I had been dating an AW that I really liked a great deal. So, since I met her, I was not interested in seeking a woman from the FSU. I really had no reason to look elsewhere. She is beautiful and a lot of fun to be with. She also happened to be several years younger but not excessively so. However, it now appears as though she is a fair weather lover. I won't go into what suggested this but lets just say that I am disappointed but that is life. The point to this is that I did not figure this out for a long time........
In a recent post Rostick brought up the point that men he had worked with have been rude in sizing up the women that they might be interested in as though they were nothing but a piece of meat. I understood his point very well. However, the easiest thing to see is exterior beauty and men commonly will always use this as a first screening priority - it just needs to be done with dignity and respect. I felt that this really was the point.
For me, (and I hope for most everyone else) the most important aspect of a woman is in her heart, her personality, her ethics, her values, her loyalty, does she believe in God or is it money etc? - for it is all of this that ultimately brings or denies one happiness.
From what I have read, FSU women can be very deceptive in that they can produce the illusion of what you want if they choose and can hide who they are in an art form that AW have just not mastered relative to the masses. My personal experience suggests that this can be the case. In other words the most important issue might be clouded in deception. And, from what I hear, deception may be considered acceptable behavior from a cultural standpoint to some degree.
So, how do you really know what you are getting gentlemen? Because if you are fooled, you are fooled. And, it seems that the fooled do not post so much here as they do at other forums. At least one other FSU forum refers to the men here as being naive and overly optimistic. Of course, one has to understand these are men that got burnt and there comments are from that perspective. Some of the reading is good in that they are real stories of men getting fooled and thus there is something to learn from that.
If I did not figure things out with my AW that I dated for some time here in the USA - how can you figure it out with a woman from the FSU when there is not that window of time? Especially - with a woman that some say is capable of being the chameleon of the female species. Since I had the time, fortunately my AW ultimately showed me what I could expect in the long run from her. You will not have this opportunity of time with a FSU woman in most cases. All of the e-mail and phone calls can not replace being or living with someone.
In this sense, everyone of you is taking a spin at the Roulette wheel in no uncertain terms. Of course you do this when you partner up with any woman. Is the spin of the Roulette wheel more dangerous than when you spin it here or at home?
These ladies are also spinning that Roulette wheel when they agree to join you in your homeland. Many men simply deceive these women about who they are and what life style they can expect. I suspect that the women are more at risk then the men actually. Generally there is a different crowd that is here at this forum but men here are the vast minority of who are out there seeking a woman from the FSU. Now, what kind of a guy is going to take the risks of the Roulette wheel from the FSU?
1. The first category is the desperate - well this applies to many of these FSU women as well. The more desperate the greater risk they will take. This desperation is and/or the lack of good men and/or an economy that gives little promise and/or desire to escape a challenging life style either for her and/or her children. Women like this may find themselves overlooking things about you that time may not let them forget only to become too uncomfortable to remain longer than the two year time frame. They are not going to tell you this. They will hope for the best knowing that once they are here that their market only improves for them relative to finding a desirable man. So, if you are not convinced that your lady is really attracted to you, do not bring her over here. I have grave concerns for men who note that their lady was not that affectionate yet still consider bringing her over. From the forum's of those that have been burned - commonly they say - the red flags were there but I choose to ignore them or make excuses or accept excuses from my future bride.
The media indirectly portrays that desperation is a major driving force for many men seeking a woman from the FSU. Certainly this does not apply to all men but the answer as to what percentage of those seeking a woman from the FSU are in demand with AW is not known.
2. The next group - the discerning - someone who wants more woman than he can get here in the USA and has discovered that this is exactly what the FSU promises to be possible - someone who is willing to take the risk for the potential gain. It was men like this who came to America to found the thirteen colonies. Now there are those here that say that because of the divorce rate here in the USA they are not taking any greater risk looking to the FSU. You do not know that. The divorce rate could be higher for AM/FSU marriages. To say such is only rationalization and is the type of mentality that will get you in trouble - the type of mentality that will allow you to ignore red flags - only to later say oh my God, I should have listened to my instincts. I firmly believe that those that do not have an agenda relative to time frame etc but listen to their instincts and are willing to leave a lady they have time invested in versus rationalizing that the time invested warrants trying to make it work are more likely to be the ones who end up saying "I can not believe how lucky I am to have found my wife." These become the examples that people use as a bench mark of why they are doing all of this. The problem is that this process is expensive and many will be tempted to ignore red flags and instincts because they are looking at how much they have already spent and concerns of starting over with even more expenses.
Here in the USA, I can find all kinds of wonderful AW to date as long as they are close to my age - as the age gap gets larger those interested drop off relative to quality and number. In the FSU this all changes - the quality does not drop off as the age spread widens it actually stays improved relative to the USA in all categories and remains so even with this increased age spread. There is no doubt that it will be a lot easier to find a quality woman who also is very attractive as well as being a lot younger than I could attract here in the USA.
And, in here lies the danger as there is a temptation to push the limits - why? - because they will let you. That is the problem and the challenge to your common sense. Unfortunately the green card scammer is more likely to let you do this as her agenda and yours are different. LP said that of the women he talked to where there was a Platonic relationship mostly related to him that getting here was their first priority. A 22 year old lady in Kharkov who is doing translation for me said the same thing in so many words. Other FSU women that I have talked to (not all) have confirmed this is what they see with many women at the agencies that they use. So, as has been said before but needs to be repeated periodically is do not exceed by too much what you are able to attract in the female gender in your homeland. Only you know what that limit is.
So, you are willing to marry a woman you really do not know? This seems like desperation to many of the outside world regardless of reality and this will not change. And, since you really do not know her - she is in reality a mail order bride to some degree whether you are willing to admit it or not. So what, it is a free world. Do not be concerned about what others think. And one does have to admit that the window of time that dating an AW affords does not seem to produce a low divorce rate in many industrialized countries. It is clear that having the time to know someone is not a guarantee of anything. This plus the fact that you can find more in a woman in the FSU than you can here are the two most significant reasons to consider a woman from the FSU IMHO.
Now, when we consider that you can not really date these women - you have to marry them in a very short time frame plus there are significant finances involved in seeking a woman from the FSU - I personally would not do this unless I could return home with a younger more beautiful woman than otherwise is obtainable in my homeland. Yes many of us do want a woman that embodies the values and ethics that seemed to be more prevalent years ago. No doubt this is available with many but not all FSU women. However, the younger the FSU lady the greater chance she might not hold this slowly drifting to imitate her AW counterpart.
This dialogue summarizes some of what I have learned in this process. Good luck to you all.
