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Author Topic: mdante99  (Read 16577 times)
mdante99
Guest
« on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
Some of the posts were written by me; some by someone else using my handle.
I checked around; I was told that there is no law against someone using a handle or a name; and there was not much I or anyone could do about it.

I do not subscribe to RWNA.

I think Planet Love is the best board there is for RW/AM relationships. Different views are expressed here, and everyone has an opportunity to listen to varying experiences.

This having said; I have always advocated caution in this pursuit; on this board as well others several times.

This pursuit is not for everyone; and many would get their fingers burnt; and would lose a lot of money in addition to emotional damage.

I can only tell from what I have seen; and the results are not always good for the AM and for the RW as well.

LP and Dan here have described their words of caution much more eloquently than I have.

I will say it again, know your  girl well before you marry, and make sure she is not here for a visa. The problem is that most men are charmed by the beauty, and RW are certainly beautiful women, and pay a price later.

If most people think that I should stop warning people about the possible disaster they may be courting... I would stop; and probably Dan and LP would too.

Finally for the record, many times my handle has been hijacked, I don't have the time or energy to check them all, so I just let them go.

Mark
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mdante99
Guest
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to mdante99, posted by mdante99 on Oct 31, 2001

I have asked this question before; why is it that after the RW arrive here, we never hear from the men again? The only answer I was given was " they are too busy ".

I think the Board is deprived of the experiences, once the RW arrives here.

The only inference I can reach is that men do not like to talk about unpleasant experiences; though I wish I was wrong.

Ken C of course is an exception; his posts are very valuable; and he also advises caution. As I recall he says that look for the same kind of RW as you can get AW in USA.
How many of us heed KenC?

Mark
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Charles
Guest
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to A Question... Disappearing In The Sunset, posted by mdante99 on Oct 31, 2001

I think there is a significant number of married men, including myself, who visit this board and contribute.  Getting her here is just step 1.
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Stevo
Guest
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to A Question... Disappearing In The Sunset, posted by mdante99 on Oct 31, 2001

I've been posting regularly since 10/99, and have been married for 20 months.  So your observation is way off, implying that KenC is the only married regular poster.

Stevo
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KenC
Guest
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to A Question... Disappearing In The Sunset, posted by mdante99 on Oct 31, 2001

Mark,
Your logic is faulty, again.  Why is it you can infer that because married guys are not posting, they then must be unhappy?  Why couldn't they be happy?  Or just too busy?  Or just don't care to help others? Or just frustrated with debating with guys that think they know it all and have yet to accomplish anything?  I could think of hundreds of reasons why guys would not post after they got married; being unhappy would be just one of them (and not even the top of my list).
KenC
ps (your 33% crap below is crap)
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Jack
Guest
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to what about Karl? Bob S? Dan? JonF?, posted by KenC on Oct 31, 2001

And every now and then happily married for 20 months Jack will post something Ken!

I am a firm believer in, and have told many guys, that once you have found your dreambride, after all the time, the effort, the heartache, once your dreambride has stepped off the plane in your city, you are now halfway there.

Now you learn about each other. Now you see how much care and love their is between the two. Now the real test begins.

Seeing and helping many married couples involved in this most wonderful pursuit I have seen that the first year is often the most critical. As my own second year anniversary is quickly approaching, I am wondering when my own Natalia and I will have our "tough times" that I see many couples experience.

I think for the guys who abandon this site, or others they were using, is a foolish mistake. You need the help, the advice, the wisdom of this (or other) Russian boards as much now as you did before.

These boards are great instruments in helping to locate other couples close to you. You must try to find other ladies for your wife's sake, in that she needs some friends who can relate to her and what she is going thru. My own experience has shown me that I must meet 3.2 other couples, or Russian women, for my wife to find a friend she can bond with. So I need to introduce her to 10 other Russian ladies for her to find three potential close friends. In North Texas I have been lucky in that we have found and built a pretty good group of about 50 couples, but it took work, this group was not created overnight, and a lot of these couples came from the use of this and other Russian boards.

So to me the guys who abandon the Russian boards after there lady arrives are making a mistake.
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KenC
Guest
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: what about Karl? Bob S? Dan? JonF?, posted by Jack on Oct 31, 2001

Jack,
You were on my list too.  But then I forgot when I went to type the subject line.  DUH!
KenC
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BubbaGump
Guest
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to what about Karl? Bob S? Dan? JonF?, posted by KenC on Oct 31, 2001

Dave the Kiwi posted a couple of months ago.  He sounded happy.  He said his wife was very attractive.  Several other guys just made a few posts after getting married.  I think a decent guy will usually hold onto his wife.  

