Updates from Frank? N/T

[Felinessa]

N/T

[Frank O]

... in response to Updates from Frank? N/T, posted by Felinessa on Jun 23, 2005

I'm doing ok. Just planning for my next trip. Yes, it STILL hurts but I can think a LOT more clearly now. Coincidentally my soon to be ex NOW wants to return & "do everything different". I don't think so.
Anyways I think being back home in Ukraine & using a hole in a ground for a toilet, not having a car, someone to buy you things...well you get the picture I guess that has made her reconsider her choices.
What a shame.
Anyways I'm doing fine & looking forward to my next trip. one of the singers (a girl) in my band wants to go with me to Kiev in Sept or October. She was a good friend of my wifes. I think we'll have a blast together over there.

[Haroshij]

... in response to Re: Updates from Frank? N/T, posted by Frank O on Jun 23, 2005

Hi Frank

I've been following your story, and you have my sympathy.

You said you ignored some red flags. Do  you mind tell us what you sensed and then ignored. It could be very helpfull for a lot of  men going the same way.

Haroshij

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: Updates from Frank? N/T, posted by Haroshij on Jun 24, 2005

Well for one she smoked & LIED about it. It's not the smoking that was such a bad thing though I would have NEVER married a smoker. The fact that she LIED about it. As it turns out there were MANY other things she lied about.
In September she called me & VERY urgently told me she needed for me to Western Union her $500 because her sister was ill. I did. Later she said that was only like $50 but she "needed things". NEVER DID SAY what things though.
In October 11 days prior to me leaving calls me & tells me she needs $1,000. I said NO WAY. Well basically it boiled down to SUPPOSEDLY she borrowed $$ because I was NOT sending her enough every month, mind you I spoiled her sending her $300+ per month. QUITE  a bit for a Ukrainian lady from a hicktown of a population of 15K. She basically said if I don't get it I'm going to have to go to Moscow to work for it so you'll have to change your ticket date till I work off the $1,000 I owe. I suspect there was MUCH more to that story.
Well I did the WRONG thing & sent $$ on BOTH instances. In December we had it out again. This time she had to have $7 or $8K or else she would NOT come to America. Well I drew the line there.
Basically I think the $$ changed her for the worst. Then again perhaps she was just bad from the START. WHat ELSE did she lie about besides the smoking? During my last trip to Kiev in March I woke up 1 night at 4:00AM only to find her NOT in the flat. She just up & left in the middle of the night. Told me she went to her friend Ivana's house blah blah blah. LAter she told someone here she took on me during that trip to be with an Ex boyfriend & basically screwed him that night.
Anyways I put up with WAY too much stuff because I WAS MARRIED TO HER. If I was NOT married I would have bailed out. But since I was married I felt I had to try to work out our problems.
I was thinking if I can get her out of Ukraine & here in the USA things would change. NO WAY!! HUGE mistake. She landed here like a fricking A bomb. Starting drinking like crazy & started sleeping around 12 days into her arrival here. I suspected things but wasn't sure. My so called friends knew but didn't tell me till after I sent her home.
Basically I didn't heed red flags because I figured we're married we HAVE to we MUST work this out. The thing is I was willing but she simply was not.
All I can say is use a K1 & NOT a K3 because when you are married things change. Well for me at least. I just feel I have to go the extra mile if I'm married to keep it together whereas when dating you can bail with no strings attached.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Updates from Frank? N/T, posted by Frank O on Jun 23, 2005

That's hilarious!

Did you withdraw that I-130 petition yet? She just might show up on your doorstep one day if you don’t notify CIS that you are terminating the marriage.

Ray

[Frank O]

... in response to "do everything different"?, posted by Ray on Jun 23, 2005

I haven't gotten around to that. I DO Need to that asap though. THe thing is I don't think she would spend HER $$ get her A$$ here. I'd have to pay for that. But yeah, that WAS pretty funny though. I mean it's NOT funny but you know what I mean.

[Felinessa]

... in response to Re: "do everything different"?, posted by Frank O on Jun 23, 2005

What if she gets some idiot to pay her way thinking she's coming to meet him?

I'd say withdraw all your forms and applications AND report her to the INS.  I've read on other forums that they don't take kindly to that, and she might end up with the 10-year ban.

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: "do everything different&qu..., posted by Felinessa on Jun 24, 2005

The thing is she's pregnant. Other than me what other idiot would pay the way of a pregnant Ukrainian? Glad to hear about the 10 year ban.

