Lessons learned

[JT]

First, cut your losses. I should have hightailed it away from rw #1 early. I didn't and only got to see rw #2 for 3 hours. That was completely in my control, and I should have done something about it.

Second, if you are corresponding with rw, don't get too hung up on one before you meet her. I could tell you every little fact about rw #1, but could barely remember rw #2's name. She, conversely, remembered everything about me, and I don't recall ever being on a date with someone who appeared so excited to meet and be with me. I wonder what would have happened had I met rw#2 early on....

Was it worth it ? Yes. I went to a town well off the beaten path, and some of the people I met had never seen an American before. There were no tourists in this city. I felt that I was seeing the "real" Russia.

Will I return ? Well, upon my return, I sent rw#2 flowers, and got a picture of her with the flowers. She had the same look in her eyes that she had the night I first met her ...

[MNKenr]

... in response to Lessons learned, posted by JT on Aug 30, 2002

Take a second trip as soon as you can. Spend more time with RW#2 on this trip. Maybe try and visit 1 or 2 other woman 'just in case', but that is a personal decision left up to you. If you can afford a second trip (apparent costs and time off work), go on a short trip if you are only visiting this one woman.(5 days or so). It is works out, plan another trip ASAP. If not, well at least you are not there for 14+ days.

For sure write RW+2 some more, and plan a second trip, October is a good time of the year.

MNKenr

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Lessons learned, posted by JT on Aug 30, 2002

I thought you did very well considering the bad luck.  What town were you in anyway?  You have learned a ton which will help you next time you fly to the FSU.

[Oscar]

... in response to Lessons learned, posted by JT on Aug 30, 2002

Don't buy women gifts until you are sure about their motives and CERTAINLY don't buy them a bloody thing once you REALIZE you are being scammed or treated rudely!  I can't believe you would buy her a gift, regardless of what you "promised" her, when she was treating you the way she was.. and then to even give her money at the airport??  Man, I have some real estate in Florida you might be very interested in!

I learned real fast to put a stop the the crap as soon as it hit the fan..
On my last trip, while in Odessa, I met with a woman I had emailed just a few times.  We met at a restaurant with my interpreter (the girl spoke no English) for TEA.. I made it a rule to not buy meals for women on a first meeting.  She knew it was for tea.  So we go in and sit down, ok looking girl, not as cute as her photo, but then she may have thought the same of me for all I know! LOL!  The waiter then came and asked for our orders.  I ordered tea, my interpreter ordered tea, and this girl ordered every frigging thing on the menu just about!  I'm thinking "ok, just let it go"... Anyway, we're sitting there and she pulls out her smokes.  I do not smoke and was specifically only meeting women who had said they did not smoke, as her profile had said.  I had a sore throat at the time and was starting to get sick and I said "Your profile said you didn't smoke", to which she replied "oh, all the girls say that but we all smoke", and she laughed!  I then asked her VERY NICELY that because I had a sore throat that was getting worse, would she mind not smoking at the table?  To which she told my interpreter "I don't like to do what people ask me to do, and again laughed, and she lit up!  At that point I pulled out my wallet (none of us had yet been served anything) threw out enough money for the tea and said to my interpreter "tell her, this meeting is over, I hope she enjoys her cigarette and her meal, she can pay for it as well because I certainly will not be."  I got up, before my interpreter (who sat with a stunned look on her face) had started to tell the jerk what I had said, and I put on my coat.  The girl just looked totally surprised as I walked out of the restaurant.
About 2 minutes later, my interpreter came out.  I thought she might be upset with me or something but she had a HUGE smile on her face!  She said "I can't believe you did that, she deserved every bit of it, she was so incredibly rude I couldn't believe it!"  We then had a good laugh over it.  My interpreter had also told her evidently, how rude she had thought she had been as well, although perhaps a bit more diplomatically.  She told me she wished more men would do what I did because some of the things she saw many of the foreign men put up with from some of the girls was really amazing!  
I do have to say- MAN! It felt GOOD! ;-)

[thesearch]

... in response to Lessons learned, posted by JT on Aug 30, 2002

I have always said that it is always obvious when a woman cares and there is real potential there.

If it is not obvious, most likely but not always there is nothing there worth your time - pack you bags and leave.

Another moto of mine is never try to make a woman want you. However, if she really wants you,, and you feel the same, do everything you can to keep her feeling that way.

I think you trip report is important in that it shows how you orchestrated your time with one woman and what can happen when it is not right.

Mark H - this sound familiar? Keep meeting them one at a time and you are bound to find that one for you sooner or later.