another question

[landscaper]

from my brief letters and conversations with russian women it is becoming increasing clear to me that i just cannot read these women.

two questions. is there a book published that might help explain russin women in general.

and i was thinking it might be a good idea to find some type of internet site where you can write russian women purely as pen-pals, nothing more.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to another question, posted by landscaper on Nov 15, 2002

http://www.russianwomenguide.com/
http://www.wayan.net/exp/rus_exp/women.htm
http://www.russianbrides.com/books.htm
http://www.meighan.net/alexander/

There must be something useful in here somewhere.  These were links posted on this board in the past.

[juio99]

... in response to another question, posted by landscaper on Nov 15, 2002

more you know that you don't know much.  I agree with most of the comments of the previous posters below, and will add a few things.  

Regarding the pen pal route, I have found that the RW have an aversion to that.  Especially those who have been at this quest for awhile.  The reason being is that they feel they have spent many hours at the keyboard and many months corresponding with some guy or guys, only to have it turn into nothing.  In most cases, the guys never even make the trip.  I had one lady so bold as to tell me that she was perfectly happy with the number of 'friends' that she had,
so if I just wanted to be a friend and penpal, then she wasn't interested.  Of course, these ladies don't understand that it is useless just to get a guy to promise up front that he is serious, but some of them insist on it anyway.  I think that the ones you might find who would agree to be a pen pal would be the very young and very inexperienced ones (at least inexperienced with regard to corresponding with Western men).

It is true that you can learn much from reading these boards, but the problem is that you really can’t ask the hard questions about RW or tell hard facts about the RW or the other guys who want to “see no problems, hear no problems, etc.” will try to run you completely off the boards.  I am starting to realize that I really know less and less about these RW despite the fact I have spent a total of close to 4 months 'hands on' with about 25 of them.  True, women are women everywhere, and these RW and I go about our daily lives on a 24/7 basis in pretty good harmony.  Many of them have commented that within a few hours they feel like they have known me for many years.

However, just recently I am beginning to think that I really do not understand what (unspoken) is going on in their minds.  There are some good discussions occurring now on RWL about these topics, and one guy describes the RW in terms of the Matryoska dolls wherein when you open one up and there is another inside, ad infinitum.  I used to think this was just BS and that women are women, but now I am thinking there is something to this.  

I haven't gotten close to any answers, but the best I have heard relates to the ideas that Russian people in general are much more into the 'secretive' thing than are we Westerners.  I used to think this got started with the communists and everyone being afraid to say anything lest their neighbors report them to the authorities.  However, people who know much more about this than I do are saying it goes back hundreds of years in Russian culture.

There is an American guy who used to own Russian Girls Klub who recently posted on RWL that he had sold the business to Andrei of Peace Travel fame.  Anyway, this AM guy has also
written 6 or 7 books about his experiences with Russia and RW, and I am tempted to buy some of these books.  Perhaps he knows no more about RW than I do, but just reading more of the stories written by a guy who spent many years in Russia might be helpful.  At least when a guy prints a book he does not have to be concerned that by telling some  truths he will be ridiculed as he would be if he posted the same comments on these discussion boards.

Also, the Irina Borisova that I mentioned before who helps guys with transportation, accommodations, etc. in SPb, has written several short novels wherein she apparently (I haven’t read these) describes situations where the Western men simply “don’t get it” because they do not understand the Russian psyche.  These stories are posted in the RWL archives if you want to hunt them up.  

JR

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to The more you know, the , posted by juio99 on Nov 15, 2002

Good post - Nobody should be afraid to be ridiculed.  I tell my experiences as I see them.  I do not see why anyone else should be afraid to tell their experiences as they see them as well.  We all make mistakes.

[Zink]

... in response to another question, posted by landscaper on Nov 15, 2002

I found some sites for pen-pals awhile ago. I don't have them book marked but if I have time I'll try and find them for you. It's rare but there are a few RWs that are just looking to chat.

Look at the site in the heading too. I hope it still works. It's pretty general but had some useful info when I found it several years ago.

