... in response to My cousin is back from Moscow- WOW!, posted by Mike on Feb 25, 2002I have been writing to this one lady since about November. She told me up front that she has had a lot of men write to her but out of all the men she has picked me as the one that she is most interested in. Now, the chances of this being true are slim from a statistical standpoint that I would be that one. Also, she came to this conclusion with only a few pictures and a few e-mails.
This is also the lady whereby I related a week or so ago that she admitted that she was seeking a foreign man as she felt that there simply was no opportunity in Ukraine for her or her child. I did not consider this latter part to be a red flag however, I did consider the above as being a red flag as it was too soon. I mean if I was super handsome that would be one thing and, there is 14 years between our ages. BTW - she has not asked for a dime, uses a friends computer, told me not to go to the expense of translation as she thinks her English is good enough and she thinks I will find humor in how she writes because of her level of English -that has been true.
Anyway, I have learned do not be suspicious in a way that affects how the lady perceives your actions. If one does this, you simply increase the chances of ruining what might become a good relationship. All one should do is observe.
Now what about this lady mentioned who is saying I love you to twenty different men? Is she a scammer? I am going to tell you that in the strictest sense, she may not be. I say this because she may have heard that most guys do not come over to meet - they just waste your time, energy and funds with correspondence that is doomed to go nowhere.
How is a lady going to deal with this? First of all this lady knows that she will not know if she is really interested in someone until she spends time with him. Sometimes a man or a woman will know immediately when they meet someone of the opposite sex if there is a possibility. So, her goal is to get someone over so she can find out. The more men she can get to come the more choices she will have. If she focuses on one or two or even maybe three guys - it is very likely that perhaps one, if she is lucky, might make the trip. If she wants to be successful in this venture, she is going to have to increase her odds.
What she is guilty of is weighing the pro's and con's of lying and is choosing to give a man encouragement that is unfounded just to possibly get him here --- thus deception. Is this bad (?) - well it certainly is not ideal. Does it make her a scammer - not to me.
Now, yes --- a scammer who wants anyone just for the green card might do this as all she needs is a warm body - but my call is do not assume until enough evidence is stacked against the lady - otherwise you may destroy or damage what could have been a wonderful relationship.
