One liners.....

[Stephen]

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"

I don't do drugs anymore. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.  

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and @&%$head's.

Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

[stefang]

... in response to One liners....., posted by Stephen on Mar 30, 2003

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?  I will answer this one very simply. We have 50 states so we need 50 babes. Now would you really want to listen to 50 Presidential candidates blabber away promising this, that, and the other thing? It is hard enough listening to two of them, besides our poor industry couldn't afford to buy 50 different candidates.

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: One liners....., posted by stefang on Mar 31, 2003

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