REAL LIFE REAL TIME CALI STORIES

[OkieMan]

... in response to Women do have a thing for bad boys, posted by utopiacowboy on Sep 25, 2005

UC,

Well, with your wife's training and background that makes sense. As usual, I can see how you are so lucky!  But, the "bad boy" crap is just that!  They want to go out on Saturday night and drop their pants for him.  But, when he knocks them up and knocks them around, they go home crying to Mommy!  That always made me want to puke!!  My Dad was and still is a strong natured man.  My mother was a stay at home Mom.  I came from a very conservative, traditional family.  Now, I will admit that in many ways, I don't want a woman like my Mom.  I love her to death, but I don't want a woman just like her.  But, I greatly admire my parents for working out their many differences for well over 50 years of marriage.  So, I know what it means to be the leader-- to wear the pants in the family.  One the one hand, I have been married twice, so I have the experience. It's just that the marriages did not work out, so I guess my track record isn't so good.   One thing is for sure,  I  don't want to put up the head games, etc.  So, I will continue my search and get on with my life.

                         OkieMan

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Women do have a thing for bad boys, posted by OkieMan on Sep 25, 2005

Don't go for the women that like the bad boy type. They tend to have low self esteem and make horrible choices as partners so don't even think you are getting shafted because these women are not interested in you, they just aren't worth it.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: Women do have a thing for bad bo..., posted by stefang on Sep 25, 2005

Yep, I totally agree.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: REAL LIFE REAL TIME CALI STO..., posted by OkieMan on Sep 25, 2005

Okie

It is what they now and respect. Sorry if it burst your bubble of a latina, but you need to treat them with respect, but let it be known 100% who the boss is or they will destroy you. Sorry, just the way there culture is and the way they are taught. In some ways an AW is much more suited to be a wife to us from a logical standpoint. Nobody looks for a latin wife for intelegent conversation and logic, they look for  afection and someone to need them.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: REAL LIFE REAL TIME CALI..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Sep 25, 2005

Kiltboy !,

I have no problem being the "in charge" type of guy. I am also a very sentimental, romantic type guy.  But, this "reading the signals" is where I drop the ball.  From that stand point, most women are like that in one way or the other.  But, I still don't like it.  But, I guess that's women for you, and there's no changing them.  So, maybe, I should just adopt the "Caveman" approach that you or someone said on the board.  Just drag them by the hair of the head into the cave, and show them who's boss!! ha
Boy, if the women's libbers could only hear me now! ha

                                 OkieMan

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: REAL LIFE REAL TIME CALI STO..., posted by OkieMan on Sep 25, 2005

From what I have heard from others and experienced myself Latinas want an edge to you. Even my ex fiance seemed to want to cause some fights to spice up the relationship. I didn't have that type of personality I am a slow burner that would just get more pi$$ed off as I went but she could turn it on an off like a faucet. everything is stereotyping in one form or another but I think they want Hector with an American paycheck.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: REAL LIFE REAL TIME CALI..., posted by stefang on Sep 25, 2005

Stefang,

You could be right; sort of like that stupid show- Desperate Housewives.  Eva Langoria can't keep her pants pulled up, but her character sure likes the lifestyle that her husband gives her.  I wouldn't have a woman like that!
Fortunately, I think there are many women who are good and honest and decent.  It just seems difficult to meet them.  As far as the temperment goes; when I was young, I had a bad temper. I never hit my wife, but I had a short fuse. As I have gotten older, I am much more patient.

                                     OkieMan

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: REAL LIFE REAL TIME ..., posted by OkieMan on Sep 25, 2005

She is hot. I'd like to see her TV husband give it to her right in her chiquito.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: REAL LIFE REAL TIME CALI STORIES, posted by OkieMan on Sep 24, 2005

My opinion,she changed  her mind.The only non strait thing was she didn't tell you why.
I know more,I hesitate to be brutal.But you don't
get it so  I will send you a private mail.
In an hour or so,busy bright now.

Pete

[soltero]

... in response to Re: REAL LIFE REAL TIME CALI STORIES, posted by OkieMan on Sep 24, 2005

"Maybe the next one won't lie to me."

