IMO

[FenixRises]

Hello all.
I have found much of interest on this forum for a while now.
The recently reported (mis)adventures of a couple of posters and the insuing, sometimes heated, discussions have provided us all with real insight into the nature of the human male. At least I hope so.
Rather than re-inventing the wheel I often use what others have written to spark the thinking process.
In my youth there was a popular song that contained these lyrics

"You don't always get what you want but you always get what you need".

IMO the difference between what I want and what I wind up getting is a good measurement of how realistic I am with myself about myself. And I think this is also a good measurement of how realistic other people are about themselves, provided they tell the truth.
On a slightly different slant some people might also call this the "Settle For" factor.

In other words I want a drop dead gorgeous "10" but I'll settle for a passable "6".
Or
I want a lean mean sex machine who will fulfill my every fantasy but I'll settle for someone who will get naked with me hopefully twice a month.
These comparisons can easily include our "wants" for all the other feminine qualities, each of us as individuals, would like to have in our ideal mate.
IMO there is no better indicator of the person I am than the woman who finds me desireable and agrees to be my spouse. IMO my spouse will always be the truest reflection of who I am.
After much forceful prodding by the object of his desire the character that Jack Nickelson recently played, in "As Good As It Gets", told her, in the form of a compliment "You make me want to be a better man".
Do you believe that your current or prospective spouse stands as challenge for you to be a better man?
And
Do you believe that by your example you challenge your spouse to "Want to be a better woman".
I have thrown the ball into the middle of the field, kick around for a while and let us see where it winds up going.
Fred

[Houndog]

... in response to IMO, posted by FenixRises on Jul 24, 2001

***sometimes heated, discussions have provided us all with real insight into the nature of the human male. At least I hope so.***

I really agree with you on that, if you don't mind a word or two first before approaching your questions. You know I see everything as an oppurtunity to paint a mental picture for myself...like a constantly evolving chess game in 4 dimensions...and with all this I try to sharpen my own powers of observation and deduction. To enhance my ability to see and see through when neccesary. I find it great mental exercise. I believe it gives me some small advantage when dealing with the many varied problems life presents. But if nothing else it keeps my mind tuned.

**Do you believe that your current or prospective spouse stands as challenge for you to be a better man?**

You know I really do feel that. I was fortunate enough to have found and been found by a wonderful, sweet, humble, loving, caring, nuturing lady. She smiles the most beautiful smile when she see's me return at night. That radiance motivates me to push a little harder during the work day and try my best not to be late. But most of all she motivates me to think about her and respect her in ways that insure I do things for her so that 'I don't disappoint her' or let her down. The motivation to want another person to be happy and feel secure.

Good thread...my toothache needs attention..hopefully finish this tommorow.

Regards, HD

[Michael B]

... in response to IMO, posted by FenixRises on Jul 24, 2001

Greeting Fred, new here, aren't you? Well, welcome.

Sorry, didn't see the movie--but I do know the song and the correct lyrics are "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, that you get what you need"....I think TRY is the key word here. And earlier in the song "at her feet was a blood stained man"---no thank you, Mick, you can keep that one.

Much better lyrics (courtesy of Mr. Dylan) are "Your debutante just knows what you need, but I know what you WANT"....much better the 'setteling' for twice a month with a '6' don't you think?

Now, there is a difference between 'setteling' and being relalistic. If you're 'fat and fifty' (but hey, I do still have all my hair) there's no sense chasing after a 22 y.o. who won "Miss SomeCity" last year---what would you do if she actually caught you?  But who says the ones in a realistic age range can't still be pretty? Mine is, but much more important is her attitude, personality, 'caring factor', what ever you want to call it. Don't settle for less than a '10' in that department. Know what? If she treats you like a '10', she will look like one too.

I stole this line from somebody on another board, but it does ring true: The most beautiful woman in the world is the one who's eyes light up when you walk into the room.

[FenixRises]

... in response to Re: IMO, posted by Michael B on Jul 25, 2001

Hi Michael,
I have been around for about two months so still a newbie
I guess, although I have just returned from Cali.
I agree about settling and realistic.
I'm guessing that you are in my age range. In my case 52.
I live in southern California about a 10 minute drive from the beach. On any given Saturday or Sunday I can go strolling along down there and return home with a tongue full of sand from it hanging that far out.
I have been realistic and know that I am a beer can with a penchant for looking at champagne bottles.
When I went to Cali I wasn't looking for 22yo 10's.
I prefer someone with a bit more living experience.
I did meet someone in Cali who is perfect for me in many ways. The relationship is still in the development phase and I plan to return in Sept.
"If she treats you like a '10', she will look like one too."
And
"The most beautiful woman in the world is the one who's eyes light up when you walk into the room."
How very true!!
Fred