Guys only use this board for advice while looking.  After they have their wife there's better stuff to do.  Their wife probably has a lot of housework for them to do and would consider surfing the net a waste of time.

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JOnF
Guest
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to A Question... Disappearing In The Sunset, posted by mdante99 on Oct 31, 2001

Mark and all,

  I pop in occasionally to see how guys are doing 15 months after I was married. If I can field any HuhHuh??please shoot!\
JOnF
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BubbaGump
Guest
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: A Question... Disappearing In The Su..., posted by JOnF on Oct 31, 2001

Did your wife insist on living in California?  I have lived there and I know that some immigrants think it is the only place worth living in the US besides NYC.

Were you worried about your family and friends accepting your foreign wife or you for getting a wife like this?
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JOnF
Guest
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to I have some lame questions?, posted by BubbaGump on Oct 31, 2001

BG,
Oh yes... and about friends and family,  I told everyone up front what I was doing and some were a bit doubtful...but over time they see and talk to my wife and see we're happy together. My guesstimate is about 12 months for people to realize it's legit and I didn't have to trade cattle to her family for her hand  and that she's got good intentions. They all think it was a novel way to meet one's spouse.
JOnF
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JOnF
Guest
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to I have some lame questions?, posted by BubbaGump on Oct 31, 2001

BG,

  My wife likes California, but doesn't want to live there. We live in Arizona, but will be moving shortly to the Pac NW. Yes, you're right...the common concensus is that there are only "cowboys" between NYC and CA...
JOnF
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BubbaGump
Guest
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: I have some lame questions?, posted by JOnF on Nov 1, 2001

Yeah, I forgot you were from Arizona.  I tell women how hot it is here and they say they just can't even imagine it.  I aways wanted to take women to see the southwest when I was living other places.  It has more to see here than I even knew about.  

BG
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ron
Guest
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: A Question... Disappearing In The Su..., posted by JOnF on Oct 31, 2001

hello jonf, what has been the biggest challange in the past 15 months?

how has she adapted to being away from home?

has she started driving or working and what was all that like if so?

how long did you search, where did you go, how many ladies did you meet before you found the right one?
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JOnF
Guest
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Re: A Question... Disappearing In Th..., posted by ron on Oct 31, 2001

Ron,

  Well, there have been quite a few challenges in these first months. I'll list a few.
1) Homesickness. If anyone ever thought RW would come here without a thought of Russia, boy is that wrong. There is not a day that goes by that Nata doesn't miss her family and friends...and dog.

2) Food. Nata doesn't really like much American food. When we do find a restaurant she likes, she gets burned out on it quickly. At home her mom cooks...

3)  Language. I would call Nata's english good but finding good quality college esl classes or tutors has been difficult. She desperately wants to be fluent and is frustrated. BIGGEST language challenge!!!! The Russian language has no ARTICLES and this makes english difficult.

4) Entertainment. Finding sufficient activities is a bit difficult. Nata loves to travel, so we've been burning quite a bit of jet fuel

There are others but I can't really think of them...

Adapted to being away from home...she misses home and calls 3 times per week. She spent 6 weeks in russia last summer.
She does well here, but still thinks Americans are a strange, talkative, superficial, chatty and gossipy sort of folk. She has just a few Russian girlfriends here in town.

Driving...she wants to and has a learning permit, but is still a bit overwhelmed. She will improve and want to drive more as time goes by.

Working...she has a p/t job and likes being busy. She also liked opening a checking account and getting her first VISA card!!

My story... well it's almost a bit lame after seeing all of the excellent stories out there! In April 1999 I started writing 25 or so women. I used Anastasia and wrote personalized letters delivered via express mail. The first response was from a 24 year old 5'8" blonde bombshell with intelligence and a good heart and what can I say...
I received quite a few more letters and none had the magnetism or charm of Nata's. We wrote letters (SNAILMAIL) for nearly 6 months BEFORE we even began talking on the phone. We talked on the phone for 4 more months before I went to meet her. I KNEW everything about her BEFORE we met. NO SURPRISES. With all the pictures we'd exchanged, I knew exactly what she looked like. NO SURPRISES. We had a great time, were engaged the first week and I was walking on the clouds...Yeah, I know... I could have played the field and had some FSU fun, but stuff happens. I traveled 14000 miles to meet 1 woman, my wife. Oh make that 30000 miles I forgot I returned in July, 2000.
This is way too long...I'm sorry. If there are any specifics, shoot!!!
JOnF
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