I was lucky in that I had a Canadian/RW as a penpal while I was in the early stages of my adventures. She gave me lots of inside tips on the psychology of Russians. Even now I have a couple of RW friends that'll help me if I became totally baffled again. Sorry but I can't explain in much depth. Oscar is right about hands on experience. We have to be there for the real understanding to sink in. Reading about an event helps but it's not the same as being there.

I try to be very direct in my dealings with RWs. I don't shade the the truth(as I see it) and if I want to know something I ask straight out. You'll be surprised at the answers you get if you just ask.

Good luck and I'll try to find those penpal sites for you.

[landscaper]

... in response to http://www.xbb.unets.ru/russian-women/in..., posted by Zink on Nov 15, 2002

will check out the site you mentioned, thanks

[Zink]

... in response to thanks zink, posted by landscaper on Nov 15, 2002

I'm on my lunch break now. I tried the 24 chapters About Russian Women website(the one I posted earlier). It doesn't seem to work for me. This is another good site for general info about RWs. womenrussia(dot)com. The anti spam software here won't let me post the full adress.

[Globetrotter]

... in response to another question, posted by landscaper on Nov 15, 2002

Landscaper....

There is nothing mysterious about Russian women.  Women are the same all over the world, however, there are just more of them in this MOB scene.  People look for divorce rates among FSU couples versus Americans.  I would bet these are the same in both places.  If you believe the BS about FSU women being better than other women, you have bought into the FSU MOB sellers speal.  Even the Russian woman on the Ricki Lake show said so.

For those who have succeeded in this forum, I think they could have succeeded in America as well, but not with one so young, or pretty.  There is no "magic bullet" in the game.  If you can succeed here, you will succeed there.  If you can't, you won't!  

When the FSU opened up their borders 12 years ago, there was no "flood" of people leaving.  My girl earns the equivelent of $40K per year, and is not looking for a ticket here (a boat).  Don't expect a woman to be forever grateful for you bringing her here.  We have human rights and courts to put these laws into effect, where they don't.
However, we don't have the social fabric here as they have there.  We don't have subsidised arts venues as they have,
which they love.

This could turn into a book, so I'll stop.  The greatest lesson you can learn is from those here who have been there, done that, so....maybe they will add their experiences to your queery.

Also...let me add, that I may be totally wrong, and that this is only my read on the process.  I am just an observant MOE with limited experience.

Good Luck to All.

[landscaper]

... in response to Re: another question, posted by Globetrotter on Nov 15, 2002

.

[KenC]

... in response to Re: another question, posted by Globetrotter on Nov 15, 2002

Trotter,
You really hit the nail on it's head with,
"For those who have succeeded in this forum, I think they could have succeeded in America as well, but not with one so young, or pretty. There is no "magic bullet" in the game. If you can succeed here, you will succeed there. If you can't, you won't!"
Wise words indeed.
KenC

[KenC]

... in response to another question, posted by landscaper on Nov 15, 2002

Land,
The best advice can be found right here in the archives.  Take the weekend and read as much as you can.  After a while you will get a much better understanding of RW and the challanges that will face you in the future.  You can read about success stories and total scam stories (and everything in between).  The information here is ever evolving and very up to date whereas any book published will be outdated very quickly.  Besides, where else can you pose a question to the author or ask for an explanation?
KenC

[landscaper]

... in response to The best advice, posted by KenC on Nov 15, 2002

ken the archives have been very helpful and i have read a lot, including most everything you have written, thank you.

[Oscar]

... in response to another question, posted by landscaper on Nov 15, 2002

It's like anything else, reading is fine but without hands on actual experience, you can only go so far.  The point I am making is that you need to go there and meet many of these women.  That is how you will come to understand them better.  

My 2 cents

[landscaper]

... in response to Re: another question, posted by Oscar on Nov 15, 2002

i understand what you are saying oscar but it was probably easier for you to understand these women. you are some type of dr. i believe and you spent several years in various medical schools and training.

i agree that the experience in going over will be the most help. i would like to have as much knowledge as possiable before my first trip

[KenC]

... in response to Re: another question, posted by Oscar on Nov 15, 2002

Oscar,
So, you don't really know about RW until you get your hands on them?  LOL.
KenC