... in response to LP, posted by KenMan on Nov 24, 2001...Your trip was an eye opener in the respect that the city was not as you heard. Then again, how can you come to this conclusion after a single experience? That alone should make you step back and take another look.
Btw yes, at this stage I'm constantly surprised by many things as I'm not *that* arrogant. You aren't surprised?? Hmmmm. And if you see so many beautiful women every week, why are you looking abroad? Are you another A/W hater? Geez, I hope not, they're the sorriest bunch around here.
Many guys here have paid for English lessons. I myself have forked over a lot for this, including girls who I knew would not go far with me. It wasn't much and I know it'll help them later in life. Many here are not
as tight as you imagine, though some are. There are guys here who have, in the name of kindness, spent far more than you will and received nothing more than the satisfaction of helping someone.
Yes, I can be condesending but it's not my intent. It's mostly a lack of tact based on a desire to communicate the information effectively. I'm aware it needs "adjustment", I'm working on it. (I've heard it before, so it must be true.) It comes from having little tolerance for people who whine and do nothing to change their lot in life. The fact is all of us *are* better than others, just in different ways. It's not vanity, simply confidence in one's own abilities. And when it comes to FSU knowledge, many here are "better" than others, including you.
As for taking life too "seriously", that equates very well to your statement that life is what we make it. Some of us need to take it seriously and when it comes to this endeavor, you should also. It isn't a game, ya know. Rose colored glasses? Yikes, I wouldn't be boasting about that. It's a strange statement to make coming from a guy who has claimed to have "been around the block" a few times. Then again I suppose some of us can afford that perspective, I'm afraid I have too much general life experience to permit it.
I disagree on your accepting people for who they are. Well, maybe strangers or those you don't have a choice in dealing with. When it comes to those you *do* have a choice with, like friends, there are two schools of thought.
Accept them regardless of their qualities or lose them and find better. It all depends on what the problem is. You wouldn't associate with drug dealers or criminals would you? One can carry that basic idea a little further and be more selective about human qualities. Does this belief translate into being "better"? I don't know, but it's been a long time since I've tried to make life up as I go along.
I personally feel that one should make an effort to surround one's self with quality people. People who share common goals and viewpoints, people who approach life the same way as myself. It sounds cold and it's much more complicated that what I'm trying to explain, but we *all* do it on some level. Relationships that don't measure up to our values are discarded, those that do are cultivated. We all do it, even if we won't admit it. I simply pay a little bit more attention to it's depth.
I tried it your way and it doesn't work, at least for me. The bad folks drag me down and I've had enough struggles without needing their "help". lol...As I'm fond of saying: "If you like me, tell your friends. If your friends like me, get new friends".
Not to be insulting either, but your plan to find a non English speaking girl, ect, is maybe biting off more than you can chew. Why would you stack the odds when you don't have to? What are you trying to prove? What makes you feel the "diamonds" are neccesarily those that speak no English? Seems to be very strange logic to me, but it's your ballgame.
Seems to me you're allowing your knowledge of human nature gained at home to taint your methods abroad. I agree that people are all pink inside, but to state it's nothing but a few "language and cultural" issues shows you have something to learn and, if you follow through on your plan, learn you will. I also noted you're from the South. This alone will widen the gap even further as your "culture" is unique amoung the rest of America. (lol...btw, this is from a Yankee. :-)
It's been said here before that there is no one right way to go about this. Maybe so, but there sure are many wrong ways. I wish you luck, but me thinks you need to go slowly and think it through.
Finally, I wouldn't boast to much about the NSA. After the largest failure of the intelligence and law enforcement community in history, along with the actions taken since, it's far from their finest hour.
Then again, that's just my opinion. So long.
