Girl's response time !?

[Kit]

Fellas,

I was wondering if this is normal or some kind of a signal to me. The lady I meet and spent some quality time with in Cali this Nov rarely writes me emails even though she says she can check email 2-3 times a week. When I was in Cali she said she could write 2-3 times a week but gradually this transformed into like 2 week for a single message. I really want to keep momentum going but she rarely replies emails and almost impossible to get through to on the phone. When I met her in person she seemed to be very genuine and I was hoping for a relationship with her. But now as our communication seems to be fading away I am loosing hopes for her. It feels like when I am available in person she is interested in me but when I am away is like we never met. Did any of you encountered this kind of behaviour? What may that mean?

P.S. There is another girl who I communicate with and she appears to be eager to write to me. But I like her less.

[toucanrich]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

I think all of you are of you are right and wrong.  Let me explain.  You have to remember that some of these girls have to live on $ 100 - $ 200 per month.  I was writing a girl that took care of her aunt and herself on $ 100 per month.  Another girl that went out on a double with a friend I met in Cali and mayself and the girl mentioned had a son and both girls did the same work and made about $ 100 per month and we ask how they made it.  The girls held their hands to their throat and to strangle themselves.  I think that sometimes we expect to much from some of them.  After all they have to spend a lot of time to just make enough for food and live in a house that may have been in the family for generations.  So when they don't drop everything and cater to us we wonder why.  

I had that situation with a lady I met in Paraguay.  I ask her why she did'nt email me more.  She made good money and the internet place was just a block away.  But she reminded me that my computer was sitting in my office and she did work 10 hours a day and have to ride the bus so her total day was as much as 14 hours with travel time etc.

I also found that if there is interest and then it drops a second trip to Cali told me a lot of things.  We broke off and I started a new relationship.  You just have to stop and try to look into the character of the person.  We all get fooled sometimes.

Also I dont think that buying something for them if a red flag.  You have to understand how they think.  They think we are all rich even if we are ditch diggers.  It is nice to do something for them even if the relationship does not develope in a long tern one.  Let good judgement be your guide.  Dont over do it.

Richard

[Darkstar]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

I'm have been writing a lady in Venezuela for almost a month now. She writes me every day and we try to connect with messenger everyday as well. She shows real interest. If you have a real connection with a women with maturity and character it is usually easy to tell. Also, I test her from time to time. I compare letters from a period of time to see if she changes her story, etc. I also used a bogus e-mail to see if she was honest when she said that she was sticking with me until my trip a couple of months from now. I sent her an e-mail saying that I saw her profile and I wanted to get to know her better. She told me see got this letter and did not even respond! See said that she trusted me too do the same. I cannot handel more that one relationship at a time. Letter writing between vists can be a good way to continue to develop a relationship and a way to look for red flags. I guess I'm very cautious and she must earn my trust.

Tim.

[wizard]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

Follow the lead from all these posters... Huge RED FLAG... Her interest level in you is definitely low...

I had the same problems in Cali... Every time I would go, there would be a high interest level from the girls... The longer I was away, the fewer emails I would get and they would not be available when I called...

If a girls interest level is not high enough to stay in contact with you, move on...

wizard

[gmello]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

call united airlines and get back on that plane to L America and start over but remmber always have a back up game plan

ps if you fail to plan then you plan to fail

they other girl that is calling she is more for you l

let the calena's lead the way then you just follow their actions

[sb25]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

Yeah, I have the same problem with one girl that
I am real interested in. She sends me an email every Friday.
It's usually very short, and says the same thing every week.
I write a lot and she writes very very little.
It started bothering me, and I have begun to decide that I needed someone more communicative. With this in mind, I just quit writting,
and then wouldn't you know it.... she wants to know why I didn't write.

I have no other signs of anything bad. She never asks me for anything but letters when I don't send them, so I have trouble just breaking it off. I like to think she is just shy or inexperienced, but who knows? I have others that write a lot, and I think to myself "They can write, so she should be able to" , so it's just fizzling out naturally.
Oh well.

****I wrote this away from an internet connection, and now I see there are some posts under this thread. It's good to see other's input.

[mudd]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

If she was really interested in you, she would write. It’s a HUGH red flag. Don’t waste your time and move on. if all of a sudden, she changes and out of the blue and starts writing, and saying, "why don’t you write me" it usually means she was dating somebody else, either got dumped, or she was the "dumper" and she is looking for the next victim. as one of my girlfriends says, "you were the flavor of the month"

[mudd]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

If she was really interested in you, she would write. It’s a HUGH red flag. Don’t waste your time and move on. if all of a sudden, she changes and out of the blue and starts writing, and saying, "why don’t you write me" it usually means she was dating somebody else, either got dumped, or she was the "dumper" and she is looking for the next victim. as one of my girlfriends says, "you were the flavor of the month"

[Pete E]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

If she does not respond even though she knows how this is a huge RED FLAG!You will NOT have this problem with a girl who is interested in you.So guess what,SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.The worst thing you could do is to manipulate her in to pretending enough interest to really cause you problems.Its not enough you are interested in them,they need to be interested in you.When they are you will know it and there will be none of this nonsense.Move on.You don't have the right girl here.
Yes I know,she was charming and SEEMED(obviously not so)  interested in you and you are very interested in her.Reading between the lines is essential to avoid big mistakes. Don't get carried away acting on  wishfull thinking.

Pete

[Kit]

... in response to Red flag of disinterest, posted by Pete E on Dec 16, 2002

The thing is if I go back to Cali and meet her, I am sure she will be anxious to meet me again. Just does not make sence. The interest is only there when I am there. As soon as I leave, the interest fades away.

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Red flag of disinterest, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

sounds like a flake, dont waste your time.

[hankkh]

... in response to Girl's response time !?, posted by Kit on Dec 16, 2002

I had a girl from Cali that used to write me every week and was always avilable when I called. That was 2001 and now in 2002 she is never home and writes once a month. She now lives with another man in Cali so I guess that is the reason. Of course she didn't tell me that. I think lack of interest from a girl from Cali is how you know that she has moved on. She will not tell you anything about her boyfriend/boyfriends and she will show a little interest but not much. You just have to read between the lines and she will let you hang on as long as you want. At least that was my experience. I kept thinking she would tell me the truth and I wasted a lot of time hanging on. Good luck!