money right?

So to outline the new plan according to your post :

1-   Maricel will go to a travel agency in Ozamis with her certified marriage certificate, NSO birth certificate, NBI clearance, the appropriate photos and apply for a passport.   If she can’t do it in Ozamis she will go to her Aunt in Cebu and do it there.  
2-   While in Cebu she will get more certified copies of her NSO birth certificate to total five.
3-   While in Cebu she will go back to the NBI office and have her NBI clearance updated.  Last time she needed her student ID for that now she has her drivers license ID.
4-   I will make sure she has a copy of the CFO seminar receipt with her, I thought that she gets a special stamp on her passport after attending the seminar.  
5-   Maricel was asked to see if the ATM card I gave her in Jan is working in Ozamis.  We know it works in Cebu.  So what ever money she needs I can put it in the ATM account in minutes.  

Maricel knows all the places to go as we have gone there many times with the motorbike.  She has not gone to the Philippine Embassy for her passport.   I am sure the travel agency will take care of that for her.   I was told that it was standard for the travel agencies to handle that.   I know it takes some time for the passport to come back so when it does she can do the rest of  the shopping list of things to do that was missed.
All this should not take longer than a week once she is in Cebu and I believe we have some time before the Filing of the  I-130 and I-129F for the K3 comes  back..

What did you think about Kreeger time line report posted here 09 21 03
I used his report to see if how mine would be if it was the same days for the time line.

Kreeger: About the visa... I have a timeline for my K3:
April 23...Got married (filled out the bio-data form)
May 12...Filed the I-130 and the I-129F for the K3
June 4...1st NOA
July 18...2nd NOA
August 6...I-129F approved!
Sept 12....appt for physical in Manila (passed)
Sept 26...appt for interview! (still waiting)
Her best friend will be getting married on October 26, so I will attend that and bring her home after (if all goes well with the interview). Thanks again for the great write-ups.
Joe
My projected time line according to his with the added Holiday days added on.
AUG 27   GOT   married ( bio-data form)+26  
SEP 22 …Filed  I-130 and I-129F for the K3 sent +24
OCT 16 Projected 1st NOA +15
NOV 03 Projected 2nd NOA +45
DEC 18 Projected I-129F approved? +10 X-mass Vac +20
JAN 17   Projected appt for physical Manila  +39
FEB 25   Projected appt  interview [waiting] +??

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Visa Paperwork Over There, posted by Peter Lee on Sep 22, 2003

Peter,

Her birth cert sounds O.K. and 3 original NSO certified birth certificates are enough for a while. It’s just that she will eventually need more and it’s 500 times easier to get them from over there. She will turn in one to the embassy for her visa, one for the passport office (not sure if they keep the original), one to get her military dependent I.D. Card, etc., etc.... Make sure that both the birth certificate and the marriage certificate are issued by NSO on Security Paper! The Local Civil Registrar copies are not acceptable for the embassy. Until recently, only NSO in Manila could issue those. Not sure about now.

That’s good that she already had her CFO certificate. AFTER she get the visa, she needs to bring her passport with the visa and the CFO cert back to a CFO office so they can paste a sticker in it.

For the G-325A, you said she did 6 SETS? 6 x 8 pages = 48 pages with original signature??? LOL! Great! You will only need 4 pages for each form submitted, so 8 pages total. You have plenty of backup in case they get lost in the mail :-)

Yes, it sounds like she is pretty well fixed up so far. When she gets the visa appointment letter and package, then she will need to travel to Manila like you said. She can pay the K-3 visa fee ($100) before she goes and pay the medical fee ($95) at ST. Luke’s.

For the passports, she needs to go to the DFA (Dept. of Foreign Affairs). I think they have offices in Cebu, Davao, Zamboanga, and Cagayan. She should call ahead to see if they will issue her passport:

http://www.dfa.gov.ph/consular/rco.htm

If a travel agent can do it for her, great! The DFA may require her to use the traditional format for married names: First Name, Maiden Name, Husband’s Family Name.

Don’t worry too much about the timeline for the visa. There are too many variables and it’s impossible to predict accurately when she will get her visa. Kreeger’s time line sounds about average, 4-1/2 months from submittal to visa appointment, but sometimes the visa is issued a week after the interview and sometimes a few months after the interview.