[MNKenr]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: "do everything differen..., posted by Frank O on Jun 24, 2005

Hello Frank.

I have been following your adventure since the start. It has given interesting insight on the 'process', as I am involved in it in some ways.

You mentioned she is pregnant. I am guessing it is yours. If it is, that would really throw in some complication that I know I would not even begin to know how to handle. If you feel comfortable doing so, share with us your thoughts on that matter.

Good luck, and no one can ever say you have not had a very interesting past few years!

MNKenr

[Frank O]

... in response to Sorry to easedrop., posted by MNKenr on Jun 24, 2005

Well the embarrassing part is there is about a 90% chance the baby is not mine. I believe she arrived here pregnant. The #'s don't add up. The baby is Ukrainian. We only had unprotected sex/love once. By that time I KNEW what was up. I was previously married for 7 years so I KNOW what living with a WOMAN is like. She faked her mentrual period. She was NOT on the rag. I figured she's already pregnant so I might as well enjoy her before I send her back. Anyways it's not very easy sharing this but I think it is such a unusually screwed up scenario SOMEBODY could benefit by some of the stuff that she attempted to pull off. I paternity test would be NO PROBLEM for me. She asked me about it & I called her bluff. She then backed off & said it was NOT necessary as it was "our child". Anyways she's in Ukraine so I don't feel the need to provide anything for a Ukrainian man's child. Apparently she gave 2 different stories to my friends whom she told EVERYTHING about her escapades. I don't understand what that was all about. Did she think they would side with HER & against me?!  Anyways 1 was that she does NOT know who the father is which leads to "how MANY people did she sleep with?!" & #2 was the father is a guy named Viktor who is the son of a banker from Kiev so "the baby will be well taken care of". The thing is I would ASSUME the father of the kid would probably NOT be crazy of him impregnating a MARRIED woman much less a PROMISCOUS one that. I would figure he'd try his best to remove his son from this potentially harmful situation.
Anyways what a tangled web she wove.
I still find it hard to fathom all this fallout from my situation. Sometimes I still wonder "what the heck just happend?!"
The worst part was my so called friends (fiends?!) didn't tell me all this until SHE WAS GONE. I would have sent her home 3 weeks earlier.
So now she wants to return & "start over & do everything different...I will TRY to be a good wife to you."
Excuse me TRY?!

[Felinessa]

... in response to Re: Sorry to easedrop., posted by Frank O on Jun 24, 2005

Frank, I was going to suggest a paternity test if she tries to pull anything.

Have you reported her to the INS?

The 10-year ban usually comes when someone lies on their visa application or does something questionable.  I think what she did would fall under that.

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: Sorry to easedrop., posted by Felinessa on Jun 24, 2005

Well we did NOT do a paternity test here. I DID file for divorce & she IS in Radomyshl Ukraine so not sure what good that would do now. I guess is somehow she got BACK into the USA & wanted to come after me for child support then it would matter but I'm quite confident it's NOT mine. If it WAS then THAT would be a WHOLE other can of worms there. I DO have yet to report her. I guess I'm waiting for the divorce to be final (July 25th).

[Felinessa]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Sorry to easedrop., posted by Frank O on Jun 24, 2005

Frank, maybe you could ask your lawyer if reporting her might make your job easier with the divorce.

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to easedrop., posted by Felinessa on Jun 24, 2005

Actually the divorce is no problem. It will be final July 25th. Texas is a no fault divorce state. Good for me at this point.

[Craigjjs]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to easedrop., posted by Frank O on Jun 24, 2005

Frank,

Check with your lawyer.  In some states, the husband is presumed to be the father and it is up to him to prove otherwise.  

What if she goes after you for child support in the Ukraine?  Hopefully, your lawyer is up on the international issues.  I was corresponding for a time with a Ukrainian lady who was married and had a child with an American.  She took the kid and returned to the Ukraine.  He obtained a default divorce and custody in (interesting coincidence) Texas.  Now she is suing him in the Ukraine for spousal support and child support.  Does it make sense? No.  Is it consistant with international law? No.  But, guess who is greasing the right pockets and pulling the right strings?  My guess is that the Texan will end up paying a bunch of money to lawyers and eventually give his ex-wife a big check to make the problem go away.  My point is, assume the worst, and do everything you can to protect your interests now before you are on the defensive.

Oh yes, after learning the full story, I ended my relationship with that charming lady.

Craig