Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation

[Scaught]

Hi Gang:

In a few days My fiancee will be here. I am looking for some advice on things to do just before her arrival and during the 90 day period, and a bit after.

I have read here that she should get her social security number before the 90 days is up.

There are also adjustment of status issues if we get married.

I already have bought temporary health insurance for her.

Is there an advantageous way for her to come through customs, like getting permission to work?

What papers should she bring with her besides her college transcripts?

Am I missing something? What else should I be concerned about. Of course I am mostly concerned about our relationship, but I am asking about logistics/paperwork/things to hopefully help things go smoothly over the coming few months.

Thank you!

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

She needs to marry you before she can get her Soc-Security number (I'm assuming she came over on a K-1?)

Yes, there is an adjustment of status. When you file that, you will also file for your EAD cards (which is authorization to work).

You will get information on the permission to work when you come through customs. It is in their standard entrance packat.

As far as papers, just have her make a copy of everything that she needs for her K-1 exit interview and you should be fine. We haven't needed one thing that wasn't in there. ANd we still have these X-Rays that no one has asked for...

The order of things the way we did it was:

1. Get married
2. Add her to bank account. (You need a nice bank manager for this, since most places want a second form of ID... and she will only have a Passport.)
3. Open second bank account in her name (using the Visa card they gave us from the first bank account.)
4. File Adjustment of Status along with the Employment Authorization request.
5. Wait, Wait, Wait.
6. Get Fingerprinted by the INS.
7. Get Fingerprinted by different group at INS for EAD cards
8. Take EAD cards to Soc. Security office and get SS card (in 10 days).
9. Get tax refund :-)
10. Start establishing credit for wife.
11. Wait for Adjustment of Status (which is where we are right now...)

You may be able to get the soc security number when you file the AOS, but that depends on your INS office. Here, they have created a wall between the office and the applicants, and no longer will even see you unless you have an application pending, and an appoinment. So, it was easier for us to just wait for the EAD cards to arrive, because then we could go to the SS office directly, and it was a piece of cake.

I prefer easy things to standing in line and dealing with Bureaucrats... but that's just me...

BTW, the fees for all of the AOS are a little hefty, and they just raised them again in February.

The INS is a horrible agency to deal with, and the Soc. Security office runs a close second.

The good thing is that she is here now, so the waiting is much easier!

Good luck!

[zebrazeb]

... in response to Re: Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparat..., posted by MarkInTx on Aug 6, 2003

some really great information, but you have to remember that different parts fo the country do things differently...and ust because soemone here has done it one way, does not mean you will do it the same....

Social Security #   can be obtained as soon as she arrives.  There is no wait, no big deal.  Just go to ANY S.S. office and file the papers..takes all of 5 minutes.  The MAIN purose for the SS# is for banking reasons.  But DO keep in mind that if you aply for the SS# before you are married, AND you did not get the work stamp at the airport, they will give you a SS card that says not authorized for work without BCIS approval.

There are a lot of things I would like to comment on, in fact I was going to say something on each numbered point, but I am tired of typing now....

but please, keep in mind that each state is different, and each perso is different..... and just becuase someone says they did it a certain way, does NOT mean you need to do things the same way....ie. the example of filing bank accounts, and then getting her her own bank account, could be seen as a problem waiting to happen...of course you want to help your new wife, but be careful as to not help her establish a life in the future WITHOUT you.....

[MarkInTx]

... in response to a few corrections..., posted by zebrazeb on Aug 7, 2003

Hmmmm... did my post seem empirical to you, Zeb?  I thought I was merely relating my personal experiences... not advising how everyone should do it...

You are right, everyone, and every state, is different...

And, an SSN can be applied for as soon as you marry.

But... Are you saying that she can get it *before* you get married???

I guess you somehow know better, all I know is that they asked us for a copy of our Marriage Certificate when we applied at the SS Office.

And, she was told numerous times that if she didn't get married in 90 days, she couldn't stay. Therefore, it seems odd that the SS office would hand out a SS number to someone who has no eligibility to stay yet... doesn't it?

I mean, I never tried it... but I would be surprised if they would give out a SSN without being married... I really would.

Also, the guy at the SS office told us that they couldn't give out a SSN until they got notification from the INS about something or other. They had to look up her record in the INS database, is all I know. I don't know the particulars. All I know is that he told me that since we had the EAD card, it was easy... The first time we went in to ask about it, they didn't have whatever they needed from the INS, and told us that we could come back later, or leave the application and it would take somewhere between six to eight weeks. I have no idea why.

We decided to come back later...

The SSN is valid for banking *and* tax purposes. The IRS told me that they would *not* issue an ITIN for her because in order to be eligible for an ITIN, you *cannot* be eligible for a SSN -- and since she was my wife, she was eligible for the SSN. I have heard of guys getting the ITIN... but I was told by three different officers at the SS office that they would not issue an ITIN. And if you read the ITIN form, it makes it clear that you should not be applying if she is here in a K-1 Visa. Again, I have read on the internet that guys *say* they got one. But the SS office told me that is not the case. (Who knows?)

So, in order for me to get my tax refund (I got married in December, and had paid taxes all year with only two dependants... now I had two more, so it was a nice refund...) I *had* to get the SSN.

