age

[chevy]

What are the ages of women who would seriously go for a 49 year old? Do they really accept a large age difference? american women will not, for the most part.

[Michael B]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Apr 1, 2003

14........if you don't mind a few "little problems" like the perv in SHOCKING STORY OF EXTORTION IN THE PHILS had.

[Bear]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Apr 1, 2003

...then you still have some reality to get slapped with.  

Ray's formula works well here in the USA but I think outside of the USA it makes little sense to anyone.  They marry for a complete different set of reasons than we do.  My wife said her reasons for wanting to marry a guy my age were...
1) I was more mature and less likely to do the radical immature things a younger man does (like quit a job in anger, cheat, not set goals, etc.).
2) I was more likely to be finacially capable.
3) I was less likely to stern  with or beat her
4) I was less likely to find a cuter, younger replacement in the future.
5) She could control me with sex!!! (well actually I added this one cause its true - hehehe)
How can you argue with those reasons.  To her marrying an older guy means security and simplicity.

When I questioned her about fads of her age group they meant nothing compared to being married with a family and children (fads - an American trait?) .  When I pointed out that I would most likely die before her leaving her alone she said she would have her children and family and I would probably leave her finacially secure.  It would be worth it to her.

I think you should be more concern about a prospects openness and willingness to answer questions, honestly, about things that are of concern to you.  

When a Filipina says she wants a simple life she means she has no problem following her husband's wishes but wants him to keep it simple by informing her and consulting her. Although not necessarialy getting advice from her (giving advice to their husbands isn't simple - its work and bears responsibility that they prefer he have).  Some times its like pulling teeth to get them to tell you what they want or expect because they were raised that its your baliwick to make such decisions.  I usually tell her what I decided and why and ask her if she disagrees or has opinions.  99 Times out of 100 she usually has no opinon and just nods or says OK.  (the 1% is arguments over her pastels and my brighter contrasting colors - hehehe.  Pink is slowly taking over my home :-( )

The best thing to do is to write out a bunch of questions (try to hide the true intent on some) and pose them to your prospects.  Bring them up again and again on the things that of concern to you the most.  Tell her your expectations and make sure you know hers.  (If you can't "tell" her your expectations, then stop now.  You will get hurt).  Read the archives about some of the problems the posters on this board and others have had to deal with (like money, family, lying, church, work, children, etc.) and get her expectations on these topics.  (note: if they know your expectations in the questions they will answer in that manner so try to trip then up and hide your wishes).  When you feel comfortable with the answers and you know what she going to do when the same things that occurred in your past happen again then you got a winner.  

Asking the right questions can turn a scammer in to good prospect because you can make her life "simple" with your expectations.  It can overcome her peers/families influences and fills her desire to be married with a simple life.  Example - If you tell her you don't want a wife to work and you won't send more than $40-50/month to her family you'll know right quick whether or not she wants money or a green card, or a husband (whether it's your expectation or not).

Today is the anniversary of the day Honey and I met and other than some tampos where she had to express an opinion (that's contary to the way she was raised) we have been near uneventful in relationship problems.  She has a hard time understanding that I need to hear her opinions and expectations so I don't enter into areas that cause her concerns.  I honestly want her to be as happy as she wants me to be and she often feels like she has to except my wishes without telling me hers when to me it probably doesn't matter either way.

Note again I know this is not equal and the same for all Filipinas but pretty close to the ways they are raised (I don't want to be accused of stereotyping).  There are a few opinionated Filipinas out there who will real quick let you know what they think but if you look a little closer you will see they submit to their husbands leadership because he is trying to meet their needs and its the way they were raised.  

As an added thought.  They do not like stupid, foolish, weak people.  Be a wimp and expect to be used and know you are making their life very hard (meaning not "simple") because they will find it necessary to obey family and friends expectations over yours.  The opposite of not "being a wimp" isn't "being controlling and bossy".

