Deckard's trip report - POST #3

[Deckard]

Deckard's trip report - POST #3

Decision and Preparations * end of January - July 3rd, 2001

Sometime near the end of January, after I looked at a lot of pictures of Crimea, I remarked to Luda that one day I would like to come visit Crimea, and she responded that I should come, and she would be my guide, showing me all the beautiful places and telling me many "beautiful legends". She said I would fall in love with Crimea. After that, we set plans that I would come to see her during the summer when she was on vacation from university.

Almost from the very beginning of our correspondence she wrote exclusively to me, despite getting letters from many other guys. I did not write another lady after receiving her first letter. The months passed slowly as our correspondence became more heartfelt and meaningful. It became clear to us both how much we wanted to meet and be with each other. Although we felt a lot for each other, there seemed to be an unspoken rule that we would never use the word "love" to try to describe how we felt about each other. She would tell me later that she knew I would not use this word. In fact, I never even told her that I thought she was beautiful, not that I didn't want to. I decided that I would tell her for the first time, in person.

****SIDENOTE*

The agency where I found Luda's profile was Olenka club, owned by Olga and her husband Eugene. Their prices were quite reasonable by agency standards, they answered my questions personally, and were always helpful in setting up the services that I used through them. These included flowers, a gift for Luda which required them to go out and get it (it was not offered on their website), and eventually, arranging for a driver to ferry me between airports in Kiev and reserving a plane for me from Kiev to Simferopol. I visited Olga and Eugene many times during my stay in Simferopol, and they even let me use their computers for internet access as frequently as I liked, and at no charge. They were very accomodating.

*END SIDENOTE ****

At my work, I tried to arrange for a long vacation during the summer, but they wouldn't let me leave for more than two weeks. So I decided to quit my job a couple of weeks before catching a plane, in order to enable more freedom in my duration of stay over there. Some on this board advised me that this was crazy, and while I listened to them, I decided to follow my gut instinct and set my own priorities. I weighed all the potential consequences, and felt that there would be more to lose by NOT quitting my job and potentially losing a good opportunity at getting to know someone through prolonged contact, rather than a short "hello, goodbye" visit. Simply put, I felt that getting to know Ludmila as best as I can was more important than keeping my job. I'll skip the details on how I arranged for the trip, other than to say that our local Jack Bragg answered many of my questions and helped me on whom to contact about geting a visa. Suffice to say, he was very helpful, even though I never used his services or paid him any money. The one thing Jack did make me concerned about, was he said that 89% of the guys who just write to one lady and then go to meet just that one lady as I was about to do, do NOT end up being successful. Yikes! But I had to follow my heart, and I think Jack understood it too.

With his words ringing in my ears (89% fail .... 11% successful.... 89% fail...), I prepared for departure and quit my job.

---- To be continued in POST #4 ----

[Oatmeal]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #3, posted by Deckard on Jan 21, 2002

I too lost my job over my stay in Ukraine.

I had 4 weeks off for vacation time but I anticipated needing another 2 weeks so I applied for a personal leave of absence from my work.  

Initially it was denied because my request was too vague about what I would be doing with my time over there.  My Human Resources rep. and Assistant Manager both told me that it would not be a problem and that I could re-apply for the personal leave of absence when I return from my trip and that the worst thing that could happen to me would be that I would get a written reprimand and that would be it.

As it turns out I was over there in Odessa, at the time, and about 4 days into my last 2 weeks there I get this e-mail from my Human Resources rep. that there might be a problem with being away from work and that I should return as soon as possible.  

I had to make a decision at that time what I should do.  Should I continue to stay in Ukraine and risk loosing my job or should I return and try to do some damage control.

Now I had just met Anna a few days before and we really had a good feeling for each other and I had to decide between staying with her or jetting home.

Since I was in Odessa, it would have taken me a few days to get home anyway and I would be about a week past my approved vacation time anyway.

My decision was to stay in Odessa.  Now, Anna is here with me and I did lose my job.  I have no regrets about my decision.  

Each man must make his decision as to what is best for his own life and situation.

Jim

[Ramblin]

... in response to Re: Similar circumstances....., posted by Oatmeal on Jan 21, 2002

Jim,
did you ever get another job yet?  Weren't you considering living in Ukraine?  What happened?

[Deckard]

... in response to Re: Similar circumstances....., posted by Oatmeal on Jan 21, 2002


I'm glad you have no regrets about it.

As the saying goes, and I'll modify it ... "Like your job, love your future wife". I would say you've definitely come out better, job or no job.

And, I think probably you are extremely happy now.

Your last statement is perfect. I think everyone should take it to heart, this world would be a kinder place with less judgement.

I'm glad for you, Jim

-Deckard

[wsbill]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #3, posted by Deckard on Jan 21, 2002

No debt...A trip into the unknown would be awesome.  Plus, if you've got a valuable skill that are in short supply over there.  Sounds more like a green light offer, heck...if you've got alot of savings a job at your own agency would probably be an idea way on meeting ladies..

[rojak]

... in response to Re: if you have enough money in savings ..., posted by wsbill on Jan 21, 2002

And of course, assuming your intended is "worthy." Right Bill?

[Richard]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #3, posted by Deckard on Jan 21, 2002

You are one of the few people I know that have given up the security having a job and the income it provides.  I'm glad it seems to be working out so far in your story.  I would have agreed with Zink below that doing so was suicide or something similar.  I am glad you have the courage to do what you believe to be right.

[Deckard]

... in response to Re: Deckard's trip report - POST #3, posted by Richard on Jan 21, 2002


it was scary at times

-Deckard

[Stan B]

... in response to Re: Deckard's trip report - POST #3, posted by Richard on Jan 21, 2002

to quit your job at 25 than at 45. Of course it all depends on your profession, but in my case it would take 10 years for me to get the seniority and position that I have now.

[Deckard]

... in response to its a lot easier, posted by Stan B on Jan 21, 2002


I agree with you Stan, and I think if I was older and further into a career as you are, I would have tried to find another alternative.

As it was, I did lose a little over a year in terms of career advancement, as right now I'm back just about where I started a little over a year ago. But I knew the risks, and I knew the potential benefits.

I knew that I would feel that it was all worth it if it worked out in the end.

I decided to make it happen and see what was in store for me.

-Deckard

[DE]

... in response to its a lot easier, posted by Stan B on Jan 21, 2002

You are so right there.  Although I was one of the ones that thought his decision was ill advised, I admire his gutsy decision for doing something at his age that most men will never have the opportunity to experience.  Whether it worked out or not, it is surely to be a something he will never forget.  My hat's off to him for following his dream!

[Stan B]

... in response to Re: its a lot easier, posted by DE on Jan 21, 2002

:-)

[Zink]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #3, posted by Deckard on Jan 21, 2002

I think I told you it was suicide to quit your job and go there. Well, you sound like you're still alive. But I agree with you that you have to do what you feel is best at the time. So far it looks interesting.

Keep them coming.

[tim360z]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #3, posted by Deckard on Jan 21, 2002

I think you are setting us up for a good read...keep it coming...........