filipinas, family members, and $

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Mita, a question, posted by Mita on Sep 1, 2003

I send it Fed-ex so it always gets there but I have heard that the balikbayan boxes are opened and much of the stuff is removed and then resealed so no one knows.
Last year although we did not send presents they were all excited.  They had to purchase what they wanted then put it under the artificial tree we purchased when we were there till Christmas morning.
I have had several people tell me nightmares abought sending balikbayan boxes and there is a major shipper here in Houston quite a few people use.  Its just that it seemed so wasteful economically and likely that all or part would not even get there.

Bear and Honey

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Mita, a question, posted by Bear on Sep 1, 2003

Hi Bear,

Yes, there are thieves who will rip off those balikbayan boxes and nothing is fool proof. We’ve been lucky so far and have had no problems with LBC. I believe LBC uses their own employees at every step of the shipping process so your box shouldn’t be handles by any unknown contractors. There is a lot of competition now in the business and one of the worst things that can happen to one of these shippers is that they get a reputation for employing thieves. When those stories get around, they will lose most of their business, so they tend to be very careful how they protect and handle you cargo and who they hire. I think you are ‘probably’ safer to stick with the larger companies with a solid reputation.

There are some things you can do to minimize the chance of getting ripped off:

1. Don’t send anything of great value! Keep it simple and inexpensive as much as possible.

2. Seal the box well. I always glue the bottom flaps so it’s virtually impossible to open it from the bottom without signs of entry.

3. Include your own itemized packing list inside so that the folks receiving it can take an accurate inventory. Also send a copy by snail mail or e-mail. Without the list, they may never know if anything was removed.

4. Make sure they examine the box carefully before signing for it. Tell them to pay close attention to the bottom. They should note ANY damage or signs of tampering on the receipt before signing it. It would help if they take photos of any damage.

5. Report ANY thefts or damage to the shipper promptly. The standard insurance coverage is limited, but it’s important to report it. They will need a detailed list of missing items and photos of the box if possible.

6. Pray that the Philippine Customs people don’t open it and get greedy! :-)

Ray

[Mita]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Mita, a question, posted by Bear on Sep 1, 2003

On the contrary Bear, balikabayan boxes are hardly regulated and do not go through customs inspection as other freight.  This was actually a cause for concern after 9/11 but it's still not being inspected. The contents are also not taxed.  It can take time for the box to get to its destination (2 months during the Christmase season) but will always get there intact.
I would assume that a city the size of Houston would have reliable door-to-door shipping service for the Philippines - you have so many Filipinos there. Here in Colorado Springs, we only have one Philippine store but the owner is pretty resourceful and has door-to-door shipping and money transfers aside from the usual Filipino goods.  Her money transfer service is so reliable, my sister got a remittance (for my mom's medical expenses) only 8 hours after I sent it - at 11 pm in Manila! I didn't even have time to email her about it so it was a big surprise.  For shipping, the Philippine Market uses Manila Forwarder, also reliable but more expensive here in Colorado.  My sister in RI will share the cost of shipping this year.  She sent me things to include in the box last year and wants to do the same this year.  That's pretty considerate of her.
When I was a kid, I liked receiving cash gifts too.  My nieces always preferred the presents though.  It took them longer to appreciate the value of money and just kept it in their wallets and thought they were millionaires.  
When I started earning, I gave myself a bigger role in making the family Christmas special - decorating the house, planning and cooking the Christmas menu, getting the whole family together and all that. It's a habit that's not easy to let go of I guess.  Of course, in the Philippines we get Christmas bonuses and 13th month pay at work so it wasn't so difficult to do.
I'm glad my husband is supportive.  Over here, we spend Christmas with his son at their place - we always try to make it grand especially since my stepson has a girlfriend with 3 young ones.  I see the gifts kids get here and am sooo surprised....it pretty much is like the Wish List my niece makes every week and knows she will never get.

[Jeff S]

... in response to filipinas, family members, and $, posted by senge on Aug 31, 2003

It'll be exactly the same way for a Latina as these guys describe for Filipinas. Any time you take someone from a closely knit extended family in a poverty stricken nation (the PI, Latin America, or Eastern Europe) you're going to run into the "we're so rich and they're so poor" attitude where just a little bit here will mean a whole lot over there.

There's a solution, though. Just fiond a girl from a rich family. That way, you can plead poverty, and maybe get the flow going the other way. My father always said, "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as it is with a poor one."

- Jeff

[NOX1967]

... in response to Re: filipinas, family members, and $, posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

I'm leaving for the Philippines next Sunday. Although I know the wealth/poverty gap is much broader in the Philippines, I would describe my girl's status as a kind of working class. By no means are they wealthy, but they are not living in abject poverty either. Everyone works, and contributes, and they seem to make it just fine. In her family, all 9 siblings have gone to, and graduated from four years of college, with each progressive one aiding the other with funds. And now they all send money to their parents. I guess you can think of it as a retirement system. There seems to be a big difference between those educated Filipinos living in and near growing cities, and those out in the provinces still living an agrian life at the reigns of a carabao.

