too fast?

[chevy]

I posted my profile and got an e-mail from a lady in Lima. 35 years old, never maried. She says she wants to meet a man for marriage and
she likes me and will I give her the chance to make me happy,she wants to meet me, etc.
She gave me her phone number and hopes I will call her. I would rather write for a little bit before a call to kind of test her. When someone moves so quick I get nervous.
  Does this sound like the right approach? Write for a while then call. Or are these woman on a fast track at age 35 and to be trusted?

[lswote]

... in response to too fast?, posted by chevy on Nov 15, 2002

Four years ago, I had a relationship with an American women I met in a chatroom.  We talked by phone and internet for 18 months on a daily basis and had incredible chemistry.  Unfortunately for me, she had lied about what she looked like and had sent me pictures of someone else claiming they were her.  When I finally met her (not voluntarily on her part, but finally one day I just showed up), I found someone I had NO physical interest in and despite incredible chemistry on the phone and internet the relationship was over.

I learned from this that you need to meet people you are talking to as quickly as is reasonable as chemistry is everything in a relationship.  Talking on the phone is better than emailing and meeting in person is better than talking on the phone.  DO NOT have a prolonged relationship with someone you have never met!  This woman you are emailing is not moving too fast, she is being smart.

[bogota vet]

... in response to too fast?, posted by chevy on Nov 15, 2002

Go ahead and call, this is the 21st century.

Use interent cafe webcam also, if you wish.

Chemisty on phone, then fly down and see her.

[elcolombiano]

... in response to too fast?, posted by chevy on Nov 15, 2002

I don't understand all you guys spending a lot of time and emotion on someone you have not even met. Chances are high the moment you meet her (if you ever do) you will not even like her or she may not like you.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: too fast?, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 15, 2002

Yes you really don't know what you have here or if you are interested untill you meet her.But if you fly all the way to Lima have a plan B.If there is no chemistry or other problems move on quickly to check out other options.I would do some agency research and check them out if miss maybe is not miss right.Don't tie yourself down to spending all your time with her if you are not interested.One of the biggest time and money(and emotion )wasters is to get way ahead of yourself with someone you never met and then have a wasted trip when it doesn't work.Maybe even check out Colombia while you are in the area if Lima is a bust.
And of course send no money yet.You don't know that miss wonderfull is not Mrs.50 year old scam artist like someone recently posted.
To me its a waste off time to get emotionally invested in someone you never met.I guess its ok for advanced reconicense if you are going anyway.My advice,get your butt on the airplane.You find out more in the first 60 seconds of meeting them than 6 months of e-mails.And its a numbers game.You never know when it will really click with someone so plan to meet alot of women untill it does.
Plus its so much more fun having a number of women to meet that fantasizing long distance about someone you never met.It is a cheap mind f--k for those so inclined however.

Pete

[corv]

... in response to Re: too fast?, posted by elcolombiano on Nov 15, 2002

Everyone always picks there best photo they do it and we do it. You know the photo that made you look skinny, younger, less bald, or taller. I saw a girls photo wrote a couple times, got another photo, damm that 9.5 turned into a 1.2. In reverse, I sent a girl a photo we met at the train station and instantly I knew she was disapointed. It goes both ways. Meeting in person before anything (I think) is truely the best way. Then you can both see what your getting into. In a man's mind not much can be worse than to have an emotional attachment to someone you haven't seen, then upon meeting be disapointed by them physically. You are then torn by what is right to do and what you want to do.

[Aaron]

... in response to too fast?, posted by chevy on Nov 15, 2002

go ahead and call. that's not too bad. you can talk to her, and get a better feel versus trying to rely on her messages alone. but, a way to test her is to see if she invests her money and time sending emails, AND receiving your calls to get to know you.

if she doesn't invest time and money for sending emails, or if she isn't the type of person that likes to write; then her interest level is not as high.

one thing also is if she invites you to visit only after about a couple of weeks after the initial call, then that isn't a good sign.

give it a couple of months, not weeks.

aaron