Ukraine Lady Coming to US (Part II)

[BruceJet]

Hello All,

Thanks for your comments and thoughts!  

Just to update you.

My lady in Ukraine did got her US visa.  She faxed a copy to me and also kenC, you are right, my situation is totally different as I looked at it from your viewpoint.  Since she will be living here in the US potentially, she needs to know what kind of life she will be having and that is the reason why I wanted her to come to the US.  Of course, nothing is sure, but at least I and she will get to see it.

As for the ticket situation, she got her ticket but she agreed to pay for it in advance 100% and I just reimburse her once she comes.  I asked her where she got the money and she borrowed it from her best friend.

On the phone this morning, she sounded not so happy with me...:-( I told her that hopefully she understands why I said such things given the situation with Scammers.  she said, "okay, but i never would have thought all along that you never believed in me, Lets not talk about this till we meet..."  Yup, before she used to text me everyday but not today :-(

Gosh, did I blew it guys it with my not too-trusting attitude, perhaps the lady (ONE) I am looking for?  Hopefully this is just temporary :-)))

Again, guys, if you know any place where I can purchase a discount RT originating in Dnepro to US here in America, let me know.

[wsbill]

... in response to Ukraine Lady Coming to US (Part II), posted by BruceJet on Nov 5, 2002

Your really taking the guys for a ride on this one.

Lucky you, your marrying the a politican from Ukraine.
Going to visit our congress.

If she is really coming over on a business Visa, don't ya think the Ukrainian government is going to pick up the tab or whichever political organization.

Heeeeeelllllllllloooooooo.

Great copy, keep up the great storyline.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: This is a great gag........., posted by wsbill on Nov 6, 2002

And your going to fly her over here after she has swallowed about 1/2 dozen condoms filled with high grade heroin.

Once it comes out she calls her contact and she's long gone.
(Do you think this could happen ?)

[KenC]

... in response to Re: Your luck... she's a model type, posted by wsbill on Nov 6, 2002

Bill,
You are not making sense AGAIN.
KenC

[LP]

... in response to layoff the moonshine, Bill  , posted by KenC on Nov 6, 2002

[rojak]

... in response to Ukraine Lady Coming to US (Part II), posted by BruceJet on Nov 5, 2002

Bruce, my Dnipro. Ukr. wife of 2 1/2 years and I have read the posts relating to your issues, and we both feel that you haven't got a prayer of making this go anywhere...No disrespect, but the fact that you are so quick to question her sincerity probably dooms this from the outset. This whole venture requires one to just swallow hard and "go for it." Either you will win, or lose. But if you go in thinking that someone is out to "get you", you probably will fail. One wonders if you have a hard time trusting people, here or there...IMHO...

[juio99]

... in response to Re: Ukraine Lady Coming to US (Part II), posted by rojak on Nov 5, 2002

Rojak, I am having a hard time believing that you actually wrote this.  Excuse me, but if all the guys here followed your advice, wouldn't all of us be taken big time by the first scammer that came by?  Also how can you criticize this guy for having some questions ("having a hard time trusting," in your words) about someone who he has never met?

I don't think he thinks she is 'out to get' him.  He just wants to be cautious.  Sounds like a good plan to me.

But you can bet that almost every other woman of all creeds, colors and nationalities agrees with your wife.  Just read any of the posts here and on other sites from the ladies.  They are mostly pure romantics and don't want to hear the guys talk any practicalities.  They are looking for the white knight in shinning armor for sure.

JR

[Richard]

... in response to Re: Ukraine Lady Coming to US (Part II), posted by rojak on Nov 5, 2002

The gospel according to Rojack:

This whole venture requires one to just swallow hard and "go for it." Either you will win, or lose.

I have to agree with you there.  However, when one has reason not to trust the other party, they should just walk away rather than go for it.

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Ukraine Lady Coming to US (Part II), posted by rojak on Nov 5, 2002

Rojak,
In your post you say-

"the fact that you are so quick to question her sincerity probably dooms this from the outset"

Well, he has never met the girl before, has been writing to her for only 3 months...  What man in his right mind would NOT question things???  
I think it would be doomed not for questioning her sincerity but because he has not gone there to meet her and look into her life!  To just send for a woman you have never met to me is crazy, just like in the movie "Birthday Girl" with Nicole Kidman..

[LP]

... in response to Re: Re: Ukraine Lady Coming to US (Part ..., posted by Oscar on Nov 5, 2002

....that any different than sending for one you met only one time for maybe a week? After all, lots of guys here have done that. ;-)

[Oscar]

... in response to How is...., posted by LP on Nov 5, 2002

With all your experience, you would ask how it is different??

Well, if you see her there, you can see how she lives, where she lives, what kind of job she actually has, see her place of work.  You can meet her family and then her friends and find out how they truly feel about her.  You can determine how she is with money there, if she has a bloody boyfriend or not, just find out if her life is truly legit!  And yes, if you ask the right questions, you can find this out in 2 or 3 weeks there.  You can also find out if you actually have any chemistry in person, as we both know that phone and internet chemistry does not always translate into real chemistry..  Bring her here, sight unseen so she can check out your "lifestyle" and see if THAT is what she wants instead of you??  No thanks!  

Bringing her here sight unseen, first, you may find in the first 30 minutes that there is zero chemistry!  If that is so, a 2 week visit can be an excrutiating experience!  At least there, you can thank her for her time and move on to a backup..
But as far as being able to see any of the rest of her life, she could be lying her fanny off and you would never know, because you have never been there, seen her life there, checked it out for yourself..  
Anyone can be on their "best behavior" on a vacation with zero stress!

That is the difference I see and I think it is very significant.  I would NEVER do it..