[HaroldC]

... in response to Re: filipinas, family members, and $, posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

A woman from an even moderately well-off family in the third world is going to have had hot and cold running servants her entire life. What are the chances that THEY are going to pay for her to have servants here?

A fellow here who married such a woman from Indonesia told me that there they don't even bother to diaper the toddlers because there are plenty of servants to follow them around and clean up.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Tongue in cheek, I hope. :-), posted by HaroldC on Aug 31, 2003

My wife is from a quite well to do family, not third world, and she had no servants. I couldn't ask for a better wife, mother, lover and best and friend. The concept that only poor girls have traditional family values is not only false, the opposite is probably true. If anything, those steeped in poverty are more likely to abandon their traditions, beliefs, and mores, for a way out of their plight.

In my never to be humble opinion, even if you pick a poorer country, like Colombia or the PI, picking the poorest of the poor is a mistake. There's a reason poor people are poor, and it's not just because hard luck has somehow frowned on them. Those with their wits about them manage to survive and prosper even in the face of adversity. That's the kind of life partner I want, anyway. Your mileage may vary.

- Jeff

[senge]

... in response to Not at all., posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

Jeff,

This is an interesting concept.

[Mita]

... in response to Not at all., posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

I agree with you  Jeff.  There's such a thing as dignity in poverty.  Those who retain their dignity and as you say, have their wits about them, are not going to be forever poor.

[HaroldC]

... in response to Not at all., posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

I agree with what you said- just cautioning that your solution might have its own pitfalls- but don't see how your own example applies. And family values were not mentioned.

There may be some in the third world who qualify as rich and don't have servants, although I would be astounded. It would be socially irresponsible of them NOT to employ anyone, if nothing else. Luckily there is a lot to chose from between "the poorest of the poor" and the "rich".

Whatever. Congratulations to you and compliments to your wife.

[Jeff S]

... in response to "not third world ... no servants.&q..., posted by HaroldC on Aug 31, 2003

...and others who seem so concerned about sending money back home to their wife's family. Most of the posts about "rich girls" going back several years, and including yours about a women who wouldn't change her baby's diapers, imply that if a woman's family has money, she's a spoiled brat who's only interested in gucci shoes, country club memberships, and servants to snap to her beck and call.

I, and several of my friends, are testiment to the fact that just because a women is well off doesn't mean she's a spoiled brat. There are classy, elegant, traditional ladies in Asia, (remember this is the Asian board, not just the Philippines board) who's family you do not have to support. In fact, my wife's sister and her American husband were often supported by our in-laws with gifts and loans. Seeing how much trouble that caused, (they're divorced now) reinforced my already firm resolve, never to lobby for nor accept any such support, even though it was graciously offered.

Other than you folks on this board, the vast majority of the  Asian wife, Western husband couples I know are Japanese/American, a dozen or more. All of the ladies are from middle class to upper crust families, though a few are from blue collar homes. Most have terrific, very happy relationships. I've also known several couples who's story didn't end up so happy, for all the usual reasons men and women split up - none of which, though, turned out that one of the parties was scamming the other.

I know this board is heavily Philippines oriented, and so the vast majority of the stories are all about how to find, woo, marry, and import a Filipina wife. I find nothing wrong with this approach, as the many happy marriages of the regulars on this board will attest to. I just like to point out, on occasion, that there are alternatives to the Philippines, and that by pursuing some of these alternatives, many of the newby concerns, i.e. scamming, supporting her family, sponsoring her relatives, heck, even getting a tourist visa, become non-issues.

Just some food for thought.

- Jeff

[senge]

... in response to My posts were mostly for Senge's benefit..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

Jeff,

honestly, i've never seriously considered a japanese woman, and i think its because i always assumed they would only desire the 'idea' western man (eg-highly educated, upperclass, blond/blue).

it seems that filipinas are not as picky or rigid in their standards.  i may be wrong.

[HaroldC]

... in response to My posts were mostly for Senge's benefit..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

Useful perspective, for sure.

And for the record, the Indonesian lady does change her babies diapers and from all reports is an excellent wife and mother- and electrical engineer. She is just wistful about moving back 'home' because it is 'easier'.

[nealt]

... in response to My posts were mostly for Senge's benefit..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 31, 2003

import a wife i do find fault in that statement.
tneal

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: My posts were mostly for Senge's ben..., posted by nealt on Aug 31, 2003

What I was referring to is the paperwork and interview issues we often discuss on this board. How are you holding up, Tom? Is Jessica still in the PI? Good to see you posting.

- Jeff