In what way did she lie to you? When did you realize you were being lied to? How are you going to be more careful the next time? Are you planning on returning to Cali? Have you been looking into other Colombian cities or other Central or South American countries? When do you plan on taking your next trip? Could you elaborate more on your general perceptions of the Colombians you encountered in general and the culture? How did your initial meeting with your lady go? Did she see you off when you left? Did you get any kind of indication that she wasn't being honest with you? If so, could you share that with us? Have you been corresponding with anymore Latinas since you got back home? If you have, have you felt like any of them are lying to you as well? Do you feel that you can gauge someone's personality through and email? What was your initial feeling about her level of honesty when you first met? Did you think she was a liar before you returned home? The next time you go, do you plan to stick with one or do you plan to meet more? How is your spanish coming? Are you able to find time practicing the language? Do you know any hispanic people that you can practice conversing with? Are all of the questions that you are asking helping you to get a clear picture on how you want to proceed in this venture?

[OkieMan]

... in response to Just Curious..., posted by soltero on Sep 24, 2005

Soltero,

Boy, that is a long list of questions! You're not a police interrogator are you?  Just kidding.  I will try to give you a little insight to what I am referring to.  The lady I was referring to was a lady that I started corresponding with via emails through Latin Internet last January.  After a short while, I thought I sensed that this lady was a very special lady.  So, we corresponded through May.  I had been planning a trip to Cali, since I had enjoyed myself there one time before.  So, as I made my plans, I let her know when I would arrive.  She arranged to meet me at the airport.  An interpretor was there to help us, since I do not speak much spanish.  After visiting for a good while, we made plans to spend my time in Cali together.  Actually, we had talked about that for quite some time when we corresponded; but as you know, it's different than meeting someone in person.  Well, she was very beautiful to me.  She was 35, with 1 grown son.  I was staying at Pete's apartment for the 9-10 days I was there.  The lady and I spent a lot of time together, and she even gave me a birthday party at her apartment.  She introduced me to her sister and her family.  All in all, a great time.  The problems started after I got back home, and she was not emailing me for several days.  I did several things to follow up,  I made calls and sent emails; but no answer for over a week.  Then, when I did get in touch with her, she claimed that her mother was sick. In fact, she told me her mother was sick while I was in Cali, and supposedly after I came home, the old lady went into the hospital.   I probably will never know if that is true or not, but naturally I showed a lot of concern for her mother.  Through more emails and calls,  we had agreed to continue to stay in touch via emails,and I also made more phone calls. After all, I thought that this lady and I were in a "relationship". The last phone call was a 3 way call with an the same lady interpretor I had used in Cali.  But, then everything stopped, and later  the intrepretor told me that she had talked to this lady  and she seemed to have changed; and she was no longer interested.  Pete had also become a little involved because he and his girlfriend had met the lady I was with when I brought her Pete's place.  This is way too much a "soap opera" for me.  My point was that if the lady had not been truly interested, all she had to do was say so.  I had asked her repeatedly how she felt.  I did not want to simply assume anything. If she had bowed out, I would have had time to see other ladies.  However, I thought that there was something really special about this girl, so I only saw her.  BIG MISTAKE!  Still, I am not the first guy this has happened to and I won't be the last.  But, my bigger concern is trying to learn from my mistakes; and also learn the language and the culture.  That will take time, and I understand it would be better if I was fluent in spanish.  But, you don't just snap your fingers at make that happen.  And yes, I am trying to check out other cities as well; with Medellin being on the top of my list.  But, I haven't written off Cali either.  However, next time, I will focus more on meeting several ladies, and trying to see how it goes.   Based on what I have read on the board, I believe you have a lot of experience travelling to Colombia, and maybe other Latin American countries.   How do you handle it?  I am really attracted to the ladies, but I certainly don't understand the culture yet; but I am working on it.  That's the best I can do at this time.

                           OkieMan

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Just Curious..., posted by OkieMan on Sep 24, 2005

You know, Okie, the whole episode is still very strange to me. Was she evaluating you the whole time you were togther and then afterwards decided that you weren't right for her? It still seems to me that she did several things that would lead me to believe she cared about you such as introducing you to her family and throwing you a birthday party. I am also wondering if something happened with her mother that made her reevaluate whether she could leave Colombia. MAybe she realized that her mother did not have much time left and so she had better not pursue the relationship with you. There are a lot of unanswered questions. She really doesn't sound like the type to play you and I am not sure that you were, in fact, played. I have to agree that this is one time when it would have been good to be able to speak her language.