One correction to your timeline projection: The I-129F for the K-3 CAN NOT be submitted until you get the Receipt Notice (NOA-1) from the I-130!

Ray

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Re: Visa Paperwork Over There, posted by Ray on Sep 22, 2003

Ray,
Well I just found 2 NSO birth certificates that means she only has one.   They are on that blue special paper.  I guess like you said have her get a few more.  
Well  Ray, I did not have enough time to get the marriage certificate from the NSO.   I am sure that would take some time.   Maricel is instructed to get that going.   I hope she can get by with the registrars marriage certificate for the passport.  Although she attended the CFO seminar in February she lost the receipt.  I told her to go back and get another receipt; they should have a record of her attending the seminar.  If not Oh well, she will have to do it again LOL.
I chickened out on the 1-30 it ask me my entire alias and other names.   I had to put down my former birth name, my adopted name and my legal name change.   That meant backing them up with my birth certificate.  My birth name is different than my Naturalization name.  It is really a true history of what I did and who I am.  There is no need to hold back anything coz in any interview or background check I can tell em like it is, with out fear of saying something wrong or giving them information they don’t have by accident.  With my background there is plenty of room to question a lot of my history.  Once I don’t tell em something and they find out, I have a lot of explaining to do.  I did nothing wrong and everything is legal.  So they have the birth certificate and all the history on a cover page explaining everything.  

Well you know how that G-325A  happened, I had a lot of extra with me.  Signing didn’t cost anything, so I had her sit and sign each of them.  We had fun doing it, laughing about how many pages were left.  
Now I am a little confused on how it works once the medical is done.   I guess she goes home each time and waits for the interview package and date.   I am not sure when she gets the I-864 Affidavit of Support.  I already have the 2000, 2001 and I am waiting next week I will get the 2002 the accountant had it on an extension.     I know you said that sometimes they issue the passport right after the interview and sometimes they send it in the mail weeks later.  This could mean 3 trips to Manila.   Sounds like that is were most of the money is going, traveling back and forth with a relative or friend.   Fortunately she has a distant relative in Manila but I am not sure how much they can help her.    
About the time line I corrected the K3 misplacement.  It is good to have a ball park figure on how long it would take to get everything done.  
I have to tell you that no one we talked to including the taxi drivers know where to go for a passport.   Finally we were told to go to any major travel agency and they would do it.   The cost was 1200 peso but we held back coz we wanted her with her new name.   This was when we were going for the fiancé visa in Jan.  The form they had us fill out was titled (Dept. of Foreign Affairs

OOOPs, I just found her old Passport application and it has on it CFO signed and verified and paid for 1002:30  peso  I remember now, they wanted that form to be taken to the CFO to be signed and it was.   Only then will they apply for the passport.  
What do I do now?  I can send it back that would take weeks.  I took it by mistake not knowing it had the CFO approval on it.  Fed Ex cost $35 bucks and 5 days delivery.  I have an idea I will scan it and send it e-mail and see if they will accept it.  There is a chance they would, I was trying to see how she would fill in her name that you wrote about and I noticed that she should have this form it is her receipt for the CFO.  

Don't forget you and this post helped me try to get a fiance visa going in Feburary.  So you had me do a lot of background work for what we are doing now.  

[Ray]

... in response to Re: ROFLMAOCUMLTNTPIMP!, posted by Peter Lee on Sep 21, 2003

O.K. Peter, now I understand your situation with the name changes. Don’t send your birth certificate or you’ll only confuse them! Send ONLY what is required! If they want something else later, they will ask for it in an RFE. Can I ask who told you to submit your BC with the petition? The court order changing your name will explain the difference from the name on the Naturalization Certificate. NOTHING needs to be notarized! All supporting documents should be photocopies except for the petition forms and the G-325A’s.

