It’s been a few weeks since I returned. So I though maybe it was time for a follow up.
The jet lag did not hit me until Thursday of the first week, I got back on a Monday 13 hours late. I was 40 minutes late for work when the plane touched down at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston and that was 7 hours sooner than what American Airlines had set up for because of delays by PAL. I still do not understand most of what I hear in Tagolic (sp) and I can’t speak more than a dozen words (I can count to 9 - hehehehe) but I think several of us over heard that our 747 had been struck by lightening. PAL would not confirm it. Instead they kept delaying our flight 2 hours, every 2 hours, until another 747 flew in from Los Angeles 14 hours later. They, American Airlines, was going to have me sleep in the international terminal in L.A. and not have me leave until 8 AM (LA time) when I had arrived at 8PM. I managed to get enough money together to get my flight adjusted through DFW then Houston. I could not sleep at all on the flight. Just too many things to think about. The jet lag really tore me up too. I think I didn’t understand jet lag until then. I was sleeping all day and staying up all night, even when I stayed up all day. About Thursday of the second week I remembered the sleep aide and took it. Within 2 days I was back to normal. If you call this normal?
The third week is when the depression set in. I really started missing Honey bad. I think twice now I have headed to purchase tickets to fly back and was able to convince myself that it would serve no purpose to move back there. I’ve already checked out the job market in the Philippines and without some investment capital it would be a fast road to poverty. I have also applied at a few jobs in Australia and I believe they really want me at two but they will provide no assistance to relocate. Of course Honey says that she would work but I think that would be the same situation most Filipinas end up in. The woman works and the man stays at home and/or becomes a bum.
On communication the webcam didn’t work to well at first. We tried Microsoft Meeting and never got it to function at all. Then we tried a program called “Eyeball” which worked somewhat but still inconsistently and not very well when it did. Finally I found PalTalk. Excellent program! Very easy to use and configure. We chat/talk/see each other from 4AM till 6AM and then again from 3PM till when ever she needs to leave to do something. Thank God for technology! I have to admit that seeing that smiling, happy face when I leave for work really makes my day so much better.
Marissa webcam transmission wasn’t too good at first. I though it was the light so I asked her to purchase more watt-age but it turned out that all she had to do was set the PalTalk parameters to “default” and the picture came in great!!. Isn’t she so smart! I think when I saw that golden skin, long beautiful hair and her smile was when I first tried to purchase tickets back. I guess I must be pretty stupid. I really didn’t think I would miss her that bad. Now I see that I think about her all day long, even at work like I am now. LOL – oh hi boss!
The “crabs” at the college got a big surprise from me. I wrote a letter complaining about the treatment that she had received because of her decision to drop out of the college scholarship program to marry me. They selectively then decided to charge her for her first year of the program. Honey had researched the program and found that no one has ever been charged for dropping out – not ever. She was the first. Then she went over their heads to the president of the college who “forgave” the debt. The scholarship program administrator, one of Honey’s nemeses, said it didn’t matter and billed her any way. Even signed the president’s permission to the bill. This forced me to use some of my trip money to cover her college expenses so that she could take finals. So I wrote a letter complaining about every bad thing Honey had ever said about that place. The hours and days she had to work – including Sundays. Treatment differences between men/women in the program, the sexual harassment, the numerous teachers and students that came to her, in committees, begging her not to pay the bill so that if they dropped out they would not have to either. I mean, I came down hard and then demanded that they repair the character assassination they had committed, and if they were to bill her for the tuition then they should pay her for the hours she worked as well- including overtime since she was there 14-16 hours/day. To top the whole thing off, I sent copies to the scholarship committee, the president of the college and the Archbishop of the Catholic Diocese of Davao. I also told them that they will refer all questions to me and not to my wife. One of Marissa’s teachers said she is now the “star” of the campus. Still I am not naďve enough to think we’ll win but I am enjoying it.
Honestly, I do not think I would have even bothered if it hadn’t made Honey cry. She had worked so hard for her cum laude position and they were systematically taking it awake from her by refusing to let her take finals. Then letting her make them up at a lower grade. I had to act. I tried to explain to Honey that the degree she would get here in the States would work there and the one she got there probably would help her here but she still wanted to accomplish this on her own. I am very proud of her for that. She has the highest grade on any entrance exam to that college and is the top of her class in almost every course. Still I think she would be better off visiting with family and friends in lieu of her eminent immigration and the fact that I am unsure of how often we will get to return and when.
One of the male scholars, who had made life pretty miserable for her before I made it to Davao, apologized and stayed hidden while I was there. I think he knew I wasn’t going to be too pleasant for his treatment of her. But since then he has actually been very helpful since Honey “save his life from a Bear”.
I made a lot of mistakes in the immigration planning stages. I took the G-325A form with me then forgot to get her to fill it out and bring it back with me to the states. We corrected that real quick but then in filling out the forms I noticed that the “passport photos” where not with the “right ear” showing. So I had to have her retake the pictures and send them again so that once we apply everything will be correct. It would be nice if there was someplace listing steps that we can follow, a checklist of sorts to prevent these delays.
I bought a cute “sexy” outfit while in Davao for Marissa but she refused to wear it. Oh well. Then she sent me the pictures from the last roll of film from our honeymoon. She modeled that outfit for me – Gosshh!. Ya know? I think that’s when I started missing her. It’s all her fault – right. Just teasing Honey! LOL
I have spent a lot more time with other Fil-Am couples since coming home. Setting up a network of support for Marissa to help her with any problems that will come up such as homesickness, friendships and where to find things she is accustom too. It is really amazing how many there are out there who are not members of Planet-Love or Mag-Anak. I think living in Houston is a big plus too because there are really quite a few Asians here. I think that by time she gets her there will be lots of people who will welcome her and lots of things to make her feel at home.
Hey guys tell your Filipinas “Ganda ganda mo” (sounds like it looks and the last word pronounced “mall”). It means, “You are very, very pretty” just like “gwapo gwapo mo” means, “very, very handsome”. I learned it from a Filipino radio station.
Bear
