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Author Topic: The devil made him do it! lol  (Read 10217 times)
Mr Kabalaka
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« on: December 06, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »


       NEWS  National        
   
           
Thursday, December 6, 2001 10:59 PM ZE8


Man heeds Bible, cuts off penis By JAIME ESPINA
TODAY Correspondent

BACOLOD CITY—Despondent since his wife left him three years ago to work as a maid in Manila and did not communicate with him, Roland Magsipoc took to reading the Bible for comfort.

He became so engrossed with the Holy Book that he began taking its message literally, particularly the admonition about cutting off sinful parts of the body.

Around 11 p.m. Tuesday, Magsipoc, convinced that his sexual organ, whose erection he could not control, was leading him to perdition, laid it on a piece of bamboo, took his spading, or cane cutter, and lopped it off.

Magsinoc's brother-in-law, Jiji Batayo, who witnessed the incident, was not able to stop him. He rushed his bleeding kin to a hospital.

Batayo said they were not able to find the cut portion of the penis, which he described as having "flown off into the darkness."

Interviewed at the Corazon Locsin Montelibano Memorial Regional Hospital where he is recuperating, Magsipoc said he has no regrets about living the rest of his life with only the stump of his sexual organ.

He sounded relieved, saying his erect organ looked to him like a snake poised to strike and that he was glad he had cut it off before it could lead him to sin.

He said his favorite song is Tukso, an obsessed woman's plea for temptation to turn away, even as he urged people not to watch bold films or read lewd tabloids and not to adore images and statues of saints.

He said he believed it was the devil who made him cut his penis.

Batayo said Magsinoc became depressed when he failed to receive word from his wife, with whom he has been married for five years and with whom he has a three-year-old son.

Soon after, he sought refuge in the Bible. Magsinoc would spend most of his time reading it and would often preach its contents to his in-laws and relatives. With G. Bayoran/TODAY


This was copied right from the Manila  new paper today  I never laughed so hard in my life! ROTFLMAO!   Humabdos

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Dave H
Guest
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to The devil made him do it! lol, posted by Mr Kabalaka on Dec 6, 2001

Hi Hum,

It sounds like an evil penis to me! "flown off into the darkness." He should have tied a string around it. It could have put someone's eye out.

Roland should have been taken to the John Wayne Bobbit Memorial Hospital. I hear they have an excellent "organ" donor and transplant program. ;o)) They even take trade-ins from those wishing to move up to a bigger model.


Dave H.

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Ray
Guest
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to ROF...Trying not to think evil thoughts...., posted by Dave H on Dec 7, 2001

Dave,

I'm glad to see that married life hasn't dampened your sense of humor. Where have you been?

Speaking of trading up to a bigger model: your long lost cousin Scottie stopped in the other day but I guess you missed him before Patrick flushed his post (ROFL!)

Say hi to the Mrs...

Ray

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kevin
Guest
AKA
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to You're Terrible!, posted by Ray on Dec 7, 2001


Mr. Woody Woodpecker!

- Kevin

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Dave H
Guest
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to You're Terrible!, posted by Ray on Dec 7, 2001

Hey Ray,

My wife just started to work and we have been running around getting things in order. I have also been teaching my older son to drive my car (stick). Today we worked on "burn outs." ;o)

Poor Scottie...flushed down the crapper like a common tuboe. Was he able to "surf" around the bowl a couple of times before fading off into darkness? I hope that Patrick at least used the Golden Tabo. ;o))

I was sorry to hear about that guy losing his burat, but I heard it was no big deal. ;o))

A hi also to your Mrs...

Dave H.

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Mr Kabalaka
Guest
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Surf's Up!, posted by Dave H on Dec 7, 2001

Did you guys see Jean's new catfight site?  I hope Patrick don't look at dem pics! I'll be banned for life! I didn't look at them till now ! OMG!   LOL
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Dave H
Guest
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to re: surf is way up!, posted by Mr Kabalaka on Dec 7, 2001

Hey Hum,

I liked it! Some guys like cock fights, as for me... give me a good ole' cat fight any day. Even better...let me tag in. ;o)))

Dave "MEOWWWwww..." H.

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kevin
Guest
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to ROF...Trying not to think evil thoughts...., posted by Dave H on Dec 7, 2001

is the missile launching pad.

- Kevin

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Dave H
Guest
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to All that's left . . ., posted by kevin on Dec 7, 2001

Hey Kevin,

I wonder if he would get "half off" on a sex change operation?

I wonder if he has to sit down to pee?

Does he use the men's or ladies CR?

It seems some people would rather "receive" than give.

If your going to amputate your penis, you'd better practice first.

Somewhere out there is a happy dog that found a "bone."

I wonder if the dog said, "it tastes like cock...er chicken.

People can no longer call him a "dick," but can still refer to him as an "azz."

It just goes to show you...you shouldn't believe everything you read or hear from a dog named "Sam."

Dave H.


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kevin
Guest
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to I wonder...Hmmmm..., posted by Dave H on Dec 7, 2001


Well, maybe it took root in some wetland region and mushrooms are now spreading like wildfire.
Or, maybe some squirrel saw the head and either ate it or broght it down to his winter hibernation stash.

- Kevin

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Ray
Guest
« Reply #10 on: December 06, 2001, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to The devil made him do it! lol, posted by Mr Kabalaka on Dec 6, 2001

"flown off into the darkness"? Hey, maybe the darn thing was posessed.

"looked to him like a snake poised to strike"? Yep, that's one of them thar Filipino One-Eyed Spitting Cobras! ROFL!

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