Here is a checklist of what you will need to submit with the I-130 Petition:
1. Completed form I-130
2. Filing Fee
3. G-325A (Biographic Information) for you
4. G-325A (Biographic Information) for your spouse.
5. One recent color ¾ frontal photo of yourself
6. One recent color ¾ frontal photo of your spouse
7. Your marriage certificate
8. Copy of your Naturalization Certificate to prove of U.S. citizenship
9.  Copy of the court order changing your name
10. Signed statement attesting to the fact that document copies submitted are exact photocopies of unaltered originals.
I would also include a cover letter, listing all contents, with a short, simple explanation of your name change from that on the Naturalization Cert.

You will need another set of the same documents to submit with your K-3 Form I-129F plus a copy of the NOA-1 from the I-130. If you only have 6 original G-325A’s for your wife, then send only 3 of each with each petition. Have the package ready to go for the K-3 and as soon as you receive the receipt notice (NOA-1) for your I-130, make a copy and your K-3 will be ready to mail to Chicago.

1. Make sure you use complete middle names!
2. Where they ask for Other Names Used, put the name on your Naturalization Certificate.
3. Don’t forget to sign the forms! And don’t forget to include the check.
4. Mail the petitions certified return receipt.

If you have any more questions, just yell...

Ray

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Visa Petitions, posted by Ray on Sep 22, 2003

Thanks Ray, I will do it now.  BC was told to me by an immigration attorney when I went for the free interview.  He said that in my case they will ask it for sure.  I will not send it in as like you said it would confuse them; but at least I will be prepared if they do.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Excellent Report Peter!, posted by Peter Lee on Sep 21, 2003

.. did you ever expect to travel halfway around the world to marry a pig farmer?

Sorry, Peter, no disrespect intended. The concept just struck me as funny. It just goes to show how wide the gulf in our cultures really is.

Your plan of finding an idylic retirement retreat sounds fabulous. I'm just curious, do you see Japanese tourists there in the PI more than Westerners? Maybe some of the Filipinas who read this board could help on that one. Your little diving resort could possibly be marketed to Japanese far more easily than to gringos. Of course you'd have to find a Japanese dive master - but that would be the easy part. Japanese, these days, seem to take their recreation very seriously and not just a few young people head off for long periods of time (years) to pursue their outdoor sports before settling down and raising a family.

I'd also be curious if anyone has come across charter fishing boats for tourists in the PI. I'm guessing there's plenty of fishing oportunities there - just don't know if there are enough tourists to support it. I'd bet that would also be business more easily marketed to Japanese than gringos. As I read, though a business like that would probably require permits and such that would invite the local politicians to be uninvited partners in your business.

Maybe you're right, being a gentleman farmer with fruit trees and piglets may be the way to go.

- Jeff

BTW, Peter, thanks for the riveting trip report. It was lots of fun to read. Also, congratulations on your new life and best wishes for a long, happy life together.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to In your wildest dreams..., posted by Jeff S on Sep 21, 2003

Well Jeff S,
The most Japanese seen on the trip was in Boracay.  They manned the diveshops and were good tourists.  In the Hotel in Cebu I did see a few Japanes some married to Filipinas.  Charter fishing?  I did not see any on my journey, I didn't see any sailboats either except two in Boracay that gave rides to tourists.  It was strange to see harbors without sailboats.  Most of the small boats had 16 hp gas motors and moved along pretty fast 14 to 16 knots.  Bohol and Panglao was the cleanest and best kept islands that i saw.  But no Americans in Panglao.  If i was going to retire in the Pilippines it would be in Panglao for sure.

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to Da Trip Page 25 Last phooowa, posted by Peter Lee on Sep 20, 2003

Peter

Thanks for the  trip  report.  Biking  around the Philippines  sure  puts  an  interesting perspective  on  things.  Not  a  bad  cost  for  a  54  day trip.  Glad  to see  that  things  worked  out  and  that you  got  hitched  to  Maricel.

All the  best.

Windy

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Interesting - - Thanks Peter, posted by Windmill Boy on Sep 20, 2003

Thanks, we will see how long it takes to get her here now?

[Bear]

... in response to Da Trip Page 25 Last phooowa, posted by Peter Lee on Sep 20, 2003

Hey Peter,

I was very interested in many of the details you gave becuase I intended to try some of them next summer when we return for my third trip.
 
