I've often heard the old nice guys finish last thing, but to tell you the truth, I think many of the guys complaining about this are not really so much nice as they are weak.  They try way too hard to impress a lady and basically grovel at her feet.  And it's not so much "bad boys" that they're attracted to, it's confident men.  A strong man who's also sensitive to other people's needs is attractive.  A man who's practically begging for female attention and trying to cater to her every whim (including changing himself to be what she wants) in the hopes of winning her love looks like someone desperate.  You can open doors and be basically chivilrous without groveling but some guys go overboard trying to impress a woman by kissing her butt.

If you come at women with the "You don't know how bad I've had it" story (as in the For Real Dude post) nothing good will come of it.  That is the one thing I'd work hard on changing.

Lots of people have had adversity in their lives.  My old man was a real (can't get last the censor to describe him) but he did at least impart one lesson to me that I think is valuble.  "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone."  Have a good time, enjoy life, find something you're passionate about and get into it.

I know a guy who lives in constant pain from rhumatoid (sp?) arthritis.  It started when he was a teenager and has now crippled him.  I've never heard him complain about the pain or the limitations it places on his life.  He still enjoys himself.  He also earned two doctorates along the way in physics and mathematics.  Since he couldn't do too much physically, he concentrated on intellectual pursuits.  His girlfriend seems to be extremely attracted to him.  A memory of an accident is hardly comparible (unless it disfigured or crippled you).  If he can get past his desease and enjoy life, then surely you can get past the memory of adversity.  By dwelling on things, you only let them continue to damage your life in the present rather than limiting them to past.

I would recommend working on yourself some.  I think that's more important than the mechanics of how to find a wife in the FSU for you at this point.  You gotta put the past behind you and not let it affect your future.

This goes along with the jealousy part very well.  I think that most of us on this board are kinda nice, more gentlemanly and eloquent in our words than most "bastards" you know from the corner Harley bar.

However, there IS a bit of excitement that women get from a
badass side of a man.  Take it for what it's worth, women appreciate some jealousy, and love a strong man, at least mentally.

But, take it with a grain of salt though.  They ALSO want this man to cry, tell them all of their personal secrets and weaknesses, and at the same time kick the jokers ass that made a pass at them in milliseconds, (whether it's appropriate or not).

That can be a tough balance to fall into.  It takes time to develop...

Being yourself is a good idea.

Just don't be a whimp.

Anyway I understand that I should be myself but with the cultural differences I want to be careful and make myself aware of all these differences.  I want to educate myself as much as possible so I do the right thing.  I myself like the Healthy approach probably just make a joke about it (Letter her know I notice) then move on.  No I am not the crazy jealous type of guy….