As for setting up her bank account... yes, you are right... I never viewed this as a problem. I still don't. I am trying to establish her here in America. I don't view it as establishing her so she can have a life without me... I view it is making her self-reliant, so she can feel like an adult.

I have mentioned this before: In Ukraine, my wife was the head of a plant, and had 23 people reporting to here. Here, she couldn't buy a loaf of bread without me driving her to the store, and giving her money.

I thought it was important for both of us to end that kind of dependency.

Things here are great, so I don't worry about it.

Having her own credit card has enabled her to order things online, buy a phone card so she can call home at will, and even send small amounts of money to her folks... and has helped her feel less like a child under my care and protection, and more like a woman who can function in her new home. (The first thing she bought with her new credit card was a shirt for me... so I'm not too worried that she's going to use her card to go out on her own... but then again, as some on here will tell you, I am just a stupid fool, anyway...)

But, you are right.. everyone is different...

To each his own...

[BURKE89]

... in response to Re: a few corrections..., posted by MarkInTx on Aug 7, 2003

of 'earth-movers'?

[slimjimco]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

DOES WONDORS TO THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!

[FLASH2D]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

scaught, how much time did it take from the time you applied until the visa was issued? what service center did you use? which one seems to do the fastest processing? did you go to the interview? what made the biggest difference in your decision to get married here instead of there? thanks, flash.

[John K]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

1) Clean house top to bottom.  Vacuum, dust, polish, scrub, scour, wash all the dishes, clean out all major appliances and dust again.  Oh, and did I mention dusting?

2) Look at every picture you have around.  Look at every photo in your photo albums/scrapbooks.  Is there any photos of any old girlfriends there?  If so, burn them.

3) Take a look at your stack of magazines laying around.  Anything risqué?  Pitch it.

4) Take a look around the house.  Is there anything that is a throwback from college days?  Old posters on the wall?  An old spool still being used as a dining table/coffee table?  While it may bring back nostalgia, be prepared to retire it.  Extra points if you retire it before she arrives.

5) Extra points also if you have matching plates, glasses, cups & silverware.  If you don't, don't buy it.  Just be prepared to go shopping.

6) Start looking for places you can purchase household furnishings.  There's a good chance you might be shopping for new curtains, furniture, towels, sheets, etc.

[KenC]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

[This message has been edited by KenC]

Scaught,
Don't forget to enjoy each other.  You are about to enter a time of great exploration of getting to completely know the woman you love.  One word of advice: if you or your lady say something that upsets either of you, stop and assume it is a miscommunication.  Ask each other for a clarification before getting angry.  A RW's directness is sometimes a little shocking and takes some getting used to in addition to the language barrier (even if she speaks English well).  Don't worry about the paperwork too much as it is what it is.  It sounds as if you took your time in this endevor, so have faith in your judgement.  Keep a positive attitude and don't be paranoid as some here suggest.  (Consider the source)  Best of luck to you both.
KenC

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparat..., posted by KenC on Aug 4, 2003

Echoing Ken C's good advice,  I would add one little thing.  Either way you cut it,  she will initially be a stranger in a strange land...with you as her guide.  Expect some shock on her part because of the differences here.  Don't feel insulted as she is mentally processing alot of new information.  Initially,  she may be negative with some aspects of life here.  She will be comparing here to there and trying to develop a mental and emotional framework to digest and to codify things here.  To understand and to function here.  Initially,  be prepared for anything as she feels her way in her new and different enviroment.  Let her become comfortable and confident with herself and her new surroundings.  Personally,  after being here a year,  I have yet to meet a former Russian who wants to go back there to live.  Visit? Yes.  Good luck!

[Scaught]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

I know you both mean well, but I have known this lady for almost three years. There's no way I would even dream about inviting her into my home and my life if I had any doubts about her whatsoever. I couldn't imagine bugging the place to surveil her. I have too much respect for her and for our relationship to be so underhanded. This is probably good advice, though, when a guy brings over his one-week acquaintance/stranger, as well as the additional step of tagging her behind the ear with a GPS tracking device.

[wsbill]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

Keylogger and keep track of who she sends e-mails to and what the content is about.  Same is true with the telephone bill.

Do this very descretely, you don't want any surprises...

She's going to be here for 90 days she's going to be on her best behavior...

Search the Archives for other answers.

[tbirdjoy]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

Forget trying to get the EAD at the POE from the customs officer. They told us when we came through 3 months ago that they don't issue them anymore. You'll have to apply for it at the BCIS and pay the fees. I hope you have the same great relationship I'm having with mine.  We just got married last Sunday after her being here for 10 weeks. She's an absolute angel.  I got really lucky with this one.

Mark

[Scaught]

... in response to Re: Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparat..., posted by tbirdjoy on Aug 3, 2003

Thank you-- mainly I want to congratulate you. I wish you a lifetime of happiness together.

[Travis]

... in response to Last Minute Fiancee Arrival Preparation, posted by Scaught on Aug 3, 2003

I seriously doubt you want me to answer this question. But if I had to do it over again, I'd install some cameras...very discreet, but there.