Other than the "where to get married" situation I think you sized everything up pretty well and had some really rememberable experiences.  Jona and Glenn (of Atlanta), her cousin Joseline and Jimmy (of Alabama) and Honey and I are going back to Davao in July for Jona and Glenn to have a Catholic cerimony in front of her family.  Filipinas take the cerimony very serious.

I had actually planned having a pretty eventful trip with diving and bike touring but I think I'll reconsider the bike part now.

Bear and Honey

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Nice trip report., posted by Bear on Sep 20, 2003


Sorry to discourage you to motorbike but it was great for me.  I wish I would have spent the extra $100 for a 125cc or the workhouse 150cc, if it is too big they have trouble getting on an off some ferries.
I posted on an old post of yours but didn't get a reply coz you were probebly not looking that far back so i reposted for you.  

Hi there, I am glad I am back, maybe you could advise me a little. I am married now and the whole time I have not been asked for any money in the 8 months we have known each other. I did pay for my wife's school the last 3 months of her graduation. The Aunt she was living with is well off coz the Uncle is a chief engineer as a seaman. They have jeepneys, taxies, sory, sory store and a nice house in Pardo Cebu. The Aunt was paying for her collage for 2 years. After our civil wedding the Aunt had me get a roast pig for the celebration and we could only eat a little of it that day. When I came the next day to have a little more of the pig it was already stripped and packed away in the freezer, LOL. Although the Aunt is the one that wheels and deals with small businesses and hands out spending money for the kids going to school she has never come close to ask me for anything. Maricel's parents are in Mindanao in Lanao Del Norte in Kapatagan. She has 3 sisters, and older sister who is 24 with a new baby and happily married to a man who works for the city. The two younger sisters 12 and 15 are living with the parents. The Dad now my father in law had a heart attack and had bypass surgery years ago. He had to sell some of his land to pay for the operation. They now have only 2 hectares of land where he plants rice, mangoes, coconuts and papaya. They have a house and it is on the main road. I ask how they get there water to the house. Maricel told me it was her job to get the water from a spring half a mile away from the house with 5 gal containers. The mom whom I met when she visited in Cebu has never asked me for anything. I did buy her a nice gold necklace in January which she wears proudly. I have been reading these posts and hear the horror stories of some family demands. I have expected it especially getting married to a young Filipina. Well so far nothing. I left her with $400 and an ATM card coz I didn't know when I was going to be able to send her more money. I have $20 in the ATM card and she was instructed to try to withdraw it near where she lives, but the ATM which is 1st Union is not good anyplace. We know it works in Cebu but that is faraway. So far $200 was for the repair of the bike from damage to the lights and fiber glass coverings.  We talked about how she wants permission to buy piglest and feet them for profit.  She knows that it may be a long time till she gets any more money. I offered to send her $100 a month as she is living at home. She asked to send her $200 a month and I have no problem with that in a few months when her $200 runs out. I told her not to do any investment of or business plans yet unless she confides with me first, she said ok. Maricel has my motorcycle and I wanted her to use it to get water but she says it is to muddy and slippery at the spring. I told her to have some fun with it. It seems that she is far away from any e-mail café and she is using the cycle for getting there. She used the motorbike to ride to a mountain town to get cell coverage. I was surprised to get her call coz she has never called me from the Philippines before. I feel bad knowing that her Dad is probably not in the best of health. I ask Maricel if her dad would mind taking the motorcycle when she comes to the US. Her answer was that he is to arthritic to ride the motorbike. Wow, it put tears in my eyes, I feel this family has lots of pride and will never ask for any help. In Jan I helped her Mom get some steel tip shoes for Dad, they also have my bicycle I bought in January to get around and her sisters are using it.
The last chat I had with her was that she was very bored living back with her family. While we were in Bohol Maricel mentioned that some men were providing loans to farmers so that they can plant crops. They pay back in the crops yield so the interest is always paid. A $1000 investment is required to get started. She also told me that her sister ran a sory - sory store attached to her house and ran it till she got married. That requires a $500 investment to get going. But the problem is that she should get over here in about 8 months if all goes well with the K3 visa. I told her to study things more and not to do anything right now coz she won't be at home for long. In Panglao Island we seen a resort for sale and I really liked it. Maricel wants to stay in the Philippines and wants me to settle down and retire there. I am also surprised that she has no great desire to come to the US. But she says she will go anywhere that I am as long as we are together. I plan to go back in Feb 2004, I want to check out that beach resort again it looks real nice. Now I did not go to Mindanao to visit her parents. Everyone I talked to said it was not a good idea. Now in her last chat she said there was an American who married a girl near her home and he got married there. He was 40 years old and stayed for 3 weeks. Does any one have more information on the safety of Lanao Del Norte and Kapatagan. I see it on the map and it looks like a boarder line to being safe or not safe. I know little about that area and stayed away. I almost went to Ozamis with a ferry to go part of the way to her home. At the ferry when I picked up her Mom I did see foreigners stepping of the boat. She has to go to anther ferry from Ozamis then a 3 hour motorcycle drive on a good road. Anyone got any ideas? Most of the Moslems are in Lanao South. But there are scattered Moslems near where she lives. I sure would like to meet her family in there home in Feb. Her sister operated a profitable sory - sory coz the Army base is close by and lots of soldiers are stationed there. On another note Maricel is showing that her Mom is unhappy that they were not attending our civil marriage ceremony. She says that her Mom feels that I don't like her family. All the talking of how that's not true doesn't seem to help. Any comments or advice would be appreciated with my marriage situation. I am lonely; I have never felt so lonely before.
Till next time Peter Lee