[LP]

... in response to LP, I'm surprised at you!  ;-), posted by Oscar on Nov 6, 2002

...I ain't swallowin it. ;-)

While of your logic seems impeccable, it's flawed.

"Well, if you see her there, you can see how she lives, where she lives, what kind of job she actually has, see her place of work. You can meet her family and then her friends and find out how they truly feel about her."

What bearing has that on anything? I'd rather see how she performs in the enviornment she will be living in.

"You can determine how she is with money there, if she has a bloody boyfriend or not, just find out if her life is truly legit!"

What bearing has her handling of money there? Boyfriend?
She can hide that if she wants. And her life's "legitness"
is immaterial as whtever life she had would be gone when she came here.

"Bring her here, sight unseen so she can check out your "lifestyle" and see if THAT is what she wants instead of you?? No thanks!"

It still takes two to tango, you get to decide whether to continue to play ball.

"Bringing her here sight unseen, first, you may find in the first 30 minutes that there is zero chemistry! If that is so, a 2 week visit can be an excrutiating experience!"

Same as if you went there, except you have no backups. Send her home if there is no chemistry. The fact that for once the man gets to sit on his azz while she comes to him compensates for the lack of back ups. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

"Anyone can be on their "best behavior" on a vacation with zero stress!"

Kinda like we are (you were) when going there, eh?
Whats the diff? ;-)

I understand the points you're tryin to make but the logic seems flawed. I guess the bottom line is that *either* method is an equal crap shoot and not a wise move.
Still, if it were me, I'd prefer them coming. Beats all the hassles we had to put up with. ;-)

[Oscar]

... in response to Sorry ....., posted by LP on Nov 6, 2002

About checking out her life THERE, you say-
"What bearing has that on anything? I'd rather see how she performs in the enviornment she will be living in".

Well fine, bring a complete scammer here and see how she performs?  Why would anyone want to do that?  I want to see her THERE with family and friends, I want to talk to them and find out what this girl is really about.  NOT doing this, there is no possible way you can prevent being scammed just having her show up on your door step.. To me THAT is "flawed" logic..  Take a scammer or a jerk out of the FSU and put her in your home and she will still be a scammer or a jerk, she will just have your money to spend while being so! ;-)

You say-
"And her life's "legitness"
is immaterial as whtever life she had would be gone when she came here".

You could not be more wrong on that one!  I know human behavior and nothing will be "gone" for good OR ill!  If she is a scammer or a nightmare, that is not going to change just because of coming here. Likely it will only get worse!  Conversely, if she is an honest, loving, responsible person there, it is most likely that she will continue to be these things once here..

You say-
"The fact that for once the man gets to sit on his azz while she comes to him compensates for the lack of back ups. Nothing ventured, nothing gained".

Again, I couldn't disagree more.  What you are suggesting is the "lazy man's" approach to finding a bride in the FSU!  And I believe the chances are great that with such little effort, will come little results.  A guy who just "sends" for a girl, sight unseen, is asking for real trouble IMO.  If he has no backups, he could easily be more likely to "put up with some real crap" he might not normally.  He has nothing to compare or contrast her to!  I believe it is very important to meet more than one FSU woman to make an informed choice (I know there are some guys who HAVE met only one and are happy, but I think they are in the minority).  You are dealing with a completely different culture (don't give me the line about "women are women no matter where they're from"!).  These women are a completely different animal than AW.  That is why I got one of my own! LOL!

Concerning them being on their "best behavior", you say-
"Kinda like we are (you were) when going there, eh?
Whats the diff? ;-)"

Well, again, there is IMO a HUGE difference.  I think most of the guys who are going there at such great time and expense are really truly looking for a wife.  Of course there are some players but most of the guys would never go to such lengths if they were not really serious, and most of those women know that and can usually spot the "players".  I know I made damn sure that my girl knew I was hardly the perfect man!  I really told her very truthfully about my life, what I see as my imperfections etc..  I wanted her to know the truth..  I know some guys DON'T do this but they certainly should.  
But again, I cannot reiterate enough how It can be VERY telling spending significant time with a girls family and friends, seeing where she works etc..  You can ask those people in her life all about her, learn about her life through the stories and examples they can give.  It is to me absolutely invaluable info that you would completely miss just having her come to the USA never having met any of these important people in her life, let alone her!

So again, I can see absolutely zero advantage to having a woman from the FSU come to you, sight unseen rather than going there, meeting her and discovering her life there first.  In no way do I feel that "both approaches are an equal crap shoot" at all!
This sending for her thing is truly for the lazy guy who really just doesn't want to put forth the effort, time and money necessary, and IMO, that is exactly what IS needed in this pursuit, some stamina, desire, and effort.

All respectfully just my opinion LP..    

 

[LP]

... in response to Well, respectfully, just couldn't disagr..., posted by Oscar on Nov 7, 2002

....(Lots o' respect around here lately. ;-)

I think it comes down to circumstances. From a black and white standpoint, I agree with you. But there are many variables to consider and looking at this guy's case I don't see much of a scammer risk. He'd be out less expenses than if he went there. And as Ken pointed out, it's hard to ignore such an opputunity. I still maintain that either method is not optimum.

But fair nuff, your argument does have merit and was enlightening to me. The board at it best, so to speak.

[Oscar]

... in response to Respectfully, Oscar...., posted by LP on Nov 7, 2002

Neither the way it works with the women or the process of getting them over here..
This guy may not have much of a scammer risk, but I do feel it would be good for HIM to be able to compare and contrast with at least a couple of other girls there, like even Ken C did.  He said he met a few others so he himself would not be perhaps overwhelmed by his girls "Russianess"..  I think that was smart of him..