I also hope that if you encounter someone else who turns out to be worthy of your trust, you respond to her without this baggage.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Just Curious..., posted by utopiacowboy on Sep 24, 2005

I agree UCB

In my experiance with latin women the american words of affection do not do anything to stir emotions in theses ladies. I LOVE YOU  or  I NEED YOU or I MISS YOU, just does not cut it with them and in that respect , they may become bored with the man and crave the attention and romance that a latin man, or a man that knows how to put his words of admiration into her language, only can give her. One thing i have learned in all my mistakes and acomplishments with these women is that  THEY GET BORED VERY EASY.So you always need to be crative in how you shower them with affection  because a latin man will always win if you become complacent. Just like a post a week or so ago stated that his girlfriend went to a soccer game and saw many of the agency women that had gringo boyfriends, with a latin man as well--BECAUSE HE HAS GOT GAME AND A REALLY SLICK TOUNGE TO CHARM THE PANTS OFF OF THEM .

Learning the basic words of affection will get you miles with them. I cannot tell you some of the ABSOLUTE LOSERES  i have run into in colombia that just could not understand why these women were not falling at his feet. HELOOOOOOOOOOOO

NO GAME PERIOD !
BAD HYGENE !
BAD HAIRCUT !
BAD CLOTHES !( DRESS ITALIAN)hint hint

At least armed with some wordsl of affection and style, you have got a better then average of meeting a great woman and more important---KEEPING HER.

[OkieMan]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Just Curious..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Sep 25, 2005

Kiltboy 1,

Ok, now we are getting to some interesting stuff.  You mentioned that the girls don't relate to the words we us; the I love you, etc.  If not, then what are the words? Please tell me the spanish and the english translation.  We will probably never understand why the girls do what they do; but I find it interesting that the latinas want the "silver tongued devil", so to speak; but if the guy literally talks her out of her pants, gets her pregnant and then dumps her- what has she got?  Supposedly, they are complaining about that kind of crap, but they are falling for it again, and again?  Is that it?  That is pure stupid!!  Now, I realize that all women are not alike, so I don't want to lump all of them together.  I would be willing to bet that the biggest problem with the latinas is the same problem with teenage and 20 something american girls-- they are young and immature.  Big shock there, huh?  I am more interested in what a 30 year old lady with a great body, and a great heart thinks.  But, if the 30 year old is still dropping her pants for the line of bull that "Hector" is putting out, then she is really stupid.  If she is not, then she is smarter, but mainly lonelier.  Well, here I come to the rescue, Baby!! ha  At least that's the plan.  So, getting back to your post, what "sweet words" can I use on the ladies?  I know it would be better if I were fluent in spanish, but if I have a few choice words or phrases, maybe it would help. As far as the personal hygiene, I got that covered.  I'm no Brad Pitt, but I am not some pig either.  I always dress well for the ladies, smell good, etc.  Still, I would like to "get inside the ladies' heads".  But, I find it funny and interesting also-  I don't think the latinas are concerned at all about getting into our heads.  I guess we must be fairly easy to figure out.  With us the challenge is to think with our big head, and not with our little head! ha

                             OkieMan

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Just Curious..., posted by OkieMan on Sep 25, 2005

Okie

Remeber this only my experiances as i see these women in a more skeptical light then many idealist here on the board, so as they say in advertising "INVIDIUAL RESULTS MAY VARY"  and i have no trouble meeting or dating latin woman and i usually get the  one i am after . I am not sure why as i am average looking but i am just as "SLICK TOUNGED"  as my latin counterparts when it comes to expressing  words of affection.I only learned this from observing the many ladies behavior that i have met and since i am in sales, i ask a tremendous amount of questions  of every woman i speak with  be it in person, the internet, phone, i really ask lot of hardass questions  but at the same time complement them as well . Larry King with the softball approach i am not.I know how to touch there hand and at the same time tell them they better not play me because i am savey to that game and also how beautiful they are in the same sentence. Now maybe it is more illusion then reality, but most latin  woman want illusion in there life and the reason they will maybe be sexual with a latin man is because they really only live for the moment because many of them do not believe they have much of a future, which is sad .I have said this before that if you really want to be successful and KEEP  your woman, learn to tell her what she wants to hear. no woman want to hear english words they do not understand . contact me by email okie and i will give you the words to learn and know.Oh, the 30 + year old women are even more lonely, even the really hot ones. to me better then the younger ones.