[lswote]

... in response to Re: Nice trip report., posted by Peter Lee on Sep 21, 2003

Perhaps you haven't been asked for money, but you neglected to mention how when you first met Maricel she lied to you and asked for more money for her class than she required for it and how this was supposedly something her aunt had conspired with her on.

You are a real nice guy Peter and I like your frankness and the forthcoming manner you post with so I hope for happiness for you but I am still concerned about the good intentions of Maricel and her family.  Obviously now you have gotten on the horse, so to speak, and I think the right course of action is to ride it out now, but I think you should remain a bit cautious until you have had the opportunity to get to know your wife better.

It is not unusual for a family to require financial help, I help out my Colombian wife's family, so financial help in of itself is not a bad sign, but don't be TOO eager to help.  I think in particular, until Maricel is with you here in the states permanently (or you are with her in the Philippines should you decide to move there) you should not give her any more money than you agreed to.  She might be your wife, but she is still something of an unknown entity to you and you need to spend more 24/7 time with her to make sure her character and intentions are what they should be after the poor start she had.

[Peter Lee]

... in response to Re: Re: Nice trip report., posted by lswote on Sep 21, 2003

Iswote, I am glad you’re keeping up with what is going on.  I have been candid so I can get more suggestions and help from others.  
I found out later that it was all her idea and she had not committed herself to me and was questioning if she should.  It has nothing to do with the family as we suspected.  She deeply regretted what she did later.  Now she is paranoid about any money matters and sends me a list of all she used it for.  My last chat was to get permission to use some of the money I left with her.  She wanted to buy some piglets with it to make a profit.  She has $200 left after fixing the motorbike at the shop in Cebu.  I know what you’re saying and I am watching this real close with her.  She knows it and is eager to help me watch it with her.   She knows now that without trust there is nothing.   As far as family goes they seem to keep their distance from our affairs.  Her parents are telling her that she needs to ask my permission about the pigs.
My original idea was to keep her in the Philippines a while longer but the trip we had really put me in a trusting mood.  I agree and there is that Old Russian saying “Trust but verify”
I have not let my guard down but she had plenty of opportunity to take the money and run.
.
Yes that is always in the back of my mind, and it is noted.  I said that I would send her $100 per month.   She ask me if I could make it $200, I explained that would be more than most earing working all day.   She understood and is happy with $100 a month.  I know I will have to send more when it comes time for her medical and interview.  Travel and living in Manila for a while.  We didn’t get her passport yet either.  
I have already trained her to itemize everything she does with the money.   So it is a wait and see approach.  I feel a bit strange just sending $100 a month, she is living with her mom and dad.   I would feel better sending her $200 but I am going to wait and see.  I hope it won’t be long till she is in Manila with higher expenses.