I was going to meet my Russian squeeze of 3 years, and countless visits in many countries including her own.  We were to meet in the Med on the 27th, and spend New Years together, and get to know each other even better....which already, I fealt was substantial.  I had told her that after many visits and 6 inches of emails, I was ready to pull the trigger, and she was thrilled.  Then we began discussing paperwork and what she should bring for my K1 filing when I returned, and I said I would need her to think about a prenup (marriage contract as they call it) and that I couldn't get married without one.  I spelled out that my house (that I had already  repurchased from my ex 12 years back, although she had paid nothing for it) would remain mine, and my business, cars, other assets.  She would be paid $5000 per year for every year we were together should the marriage fail.  I expected her to be happy.  Instead, I was told that my house should only remain in "my column" for one year, when, thereby, it should become "ours" so she wouldn't become "homeless" should things go wrong.  I said that her house in Russia, and her dacha would remain hers, that her daughter would live in, run, rent them, and I wasn't asking her to sell them and give me the cash, and she'd always have a home there, as well as here.  More arguments, accusations, claiming I only counted cash, and not love.  I said I was not 16 any more, and needed to seperate love from money.  She said she was in her mid 40's, had had one husband of 22 years, wasn't looking for a short term relationship/marriage, etc., etc.  Well, anyway, it has ended....now with her apologizing, saying she mis-understood, that her language skills had deserted her, (bull...plus her daughter is fluent) and she began backpedling, trying to fix the damage done.  Mind you, the assets are substantial, and she only found out when she asked last week...and I told her what things were worth....house, Ferrari, Porsche, Shelby, business, income per year, etc.  

I just wanted to tell my story's end, having been here for a while, and been a "participant" in the process 2 years before I ever knew this site existed.  I have been the most cautious, prudent student of the MOB process, and I was disappointed in the end.  

I will say it once more.  Look at the way things really are, as opposed to the way you would like them to be.  Look for character in another person.  (That's who you are, when no one is looking.)  Anyone can be fooled.  Trust your first instincts...like your teachers told you....don't change your answers in a multiple choice test, as your first instincts were the ones to follow.  And...look at what "she" is able to do, then, what she is "likely" to do.  Actually, these are good rules to follow in life, in any situation!!!

What will I do now?  I have only met one American woman in 30 years who has "character" and I will chase her.  I'm back home, without the nightmarish paperwork to file, the encumberance of a 10 year liability should the Feds draw down on a failed relationship, even though I was willing to do so.   I feel free to build my plane, race my cars, spend my money foolishly if I choose, without being a counselor, priest, babysitter.  So....life has gotten a little simpler for me, and I'm happy for it.  

I may "pop in" from time to time.  There are 2 on this board who know me, who I would love to meet some day.  KingDante and our good friend/banned Mark, I would advise "to keep their powder dry"....all others I wish the best of luck.

All the Best, God Bless, and Good Hunting.

Your Very Own "Meadowlark Leamon."    

If you married an AW for a few years and it failed, you would never have that expense.

Of course you know best what took place and everyone else here can only throw their two cents in based upon their perception - their perception of what - probably more of their own past experiences as the few words of yours they have to go on just can not transfer the reality of your experience.

But even I have a feeling about all of this. First of all, you have from what I can tell gone about all of this pursuit of a FSU woman in the correct way. You even picked a woman who was close to your own age. I would guess closer than anyone else on this board. Being a man who has fared well in the financial world, you could have used that unwisely to get any age woman you desired. So, for these things, you already have my respect.

I will say that a few of your past posts did leave me with thoughts that you were not really sure if you wanted to get married that much. I had no idea what I was picking up on - it just hit me that way.

Now that is certainly a lot better than a guy who has to get married to feel whole as that type of guy will move forward when there are red flags all over the place that should be telling him - stop - wait etc.

So, if you really get the feeling that this lady is more interested in money than you - I would do the same as you.  However, I will have to agree with KenC that misunderstandings happen very easily with these ladies. I know from personal experience --  woa - could I tell you a few stories about that but -- the bottom line is that this lady may not be after your money at all.

The bottom line is also that if you were really taken by this lady, then I would guess, suspect that in the back of your head - the part you are not telling us or her is that although you have openly closed this there may be a part of you still willing to evaluate her wondering what the total truth of it all is. And, there is a remote possibility that it is not over.

I wish you the best.

I would suggest calculating her compensation on a sliding scale. If you separated after one year, she will not yet have put down strong roots in the U.S., and it would be relatively easy for her to go home and pick up where she left off. Also, separation after just one year could also be due to questionable motives from either party for getting together in the first place. Taking these considerations into account, $5000 should be quite enough.

However, if you separated after 10 years, it would be fair to say that both parties came into it with the best of intentions and probably gave it their best shot. Also, after 10 years, having put down roots in the U.S. and loosened her ties with her homeland, going back would be much more difficult; it could even be that she would end up worse off than if she'd never left. In that scenario, 10 x $5000 is probably inadequate. On the other hand, why should she expect to take half of your hard earned assets? Somewhere between $100 and $150,000 would seem more reasonable.  

So, I would suggest $5000 after 1 year, increasing in annual increments of say $1000 ($6000 for year 2, $7000 year 3 etc) up to a ceiling of between $100,000 and $150,000. The amount increased annually, in line with her credibility which also increases with every year you stay together.

Stevo