My Story Part 6

[H2-Oh]

Johanna that morning was very strange. Her answers to my questions caused me to believe that something was very wrong. I asked her to tell me what she was thinking? She told me flat out " I don't want to be married to you". I said very calmly, OK what brought this on? She said she thought she didn't even love me! How could this be? Two weeks before I had brought back to the states 3 suitcases full of clothes for her. We had bought clothes in Cali because thay are so much less expensive then the states. Besides she still had 3 more suitcases of clothes to bring back when wee returned to the states in 2 weeks. I told her to take a deep breath and take 4 or 5 days to think about she was doing. She told me she wanted to work and go to school. Well that was fine although we had talked about school the first 2 weeks I had known her. I told her I wasn't going to marry a student and if she wanted to go to school she was free to do so. Johanna then told me that she only wanted to be with me, forget school.
  Johanna then told me that she was going to a finca for the weekend and was going to think about us and would be back on Sunday night.She went to the finca with her younger brother. After hanging up the phone I decided to leave early for Cali and find out for myself what was going on in my apt. So on Friday I left for a quick business to Florida and on Sunday afternoon I was on my way to Cali. Sunday night I checked into the Intercontinental Hotel. The next morning I got up and called a locksmith to meet me at my apt at 10:30am. My gut told me there was something wrong. I knew Johanna would be at computer school  at 10:00am so I would have a few hours to find out what was going on. I got to the apt at 10:10 and the first thing I saw was a dozen red roseson the dining room table. Then I went into the bedroom and found a red rose by the bed. I began to look for the card. I found it in a desk drawer....hidden. It read in spanish" you are a very special girl I love you alot, Diego". Then I went to the kitchen and found cigarette butts!! She had been smoking!!! I looked into the liquior cabinet and everything was gone.
  Let me now tell you about me with regards to respecting Johanna and caring for her. Everything Johanna has, I paid for...period. I gave her everything freely with no strings. I paid for the following. for her to finish school, to remove her wisdom teeth, take her to the hospital because she has a heart condition that needs attention in the states. I supported her mother and 3 step brothers and sister when her step father just left them one night and never returned. I paid for everything, I paid for her brother to go to school, his books his buses, everything. For Johanna's english lessons, her computer classes. I took her to see her favorite musician in Bogota, Alejandro Sanz. I gave her a surprise birthday party with all the presents. Paid for Christmas and ALL the presents for her whole family. Oh by the way I never received one present for Christmas. I paid to buy her mother clothes on mothers days. Brought groceries everymonth for her family. I put her mother through nail school so she could have a career. I paid for all the nail supplies about 400 dollars in total.
Johanna had her hair done every 3 weeks and nails done once a week. I paid for trips to San Andreas, Cartegna. She lived in a luxury apt in Cuidad Jardin with new furniture,  new dishes, everything new, cable TV,2 CD players VHS, Laptop computer, you name it.  
I could go on but I just wanted to give everyone some perspective on how I took care of Johanna and her family. I don't regret anything I did because I found out who she was before the wedding. I asked Johanna for only 2 things, the first don't lie to me, the second if you smoke you can't be with me. She assured me she didn't smoke when we met.Back to the story.
   I then went to the kitchen and got 3 garbage bags and put some clothes of Johanna's in the bags. The locksmith arrived and he changed the locks in 15 minutes. I went to the doorman and told him Johanna was nolonger welcome in the apt. I then went and called Veronica to find out if she could translate for me. I wanted Johanna to understand me word for word. I told her we would be over at about 12:30 to the agency she worked at, she agreed to meet us. I then went back to the apt. At about 11:30 the doorman called and said Johanna's mother was at the door, I went down to see her. Johanna's mother is at best a rotten person. Truth be told. I have always been polite to her even though she is a rotten mother and I'm sure a bad wife. She used to let Johanna and her brother Fabian lay in crap for hours when they where babies because she didn't want to get out of bed till 11:00 in the morning. I invited her mother in and noticed red marks on her face. She told me her husband had come home long enough to get drunk and beat the crap out of her then leave again. We talked for a few minute and I held her while she cried. Then the doorman called me, Johanna was at the front door and wanted to come in. I got up and started to the door, Johanna couldn't see me yet but she would in 2 second. What would she do??? To be continue.......Part 7    H2-Oh

[H2-Oh]

... in response to My Story Part 6, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 17, 2001

Thanks for the imput. All comments are welcome and I consider each one. Thanks.

H2-Oh

[Wasp]

... in response to My Story Part 6, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 17, 2001

What were you doing in Colombia?
Looking for a wife or a kept mistress?
You did everything but give her a salary.

Get a differnet MO.
Finding the hottest babe who will give you the time of day and throwing money at her isn't working.

[buzzy]

... in response to My Story Part 6, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 17, 2001

Great report.  Lots of good MOB issues are raised. Your return to Cali reminds me of a Clint Eastwood western where the avenger hero rides slowly into town to clean up all the corruption while getting sweet-revenge and justice for the townspeople.

[Thomas]

... in response to My Story Part 6, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 17, 2001

Hey I really appreciate your honesty in telling your story its really fascinating. I hope that you do not make these mistakes again my man. I mean the way you describe what you did for her hell I would have married you! Anyway I hope it doesent happen to you again. After all a fool isnt someone who makes mistakes it is someone who repeats them.

[JimSimon]

... in response to My Story Part 6, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 17, 2001

H2-OH,

My sincere sympathies and I'm sure lots of people will appreciate your honestly.

We need to be aware that there are players in the field, Colombian women and American men, who are out for all the can get (money / sex respectively) and we need to be aware of that.

If you earn minimum wage in the US, you are upper middle class in Colombia so there is no way anyone in Colombia can understand our cost of living or our value of money.  

There are two rules:

(1)  Don't show your wealth or spend friviously on a Colombian woman unless you want her to think more about your money than she does you.  Women certainly appreciate being treated special but there are loads of small inexpensive restaurants which are really neat.  Enjoy Colombia, it's women and culture but use your charm more than your money.

(2)  As some point, when you have the right woman, you will probably be helping the family and your fiancee a little.  

I have a friend who bought his fiancee an engagement ring that cost more that her house and their life revolves around her spending his money.  If that is not what you want in a relationship then don't start it.  

Peace,  

Jim

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: My Story Part 6, posted by JimSimon on Jul 17, 2001

"I have a friend who bought his fiancee an engagement ring that cost more that her house and their life revolves around her spending his money. If that is not what you want in a relationship then don't start it."

Good point.  Guys who throw money at these women will be the most likely to attract the wrong types.  If someone feels the need to impress women with cash, then they need to rachet down on the babe factor and be more realistic in who they pursue.

[David W]

... in response to My Story Part 6, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 17, 2001

For what it is worth...up to this point I am sorry for what you have been through.  I went through something similar with an AW, am at times scared of what has happened so far to you might happen to me because I am the type of person that if I have it to give I will.  I hope I do not get taken advantage of. Guess I will have to see with part 7 or more.

David W