Moral.  Ask a lot of questions, let them know your goals, meet their needs and wants, and quit worrying about American fobias.

Bear and Honey

[outwest77]

... in response to If you are worried about age...(long), posted by Bear on Apr 1, 2003

Bear, i agree with your observations, they look at life, age, relationships, through completely diffferent eyes than we do here in the USA.

I remember when you were going through all your trials and tribulations with Honey and I am very happy that you two worked things out and are happy now.

[lswote]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Apr 1, 2003

I am 49 and married my wife who is 32 in February.

[Mita]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Apr 1, 2003

It's easier to get in trouble if you are looking for an 18-year old.  At that age, there's a higher chance of you ending up with a scammer.  I would suggest you look into the 30-something age group, women with professions who have proven they can support themselves and know what it means to earn a living.  A woman in her 30's who has kept her virtue in tact would really be admirable, right?  Unless of course she is so preposterously ugly - then it wouldn't be such a surprise.
As to your question, you will find a lot of women in their 20's or younger who will give you serious consideration.  But as I said, there is more chance you will end up with a scammer so you need to be sharp.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: age, posted by Mita on Apr 1, 2003

"Unless of course she is so preposterously ugly - then it wouldn't be such a surprise." Actually I learned back as a teen that the ugly ones put out more easily than the beautiful ones. Why? Because they had to to get dates! Gorgeous girls got all the dates they wanted without it. LOL.

You make an excellent point worth reiterating: "I would suggest you look into ... women with professions who have proven they can support themselves and know what it means to earn a living." Unfortunately all too many guys like women to be dependent on them. It's cute maybe but a dumb choice for a life partner. Always lean toward the person who can cut it on their own IMNSHO.

To quote song lyrics before Dave does:

Momma may have
And Poppa may have
But God bless the child
Who can stand up and say,
"I got my own."

- Jeff

[Dave H]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Apr 1, 2003

Hi Chevy,

It would not be any problem finding a woman 28 or older that would be seriously interested in a 49 year-old man. It would not be difficult finding one as young as 18 (legal). But I think that you are wiser to stick with the older ladies for the most part IMHO.

Dave H.

[Jeff S]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Apr 1, 2003

People on this board range from the wife being 3 years older than the husband, to the husband being 47 years older than the wife. Probably the average around here is in the 10-20 year difference range.

According to Ray's magic formula (and as I understand it, a commonly used formula in the middle east,) the ideal age for a wife is half the husband's age plus sever years, so for you that would 31 1/2 years old. There seem to be plenty of thirtysomething Asian ladies who would look at a 49 year old man who was young at heart, as a fine catch. There's quite a few late 40s / early 50s guys here with late 20s / early 30s wives and girlfriends.

- Jeff

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: age, posted by Jeff S on Apr 1, 2003

Jeff is right! I'm a late 40's (46) guy with a late 20's (29) wife (16.5 years difference). I'm considered a mere child by many in the Philippines...ok maybe not a child, but still young and vibrant! ;o)))

Dave H.

[SteveG]

... in response to Yep! I'm One!, posted by Dave H on Apr 1, 2003

We sure wouldn't want that G-String to fall off now!!  Phewwwww, at least give me some warning so I can turn my head.  LOL
                     SteveG

[Matthew]

... in response to Yep! I'm One!, posted by Dave H on Apr 1, 2003

Gosh,Dave don't be so hard on yourself.You say you are in your late 40's but you are 46.Please tell me it's mid 40's,man.PLEASE.I am 45.Lets not rush things:)

tito Matt

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Yep! I'm One!, posted by Matthew on Apr 2, 2003

Hi Tito Matt,

You are right in the middle of your 40's. But then again, you know how it is in the Philippines! The day of my 46th birthday, I suddenly became 47. LOL

Dave H.

[Ray]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Apr 1, 2003

n/t

[chevy]

... in response to What age are you interested in?   n/t, posted by Ray on Apr 1, 2003

28 and older