Once bitten twice shy….

[Ryan]

I am continuing my search for my second half like many others that post on this board.  Ever sense I was burned last year it has been hard for me to communicate the same with other RW that I meet today.  For instance I got a second letter from a RW that I started writing to and she mentioned lived for a time on a student visa in Brooklin  down at Brighton Beach in the Russian area.  Once she said this all I could think of was that she was looking for a free right back to America so she could go back and live in the area.  Then she said the liked going to clubs three times a week so now I think she is a party girl.  Finally when I asked about why she was divorced she didn’t give me an answer.  Am I just being paranoid sense I was burned before?  Have other here felt this way?
Thanks,
Ryan

[Rags]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

Good for you, just don't be too quick to jump to conclusions and see red where there should only be yellow flags. Most of us married guys have made our mistakes but keep the faith and persevere. The rewards are beyond your wildest imagination

[Ryan]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

Women from agency writes: (After I told her I wanted to pass on this one....)
Angela is not a bad girl and she is home-oriented, but likes to go to the theatre, cinema, concert, museums, She has strict traditional values. I gues you have got the wrong impression on her. As for the club, it is a club for classical dancing, but not disco dancing.

[Ryan]

... in response to It's just like this game they have answe..., posted by Ryan on Jun 27, 2002

Classical dance clubs are in Bishkek, can you ask your wife about this...  Just wondering is all..
Thanks,
Ryan

[RickM]

... in response to Hey RickM how many..., posted by Ryan on Jun 27, 2002

Hey Ryan!
Reading your post above...I can relate...I got lucky,my wife is actually Armenian/Ukraien and had a very good but strict upbringing.Til today she kind of "shrinks" to the man of the family...I don't know if all RW act this way...On the other hand,when it comes to things like with the child or a few other small home issues it is her way or none...It's life I suppose and it's give and take...Healthy relationship...

Now on about Bishkek and Clubs...Keep in mind it has over a million people in the city...There is anything there you want to find available in the line of clubs...In fact one is even named "American Pub"...To tell ya the truth,I didn't do much night life out there except for one New Years' Eve.When I go there I visit on friends and family and get up to Lake Issy-Kul and the mountains every time I can.It is just way too beautiful a place to go for me to spend my time exclusively on the city...The nights do have it's share of drunken idiots in some of the clubs and streets...I'm a pretty big dude and I speak pretty good russian...I wouldn't reccomend going out partying alone in Bishkek at night...I think most RW good gals out there feel the same...

[wsbill]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

The website she is at... So everyone will know to avoid her.

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Please post her profile or, posted by wsbill on Jun 27, 2002

Look, I don’t think that would be necessary.  There are plenty of men out there that want a party girl, who am I to call her a scammer or any other thing.  I am not here to hurt anyone or cast judgment off from two letters.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Get bent......, posted by Ryan on Jun 27, 2002

Thank you Ryan for a voice of reason.

She may not be the one for you, but she is (as far as anyone knows) no scammer. And there is no reason to single her out for board-wide ridicule...

[Alfred]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

Ryan says:

when I asked about why she was divorced she didn’t give me an answer

Alfred says:

Sometimes the silences speak louder than what is said.  If she's not talking now, she's not going to talk when you run into the inevitible problems.

End this one before you get attached to her: the more attached you allow yourself to become, the harder it will be to end it latter.

Alf

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Alfred on Jun 26, 2002

I completely agree with your reasoning.  My first trip over to meet a RW she didn’t want to talk either.  I learned my lesson with those types…

[Charles]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

I'd bag this one, Ryan, too many red flags says she doesn't sound like she would be a good match.  I think a healthy skepticism is warranted in this process, and you can usually tell if the "chemistry" is there.Keep trying, and you'll know it when you find it.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

I have felt that way.

Both times after I made trips that didn't work out, I had to go take time off from the whole pursuit.

As for feelings of paranoia, I think it is a delicate balancing act we need to perform about this.

On one hand, there is no need to "punish" someone new for your EX's mistakes...

...on the other hand, what good is experience if you can't put it to use?

I would say, personally, that if she A) had been in America at a University, so she was exposed to the Liberal Feminist way of thinking B) Parties three times a week at clubs, and C) dodged all questions about her divorce... I would probably have many of the same feelings that you have.

Only you can know for sure, but I would say that you are being reasonably cautious, not paranoid...

It's not like you've written her off, have you? You are merely concerned that you wouldn't be a good fit...

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Once bitten twice shy…., posted by MarkInTx on Jun 26, 2002

n/t

[tfcrew]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

...and I was bitten more than twice.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Once bitten twice shy…., posted by Ryan on Jun 26, 2002

My advice:  next!