... in response to Response to SteveM's re: "The One&q..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 8, 2002

Well now,

First, I am honored to have my name in a thread posted here.  Usually that happens when someone is being flamed, so I am doubly lucky.

I have always tried to make it clear that my case was not very typical.  I wasn't looking for a Russian wife (or a wife at all), when I met mine.  I had been a single father for seven years (since my son was two), and had concluded that life was going to stay like that for the forseeable future.

Now, I wasn't as careful as I could have been with my response to Chip.  Certainly, I don't advocate going over there to meet just one person, with no back up plans, if your objective is to search for, and eventually find, a Russian wife.

But, I think it is important to keep in mind that sometimes you are dealing with real women, with real feelings.  So to me, what you have said to her in your communications before meeting her makes a big difference in how you handle a trip over.

If you said, "I think you are my angel, and I hope we can be together forever", then it isn't hard to understand why she doesn't want to be the third woman you meet when you come over.  If you said, "I am looking for a wife, and I think you are really great.  You are someone I would really like to meet", then OK.

In other words, the nature of your relationship, such as it is, before your trip should have a big impact on how you plan things there.  If you have been telling someone that she is your number one, and you have been corresponding with others "just in case", then number one should get the shot at being number one, don't you think?

If, on the other hand, you haven't decided who number one is yet, and several possibilities are enticing, then hopefully you haven't said anything to any of them about being your one true love.  Because that wouldn't be honest or considerate...

I understand it is hard to tell if it is for real.  I was lucky in that respect as well.  We had two months of access to an online chat when she had a job in Moscow.  She also had a phone at home, so we were able to talk at least a couple of times a week for the three months before I went over to meet her the first time.  Still, we both knew there was a possibility that things wouldn’t be very magic upon arrival.

But that is a chance we both decided to take.  And that is (finally, I know) my last point.  The discussion on this board understandably focuses on the great effort and resources involved in making a trip over, with the obvious implication that it is just too much to do to meet only one person.  Please remember, however, that the hoped-for end result is your sweetheart’s commitment to make an even more difficult journey, with even greater sacrifices, to be with you in America.  It means giving up jobs, apartments, family and friends, culture, language and comfort.

For most couples, there will be some very challenging times together, particularly during the first few months.  We certainly questioned the wisdom of what we had done more than once after she came over.  But neither of us had considered other choices, so there was no “maybe I should have picked him/her instead”.

We got through those periods, and life has been very good to us.  I wish the same for all of you—particularly the single dads—no matter what course you take to find it.

Steve M.

... in response to "The One" or More--It Matters ..., posted by SteveM on Feb 10, 2002

One slight correction from showing my wife the previous post that started this thread:

"I still might have come to meet you if I knew you were meeting other women, but I certainly wouldn't have slept with you"

Without betraying my attempts to be a gentlemen, let me simply say that would have been an indescribable loss :-)

Steve M.

... in response to Response to SteveM's re: "The One&q..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 8, 2002

I think each person will have a somewhat different experience.  While a few have had a success by only going to meet that 1...I do not think most will experience that.  That is really a "leap of faith" as opposed to logic.  Of course romance and love an attraction have never been logical.  For a few it may work and I have no doubt of that.  The question of course is...are you feeling lucky???  When Deckard recently quit his job and left to spend a couple months with just 1 girl...many thought this to be unwise.  Of course we do not experience the quality or the "magic" of his communications which made him to decide to go to spend time with this 1 girl and her family.  He seems to have had a rich and wonderful experience.

Others have gone to meet that 1 girl and it has been very disappointing for them.  essentially,  they thought there was a very good "chemistry" in their letters...but in person,  it was a very different story.  Coupla grand down the drain.

Again,  one can go to meet 12 different ladies there and not have a high interest level in any of them.  Or they in you.  So,  good luck in whatever strategy or pragmatism you use...but love and romance does have a mind of its own.

... in response to Response to SteveM's re: "The One&q..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 8, 2002

....excellent advice. (Gotcha!)

Darn it, it appears I'll have to compliment you on this one, very well said indeed. Lol, to think along these lines it appears you've been hit with the frisbee once or twice yourself.

Serioulsy though, very well said, and your post below to Chip is even better.

... in response to Been hit with a Frisbee MANY times, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 9, 2002

.....mushy is not in my genetic makeup. Even if it was and it got around, I'd deny everything.

But I will acknowedge good posts when I see them and your's were just that.

lol, works both ways however, next time I may not be so kind. :-)

... in response to lp the Norwegian internet hero., posted by Reagan on Feb 9, 2002

...one stupid MoFo ain'tcha? I'll say one thing for you, at least you're consistent.

You can't even connect my respones to your posts. If you could, and have read this board for so long, you would understand the $50 mil comment doesn't relate to my assets.

Bragging and self confidence are two different things, you slack jawed yokel (lol). Self confidence is required in my profession. You need to get some and then you'd understand. You would also have avoided having to go across the pond to find some "babe" to be put up with your back forty mentality. Man, she must be a real piece of work.

Hey, thanx for the compliments! I'm not that old but, yeah, they all tell me I'm pretty good looking. I be aging pretty well, me thinks. Send me a pic and we'll compare notes, eh?

As for my profile, I'm not stupid enough to post my email or details because I know better. Seems you don't. My Mexican comment was intended to show they speak better English than you, I happen to live in a place that is mostly Hispanic.

Hey, how come you never tell us about yourself? What you do, about your "russian babe" (lol, what a neaderthal), ect. At least folks here know about me. What do you do, sell propane and propane accessories?

I've had more job related shrink evals in 20 years than you will have in a lifetime. The gum'mint you love so much says I'm good to go every single day. Say, what do shrinks say about people who have an inability to control their anger? lol, ya gotta do better than this pardner, it's pretty weak.

As for explaining a 91 year old with Alzheimer's, thats easy: Hinkley used a .22 when he should have used something that would have gotten the job done.

As for Patrick, maybe ya didn't read his post about less tolerance with guys like you? Never mind, I know you can be depended on to keep me laughing. Have at it, but don't expect anymore from me.

lol, lol (extra one just for you)....Alpha Mike Foxtrot.

... in response to He he he, posted by Reagan on Feb 9, 2002

You might want to go back and re-read what LP write. He *never* claimed to have $50 M - though I am pretty sure I know how you drew that conclusion.

Seriously - go back and re-read it - and maybe a few prior posts so that you have an understanding of LP's vocation - then you will see how your flawed assumption is misleading your argument.

- Dan