Today I looked and my wife and fell in love again. It happens so many times everyday I'm surprised the feeling still seems so intense. For 45 years I called myself the definition of Murhy's Law - if something could go wrong it did and if it hadn't then wait a few more minutes because it would. I hated coming home. Then one day I decided enuff is enuff and I set out to change it. I paid off all the bills, had surgery, quit my stinking job and ended a 24 year nightmare with my "ex".
Then I decided to make it right. Get a good job and marry a sweet caring woman, the right one this time - start over. Things still go wrong but not any more than anyone else I think.
Gosh!!!(a wonderful word I copied from her). It worked!!! I'm still poor and the government and I growl at each other but I love coming home.
Today I smiled all day long. It just seemed life life was real. My baby smiles and my wife truely loves me. We have friends and find ways to do the things a family should. 4 Years ago I spent the day wondering how things got so screwed up, now I wonder if someone will pinch me and I'll wake up. When I thought that I remembered this post and decided to repost it for y'all.
The folowing is a post I made on 12/21/2001, the day after my wife made it to America and my arms.
Wow!
What a dream! So real.
Imagine me going to the Philippines to get married. Look, I’m drenched in sweat. Its so hot in here. After being married to Beelzebub’s daughter, there ain’t no way I’d be so dumb as to get married again. I mean after all those years of being alone in the mist of my “family”. Begging for even the simplest of things like dinner or a hug and kiss when I come home. Being humiliated by someone who was supposed to love you.
Nope.
Not me.
Never again.
Wait? It feels so warm beside me?
Oooooooo!
Is someone is in my bed?
Where did I go last night?
Let me think.?
I was at a church function! I’m sure no pick-ups there. I stopped on the way home and got milk and orange juice. The counter girl is married to my next-door neighbor – so I know I’d not be so stupid there as to make a pass at her.
Man?!
I just don’t know?!
Wait!
Maybe I did…?
Could I have really..?
Gosh!!!
I went to the Philippines and got married!?
I remember some girl on mIRC saying “Why r u lonely?” with that name “Sweetdarl’”. She was sooooo cute. Mischievous look. Very smart too.
Gosh!! I heard a voice in my head say “That’s the one!”
I married her?!.
No!!!!
Surely after all that stupidity of the 1st time I would not go through it again!!?
Well, I do seem to recall several long airplane flights. And a city that smelled like burning paper with tens of empty buildings. I remember a TV with music and words on it – we don’t see that here. Golly! I remember this family that lived at the top of this hill, hard to get up there because of the odd shaped steps rooted out by pigs. Just a shack? How many live here? Eight!!? They smile at me but never seem to care. That girl cries when they talk because they want what she has – my money.
Whoa!!!! My money?! I don’t have any money!
Oh, I remember the beach here is so beautiful. Blue, blue water. Not deep. Her hair so long and the water reflects in her eyes – now that’s deep!!. Do those eyes ever end? Let me look. So easy to get lost in all this hair, looking into those deep brown eyes…..
No!! No!!! I am a confirmed bachelor. After all that pain and hurt I would not marry again?
But the bed feels so warm? Maybe I should move my arm just a little and touch what’s there?
But what if there is someone there? What then?
What if I did get married? I mean all that paperwork and those evil government bureaucrats – me and government just don’t work together! I hate their intrusions. I just can’t imagine me giving them all that info about me. Yeah that’s right. I hate governments and they’re controlling idiots. I wouldn’t put myself through all that. Yeah I’m not married….?
But that girl, a Filipina, she was so beautiful. Her smile. Never seen anyone so beautiful. So real.
What!!!?
Your how old!?
Go away little girl! Oooccch! That hurt! Okay so you’re mature and you know your own mind! Do you have to get so physical about it.
Hey!! I just pinched myself!! It hurt! I’m awake and there is a warm sensation beside me in my bed.
Oh no!!
Did I get married?
No, don’t look.
Keep your eyes closed.
It’s just a hallucination.
Maybe you ate something?
Just relax!
I just seem to remember so many things. That pretty girl, wanting me to teach her what? Hey, I learned that when I was twelve and it wasn’t my choice either! You want me to teach you? No way! There isn’t any such thing as a girl who has never been kissed! Don’t you read the papers and watch TV? They show you every day on TV.
Man, I must be dreaming!?
But to think someone would respect her beliefs in God and her religion to save herself for her man – I like that.
Well then open your eyes and look!
But what if…?
Gosh!?
I just don’t know? I hated being married. The house was always dirty, never got to eat at home, always out, always having to do things for people who didn’t care, the chores and the work, two – three jobs to pay the bills – all for what? So Beelzebub’s daughter could sleep 20 hours a day and do cross-word puzzles and watch soaps. I couldn’t handle that again.
I did like holding the babies though. They grew up and went away. One day they bring me grandchildren so I surely don’t need more of those. Well, I did like those little creatures.
Should I look?
Okay!
Just count to ten and open your eyes. No! Wait! Just turn your head a little so you can see. Do it very, very slowly. Okay now open your eyes.
Slowly!.
Slowly!
Oh, the dog. I thought so!
“Get off the bed “Cub”!! Get!! Go on!!
Why did I ever name a dog after a baby bear anyway?
I wasn’t stupid and get married again. I knew I was smart. How could I ever get over the selfishness and the lack care for me. No chance I’d do that again!
I’m hungry!
Breakfast!?
Hmmmmm?
My eyes are open.
I pinched myself and I’m awake.
But I smell food?!
Wow!
It smells good!
But who?
How?
What!?
Oh! Someone’s moving in the other room!
Coming my way!?
What do I do? I’ll close my eyes. Don’t look and it’ll be okay.
Bear! Is that you?
You woke up just in time! Here’s you breakfast!
What’s that!?
Someone is hugging me!
Oh! A kiss. Wow I like that!
Okay then! Open your eyes!!
Its her!
I did marry her!!
Breakfast in bed!!?
Wow!!
Awaken with a hug and a kiss!?
Someone does love me and care about me. This is wonderful!
Hey Honey !!
I just had this awful nightmare about this old girlfriend. I call her Beelzebub’s daughter….
My “nightmare” is over and the “Dream” begins.
